Rivka, Our Sister You Will Always Be

Parashat Chayei Sarah

Printable Version

Between Indecision and Instantaneous Faith in an Unknown Fate

Indecision is one of the many plagues of this generation, especially among young women. There are so many choices out there, and so many distractions that it is often hard to tune into what we really want – what the right thing is – what Hashem wants from us. All our hesitations waste precious time and energy that could have been applied in holy action. This week’s parasha can inspire us to learn decisiveness as we are introduced to a girl who knows exactly what she wants from a very young age. Imagine Rivkah a young girl of either three (Rashi, Bereishit 25:20), or fourteen (Da’at Zekenim Ba’alei Tosfot Bereishit 25:20), leaving her family, home and birthplace behind without the slightest hesitation. She had just met Avraham’s servant for the very first time. The next morning, when he must depart urgently, she agrees to follow him to an unknown fate, in order to marry a man she has never met. With a decisive smile she answers, “I’ll go” (Bereishit 24:58). To where? To what? To whom? What gave this young child the ability to pick herself up and leave her parents, just like that out of the blue without any time to even pack her bag? The poem below, written as a dialogue between Rivkah and her family, is an attempt to answer this question. I also composed a melody for the poem which you can listen to here (women only).

Walking in Rivkah’s Footprints

I admire many of my students who are walking in Rivkah’s footsteps leaving everything and everyone behind in order to start a complete new life in the Holy Land. We can count among our students those who left not only their parents but also their children and sometimes grandchildren behind to follow the light. It must be just as hard for a mature woman to say goodbye as it is for a young child. When you have built a life for yourself, succeeded in your career and developed close relationships over the years much faith is needed to heed your calling and actualize your Jewishness fully by living as a Jew in the Promised Land. Women with this kind of spiritual strength truly continue to set Rivkah’s example, paving the way for others to follow suit.

Blessings of Farewell

“Our sister you will always be,

even if you were never really one of us.

We will miss you and feel the greatest loss,

when the mountain separates between us.”

“I have waited all my life for this moment

when I finally can say my goodbyes.

I am fed up with all your greediness,

with your trickery and with all your lies.”

“Our sister please don’t be so cold,

as the mountain separates between us.

It is your time now – we are growing old.

We will miss the kindness of your way.”

“I have waited all my life for this moment

when I will rise with the sun.

I am going to marry a very holy man,

to a home where Hashem will be one.”

“Our sister please remember us

as you take off to meet your soulmate.

May your merit bring us good luck too,

as you rise and grow to become great.”

“I will miss my mother’s sweet caress.

When you wipe away my tear,

I may be alone in this unknown world,

but, still, I really have no fear.”

“Our sister, take your nurse with you

as your faithful comfort and escort.

When you will long for a well-known face,

Devorah will be your true support.”

“I will take Devorah and be on my way.

Please take care of the camels and the sheep.

Bring the pitchers to the well every day.

Remember to water all the trees.”

“Our sister blessings of farewell.

May your heartfelt prayers become true!

May Avraham’s blessing be fulfilled in you

and myriads of children come from you!”

“Our sister you will forever be,

even if you were never really one of us.

We will miss you and feel the greatest loss,

when the mountain separates between us.”

Where did All the Female Angels Go?

