Parashat Noach: Preserving the Divine Image - How Does Modesty Preserve the Dignity of Parents and Mentors?

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Parashat Noach: Preserving the Divine Image 

How Does Modesty Preserve the Dignity of Parents and Mentors?

Why Do I Make an Effort to Keep My Body Covered in Front of My Students?

I participate weekly in our Meditative Movement classes at Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin. These classes offer a precious opportunity to step away from words and connect with Hashem through movement, breathing, and awareness of our bodies. Although we are only women exercising together in the yurt, and I leave the students free to wear shorts, tank tops, or whatever is comfortable for them, I make a conscious effort to keep my own body covered in their presence. On Tuesdays, I choose a long tunic, skirt, and leggings so that I can move freely while remaining modestly dressed. When we reach the balancing exercises and my skirt gets in the way, I quietly remove it, knowing that my tunic and leggings still provide substantial coverage.

Beyond general modesty and cultivating the awareness that we are always walking before the King of Kings, I am mindful of the special relationship between a Torah teacher and her students. Closeness and warmth are essential to teaching, yet so are the boundaries that preserve respect. Our Sages teach that a son should not bathe together with his father while unclothed, and that a student should not bathe with his Torah teacher unless the teacher needs his assistance (Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 51a). Although our movement class is a different situation, these teachings deepen my sensitivity to how I present myself before my students. 

In many Jewish communities, men immerse in a mikvah every Friday as a minhag (custom) in honor of Shabbat. I remember my sons taking care to wait until their father returned from the mikvah before going themselves. This quiet consideration expressed their respect for him without diminishing the warmth of their relationship. 

The fifth commandment, “Honor your father and mother…” (Shemot 20:12), calls us to look beyond our parents’ physical presence and recognize the Divine image within them. A parent or teacher is human, with a body, vulnerabilities, and imperfections. Honor and respect involve focusing on a person’s Divine image, which shines through the face and expresses their inner kedusha. Seeing the naked body of a parent or teacher can shift our attention from that spiritual presence to their physical being, diminishing the reverence with which we regard them. Therefore, when I keep my body covered before my students, I seek to preserve their awareness of the Divine image within me and carry myself with the dignity appropriate to the Torah I hope to impart.

Why is it Important to Take the First Step to Protect Our Family’s Dignity?

The Torah gives us a model for how to respond when a parent or mentor becomes exposed. In Parashat Noach, Cham’s response to his father’s nakedness contrasts with Shem and Yefet’s careful covering of him. When a parent or someone we respect behaves in an embarrassing way, we may feel disappointed, uncomfortable, or unsure how to respond. We can draw further attention to the incident by discussing it with others, or we can quietly help the person regain their dignity. Shem and Yefet did more than refrain from mocking their father. They responded to his exposed state with practical care, covering him with a garment.

בראשית פרק ט פסוק כג וַיִּקַּח שֵׁם וָיֶפֶת אֶת־הַשִּׂמְלָה וַיָּשִׂימוּ עַל־שְׁכֶם שְׁנֵיהֶם וַיֵּלְכוּ אֲחֹרַנִּית וַיְכַסּוּ אֵת עֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם וּפְנֵיהֶם אֲחֹרַנִּית וְעֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם לֹא רָאוּ:

“Shem and Yefet took the garment, placed it on both their shoulders, and walked backward to cover their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father’s nakedness” (Bereishit 9:23).

Why does the Torah mention Shem before Yefet, even though Yefet was older as the Torah emphasizes “the brother of Yefet the elder” (Bereishit 10:21)? Shem showed greater diligence in fulfilling the mitzvah and therefore received the greater blessing (Bechor Shor, Bereishit 9:23). Rashi notices a further indication of Shem’s initiative in the word וַיִּקַּח/vayikach – “he took.” The Torah uses the singular rather than וַיִּקְחוּ/vayikchu – ‘they took’ to teach that Shem exerted himself more in the mitzvah (Rashi, Bereishit 9:23). Shem did not wait for his older brother to take responsibility. His father needed help, and he took the first step.

