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Dear
Rebbetzin Chana Bracha,
I have a question. My
daughter made her own tallit for her Bat Mitzvah, and we have my grandfather’s tefillin
for her to wear as well. I believe it will be very meaningful for her. I wanted
to say something about the meaning of a woman wearing a tallit, but haven’t
really found anything. Can you give me some insight into this?
Doris Tallisman (name changed)
Doris Tallisman (name changed)
Dear Doris,
First
of all, mazal tov on your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. May she grow into a true
Eishet Chail (Woman of Valor)! I understand that your daughter is excited about
her tallit, that she made herself. Creativity by the Jewish woman is certainly
emphasized in the Torah, especially the crafts of weaving and spinning. I’m
sure you could find something nice to say about the importance of weaving for
Jewish women and their role in weaving the Temple curtains. King Solomon
praises the Woman of Valor for this skill as he writes: “She sets her hands to the distaff, and her palms hold
the spindle” (Proverbs 31:19). Your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah Parasha is Parashat
Re’eh which instructs women and girls to rejoice in the holidays: “You shall
rejoice in your festival, you and your son, your daughter, your servant, your
maidservant, the Levite, the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, that are
within your gates” (Devarim 16:14). The Oral Torah explains that women
rejoice by wearing new clothing and jewelry (Mishneh Torah, The Laws of
Holidays 6:18), so the topic of women’s garments ties in nicely. The
reason why you have not found any sources for a Jewish woman wearing a tallit
is because there are no sources for this in our tradition.
Time-bound Mitzvot that Women Must Not Perform
Women are exempt from
performing time-bound positive commandments (Babylonian Talmud, Kiddushin
29). The Talmud derives this principle from the commandment of tefillin, which
are considered ‘time-bound’ since they are not worn on Shabbat or holidays
(Ibid. 33b). Nevertheless, women observe many
time-bound mitzvot without being obligated, and they even get rewarded for such
mitzvot as hearing the Shofar and sitting in the Sukkah. Although women and children are not obligated to sit in
a Sukkah, it is still a mitzvah for each Jew to have his wife and children sit
in the Sukkah as by sitting in a Sukkah they earn eternal heavenly reward (Shulchan
Aruch 640:1; Ran, Rosh HaShana 33a). Women and children who sit in a
Sukkah merit the cleansing of their souls and receiving heavenly goodwill (Kaf
HaChaim 640:5). However, women do not have the custom of donning tallit and
tefillin. Why should these mitzvot be different? The Talmud records that
Michal, the daughter of King Saul, donned tefillin and the Rabbis did not
object (Eruvin 96a). Also Rashi’s daughters are said to have put on
tefillin. However, these are exceptions and there are various reasons why women
must refrain from this practice.
The Risk of Disgracing the Tefillin
There are generally no pitfalls when women take upon
themselves various time-bound mitzvot. However, this is not the case with
wearing tefillin. Donning tefillin requires a ‘clean body’ – that is – it is
forbidden to pass gas while wearing tefillin. Naturally, this does not happen
to women any more than to men, but since men are obligated in the mitzvah, they
may be more easily excused, as opposed to women who are exempt. Since no-one
today is on the level of Michal, Shaul’s daughter, who was in complete control
over her body, only a man, who has no choice regarding the mitzvah of donning
tefillin is permitted to take the risk of disgracing this mitzvah. This
explains why most Torah authorities agree that women should not don tefillin, (Shulchan
Aruch, OC 38:3; Aruch Hashulchan 38:6; Beit Yosef
38:3). Donning tefillin is a commandment, which women have not historically
practiced, and if women want to take it upon themselves, we object (Rabbi Moshe
Isserless, the Rem”a, Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 38:3).
No Cross-Dressing for Men and Women
Neither men
nor women are permitted to dress in a way that is customarily associated with
the other gender. Since a tallit is typically a male garment, women
may transgress a Torah prohibition by wearing it: “A man’s garment shall not be
on a woman, nor may a man wear a woman’s garment because whoever does these
[things] is an abomination to Hashem, your G-d” (Devarim 22:5). Rabbi
Yonatan ben Uziel’s translation of this Torah verse reads:
תרגום יונתן על דברים פרק כב פסוק ה לא יהיה גוליין דציצית ותפילין דהינון תקוני גבר על איתא
“A woman
should not wear Tzitzit and Tefilin which are male garments…” (Targum
Yonatan, Devarim 22:5).
The Strange Fire of Self-Centered Desire for Divine Service
I’m very proud of my
alumna student, Ahuva Gamliel, who wrote a beautiful article on the topic: Why I Don’t
Put On Tefillin. She describes how
she felt a strong desire to don tefillin when learning about their wonderful
mental, emotional, and physical health benefits. She was discouraged from this
mitzvah by the various rabbis with whom she consulted, yet, was not satisfied
with the reasons given for the prohibition of women donning tefillin. . Here is
an excerpt from her very well written article: “The sons of Aaron, the High
Priest, Nadav and Avihu, were great men driven by a deep desire for closeness
to G‑d. They were inspired to
serve G‑d and made an offering that
was not asked for and died. They were consumed by a fire – their passion –
because they did what they wanted instead of just doing what G‑d asked. This taught me that my great spiritual desire
to connect with G‑d was
in fact egotistical. It was about me, me, me. I wanted to put on tefillin as a
way of reaching my potential. I wanted to be closer to G‑d, and thought tefillin would take me there. But this
is not what G‑d asks
of me. My spiritual desire was, in fact, self-centered and not G‑d centered. I didn’t stop to think what would make G‑d happy.” Ahuva’s frank self-awareness is in tune with
the general halachic concern to refrain from a
particular activity that is deemed ostentatious. This rule applies
equally to men and women. It would be an act of religious arrogance (yuhara)
for women to wear tallit and
tefillin, from which she is exempt, since women do not regularly wear
such garments (Rabbi Moshe Isserles, the Rem”a, Shulchan Aruch, OC
17:2).
Male Oriented Antennas
On an inner
level, the mitzvot of tallit and tefillin are male oriented and entirely
unnecessary for a woman. The superior and inherent spiritual wisdom of women does not require time-bound religious imperatives
(Rabbi S.R. Hirsch, Vayikra 23:43). Ahuva Gamliel expands on this
concept in such a deep and personal way: “It is clear to see that tefillin are
unnecessary for me. It is as if I
already have an instant satellite connection, with the best reception possible while
thinking that putting an antenna on will help to beam me up. This thinking is
clearly flawed. The antenna in this case is redundant and will not do anything
for me. In fact, it may be detrimental, causing avoidable marital problems, G-d
forbid. This redundancy may be a chilul
Hashem (G-d forbid) because it is doing an act in vain, even if the
intentions are great, like Nadav and Avihu. While it must be greatly satisfying
to earn a relationship and close bond through prayer, actions, and pure
intentions, I can rejoice and celebrate that I don’t have to work as hard for
that reality. I was born with a direct connection and the ability to be G-d
like through the creation of children (G-d Willing soon). Just like G-d created
a space for humanity to exist and to bestow His love upon them, I, too, have
this ability through procreation. I have been gifted with the ability of
co-creating with G-d, in a way that men do not experience: My microcosm
reflecting His macrocosm. I can emanate
G-d’s ways in a deep way that men cannot- and that is priceless.” Baruch
Hashem, in the merit of Ahuva’s humble, sincere quest for truth and embracing
her femininity, she is engaged to a wonderful man of her dream. I bless Ahuva
to raise a beautiful Jewish family upon the traditional Torah values that she
imparts.
Wonderfully explained, Rebbetzin and Ahuva! Mazel tov!
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