Parashat Vayera
Printable Version

The Angels in My Life

“You are an angel!” I often exclaim when people show up at the right time in the right place. Today two such ‘angels’ knocked on our door. The first was a new neighbor – that I didn’t know I had – who needed milk for his coffee. It turned out that this newlywed young man had experience in painting houses. When he entered Friday afternoon, Levi, our family home-improver, was about to finish changing the floor tiles in our son’s bedroom. We had been postponing changing our cracked floor tiles for many years, as it just seemed to unmanageable a project to move out all our accumulated stuff from each room. This year we just jumped into the cold water, trusting that somehow we would get through it. After having carried all the exorbitant amount of stuff – mainly Torah books – out of our son’s bedroom, it became clear that the room needed a serious paint job, and if we didn’t do it now we probably wouldn’t do it for at least another ten years, if ever. In order to avoid living one more day with all my son’s stuff in the living room, the painting had to happen ASAP, and it turned out with amazing Divine providence that our new neighbor was available to get the job done right away. The second ‘angel’ was a 10-year-old-son of a different neighbor who asked if he could collect our garden clippings for his goats. Now, my husband had just been pruning various bushes, and I had not managed to hire anyone to pick up after him, so this boy was truly an angel sent to clean up our garden in honor of Shabbat. Do I really mean to say, that these various wonderful people are actual angels? What is an angel anyway? In Hebrew, the wordמַלְאַךְ /malach – ‘angel,’ also means ‘messenger.’ Angels are messengers of G-d, sent into this world to accomplish a particular mission. The word malach is mentioned 67 times in the Tanach. The first instance was the angel that Hashem sent to Hagar to help her return to her mistress, Sarah. Every time I step into my car, I pray to Hashem to send His protective angels to help me arrive and return home safely!

Avraham’s Angelic Visitors

Each angel can only perform one errand (Midrash Bereishit Rabbah 50:2). This is because the identity and essence of each angel is the mission for which it was created. If two angels would carry on the same mission, they would become one angel, while one angel performing two missions would become two angels (Maharal, Bereishit 18:2). This principle is exemplified in the opening of this week’s parasha when Hashem sends Avraham three angels in the form of men:

ספר בראשית פרק יח פסוק א וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו הָשֵׁם בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא וְהוּא ישֵׁב פֶּתַח הָאֹהֶל כְּחֹם הַיּוֹם:

(ב) וַיִּשָּׂא עֵינָיו וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה שְׁלשָׁה אֲנָשִׁים נִצָּבִים עָלָיו וַיַּרְא וַיָּרָץ לִקְרָאתָם מִפֶּתַח הָאֹהֶל וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ אָרְצָה:

“Hashem appeared to him in Alonei Mamrei, while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of day. He lifted his eyes and behold, three men were standing beside him, he saw and he ran towards them from the entrance of the tent, and he prostrated himself to the ground” (Bereishit 18:1-2).

These ‘men’ visiting Avraham were angels, who each were charged with a particular mission: One to bring the good tidings [of Yitzchak’s birth] to Sarah, one to overturn Sodom, and one to heal Avraham. Raphael, who healed Avraham, went from there to save Lot (Rashi, Bereishit 18:2). If an angel can only perform one mission, how can the same angel both heal Avraham and save Lot? According to Rashi, healing and saving is the same kind of mission (Siftei Chachamim Ibid.). Although many kinds of angels expire as soon as they have completed their mission, the ministering angels, who have multitudes of underlings, continue throughout the ages performing their particular kind of mission. The Talmud explains: “Who were the three ‘men?’ – Michael, Gavriel, and Raphael. Michael came to bring the tidings to Sarah; Raphael [which means ‘healer of G-d’], to heal Avraham; and Gavriel [‘strength of G-d’], to overturn Sodom. But is it not written, “The two angels came to Sodom in the evening” (Bereishit 19:1)? – Michael accompanied him to rescue Lot (Babylonian Talmud, Baba Metzia 86b). Thus, there is a discord between the Talmud and Rashi whether it was Michael or Raphael that went to rescue Lot. Rabbeinu Bachaya explains that the mission of each of the three ministering angels visiting Avraham was according to their particular midah – character. The mission of Michael, the angel of chesed – ‘kindness,’ came to tell Sarah the good news, although according to nature she was unable to conceive; and to save Lot, although he didn’t deserve it. Raphael, the angel of gevurah – ‘severity and judgment’ – came to overturn Sodom, whereas Raphael – whose mission is rachamim – ‘compassion,’ came to heal Avraham. If you have any doubt whether the three ‘men’ visiting Avraham indeed were Michael, Gavriel and Raphael, our Torah verse alludes to this identification as follows: וְהִנֵּה שְׁלשָׁה/v’hine shelosha – ‘behold three’ has the numerical value of 701. This equals the accumulated numerical value of, אלו מיכאל גבריאל ורפאל – These are Michael, Gavriel and Raphael (Ba’al HaTurim Ibid.).

