Is it Possible to Overcome Addictions?

Parashat Naso

Is it True that We are Powerless over our Addictions?

I’ve always been a bit compulsive – not unmanageably compulsive – Baruch Hashem, just a tad too addictive when it comes to food, books, emails, etc. I used to call myself ‘a compulsive over reader’ because up until about 10 years ago or so when I was in the middle of a good novel and especially when I was at its end, I absolutely couldn’t put it down. I would sometimes read until 2 o’clock am, waking up groggy for the next day’s responsibilities and chores. Then I decided, that’s it! I won’t allow myself to read any novels, not even the most inspiring Torah novels. In bed, I would read Torah commentaries, biographies, or boring short stories, which were easy to put down. This went on for many years. I would read novels only during vacations, about two-three novels a year. I don’t recall, exactly how it all changed, but after this extended period of abstinence, I felt the lack of not fulfilling my passion for reading, so I began to read novels again. I’m so happy to be able to once again enjoy well-written books and historical novels without overindulging. I’ve enjoyed so many special books such as Momma and the Meaning of Life and other books by Dr. Irvin Yalom, They Called Her Rebbe the Maiden of Ludmir by Gershon Winkler, The Chosen by Shlomo Kalo, Molokai by Alan-Brennert and lately, even the very heavy but fascinating book, Through Fire and Water: The Life of Reb Noson of Breslov. This time around, I was successful in curbing my bookworm passion to 10-30 min before sleeping, lights out at 11!

I also have a penchant for good, wholesome food, which can become obsessive at times. I won’t say I’m free of emotional eating, but I’ve gotten so much better than when I went to a Jewish Overeaters Anonymous here in Gush Etzion, about twenty-five years ago. Since Rabbi Avraham Twersky z”l endorses 12-Step programs, I successfully worked on some of the steps. Although I recommend 12-Step programs, there is one thing that bothered me then and that still bothers me about it, and that is Step 1: “We admit that we are powerless over our addiction, that our lives have become unmanageable.” This concept always rubbed me the wrong way and sounded quite Christian to me. It reminded me of the belief in a ‘savior’ intermediary, that they think they need, because they believe they have no power to be saved without him. Although, it is true that all power is in Hashem’s hand, and without help from Heaven, we are utterly powerless, Hashem empowers us to take charge of our lives and choose to live balanced lives. In OA, they taught me that I could never overcome my addiction but would have to practice abstinence – measuring and weighing food – for the rest of my life. This goes together with “being powerless.” Parashat Naso offers us guidelines for overcoming addictions and teaches us that it is possible for an alcoholic to be able to once again drink wine in a measured way. 

What is the Nazir’s Sin?
Chapter 6 of the Book Bamidbar opens with the laws of the Nazarite, which refers to a man or a woman who takes a vow to abstain from partaking in anything of the grapevine, including drinking wine and living an otherwise ascetic lifestyle, for a minimum of 30 days. Since the נָזִיר/Nazir – Nazarite takes active action to curb his unbalanced passions, he or she is called “holy to Hashem” (Bamidbar 6:8). Parashat Naso continues to give a detailed description of the ritual the Nazir must go through, in order to complete his vow and finish the period of abstinence, to once again be permitted to enjoy the things from which he abstained as a Nazir. Central to this ritual, the Nazir must offer a sin-offering:

ספר סמדבר פרק ו פסוק יא וְעָשָׂה הַכֹּהֵן אֶחָד לְחַטָּאת וְאֶחָד לְעֹלָה וְכִפֶּר עָלָיו מֵאֲשֶׁר חָטָא עַל הַנָּפֶשׁ וְקִדַּשׁ אֶת רֹאשׁוֹ בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא: 

“The kohen shall prepare one for a sin offering and one for a burnt offering and atone on his behalf for sinning against his nefesh, and he shall sanctify his head on that day” (Bamidbar 6:11).

What exactly is the Nazir’s sin for which he needs to expiate by bringing a sin offering? One of Rashi’s explanations is that the Nazir sinned against his own body, when he afflicted himself by abstaining from wine (Rashi, Bamidbar 6:11, based on Talmud Nazir 19a, B.K. 91b, Ta’anit 11a and other places). The sacrifice atones for the sin of abstaining from enjoying permitted pleasures. It is not good to be “too much of a tzaddik” (Kohelet 7:16), and take upon oneself stringencies that the Torah permitted. If G‑d considered wine safe and permissible, it seems that the Nazir is trying to become more religious than Hashem, implying that wine is harmful and G‑d was wrong to permit it. In the afterlife, every person will be held accountable for any permitted pleasure he did not enjoy. This explains why the Nazir needs to get atonement through his sin offering. Yet, the reason for the Nazir’s abstinence was that he wasn’t able to set proper boundaries for his indulgence. Rambam teaches us, that if a person is too extreme in a certain aspect, he must turn to the opposite extreme, in order to detoxify and ultimately regain the perfect balance and reach the middle path (Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De’ot 2:2). 

The Purpose of Being a Nazir is to be Able to Drink Wine in Moderation
Wine is a metaphor for all worldly pleasures. If someone is addicted to a particular indulgence, he must wean himself from the addiction by abstaining completely, until he has recovered. This explains why the Torah endorses the Nazir and calls him holy. By taking adequate action and allowing enough time to heal, the recovering addict is elevating himself. Yet, it is not healthy to retain a victim mentality and feel perpetually powerless. This sets a person up for continued failure. At some point, we must all take ownership of our problems. We are not supposed to remain a Nazir and live an ascetic life of abstinence forever. At the end of the ‘Releasing Nazir-hood Ritual,’ the Nazir is once again permitted to drink wine as it states: 

ספר סמדבר פרק ו פסוק יא וְעָשָׂה הַכֹּהֵן אֶחָד לְחַטָּאת וְאֶחָד לְעֹלָה וְכִפֶּר עָלָיו מֵאֲשֶׁר חָטָא עַל הַנָּפֶשׁ וְקִדַּשׁ אֶת רֹאשׁוֹ בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא:

“The kohen shall wave them as a waving before Hashem; it is consecrated to the kohen, along with the

breast of the waving and the thigh of the uplifting. After this, the Nazir may drink wine” (Ibid. verse 20).

The commentators are puzzled by why the person who finished being a Nazir and returns to drinking wine, is nevertheless still called a Nazir. The term נָּזִיר/nazir is etymologically linked to the word נֵזֶר/nezer which means ‘crown’ as in, “You shall place the turban upon his head and place the נֵזֶר הַקֹּדֶשׁ/nezer hakodesh – “holy crown” upon the turban” (Shemot 29:6). Thus, a nazir is a title of distinction. Only after the Nazir completes the recovery from his addiction by being able to drink wine in a measured way, does he truly personify this title.