Although Shem took the initiative, both brothers shared equally in covering their father (Pesikta Zutarta, Bereishit 9:23). Each brother placed part of the garment on his own shoulder (Ibn Ezra, Bereishit 9:23). This teaches us that our first step can inspire others to help. Instead of drawing someone into a conversation about a family member’s embarrassing behavior, we can invite them to join us in offering practical support.

How Can We Help Without Focusing on Another Person’s Shame?

Shem and Yefet’s care in covering their father finds an echo in the halachic teachings about preserving respect for parents and Torah teachers. Following Rambam, Shulchan Aruch rules that a student should not enter a bathhouse with his Torah teacher unless the teacher needs his assistance (Rambam, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:16; Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 242:16). Rema clarifies that the restrictions concerning one’s teacher and father apply when nakedness is exposed; when the private parts are covered, entering together is permitted.

Why does the Torah repeat that Shem and Yefet’s faces were turned backward? Having already told us that they walked backward, would we not understand that they avoided seeing their father’s nakedness? Rashi explains that even when they came close and needed to turn their bodies to cover him, they kept their faces turned away (Rashi, Bereishit 9:23). Their concern for his dignity continued through the act of helping. They did not use their good deed as permission to look. 

Rabbi Ovadia Sforno adds a tender insight: even while covering their father, when turning toward him might have seemed necessary, they avoided looking so that they would not add to their own sorrow (Sforno, Bereishit 9:23). Shem and Yefet attended to his need without unnecessarily taking in a distressing sight. This suggests a delicate balance in human relationships. We need enough understanding to offer appropriate help, but we do not always need to know every painful or embarrassing detail. When a parent, spouse, or friend is struggling, concern can easily become curiosity. Shem and Yefet teach us to ask: What do I need to know to help, and what can I leave respectfully unseen?

Rabbi Moshe Alshich deepens this teaching by asking why the brothers walked backward rather than simply approaching with their eyes closed. He explains that their faces bore the holiness of the Divine image. They did not want even their faces turned toward their father’s nakedness, despite having their eyes shut (Alshich, Bereishit 9:23). Their approach reflected an awareness of the holiness within themselves. We, too, can bring that awareness into moments when another person’s vulnerability is placed before us.

Their restraint protected both their father’s dignity and the holiness of their own encounter with him. Applied to our relationships, perhaps this means that respect involves more than withholding a hurtful comment. It also shapes the way we regard others. We can acknowledge a weakness without allowing it to become the defining image we carry of that person.

What Does Another Person’s Weakness Reveal About Our Own?

The words “they did not see their father’s nakedness” can also teach us about how we perceive another person’s shortcomings. Cham responded to his father’s vulnerability with disgrace rather than care. Shem and Yefet, by contrast, took steps to protect his dignity without dwelling on his shame.

They recognized what needed their attention without making his failing the focus of their gaze.
The Ba’al Shem Tov’s teaching that another person can serve as our mirror invites us to examine our response when we notice a fault. Although this does not necessarily mean that we have committed the same act, we may have a trace of that transgression, or something corresponding to it, within ourselves. For example, witnessing idolatry may call our attention to our own anger, which our Sages compare to idolatry (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 105b). We are shown the failing from Heaven so that we will examine ourselves and do teshuvah (Ba’al Shem Tov al HaTorah, Bereishit §129, citing Rav Yeivi, Tehillim 22).

Yet we must distinguish between seeing a flaw that calls for self-examination and recognizing a need that calls us to help the other person. If our attention centers on judging the person, the encounter calls us to look inward. If our attention centers on what we can do to help, the encounter becomes an opportunity to act. Shem and Yefet understood that their father needed covering; they did not dwell on his disgrace (Likkutei Sichot, vol. 10, pp. 24–29, as presented in “To See or Not To See”).