Do Angels Have Free Will?

“He ran towards them from the entrance of the tent.” Why did Avraham run towards the angels rather after them, as we would expect when the men were passing by his tent and Avraham wanted to invite them in. Since angels don’t have a backside, therefore, Avraham would not be able to run after them. Luckily, his tent had four entrances; therefore, it is possible that he ran towards them to the opposite entrance (Toldot Yitzchak). It makes sense to me that angels don’t have a back, since all our unrectified negativity and doubts reside in the back. Because angels do not have free choice, they need no backside as they can only move forward to fulfill their mission. For the same reason angels are depicted with only one straight leg. “Their legs are a straight leg” (Yechezkiel 1:7). They do not need two legs to move forward, since they are created to reach their goal automatically. Being static, they only need one leg as a stand, without even a knee to bend. If angels don’t have a free choice then how could they possible come to sin as was the case with the two angels in our parasha who came to Sodom? They were punished for being arrogant when they exclaimed, “For we are destroying this place” (Bereishit 19:13). Consequently, Gavriel was forced to admit that ultimate power is only in Hashem’s hand as it later states, “Hasten, flee there, for I will not be able to do” (Ibid. 22). This is the angels’ punishment because they said (verse 13): “For we are destroying,” and they attributed the matter to themselves (Rashi Ibid.). According to the Midrash, they were punished and left to wander the world for 138 years. They were permitted to return only at the time of Ya’acov’s dream. This is why the verse first says that the angels were ascending and only afterwards descending (Bereishit 28:12); (Midrash, Bereishit Rabbah 68:12). Since angels do not have a yetzer hara (evil inclination), they cannot sin by deliberately opposing the will of G-d. However, only the Creator is perfect, in contrast to the imperfect creation. Since angels are also creations of G‑d they are imperfect like any other creation even the highest intellectual beings. They too in some way conceal the ultimate reality. Therefore, although an angel cannot sin, it can nevertheless make a mistake or at least present a distortion of the truth (Rabbi Yeshaya Halevi Horowitz, Shnei Luchot HaBrit (Shelah).When an angel is sent on a divine mission, it is meant to fulfill that duty while putting its own identity completely aside. Although the angels who were sent to destroy Sodom did indeed fulfill their mission, they spoke as if they themselves were going to destroy the city. This was a distortion of the truth of their role, due to their imperfections. Thus angels can sin only through mistaking their mission or trying to reach levels of revelation where they do not belong (Rabbi Eibshitz, Ya’arot Devash, vol. 1 lecture 2).

Are there Female Angels?

