Dear Rebbetzin,
We hear so much about the
seriousness of the sin of lashon hara (evil speech). Is it true that
through speaking lashon hara one may transgress 31 commandments: 14
positive and 17 negative? I find it
really hard to never speak badly about others, but afterwards I feel guilty
about transgressing so many Torah prohibitions. Can you please share some Torah
nuggets with me that will strengthen me in guarding my tongue?
Devorah
Harrington (name changed)
Dear
Devorah,
Yom Atzmaut (Independence Day) Hike |
The Tool
of Our Craft
Whereas
Bilam’s tool was supposed to be his sword (Bamidbar 31:8), the distinctive
tool of the Jewish people is our power of speech. Rashi explains that Bilam
came against Israel exchanging his craft (the sword) for their craft (the
mouth) – for Israel conquers only through prayer and petition… However, the
craft of the gentiles is the sword, as it is states, “By your sword you shall
live” (Bereishit 27:40), (Rashi, Bamidbar 22:23). The power of speech was given to the Jewish people, to
encounter the awe-inspiring King of Kings through Torah and Tefilah to
bless, thank, praise and glorify Him. Just
as an artisan is unable to produce vessels worthy of the king without
his special craftsman’s tools, or with broken and destroyed tools, likewise, we
are unable to produce beautiful words of Torah and Tefilah with a mouth and
tongue that has been defiled through evil speech. Only the artisan, whose tools
are perfect and good, properly sharpened and shined, will be able to produce
arts and crafts of the highest caliber. Through words of holiness, which we
speak in this world before Hashem, we can create upper worlds as well as holy
angels, who will afterwards become advocates for our souls. These higher
worlds, created by means of Torah and Mitzvot, are dependent on the power of
speech with which Hashem created the world. Hashem made us partners with Him in
the continuous creation of the worlds through our power of speech. This is our
great craftsman’s tool, through which we may can build heaven and earth, as it
states, “I
have put my words in your mouth, and I have covered you in the shadow of my
hand, that I may plant the heavens, and lay the foundations of the earth and
say to Zion, you are my people” (Yesha’yahu 51:16). (The Chafetz Chaim, The Gate of Commemoration,
Chapter 10, the greatness of Guarding the Tongue through which one sanctifies
speech).
Rather
than Judging Others, Find the Same Shortcoming in Yourself and Repent
In order to avoid evil
speech we need to accustom ourselves to stop judging others unfavorably. Often
when we notice misgivings in others, it is because we ourselves have a share in
this same shortcoming. If it happened that we saw or heard about someone else’s
sin, we need to realize that we may have a tinge of that sin ourselves. This
should motivate us to rectify ourselves. Scripture states that the remedy for
this is to “guard the tongue.” Although it is really hard to overcome the urge
to speak lashon hara as it states in the Talmud, “We all fall prey to a
tinge of lashon hara” (Baba Batra 165a). Still, we need work on
ourselves, and rather than disparage the other person, realize that Hashem made
us see and notice this sin in order to remove ourselves from the evil and
rectify ourselves to become good. Through this repentance, also the sinner will
repent, because through unifying with him, we can include him in our
repentance, since we are all one person. Then we will cause him to be included
in “and do good” that he will transform the evil to good and achieve the
character trait of “seek peace and pursue it” (Tehillim 34:15);
(Toldot Ya’acov Yosef, in the name of the Ba’al Shem Tov, Parashat Lech
Lecha). Even if we already began to speak lashon hara and we feel
that everything is lost, just as when we begin to eat cookies, we may feel we
that it is too late to stop. This is not so. For every single word that we
could have added but avoided, a supernal light is created. This is even so if
we already spoke 100 words of lashon hara, but overcame the urge to
speak one more word. The Vilna Gaon
teaches, “Every single moment a person averts his mouth he merits the hidden
light, which is so great that no angel or any creature can even imagine.”
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