This gives us a practical question to carry into our relationships: Why am I continuing to think about this person’s weakness? Perhaps there is something within myself that needs attention. Perhaps there is something I can do for them. We need not pretend that the difficulty does not exist. Like Shem and Yefet, we can recognize what needs to be covered and repaired while refusing to make another person’s failing the focus of our gaze.

Can One Act of Respect Become a Legacy for Generations?

The garment that Shem and Yefet carried became more than a covering for one vulnerable father. An act performed quietly within a family can have consequences far beyond what we can imagine. Hashem does not withhold the reward of any creature, even across many generations (Pesikta Zutarta, Bereishit 9:23). Because Shem exerted himself in this mitzvah, his descendants merited the tallit of tzitzit. Yefet’s descendants merited burial, another form of dignified covering (Rashi, Bereishit 9:23). The Kli Yakar asks why tzitzit is also a reward for Avraham’s refusal to accept even “a thread or a shoe strap” (Babylonian Talmud, Chullin 89a), when Shem had already earned this reward for his descendants. He explains that Shem’s act earned the garment, while Avraham’s act earned the thread. Before a person can attach tzitzit, Hashem must first provide the garment to which they can be attached (Kli Yakar, Bereishit 9:23).
There is something beautiful in this connection: the garment used to protect a father’s dignity becomes the dignified garment of tzitzit through which his descendants serve Hashem. Covering Noach’s nakedness is also related to the power of tzitzit to guard against forbidden sexual behavior. The covering and its reward both express restraint and the preservation of proper boundaries (Kli Yakar, Bereishit 9:23). We can also understand this as a lesson about the atmosphere we create in our homes. When children see us respond to another person’s embarrassing moment with discretion and practical kindness, they learn how to treat vulnerability. When we resist repeating a humiliating story, offer help discreetly, or preserve respect for a parent despite a painful failing, we pass on a way of relating. We may never know how far that example will travel, but we can choose to leave a legacy of kindness and respect. Whether in a movement class, a family affair, or a moment of another person’s vulnerability, the care we take to honor the Divine image can become a quiet lesson in dignity for generations to come.

The Month of Elul and Rectifying Homosexuality

Return to the Image of G-d – Male & Female Relationship

The month of Elul is all about Teshuvah (repentance). It literally means return to our original purpose of creation. The Torah introduces the purpose of humanity at the very beginning of Genesis, where it describes how Hashem created the first human being(s) in His image: “G-d created the human being in His image, in the image of G-d He created him, male and female He created them” (Bereishit 1:27). The very next Torah verse directs us to be fruitful and multiply (Ibid. 28). Doing Teshuvah during the month of Elul means returning to become a true image of G-d. But what does it mean to be an image of G-d? The Shelah Hakodesh explains that Adam was created in the image of G-d, and only Israel is called Adam (Yechezkiel 34:31, Baba Metzia 114b). Therefore, ten fingers were imprinted within him, corresponding to the ten Sefirot… (Shelah Hakodesh, Parashat V’zot Haberacha, Ohr 3). Just as Hashem is manifested through his Sefirot, so is Israel – the true Adam – created in G-d’s image, a reflection of these Sefirot. The Sefirot on the right branch of the Tree of Life are male, whereas the Sefirot on the left branch are female. The Image of G-d, therefore, includes both male and female attributes, and its highest expression is reflected in the proper relationship between male and female. A further support for this principle is the very first Divine word to the newly created man and woman, “be fruitful and multiply.” In the second creation account, the Torah describes the creation of the first woman. Immediately after her creation, we are told, “Therefore, a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh” (Bereishit 2:24).

