Ask the Rebbetzin - Parashat Shemini
Dear Rebbetzin,
I really want to keep the mitzvah of family purity, but
where I live there is no ritual bath. The closest mikvah is 2000 km away, which
would take about 25 hours to drive by car. What would be a solution? Perhaps I
could use the ocean or a lake, as a mikvah since I don’t have a regular
mikvah available. How would that work?
Do you just dip in and say a blessing?
Maya Waternov (name changed)
Dear Maya,
It is wonderful that you are so dedicated to keep the laws
of family purity in spite of the fact that you live far from a Jewish community
with a proper mikvah. Throughout Jewish history, women have gone into great
trouble in order to keep the mitzvah of family purity, sometimes even at the
risk of their very lives. Using the Mikvah is so essential as it our primary
connection with the Garden of Eden. All the water in the world ultimately has
its root in the river that emerged from Eden (Bechorot 55a, Malbim, Bereishit
2:10). This river is the spiritual source of all water. After Adam was driven
out of Eden, he repented by sitting by this river in order to maintain a link
with the Garden (Pirkey d’Rabbi Eliezer 20). The word מִקְוֵה/Mikvah has the same letters asקוֹמָה /Komah – the Hebrew
word from rising or standing tall. Through the Mikvah we can rise from our
fallen state, and reestablish a link with our perfected state in Eden. This
explains why the Mikvah must be linked to a natural water source. The most
primal forms of mikvaot are the natural bodies of water such as oceans, rivers, wells, and spring-fed lakes.
They have the power to purify. However, these waters may be inaccessible or
dangerous, not to mention the problems of rough weather and lack of privacy. Therefore, wherever a proper mikvah is available
that is certainly preferred. But what can you do if there isn’t a proper mikvah
in your neighborhood?
Safety Concerns for
Using the Ocean as a Mikvah
ספר ויקרא פרק יא (לו) אַךְ
מַעְיָן וּבוֹר מִקְוֵה מַיִם יִהְיֶה טָהוֹר וְנֹגֵעַ בְּנִבְלָתָם יִטְמָא:
“Nevertheless
a spring or a cistern, in which water is collected shall be pure, but whoever
touches such a carcass within it shall be impure (Vayikra 11:36).
The construction of a mikvah is very complex, and there is
an entire tractate of the Mishnah called Mikvaot devoted to this topic. As
we learn in Parashat Shemini, a mikvah must be connected to a natural
spring, or a natural well, or be connected to a cistern of rainwater (Mikvaot
7:1). Oceans qualify for they are considered springs, as do rivers that do not
originate from rainwater. If you’re using a river or spring that’s made up
mainly of rainwater, you need to find a part of the water that is not moving.
The water also needs to be deep enough for you to immerse your whole body at
once. Immersing in the mikvah for family purity must ideally be done at
night. Deep oceans with strong currents can be dangerous. If you can’t swim, an
ocean mikvah is not for you. Make sure that whatever body of water you’re using
is safe, and if necessary find out about the schedule of the tides so you won’t
be suddenly caught at high tide. You also need to ensure the area is well lit
and safe at night, at the very least you need to bring strong flashlights. If
the area is not safe at night but is safe during the day, some rabbinic
authorities allow for immersion during the day. This would be a good thing to
ask your rabbi.
How to Overcome the
Challenges of Using the Ocean as a Mikvah
There are several challenges when using the ocean as a
mikvah:
1. There is no mikvah attendant to watch and check that you
are completely immersed in the water for each dunk.
2. There is no adjacent room to bathe and remove everything
separating you from the water.
3. You have to make sure no man will see you going naked
into the ocean.
4. There is sometimes wind that may tangle the hair.
I highly recommend to
bring a girlfriend (preferably someone married) who will act as your mikvah
‘lady’ at the ocean. This woman should be Jewish and over the age of 12 (the age
that constitutes adulthood for women according to Jewish law). Some rabbinic
authorities allow your husband to fill this role, if no woman is available.
Prior to immersing, your mikvah attendant needs to check you as well as can be done with a flashlight,
to ensure that there is nothing separating between you and the water, like
fallen hair etc. She also needs to ensure that you are immersing deeply enough
in the water so that your entire body including the top of your head and hair
are covered when you dunk. This is especially vital if you have
long hair, some of which may float above the water. You will need to go to a beach that is not populated
and it needs to be dark. It may be permissible to dunk in the water with a very
lose-fitting dress, if you cannot be sure that there won’t be any men on the
beach who may see you. This again is a question for your rabbi.
Guidelines for Preparing Yourself for Ritual Immersion
On your mikvah night, prepare as you usually do. Soak in a luscious bath (not a
shower) for at least half an hour to soften up any kind of dirt, and dead skin.
Make sure to remove all jewelry, hair
bands, elastics, pins, false teeth, eyelashes, temporary dental fillings, nail
polish, contact lenses, and dry scab on old wounds. Wash your entire body and
hair well with soap and shampoo. Do not use conditioner, as it will leave a
coating on your hair. Clean your ears with a cue-tip. Brush and comb your hair
until the comb passes through your hair easily to ensure there are no knots.
