Parashat Shoftim
Printable Version
Struggling with Fear
יִרְאָה נְפוּלָה/Yirah Nefula –
Fallen Fears
My
husband often tries to calm me, saying, “Pray that all your fears will be
unnecessary.” I respond that all fears are unnecessary, as fear only increases
the risks that what we fear will occur. This realization causes me ‘fear of
fearing.’ Although fear is the body’s alarm system – an innate emotional
response to a perceived personal threat – when fears dominate us, they
tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies. Not only do we
unconsciously twist events to match our worst expectations, however, the
fearful energy we send out, actually reverberates in the universe, in such a
way that attracts the object of our fear to come true. It is like a thick,
black, blanket with specks of light. Fear holds us back and keeps us focused on
the idea of lack, while love fills us with positivity, and heightens our energy
vibration in a way that makes our manifestation abilities much more powerful.
In my emunahealing practice, I deal with many women, who are controlled by
various fears. Among the emotional blockages I encounter among my clients, the
main one is fear, which often the underlying cause of various physical
symptoms. The Hebrew word for fear יִרְאָה /yirah, is etymologically
linked to רְאִיָּה/re’iyah
– ‘seeing.’ Fear derives from focusing on the darkness and from not seeing
Hashem in every part of our lives. When we are fearful, it is because our יִרְאַת הָשֵּׁם/yirat Hashem
– ‘awe of G-d’ got mixed up with darkness and became a fallen fear.
Elevating Our Fears
We can
raise up fear through teshuva from love, prayer and energy healing. Our work is
to elevate the fear from the darkness and then allow it to once again transform
back into light. This means returning our fears to their root in the ‘awe of
G-d, as well as to contemplate on our deeds, whether we possibly blemished the
honor of the King. It may be helpful to remember that “worry never robs
tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength” (A.J. Cronin). As
Rabbi Manis Friedman explained, whenever we fear a negative outcome: in case it
didn’t come true, our fear made ourselves needlessly miserable the entire time
of our worry. Alternatively, if our fears eventually did materialize, then we
caused ourselves extra suffering, not only while experiencing the actual
misfortune, but also all the time we spent worrying about it. No one would hold
it against us to be optimistic and believe in a good outcome even if in the end
our hopes were unfulfilled.
Our Fear of G-d Must Override Our Fear of People
War
with its inevitable bloodshed and fatalities is a cause of great fear the world
over. Many mothers, who have sons in the army, find it hard to sleep at night.
Yet, Parashat Shoftim warns us against fearing even an army which is
stronger than ours:
ספר דברים פרק כ פסוק א כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶךָ
וְרָאִיתָ סוּס וָרֶכֶב עַם רַב מִמְּךָ לֹא תִירָא מֵהֶם כִּי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ
עִמָּךְ הַמַּעַלְךָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם:
“When you go out to war against your enemy and you see horses and chariots, an army greater than you, do not fear them, for Hashem your G-d, Who took you out of Egypt, is with you” (Devarim 20:1).
Fearing an enemy stronger than ourselves is far from irrational. If the Torah prohibits us to have rational fear, how much more so is the harboring of irrational fears against the Torah. The assurance that we don’t need to fear a stronger enemy doesn’t come without strings attached, as we learn from the juxtaposition of appointing judges and law enforcers and going out to war. Only if you conduct complete and perfect righteousness in judgement, may you be assured that you will win in war (Rabbeinu Bachaya, Devarim 20:1). Moreover, to be victorious, we must have pure intentions for the sake of Heaven: “In a situation where he can give honor to G-d and his people, every individual Jew must put his trust in G-d and not fear for his own personal life. One who fights with all his heart, with the intention of sanctifying G-d’s Name, is assured not to be harmed, and will merit for himself and his children a faithful home in Israel and eternal life in the World to Come (Sefer Hachinuch, Mitzvah 525). The mitzvah not to fear in war can be extended to include fears in general as Rabbeinu Bachaya continues,
DO NOT FEAR THEM, FOR HASHEM YOUR G-D IS WITH YOU – It is proper that our fear of G-d overrides fear of people. Any fear of flesh and blood is considered like forgetting G-d. As the prophet states, “…who are you that you fear man who will die and the son of man… and you forgot Hashem your Maker…” (Yesha’yahu 51:12-13). Likewise, King Salomon said, “A snare brings terror to a person, but he who trusts in Hashem will be safeguarded” (Mishlei 29:25); (Rabbeinu Bachaya, Devarim 20:1).
Six Torah Tips to Overcome Fears
Although,
we are aware that we will live much healthier and happier lives, if we can
overcome all those fears and worries, that no longer serve us, it is not easy
to let our intellectual awareness enter our hearts and emotions. Below are a
few tips that have sometimes helped me personally. But nothing is a
‘cure-it-all’ fix. Overcoming fears is a constant struggle. Above all, we must
continue to pray to Hashem to help us strengthen our emunah in Him and rise
above our fears.
1. Overcoming fear doesn’t mean we don’t take positive actions to prevent the object of our fear from materializing. We are not permitted to rely on a miracle (Ramban, Vayikra 26:11; Rav Shlomo Ganzfried, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 192:3). Emunah must be balanced with histadlut (effort) exercising our free choice. Ignore what you cannot control and focus on preventing what is in your control instead.
2. Make a conscious decision to develop optimism. Everything can be regarded in a negative or positive light. Choose to focus on the half-filled glass and believe in a positive outcome.
3. When you feel afraid, take a moment to meditate, close your eyes, and pay attention to your breath. Allow your fast breaths to slow down into a deep relaxed breathing. Visualize the matter – that causes you fear – happening in the best possible way. Let yourself feel the joy of anticipating a beautiful outcome.
4. Create positive affirmations that counteract your fears. If, for example, you are afraid that you will never meet your soulmate, your affirmation could read something like: “I choose to believe that I will meet my soulmate, at the time Hashem knows is best!”
5. Articulate your fears and anxieties to a loved one or a therapist as it states, “If there is anxiety in the heart of a person, articulate it, speak about it, and a good word will bring joy” (Mishlei 12:25).
6. Strengthen your emunah in Hashem by focusing on how everything that happens to us is from Hashem. Since Hashem is ultimate good, even if, G-d forbid, our worst fears materialize, that too is for our good, to help us grow and attain our mission in life.
So helpful to have all the points spelled out so clearly - thank you!
ReplyDeleteWonderfully honest!
ReplyDeleteThank you for addressing this most relevant topic! The parsha resonates so much with our times. May we see the light within the darkness.
ReplyDelete