In the Torah, angels never appear as women. The angels that visited Avraham were all male, and no angel is ever referred to in Scripture as any gender other than the masculine. One of the ten categories of angels are even called אִישִׁים/Ishim – ‘men’ (Rambam, Mishna Torah, Laws of the Foundations of the Torah 2:7). However, we would expect the spiritual world to reflect the male and female creatures of the physical world according to the spiritual rule: “Hashem has made one corresponding to the other” (Kohelet 7:14). In essence, the angels are completely genderless and therefore do not engage in procreation. This is why the Torah was not given to the angels, as its laws such as the prohibition against adultery do not apply to them (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 88b). If the angels are neither male nor female, then why are they depicted as males in the Torah? According to Kabbalah, male and female is relative. The male is essentially the influencer, whereas the female is the receiver. The same being may be considered male in one world and yet female in relation to another higher world (Zohar part two, 4a). Since the angels are sent down into this world to perform a mission of enacting a particular divine influence they are described as males in this world, while they would be female in relationship to Hashem. Even if some may claim that the “two women, with the wind in their wings” described in Zechariah 5:9 are an example of female angels, yet, these women in Zechariah’s prophetic vision are not called angels, but נָשִׁים/nashim –“women.” By contrast, the angel that Zechariah was speaking to is called הַמַּלְאָךְ/hamalach – “the angel.” Similarly, there are those who claim that the angel Laylah in charge of conception and birth is a female angel. Although the name, Laylah, has a female ending and its function is apparently feminine, it is described in the male gender, לַיְלָה שְׁמוֹ/Laylah shemo – “Laylah is his name” (Babylonian Talmud, Nidah 16b). Nevertheless, I was happy to find the mention of female angels in the writings of the Arizal who asserts that also among the angels there are two aspects, male and female. The female angels are the powers of judgment in holiness. These female angels sing praises to Hashem including the Song of the Sea and they are rectifications for the Shechina (Divine Female Indwelling Presence). Whenever we perform a mitzvah below it creates an angel above: “He who fulfills one mitzvah, acquires for himself one angel-advocate…” (Pirkey Avot 4:11). Certain mitzvot create female angels whereas others create male angels (Me’il Hakadosh on Etz Chaim, gate 16). The female angels are part of the entourage of the angel Sandalphon (Arizal, Pri Etz Chaim, Gate of Prayer chapter 7). Sandalphon is considered the soulmate of one of the main awesome angels called Metatron (Sefer Emek HaMelech gate 14 chapter 95). These two angels are possibly the two כְּרוּבִים/Keruvim – ‘Cherubs’ that resided upon the cover of the Ark of the Covenant (Pardes Rimonim gate 23 chapter 11). The angels Metatron and Sandalphon are the twin souls – male and female that unite Heaven and Earth. Thus, we women can be a comforted to know that the feminine is not absent among the heavenly hosts.

Lech Lecha Without Goodbye

Parashat Lech Lecha
Printable Version

Lech Lecha Without Goodbye

Abba, to an unknown world you took a stroll,

you went to yourself – to the essence of your soul.

To your eternal resting place where you dwell,

leaving me alone without kissing me farewell.

Abba, how I long to know how well you fared.

Thinking about the sweet memories we shared.

Even when you left some of your mind behind,

your spirit taught me how to let go and unwind.

From childhood, you were my pillar of strength.

You taught me how the world works at length.

I relied on you. There was nothing you did not know.

How could I accept that one day you would have to go?

Abba, to an unknown world you took a stroll,

you went to yourself – to the essence of your soul.

To your eternal resting place where you dwell,

leaving me alone without kissing me farewell.

The deepest pain in my heart, I confided.

You put your arm around me when I cried.

You were always there for me right by my side.

But who could ever comfort me when you died?

I cried when they brought you to a home.

You continued to sing ‘hevenu shalom.’

You were so present, love shone from your eyes.

I did not realize how swiftly time flies.

We would dance, laugh, sing and play.

You escaped the home but didn’t stray.

You walked the path. You knew the way

to your real home without delay.

Abba, to an unknown world you took a stroll,

you went to yourself – to the essence of your soul.

To your eternal resting place where you dwell,

leaving me alone without kissing me farewell.

They ensured that these escapades would stop.

No more going out, even with mother to shop.

You were like a lion that couldn’t be caged.

Not allowed to come and go made you enraged.

They were breaking your Jewish pride

Your anger would no longer subside.

They kept placing inside of your mug,

one calming, sedating drug after drug.

No one told me, I was kept in the dark.

I was helpless far away from Denmark.

In vain wanting to kidnap and bring you here,

to your great grandchildren that you hold dear.

When they told me that you were deep in sleep.

I could not find rest my grief was too deep.

I wanted to sing for you, pray and hold your hand.

But there were no flight that day from Israel’s land.

They didn’t even give a drop to keep you alive,

Until the daughters from Israel would arrive.

More morphine to take away the pain,

so you would never open your eyes again.

