Parashat Vayera
Prayer for Overcoming Obsessions Distracting us
From Experiencing Prayerful Divine Encounters
From Experiencing Prayerful Divine Encounters
Hashem when will You please reveal Yourself to me?
My soul has been yearning for a spiritual vision to see.
My spirit is thirsting for Your sacred perk,
to help me slow down from all the hard work.
If only I could ignore every message, what’s app and email,
and all the heaps of worldly chores that my mindfulness derail.
Then my prayerful Divine encounter wouldn’t have to fail.
Why am I still so afraid that my messages will grow stale?
Is it an obsessive compulsion that prompts me to keep my inbox clean,
preventing me from a meditative experience that would feel so serene?
Help me open my heart to hear the messages directly from You!
I know deep down that only these missives are perpetually true.
Don’t allow the hardships of life harden my heart,
detaching me from my soul and tearing me apart!
Spare me from becoming like Pharaoh, from whom you removed free choice,
or like the Hebrews, who due to shortness of breath, couldn’t hear Your voice!
Though the Israelites in the forty-nine impure gates were disgraced,
You enveloped them with Your compassion and let them be embraced.
I too ask for a chance to rectify and begin cultivating mindful ways,
dedicated more to prayerful living, meditation, and to Your praise.
Help me let go of the need to take charge, arrange and control!
Remind me how organization isn’t worth selling my soul!
Hashem help me to overcome any ambitious addictive drives!
Strengthen my resolve to recall the ultimate purpose of our lives!
Allow me to tear myself away from my repetitive life routine!
I desire to expect Your miracles and pack my new tambourine.
We are created to reveal Your presence here on the earth.
Help me start over, allow me to experience a rebirth!
Based on the Book of Shemot Chapter 6-8
ספר שמות פרק ו פסוק ג וָאֵרָא אֶל אַבְרָהָם אֶל יִצְחָק
וְאֶל יַעֲקֹב בְּאֵל שַׁדָּי וּשְׁמִי הָשֵׁם לֹא
נוֹדַעְתִּי לָהֶם:
“I appeared to Avraham, to Yitzchak, and to Ya’acov with [the name]
Almighty G-d, but [with] My name Y-H-V-H, I did not become known to them” (Shemot
6:3).
ספר שמות פרק ו פסוק ט וְלֹא שָׁמְעוּ אֶל משֶׁה מִקֹּצֶר
רוּחַ וּמֵעֲבֹדָה קָשָׁה:
“Moshe spoke thus to the
children of Israel, but they did not listen to Moshe because of [their]
shortness of breath and because of [their] hard labor” (Shemot 6:9).
ספר שמות פרק ז פסוק ג וַאֲנִי אַקְשֶׁה אֶת לֵב פַּרְעֹה
וְהִרְבֵּיתִי אֶת אֹתֹתַי וְאֶת מוֹפְתַי בְּאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם:
“But
I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and I will increase My signs and My wonders in
the land of Egypt (Shemot 7:3).
ספר שמות פרק ח פסוק
יא וַיַּרְא פַּרְעֹה כִּי הָיְתָה
הָרְוָחָה וְהַכְבֵּד אֶת לִבּוֹ וְלֹא שָׁמַע אֲלֵהֶם כַּאֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר הָשֵׁם:
“When Pharaoh
saw that there was relief, he hardened his heart, and he did not hearken to
them, as Hashem had spoken” (Shemot 8:11).
One who comes to become impure, they, [Heaven] provide
him with an opening [to do so, and he is not prevented from sinning. If he
comes to become purified, [not only is he allowed to do so, but] they, in
Heaven, assist him (Babylonian Talmud Shabbat 104a).
The active help of heaven for going in the
right direction is much greater than the passive help, which does not prevent a
person from choosing evil.
Nechama Leibowitz: It is the person who chooses. We are the
ones who open or harden our hearts. G-d helps us according to His will. The
active help which we get from heaven for choosing the good path is different
from the passive help that doesn’t prevent us from choosing evil.
An
example of this is when we sometimes wake up full of energy to daven, to feel
connected to Hashem through Torah learning and performance of Mitzvot. It is
up to us to choose whether we are going to act upon or ignore this awareness.
If we chose repeatedly to ignore it, even if a great miracle should happen to
us, it would not arouse us to repent, since we already conditioned ourselves
not to be aware of G‑d. We must beware not to let our yetzer hara act like
Pharaoh, who said, “Who is Hashem that I should listen to him?” He had made
his heart so hard that it had become desensitized from recognizing G‑d. This
is the real meaning of “And the Eternal hardened Pharaoh’s heart” (Shemot
9:12).
ספר שמות פרק
ט פסוק יב וַיְחַזֵּק הָשֵׁם אֶת לֵב פַּרְעֹה וְלֹא שָׁמַע אֲלֵהֶם כַּאֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר הָשֵׁם אֶל משֶׁה:
“But Hashem strengthened Pharaoh’s heart, and
he did not listen to them, as Hashem spoke to Moshe (Shemot 9:12).
ריש לקיש אמר אין
אדם עובר עבירה אלא אם כן נכנס בו רוח שטות שנא' איש איש כי תשטה אשתו תשטה:
Reish Lakish said, “A person doesn’t sin
unless a spirit of insanity enters him…” (Babylonian Talmud Sotah 3a).
It is within the power of our free will not
to let in this spirit of insanity (ruach stut). Once a person lets the ruach
stut in, he gets trapped, and it is very difficult to repent. We can learn
from Pharaoh that once we start in the wrong way, it is extremely difficult to
change. Everyone knows how hard it is to say no to that second piece of cake.
The Talmud
teaches us that when a person repeats the same sin over and over, he starts to
feel that what he is not sinning at all:
תלמוד בבלי מסכת יומא
דף פו/ב
דאמר רב הונא כיון
שעבר אדם עבירה ושנה בה הותרה לו הותרה לו סלקא דעתך אלא אימא נעשית לו כהיתר...
Rav Huna said: When a person commits a transgression
and repeats it, it is permitted to him. Can it enter your mind that it is
permitted to him Rather, say it becomes to him as if [it were] permitted (Babylonian
Talmud, Yoma 86b).
This is an additional way of explaining the mechanism of hardening our own heart. By accustoming ourselves to bad habits, the yetzer hara makes us believe that it is o.k. When we don’t recognize our own wrongdoing, how can we ever do teshuva? We learn from Pharaoh, how important it is not to begin to sin, to avoid being trapped in evil habits which lock the gate of repentance.
