Parashat Ekev
Hashem Can Override the Prognosis of the Fertility Expert
Mazal tov! Finally, after three
unsuccessful attempts, our fourth hen who sat on eggs had chicks! How
wonderful to see these cuties with their soft, shiny yellow feathers peck with
their tiny orange beaks at the grain in the coop. I don’t know what the problem
was with the three prior hens, who sat on eggs this summer, without bringing
forth new life. What a disappointment for the hens and for me! It reminds me of
my infertile years when the onset of each period would bring not only its
regular expected discomfort but also the deep disappointment of potential life
being expelled. I was not alone, and the infertility rate in the Western world
continues to rise. In the United States, 10 to 15% of couples are infertile. The
sperm counts among men have more than halved in the past 40 years and are
currently falling by an average of 1.4% per year, leading to an overall drop of
just over 52%. “The results are quite shocking,” said Hagai Levine, an
epidemiologist and lead author of a study from the Hebrew University of
Jerusalem. Humanity is threatened by extinction. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jul/29/infertility-crisis-sperm-counts-halved. However, the essence of a Jewish
person is to never give up. We learn from Avraham and Sarah, the first Jews,
never to give up on anything. Their emunah bore fruit, and they were able to
conceive a holy seed in their old age. After having suffered secondary
infertility for 14 ½ years, I experienced the reward of emunah within my own
body. In 1990, I received the disappointing prognosis – that I was unlikely to
conceive, and therefore not a candidate for fertility treatments, by one of the
greatest fertility experts at Mt. Sinai hospital, New York. Nevertheless, less
than a decade afterward, in 1996, I was cradling my own baby in my arms. The
prophet teaches us to “Look at the rock from where you were hewn… Look to
Avraham your father, and to Sarah who bore you. For when he was one, I called
him, and I blessed him and made him many” (Yesha’yahu 51:1-2). This reminds us, that the beginning of building the
Jewish people took place only after despair. Avraham and Sarah are the first to teach
humanity that even after giving up, there is still hope. Hashem, the Healer of
all, is there for us, and He can override the dark prognosis of any fertility
expert (Rav Tzaddok of Lublin, Divrei Sofrim 16).
Fertility Blessing in the Merit of
Torah
In the beginning of Parashat Ekev,
Hashem showers us with the most beautiful blessings, which we merit through
keeping the mitzvot of His covenant:
:ספר דברים פרק ז פסוק יד בָּרוּךְ תִּהְיֶה מִכָּל הָעַמִּים
לֹא יִהְיֶה בְךָ עָקָר וַעֲקָרָה וּבִבְהֶמְתֶּךָ
“You shall be
blessed above all peoples: There will be no sterile male or barren female among
you or among your livestock” (Devarim 7:14).
Ba’al HaTurim
notices that this verse begins with the letter בּ/beit with the numerical value of 2 and ends with the
letter ךָ/chaf with the
numerical value of 20. These two letters together correspond to the 22
letters of the Hebrew alphabet, through which the Torah is given. Thus, in the
merit of the 22 letters of the Torah “…There will be no sterile male or barren
female among you.” This part of the Torah verse also shares the numerical value
of בְּדִבְרֵי
תּוֹרָה/be’divrei
Torah – “by means of the words of Torah.”
The Unique
Fertility Blessing for the Jewish People
The Chatam
Sofer points out, that our verse mentions, that there won’t be among Israel a
barren male and female, in one breath. Among the nations, it is a blessing if a
sterile male marries a barren woman, so that their infertility will only affect
one family, rather than causing two families to suffer infertility. Yet, among
Israel, the opposite is true. It is preferred that the infertile man marries a
fertile woman and vice versa, rather than that both parents of the same family
are barren. This is because the merit of Hashem’s blessing removes infertility among
Israel and overrides their infertility. However, it is always best not to rely
on a miracle, in order to not use up our merits. Therefore, Hashem brings a
sterile man together with a woman, who is not barren, and He causes a barren
woman to marry a man, who is not sterile, in order that they won’t need a
double miracle. This is the meaning of “You will be blessed above all the
nations…” Your blessing is opposite that of the nations – in that there will
not be among you a sterile man and a barren
woman together in a couple. The Maharil adds, that if both of them would be
barren, it would be very difficult for prayers on their behalf to be effective.
This is as our sages teach, that prayer accomplishes half. Therefore, if only
one in the couple is barren, prayers can bring about healing, so the couple
will be able to give birth.
Israel’s Exceptional Fertility Rate
I was happily
surprised to learn, that it is widely known,
that fertility levels in Israel exceed fertility levels in all other developed
countries, and that this is the main factor affecting Israel’s unusually high
rate of population growth. Despite rapid fertility decline in the rest of the
Western world, Israel’s fertility is not only exceptional because it is high.