The Highest Expression of Free Choice: Overcoming the Desire for Homosexuality

Today, unfortunately, various human rights movements adhere to the belief that the highest expression of humanism is the right to exercise freedom of choice in every aspect of life, including the right to establish same sex marriages. I believe a law was recently passed in Israel to legalize such marriages. The importance of Free Choice cannot be emphasized enough in Judaism. Yet, there are very different approaches to defining what Free Choice entails. In the secular world, Free Choice is defined as the lack of restrictions. Allowing our impulses and desires to act, however, we feel like without restrictions, as long as we don’t hurt anyone else, is the secular definition of the highest expression of Free Choice. However, the delineation of “when it’s not hurting anyone else” is not clear-cut and may be open to interpretation. Is publicly exposing homosexual relationships not a harmful example for others, especially children? In the Torah, we are not only prohibited from hurting others, but we are furthermore forbidden to hurt ourselves. Therefore, suicide is considered a primary transgression in the Torah. I would venture to say that violating our Divine image by homosexual relationships can be compared to spiritual suicide. If we make a personal choice to purposely go against reflecting our Image of G-d in a fruitful male/female relationship, then what kind of spiritual meaning does our life serve? The Torah’s definition of Free Choice is diametrically opposed to that of the secular world. Rather than giving in to our desires and impulses, the Torah calls us to elevate ourselves to reflect our Divine Image by overcoming fruitless desires. Judaism credits the power of our Free Choice with the ability to make the right choices even when it goes against our natural inborn instincts. Thus, the definitions of Free Choice from the secular and Torah perspectives clash through their respective views on homosexuality. According to the secular view, homosexuality is an expression of exercising one’s Free Choice by following one’s own desires without giving in to religious and or social pressure. According to the Torah, Free Choice empowers every person with the ability to overcome even a natural, hormonal, inborn tendency and physical desire towards homosexuality by abstaining from committing such an act for the sake of spiritual growth and perfection.

Remaking Ourselves in Tune with the Purpose of Creation

The ‘sense’ associated with the Month of Elul is עֲשִֹיָּה/asiyah – ‘action’ or ‘making.’ The Torah teaches us, וּשְׁמַרְתֶּם מִצְוֹתַי וַעֲשִׂיתֶם אֹתָם – “Keep the mitzvot and do them” (Vayikra 22:31). B’nei Yissaschar asks, why do we need to be told to both keep and do the mitzvot? He further wonders why it doesn’t simply state, “Keep and do the mitzvot,” but  rather, “Keep the mitzvot and do them.” He explains that the answer lies in the Hebrew word for ‘do them’ which can also mean ‘make them’ or – with a slight change of vowels – ‘make themselves.’  The Midrash teaches that when we keep the mitzvot, it is considered as if we made ourselves (Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 35:7). Similarly, when we do Teshuvah, Hashem considers it as if we became a new creation (Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 30:3). Since the Month of Elul is the month of Teshuvah, and becoming a ba’al teshuvah (master of return) is considered as a new creation, as if we had remade ourselves. Therefore, the ‘sense’ of action/making is especially fitting for this month (B’nei Yissaschar Article for the Month of Elul 1:6) So the power of Teshuvah to change ourselves knows no bounds. As part of the ultimate Free Choice, we have the ability to make ourselves anew, to become a completely altered and new person in tune with our purpose of creation. In light of this principle, we can now understand that the only appropriate answer to the question, ‘What is Judaism’s view of the Jewish homosexual?’ is, ‘There is no such individual’ (Homosexuality and Judaism, Rabbi Barry Freundel, quoting M.H. Spero, ‘Homosexuality: Clinical and Ethical Challenges,’ in Judaism and Psychology: Halachic Perspectives, Yeshiva University, 1980). Within Talmudic and Halachic responsa, there is no term to define a homosexual Jew. The modern transliteration of homosexual into Hebrew only proves the point that no term exists. The homosexual is never listed among the recognized categories of Jewish society – Kohen, Levi, woman, slave, king, deaf, mute, and so on. The only category that includes the Jewish homosexual is מומר לתיאבון/mumar l’teiavon (one whose desires put him in opposition to Torah law). Thus, according to the Torah, ‘homosexual’ is a term that is limited to the description of an activity, as opposed to a term that describes a minority group. Therefore, we must not ostracize a person who practices homosexuality any more than we would shun any other Jew who breaks Shabbat or eats non-kosher. “Don’t judge your friend until you arrive at his place” (Pirkey Avot 2:4). We do not have any inkling of the difficult tests this person is up against, and which genetic, social, and traumatic experiences caused his or her sexual orientation. Therefore, we must show compassion and encourage such an individual to harness the power of Free Choice to redirect his or her desires, thereby remaking themselves anew.

