 |
| Drama exercise in Megillat Ruth class |
As
we entered the caverns, the rocks turned to soft sand, winding down into a
labyrinth of cascading mounds, the silence growing, glowing like the full moon
guiding our footsteps. Who can speak of the desert at night? There is so much
to say, and still no words. Sitting in a circle, our guide Yisrael Cheveroni
asked us to close our eyes and imagine the sounds of a forest - trees, birds,
animals, water. Then he asked us to imagine the sound of the ocean. Finally he
told us to open our eyes; to look and listen to the place in which we sat. After
repeating this meditation, our guide reminded us that the Hebrew word for
desert midbar" is related to "medaber", which
means "to speak.” The desert is a
place so seemingly silent, and yet Hashem knows that it says so much. We need
to take time to listen, in order to hear its silent voice that pierces the
soul.
May we merit aligning ourselves to become the perfect vessel for Hashem’s Torah to flow through us!
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum
Parasha Meditation Bamidbar
Bamidbar
1:1-4:20
Introduction:
Realigning Ourselves with Our Fellow
Jews and the Torah
The Shabbat preceding Shavuot the Jews of
the Diaspora reconnect with Israel in the Parasha reading. In the spirit
of Shavuot, we always begin the Book of Bamidbar together in unison prior
to receiving the Torah. In Parashat Bamidar the position of the twelve
tribes surrounding the Holy Ark with the Torah is delineated.[1]
In preparation to receiving the Torah on Shavuot we all need to realign our
position in relationship with our fellow Jews and with our holy Torah; keeping
in mind that the Torah must always remain the center of our lives.
Humility
Hashem gave the Torah on Mount Sinai because
it humbled itself saying: “I am lowly.” Therefore, Hashem elevated this
mountain by giving the Torah upon it.[2]
This teaches us that the only way to receive the Torah is through humility,
symbolized in the lowly Mount Sinai. Entering the bare wilderness without even
trees and flowers engenders humility. Experiencing the simplicity of
nothingness, but infinite sand is reflected in our psyche, washing away our
extraneous attachments and arrogance. It was fitting that the Giving of the Torah
took place in no-man’s-land amidst the stark desolation of the Wilderness. Likewise,
no-one can take ownership on the Torah. Unlike the Crown of Kingdom, and Kehuna
(Priesthood),[3]
the Crown of Torah is free for all to take. It enters the open hearts of those
who are not too full of themselves to make a space for the Torah to enter.
In the Wilderness
הָמִדְבַּר מְדַבֵּר – Hamidbar medaber – The wilderness speaks – When we
enter the vast open empty space of the wilderness, we are able to hear the
sound of silence. Without the humdrum distractions of technical devices,
mundane chores that need to get done, the constant background noises of cars
driving by, we can turn inwards to the Divine voice within, and re-evaluate who
we really are.
In this week’s Parasha, the Israelites are counted. The word described for how each of the Israelite presented himself before Moshe prior to the census is unusual:
ספר במדבר פרק א:יח- וְאֵת כָּל הָעֵדָה הִקְהִילוּ בְּאֶחָד לַחֹדֶשׁ הַשֵּׁנִי וַיִּתְיַלְדוּ עַל מִשְׁפְּחֹתָם לְבֵית אֲבֹתָם בְּמִסְפַּר שֵׁמוֹת מִבֶּן עֶשְׂרִים שָׁנָה וָמַעְלָה לְגֻלְגְּלֹתָם.
“All the congregation assembled together on the first day of the second month, (וַיִּתְיַלְדוּ – veyitvaldu), and they declared their pedigrees after their families, by their fathers’ houses, according to the number of names, from twenty years old and upward, by their polls.”[4]
Rabbi Yisroel Sisskind notices the special meaning of the word the word (וַיִּתְיַלְדוּ – veyitvaldu), which appears only once in all of the Tanach (Pentateuch). Literally this word means that the Israelites gave birth to themselves. Yet, Rashi explains that “they accounted for and gave bona fides for their genealogical descent, thereby proving their right to claim membership in a particular tribe.”[5] Rabbi Sisskind asks, why use such a unique form of the verb “to give birth to oneself” as a way of saying “they presented their family records”? It is possible that by researching our family tree and realigning ourselves with our ancestors we can become aware of our source and who we really are. This is similar to giving birth to ourselves.
If possible, it is beneficial to practice this
meditation in nature, optimally in the actual desert, which probably most of us
are unable at this point.
Make yourself comfortable on your cushion or
chair, (or in the sand) close your eyes and take several very deep breaths. Try
to empty yourself completely with every exhalation. Allow all the background
noise to pass through you, and imagine now that you are walking in the
wilderness. All around you is only sand and bare mountains. You are all alone
as you face the emptiness of the void. Allow this emptiness and space enter
into you, and become aware of all the superfluous items you are holding on to.
Imagining digging a deep hole, deeper and deeper, big enough to bury everything
you no longer have any use for. You may enter into this imaginary hole anything
you don’t need, be it physical, emotional or spiritual. Make sure you enter all
your arrogance into this hole. Notice how liberated you feel without it.
Imagine emptying your heart from resentment, jealousy, anger and hatred. Place
your hands near your heart without touching and feel the warmth emanating from
it. Your heart is now ready to be reborn and infused with the holiness of
Torah. Imagine the smallest letter of י – yud inside
of your heart. This is the letter of wisdom and beginning. Following the yud,
appears theל – lamed, which means teaching. Hashem’s
Torah teachings enter you, as you are reborn. Now visualize how the lamed
extending itself to give its teaching over to the letter ד – dalet, which
is turning its back as it receives lamed’s teachings. This symbolizes
how children turn away from their parents, as they receive their teachings, in
order to forge their own personal path. Dalet can also mean a door.
Imagine the door of your heart opening, and through it walks your mother and
father, they each give you a gift. Behind your parents their mother and father
walk in with a special gift for you. Behind each of your grandparents, all your
four sets of great grandparents walk through the door, each with a gift for
you. Keep visualizing all their mothers and fathers for as far back as you are
able to imagine. Try to fathom the infinite mothers and fathers it took to
create you, with your particular gifts, talents and character-traits. Feel
thankful and centered in yourself and enjoy the gift of being you! When you are
ready you may open your eyes and face the world.
Shavuot is called in the Torah “Day of the
First Fruits.”[6] This
is a time when the fruits are beginning to ripen on the trees in Eretz
Yisrael. Likewise, at this time, after having matured emotionally and
spiritually through the counting of the Omer, we ripen into what we are meant
to be, becoming reborn as who we really are.
[1] Bamidbar 2:2.
[2] Midrash Rabah, Bamidbar 13:3.
[3] The Kingdom is inherited from the house of
David, and Kehuna from Aharon the Kohen.
[4] Bamidbar 1:18.
[5] Rashi ibid.
[6] Bamidbar 28:26.
No comments:
Post a Comment