When I finally arrived, it was all over.

All I could do was your face to cover.

How I wanted to be with you when you left your body below,

to accompany you on the last journey that you would go.

Abba, to an unknown world you took a stroll,

you went to yourself – to the essence of your soul.

To your eternal resting place where you dwell,

leaving me alone without kissing me farewell.

The Clever Cat from Judea

Parashat Noach
Printable Version

The countryside of Judea I call my home.

In my green, sunny garden, I love to roam.

I have lived here as far as I can remember back,

discovering every rock, terrace and winding track.

In the hills of the Promised Land is where I belong.

I cherish the clean air, the blue skies and birdsong.

I recognize all the herbs, flowers and trees,

and keep busy chasing butterflies and bees.

Snakes and scorpions I have rarely seen.

I’ve learned to always keep myself clean.

I carefully lick every nick of my fur,

while I calmly sit in the sun and purr.

I look handsome, nice and neat even if I am a bit fat.

The Talmud says you can learn modesty from a cat.

Although I don’t have a toilet with a closed door,

I hide and cover up, never making on the floor.

When children give me attention, I get excited.

While they giggle and pet me, I am delighted.

I crawl on their lap, carefully drawing back my claws,

rubbing my face to theirs while they hold my paws.

Both cats and children need a kind, loving touch.

I trust you have parents that you love very much.

You may even have a beloved sister or brother.

Even cats sometimes take care of each other.

Yet, cats are different and easily forget.

My own father I have never ever met.

My sisters and brothers I cannot recall.

I don’t even remember my mother at all.

Yet, I’m a good father to hundreds of cats.

I have taught them not to behave like brats.

The orange-specked, playful cats belong to my tribe.

They will do what you tell them for a little tasty bribe.

Although a great grandfather, I’m as playful as a child.

I have fun with the kittens and join them running wild.

We wrestle for fun making sure not to scratch or bite.

I challenge their strength so they’ll know how to fight. 

My master gives us all a raw chicken wing a day.

I snatch more from other cats when he’s looking away.

I’m an animal, I don’t know the difference between ‘yours and mine.’

You are a person, giving to your brother or friend makes you shine.  

I can do many tricks for an extra treat,

a tuna fish sandwich or a piece of meat. 

To the repeated commands on my master’s lips,

I know how to turn over, do somersaults and flips.

In the house, I am not the most welcome guest,

but getting into the house is my greatest quest.

When others enter, I closely follow their trail.

I’ve learned to be swift and almost never fail.

With my extended paw, I can open the screen-door.

It takes a bit of skill and effort, I have done it before.

With proud strides, I enter the home even faster,

mounting the favorite armchair of my master.

My achievement is usually cut short,

when the mistress wants me to escort.  

I run around the table in a hide ’n’ seek game.

It’s fun when she chases me, calling my name.

Outside I sit on my favorite garden chair,

waiting for my master to return from pray’r.

When I hear his footsteps, I run on a whim,

speedily up the driveway happy to greet him.

When my master takes a brisk walk, I come along.

If there is a dog on the way, I need to stay strong.

If the dog barks and looks big and stern,

I may get terrified and decide to return.

Children are much safer and have less reason to fear.

You can hold your parents’ hand until the path is clear.

Even parents have people that stop any offence,

but who can an outdoor cat trust for his defense?

Not even on my master does my safety depend.

Only in G-d can we trust. He is our best friend.

He is our devoted father and mother.

None of us truly have any other.

That’s why I love to be near my mistress when she prays.

We both sit together in the garden under the sun’s rays.

I join the Torah learning of my master and his wife.

Perhaps I was a holy rabbi in my previous life.

This explains why I am such a clever cat,

even if I do not wear a big black hat.

I am certain that you must agree

I’m the very best cat I can be.

My Granddaughter Granting Me a Ride to Heaven

Parashat Bereishit
Printable Version

Grandma Behold the Heavens!