It is exceptional because the fertility rate in Israel is reflected by all
educational classes and levels of religiosity. In the rest of the world, rising
levels of women’s education have affected their fertility negatively, imposing a
fertility ‘cost’ on society. For non-Charedi Jewish men, the number of children
among academics and those with lower levels of education is the same. Charedi
women, with an academic degree, do give birth to their first child at a
relatively late age, but by their late thirties, their fertility rates converge
with those of Charedi women with lower levels of education. Israel’s Total
Fertility Rate (TFR) in 2015 was 3.1, which is the highest among the Western
countries, and is almost one full child above the next highest fertility
countries, Mexico and Turkey. Whereas every other country with a TFR greater
than 2.0 in 1995 experienced a reduction in fertility by 2015, Israel’s TFR has
never dropped below 2.8 children, and actually increased by 0.2 children
between 1995 and 2015. Within Israel, it is specifically the Jewish population
that experienced an increased TFR. Between 1960 and 2016, the TFR of Israeli Christians
dropped from 4.7 to 2.1. Druze fertility fell from 7.3 to 2.3 between 1970 and
2010 and Muslim fertility also dropped drastically from an estimated TFR of 9.2
in 1965 to 3.3, fifty years later. Even as Muslim and Druze fertility has
fallen and Christian fertility has remained stable, national fertility levels in
Israel have risen since 2005, because of an increase in the fertility of
Israeli Jews. The fact that Israeli fertility has been increasing alongside higher
education and increasing age at first birth is an atypical pattern, from an
international perspective. https://www.taubcenter.org.il/en/research/israels-exceptional-fertility/ These remarkable statistics seem to indicate
that the fertility blessing of the Children of Israel in Parashat Ekev
has begun to go into effect.
Spiritual Remedies for Infertility
Based on the astounding facts
presented above, it is not surprising, that while I was rejected by one of the
best fertility departments in New York, a small clinic in Israel succeeded to
help me conceive and give birth to a healthy baby. My personal experience has
made me see that part of my personal mission is to impart hope and chizuk to
couples struggling with infertility. Below are some spiritual remedies to help
merit Hashem’s blessing of fertility:
1. Never give up hope! Keep praying and keep trying.
a. Pray for other women to bear children
b. Pray for children at Kever Rachel (The Tomb of Rachel)
c. Pray for children at the Machpelah (Cave of the Patriarchs)
2. Go to get blessings!
a. Get brachot for children from great rabbis and tzadikkim
b. Get brachot from a woman who is exceedingly old
c. Get brachot from other women who have struggled with infertility
d. Get blessings from non-Jews (see explanation below).
3. Recite special prayers for those struggling with infertility
a. Pray Friday night for children after lighting the Shabbat candles.
b. Recite Friday night I Shemuel Chapter 1- Chapter 2 verse 10. (Best in Hebrew).
c. Recite the following Torah verses after intimacy:
ספר במדבר פרק כח
יא) וּבְרָאשֵׁי חָדְשֵׁיכֶם תַּקְרִיבוּ עֹלָה לַהָשֵׁם פָּרִים בְּנֵי בָקָר שְׁנַיִם וְאַיִל אֶחָד כְּבָשִׂים בְּנֵי שָׁנָה שִׁבְעָה תְּמִימִם:
יב) וּשְׁלשָׁה עֶשְׂרֹנִים סֹלֶת מִנְחָה בְּלוּלָה בַשֶּׁמֶן לַפָּר הָאֶחָד וּשְׁנֵי עֶשְׂרֹנִים סֹלֶת מִנְחָה בְּלוּלָה בַשֶּׁמֶן לָאַיִל הָאֶחָד:
יג) וְעִשָּׂרֹן עִשָּׂרוֹן סֹלֶת מִנְחָה בְּלוּלָה בַשֶּׁמֶן לַכֶּבֶשׂ הָאֶחָד עֹלָה רֵיחַ נִיחֹחַ אִשֶּׁה לַהָשֵׁם:
יד) וְנִסְכֵּיהֶם חֲצִי הַהִין יִהְיֶה לַפָּר וּשְׁלִישִׁת הַהִין לָאַיִל וּרְבִיעִת הַהִין לַכֶּבֶשׂ יָיִן זֹאת עֹלַת חֹדֶשׁ בְּחָדְשׁוֹ לְחָדְשֵׁי הַשָּׁנָה:
טו) וּשְׂעִיר עִזִּים אֶחָד לְחַטָּאת לַהָשֵׁם עַל עֹלַת הַתָּמִיד יֵעָשֶׂה וְנִסְכּוֹ:A
“And on the beginning of your months, you shall
offer up a burnt offering to Hashem: two young bulls, one ram, and seven lambs
in the first year, [all] unblemished. Three-tenths of an ephah of fine flour as
a meal offering, mixed with oil for each bull, and two-tenths of an ephah of
fine flour as a meal offering, mixed with oil for each ram. And one-tenth of an
ephah of fine flour mixed with oil as a meal offering for each lamb. A burnt
offering with a spirit of satisfaction, a fire offering to Hashem. And their
libations: a half of a hin for each bull, a third of a hin for
each ram, and a quarter of a hin for each lamb wine; this is the burnt
offering of each new month in its month, throughout the months of the year. And
one young male goat for a sin offering to Hashem; it shall be offered up in
addition to the continual burnt offering and its libation” (Bamidbar
28:11-15).