Virgo and the Question of Female Homosexuality

The astrological sign of the month of Elul, Virgo, is connected with the purity of repentance – remaking ourselves into a new creation. The Jewish congregation is likened to a virgin, untouched and pure. We are continually endeared to Hashem as if for the very first time. The sexual purity with which the constellation of Virgo is associated alludes to the importance of focusing on sexual purity during our Teshuvah throughout the month of Elul. It has been brought to my attention that many Jewish women, even those who belong to the Torah camp, practice homosexuality occasionally. Female homosexuality is often thought not to be explicitly forbidden by the Torah. Perhaps this mistaken conclusion arises because there is no specific prohibition for female homosexuality the way the Torah explicitly forbids male homosexuality, “You shall not lie with a man, the way of lying with a woman; it is an abomination” (Vayikra 18:22).  In addition, female homosexuality does not entail emission and wasting of seed which has the ability to create new life. Thirdly, it does not entail any actual consummation of the sexual act of becoming “one flesh” as does male homosexuality. Nevertheless, Rambam rules unequivocally that lesbianism is forbidden by the Torah (D’oraita): “Lesbian relations are forbidden. This is מִדַּרְכֵי מִצְרַיִם/midarchei Mitzrayim –‘the conduct of Egypt’ which we were warned against, as [Vayikra 18:3] states: “Do not follow the conduct of Egypt.” Our Sages said, What would they do? A man would marry a man, a woman would marry a woman, and a woman would marry two men. Although this conduct is forbidden, [by Scriptural Law, the verse is not merely cited as support for a Rabbinic injunction], lashes are not given for it, for it is not a specific prohibition, since it doesn’t involve intercourse. Therefore, such women are not forbidden to marry a Kohen as zonot (prostitutes), nor does a woman become prohibited to her husband because of this, for this is not considered harlotry. It is, however, appropriate to give them lashes for rebellious conduct because they performed a transgression. A man should take precautions with his wife concerning this matter and should prevent women who are known to engage in such practices from visiting her and her from visiting them” (Rambam, Mishnah Torah, the Laws of Forbidden Sexuality, Chapter 21, Halacha 8). The Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 20:2) reiterates Rambam’s ruling almost word for word.

Returning to the Purpose of Our Creation

To conclude, we are placed in this world to exercise our Free Choice – to live as spiritual beings fulfilling the will of our Creator, rather than distorting the Torah to justify an inability to control physical desires. Hashem never gives a mitzvah that is beyond the ability of an individual to fulfill. Whatever one’s sexual orientation, no one is trapped in a living prison without exit or key. Contrary to the bombardment of the media promulgating gays’ rights,  a recent study reported a success rate of more than 70% for redirecting homosexual orientation (Schwartz, M.F. and Masters, W.H., “Masters and Johnson Treatment Program for Dissatisfied Homosexual Men.” American Journal of Psychiatry 141:2, February 1984, pp. 173-181. The study reported a success rate of 79% after one year and 71% after five years. This demonstrates that when we truly desire to live by the Torah, nothing is impossible. May we seize the opportunity of Elul to choose eternal life – to do Teshuvah, correct our ways, renew ourselves, and return to the purpose of our creation!