Prayer for Overcoming Inner Enemies, and Rising to Become My Very Best

 Parashat Vayislach

Prayer for Overcoming Inner Enemies, and Rising to Become my Very Best  

 
Hashem help me face my shadow side,
that dark part of me that I prefer to hide.
 
Those harmful feelings of worry and fear,
that makes me forget that You are always near.
 
Sometimes when things are hard You feel so far away.
Please help me have faith to keep facing another day!
 
I know its only my own lowliness that blocks my view.
Please cleanse the lens of my eye so my vision can renew!
 
Hashem help grant me focus and strength,    
to keep praying sincerely in great length.
 
Remove those awful, negative, spiderweb thoughts,
within whose net my mind so easily gets caught.
 
Help me get out of my heavy head and into my feet!
Allow me to keep dancing through life to Your holy beat!
 
Guide me to always yearn to do Your will,
while finding true happiness and feeling chill.
 
Lift me up from feeling lonely and blue.
Let me sense Your presence in everything I do!
 
You didn’t create me to care about myself alone.
Help me put the welfare of others before my own!
 
Guide me always do my very best,
to gracefully welcome every guest.
 
Teach me to become a giving wellspring of loving care,
supporting the needy and lifting people out of despair.  
 
Whatever I experience through life’s flows and ebbs,
let the awareness of Your Presence permeate my steps!
 
Strengthen me to keep going and never give up!
Show me how to always see the fullness of my cup!

Based on Bereishit Chapter 32 

ספר בראשית פרק לב פסוק ז

וַיָּשֻׁבוּ הַמַּלְאָכִים אֶל יַעֲקֹב לֵאמֹר בָּאנוּ אֶל אָחִיךָ אֶל עֵשָׂו וְגַם הֹלֵךְ לִקְרָאתְךָ וְאַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת אִישׁ עִמּוֹ:

(ח) וַיִּירָא יַעֲקֹב מְאֹד וַיֵּצֶר לוֹ וַיַּחַץ אֶת הָעָם אֲשֶׁר אִתּוֹ וְאֶת הַצֹּאן וְאֶת הַבָּקָר וְהַגְּמַלִּים לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת:

“The angels returned to Ya’acov, saying, ‘We came to your brother, to Esau, and he is also coming toward you, and four hundred men are with him.’ Ya’acov became very frightened and was distressed; so he divided the people who were with him and the flocks and the cattle and the camels into two camps” (Bereishit 32:7-8).8

ספר בראשית פרק לב פסוק י

וַיֹּאמֶר יַעֲקֹב אֱלֹהֵי אָבִי אַבְרָהָם וֵאלֹהֵי אָבִי יִצְחָק הָשֵׁם הָאֹמֵר אֵלַי שׁוּב לְאַרְצְךָ וּלְמוֹלַדְתְּךָ וְאֵיטִיבָה עִמָּךְ:

(יא) קָטֹנְתִּי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים וּמִכָּל הָאֱמֶת אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ כִּי בְמַקְלִי עָבַרְתִּי אֶת הַיַּרְדֵּן הַזֶּה וְעַתָּה הָיִיתִי לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת: (יב) הַצִּילֵנִי נָא מִיַּד אָחִי מִיַּד עֵשָׂו כִּי יָרֵא אָנֹכִי אֹתוֹ פֶּן יָבוֹא וְהִכַּנִי אֵם עַל בָּנִים:

“Then Ya’acov said, ‘O G-d of my father Avraham and G-d of my father Yitzchak, Hashem, Who said to me, ‘Return to your land and to your birthplace, and I will do good to you.’ I have become small from all the kindnesses and from all the truth that You have rendered Your servant, for with my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Now deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I am afraid of him, lest he comes and strikes me, [and strike] a mother with children” (Bereishit 32:10-12).

ספר בראשית פרק לב פסוק כה וַיִּוָּתֵר יַעֲקֹב לְבַדּוֹ וַיֵּאָבֵק אִישׁ עִמּוֹ עַד עֲלוֹת הַשָּׁחַר:

(כו) וַיַּרְא כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ וַיִּגַּע בְּכַף יְרֵכוֹ וַתֵּקַע כַּף יֶרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב בְּהֵאָבְקוֹ עִמּוֹ:

“Ya’acov was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the socket of his hip, and the socket of Ya’acov's hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him” (Bereishit 32:25-26).6

Malbim, Bereishit 32:25: Ya’acov’s struggle is between good and evil in the world, between spirituality and materialism. Hashem created this world in opposites, but the human being consists of both body and soul, good and evil. Our purpose is to let our good overpower our evil – to let our body serve his soul. When Israel keeps Torah and Mitzvot, then Edom, our enemies will surrender. There are upper powers that conduct everything that exists in the world. Just as on the individual level of the human being, we have both an evil and a good inclination, that rule the intellect and soul, as well as the power of the animal soul and materialism, thus there is an upper power, called איש/Ish, which is the general holiness that guards Israel. There is also the general power, which is in charge of evil – is Sam…, Esau’s angel, who always aims at tempting and enticing. Its whole raison de vivre is to cause Israel to sin. Otherwise, this power has no existence at all. Before Ya’acov could confront Esau in person he had to confront the power of Esau, which is hence his own yetzer hara, hence the general yetzer hara of the world which is Esau’s angel. In his struggle against his own yetzer hara Ya’acov was able to strip himself of his body until his essence (soul) remained alone. The איש/ish which fought with him refers to Ya’acov’s own physicality, which would not let him strip himself of his body. Chazal teach that they brought up dust to the throne of glory this means that this was an inner struggle, which reached all the way to the root of emunah, for Esau’s angel wanted to separate Ya’acov from his root of emunah. However, the power of evil was unable to prevail over Ya’acov, for Ya’acov was able to overcome his physicality with the immense power of his soul.