Comb your pubic hair, the hair in your armpits and even your eyebrows. Cut your fingernails and toenails. After you cut
your fingernails, they should not be visible above the tips of your fingers
when you turn your hands towards your face. If long fingernails are part of
your everyday look, make sure they are equally long and smooth. Clean your
fingernails well. Brush your teeth and use dental floss. The time of
preparation varies from person to person.
Usually it takes about one hour, but for some people it can take almost
two hours.
Ocean Immersion
Using the ocean as a mikvah is not as romantic as it sounds.
I recommend finding out where there is a safe and quiet area with calm water.
Depending on the privacy of the area you’re using, you may want to wear a long
robe to get into the water. Then, when you’ve gotten to a point where the water
is deep enough you can take off your robe under water and hand it to your
helper. Before you dunk, shake off any sand or mud that may have clung to the
bottom of your feet (you may want to walk out in flip-flops and take them off
just before you dunk). Remember to choose a spot that is light enough that your
helper can see that you’ve completely immersed.
Go out into the water wearing your robe right before sunset.
Swim around and get comfortable for a little while. Then right after the sun
sets, take off your dress and dunk, while your friend is right by you to
watch. When your head emerges from the water say the following blessing with
full intention:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר
קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הַטְּבִילָה:
Baruch ata Ado-nai
Elo-heinu melech haolam asher kideshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al hatevila
Blessed are You O Hashem
our G-d, King of the universe, Who has made us holy with His commandments and
commanded us to immerse.
Transformation through Water
Using a Mikvah is one of
the main factors distinguishing a Jew from non-Jew. A Mikvah is actually more
important than synagogue. A congregation that does not have its own Mikvah does
not even have the halachic status of a community. The Mikvah represents womb.
The world’s most primary state was water: “The spirit of G-d was hovering over
the water” (Bereishit 1:2). Thus the water is the womb of creation.
Emerging from a Mikvah is very much like a process of rebirth. “A convert who
embraces Judaism is like a newborn child” (Yevamot 22a). The convert’s
first step into Judaism involves immersing in a Mikvah. The consecration of
Aaron and his sons to become Kohanim involved immersion in a Mikvah. Thus, the
Mikvah facilitates a change of status – an elevation from one state to another.
Water is the essence of impermanence, while ego is the essence of permanence.
When dunking in the Mikvah, we place ourselves in the state of non-existence
and non-life. Since breath is the essence of life, submerging in a Mikvah
momentarily without being able to breath, makes us enter the realm of the
non-living, to emerge like one reborn.
Mikvah can’t be a vessel or tub but must be built directly in the
ground, for in a sense, the Mikvah also represents the grave. We immerse
temporarily into a state of nonliving, so that we emerge resurrected with new
status. In Hebrew, the word קֶבֶר/Kever
means both womb and grave. Both are
endpoints in the cycle of life. Our sages liken a person who immerses in the
Mikvah to seeds planted in the ground. The seeds return to their source where
they can once again begin the cycle of growth.
Hashem is Our Ultimate Mikvah
משנה מסכת יומא פרק ח משנה ט
מַר רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא, אַשְׁרֵיכֶם יִשְׂרָאֵל, לִפְנֵי מִי אַתֶּם
מִטַּהֲרִין, וּמִי מְטַהֵר אֶתְכֶם, אֲבִיכֶם שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר,
(יחזקאל לו) וְזָרַקְתִּי עֲלֵיכֶם מַיִם טְהוֹרִים וּטְהַרְתֶּם. וְאוֹמֵר,
(ירמיה יז) מִקְוֵה יִשְׂרָאֵל ה’, מַה מִּקְוֶה מְטַהֵר אֶת הַטְּמֵאִים, אַף
הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מְטַהֵר אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל:
Rabbi Akiva said, “Happy
are you, Israel. Before whom do you purify yourselves? Who purifies you? Your
Father in heaven!” It is thus written, “I will sprinkle pure water upon you,
and you shall be pure” (Yechezkiel 36:25).
It also states, “G-d,
Hashem is the Mikvah of Israel” (Yirmeyahu 14:8). Just as the Mikvah
purifies the impure, so does G-d purify Israel (Mishna Yoma 8:9). What
does it mean that G-d is Israel’s Mikvah? The word מקוה/Mikvah is
related to the word תקוה/tikvah – hope. The Mikvah gives us
the ability to transcend the bonds of time and become reborn as a new person.
Hashem is our Mikvah and hope for the perfected future. When we hope that a
future event will happen, we free ourselves from the limitations of time. G-d
is our ultimate Mikvah, which extends beyond time. His unity gathers past and
future into the present moment. The word Mikvah literally means gathering. When
we dunk into the cleansing waters of the Mikvah, let’s keep up our hope in
Hashem, Who purifies us. Then we can truly become transformed and let all our
past wrongdoings dissolve into the expiating waters of the Mikvah by our
resolve to emerge pure and reborn.