Today I finally took down all the beautiful artistic drawings my granddaughters had made and pasted on our glass door so the light would shine through them. I had left the drawings hanging for close to a month, but now, faded in the sunlight; it was time to take them down. Fortunately, I had photographed the pictures when they were fresh and colorful. As I wistfully threw them out, one of the drawings called my attention. It was from my youngest granddaughter, Hadar, age 8. She wrote me: נני הנה השמים!/Nani hine hashamayim! – Grandma here is heaven!  (I have to mention that Nani is the name my daughter-in-law and granddaughters call me, but that’s a whole other story for another time). “Grandma behold the Heavens!” written inside of a heart shape, tugged at my core and brought tears to my eyes. Faded or not, I wasn’t going to throw out this drawing. And here it is taped onto the wall at my writing desk. My loving granddaughter, with a heart so vast, open and loving, wanted to give me all of heaven if she only could. The love of this child has no judgmental limitations, no fear of rejection, or failure. She is ready to share even the highest heavens, which continually seem to open for her.

Embracing the Stars 

Whereas some people may be over-achievers, always pushing themselves to achieve the highest goals not knowing how to relax and have fun, it is still vital to reach for heavens in our aspirations. Too many closing doors may taunt our juvenile starry hopes. Perhaps the muddy reality has darkened our childlike heavenly visions. Yet, when I look into my granddaughter’s sparkling eyes, a glimpse of all the open opportunities returns the light to my own dusty visions. “Is anything too wondrous for Hashem?” (Bereishit 18:14). Isn’t the essence of the Jewish people emunah that Hashem can open the heavens for us? Avraham and Sarah teach us never to give up. Even after all hope is lost, there is still hope after despair. Hashem changed the position of the stars and planets so Sarah could have a son (Bereishit 12:5). Since Hashem is the Creator of heaven and earth, He can also change the reality He created for us. If only we would retain a childlike belief in the impossible, then we could cuddle the stars.

Remember the Heavenly Purpose Why We Were Sent Down to Earth

Being a Virgo by birth, I have a natural earthy inclination. Moreover, having been preoccupied with the earth of the gardens, I could really use my granddaughter’s gift of heaven. My job as the director of a midrasha – even a very heavenly midrasha – still requires me to keep my two feet firmly planted in the earth of practicality. With all the pressures tugging at our toes, it is easy to forget our spiritual yearning. It’s easy to forget that “in the beginning Hashem created heaven and earth” (Bereishit 1:1). Although there are different opinions whether heaven or earth was created first (Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 36:1), “heaven” precedes “earth” in the very first verse of the Torah. As busy as we may be dealing with earthly challenges, we mustn’t forget the heavenly purpose of why we were sent down to earth. On the other hand, there are those so preoccupied with spiritual matters that they repeatedly forget their shoes under the dining room table.

On the Earthly Wings of Heaven

Achieving balance between heaven and earth in our life is the goal. Therefore, in the next mention of “heaven and earth,” each of them gets a turn to be written first:  

ספר בראשית פרק ב פסוק ד אֵלֶּה תוֹלְדוֹת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְהָאָרֶץ בְּהִבָּרְאָם בְּיוֹם עֲשׂוֹת הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהִים אֶרֶץ וְשָׁמָיִם: 

 “These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created, on the day that Hashem Elokim made earth and heaven” (Bereishit 2:4).

Rashi explains that Hashem created two worlds: This World and the World-to-Come as it states, “For in Yah [yud and heh], Hashem is the Rock [Creator] of the worlds” (Yesha’yahu 26:4). This World is created with the letter ה/heh which is open on the bottom, just as this World is open to those who return in repentance. The World-to-Come is created with the letter י/yud alluding that the righteous are few the same way that the yud is the smallest of the Hebrew letters. The “earth” seems to refer to this World, whereas “heaven” refers to the World-to-Come. As I gaze at my dear granddaughter’s drawing, I get a sense that she is giving me a ride on the wings of the heavenly י/yud all the way to the World-to-Come.