d. Pray Tefilat HaShela on the eve of
Rosh Chodesh Sivan (Preferably at his tomb in Tiberias, next to Rambam’s
Tomb https://www.shearim.com/Tefilat%20HaShela.pdf
e. Recite the following prayer daily or
whenever you are able (Preferably three times a day by both husband and wife
for a period of 40 days: ”...וְתִתֵּן לִי זֶרַע אֲנָשִׁים, וּתְּבָרְכֵנִי
בְּשְּׁמֶךָ, וּתְבָרֵךְ אֶת בֵּיתִי בְּזָּכְרֶךָ, וְאֵדַע כִּי שָׁלוֹם אֹהָלִי.
וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ בּוֹ נֶפֶשׁ רוּחַ וּנְשָׁמָה מִמַחְצָב טָהוֹר.“
…Grant me a male seed, …and bless my home with Your remembrance, and I will know that
shalom is in my tent. And influence within
him a soul, spirit and Divine soul hewn
from a place of purity…
Other Nations’ Blessings of Israel Will be Fulfilled
Our Torah verse mentions, “You shall be
blessed above all peoples” In Hebrew it statesמִכָּל הָעַמִּים/mi kol ha’amim –
“from all the peoples.” From here, we can extrapolate, that it is especially
beneficial to receive a blessing from someone who is not Jewish. We can further
explain the phrase to mean, that the blessing from the other nations of Israel
will be fulfilled! Rabbeinu Bachaya
explains our verse to mean “you will be blessed from the mouth of all the
peoples.” It is not such praise to be blessed by those with which we are
close. However, being blessed by our opponents is a much greater
accomplishment. The Talmud brings many stories of righteous Jews, who – as a result
of keeping Hashem’s mitzvot meticulously – were blessed by non-Jews. For
example, Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach bought a donkey from a gentile and found a
precious stone on its neck, which he returned to the gentile. The gentile
exclaimed: “Blessed is the G-d of Israel, Who commanded you to return the lost
object, and you trust Him and keep His mitzvot!” In another story, Rabbi Shmuel
found precious jewelry that was wanted by the queen. An announcement had gone
out saying, that whoever would return the lost jewelry within three days would
be rewarded, but if he brought it only after 30 days, he would be killed. When
Rabbi Shmuel returned the jewelry 30 days later, the queen asked, “didn’t you
hear the announcement?” He answered, “Sure I did, but I don’t want you to think,
that I’m only returning the lost object because of fear of you. I am returning
it only now, because of fear of G-d, Who commanded me to return lost objects!”
She thereupon exclaimed “Blessed is the G-d of Israel” (Jerusalem Talmud,
Baba Metzia 2:5).
Blessed Hope for the Barren
Finally, I would like to share with you a Torah message of
hope, from Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen z”l, for people who are unable to have
children. May his message be a soul elevation for him! Although the
Torah teaches that we are to serve Hashem by getting married
and bringing children into the world, there are some people whose
circumstances in life, prevent them from serving the Creator in this
way. Singles may often feel like a barren tree that produces no fruits.
Rabbi Judah Ben Shalom, the Levite, said that when a person departs from the
world without children, he is troubled and weeps. The Holy One, Blessed Be He,
says to him: “Why do you weep? Is it because you did not leave fruits in this
world? You have left fruits more valuable than children!” The person then asks:
“Master of the Universe, what fruits have I left?” The Holy One, Blessed Be He,
answers: “The fruits of Torah – the Tree of Life, as it is written ‘The fruit
of the righteous is a tree of life’” (Mishlei 11:30); (Midrash
Tanchuma, Noach 2). In this vein, we can also regard the blessing in
our verse, “There will be
no barren among you” to refer to raising students. Since the previous verse
already stated, “He will
bless the fruit of your womb,” our pasuk adds an additional blessing, that our home will
not be barren of students (male), and our prayers will not be unheeded or
barren (female) (Babylonian Talmud Bechorot 44b). Students are
considered the main children because they are the children of the
world-to-come. As it states, if the Rabbi sinned and was supposed to go to
purgatory, his students save him, since it is not right that they should be in
paradise while their teacher goes to purgatory (Babylonian Talmud Yoma
87a). Furthermore, the prophet comforts the barren, with the following words: “Let not
the barren one say, ‘Behold I am a shriveled tree’ For thus said Hashem to the
barren, who observe My Shabbats and choose what I desire, and tightly grasp My
covenant. In My house and within My walls, I will give them a place of honor
and renown, which is better than sons and daughters; eternal renown will I give
them, which will never be terminated” (Yesha’yahu 56:3-5).