How Can We Transform Our Homes from the External to the Internal Dimension?

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 Parashat Metzora  How Can We Transform Our Homes from the External to the Internal Dimension?

 

How do I Reunite the Torn Apart Pieces of my Psyche? 

I feel the ground is being torn down from under my feet. Everything is topsy-turvy! The house never looks as messy as at the peak of Pesach cleaning. With my head in the depths of the kitchen cabinet and pots and pans scattered all over the kitchen floor, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of dissolvement.  It is as if all the different parts of myself are turning into torn-apart pieces, that I must sort out and bring back together in a different composition. There are treasured, vital items in the kitchen, and in my character that I must give their proper place, remove any external grime or dust, and make them shine. Some things are still important and usable, yet to a lesser degree. I will also remove their external attachment and keep them while relegating them to the backstage of my kitchen cabinet and psyche. There are other items that I painfully must be ready to let go of. It could be a favorite tunic or utensil that has been used up and become utterly threadbare and tattered or completely dilapidated. Correspondingly in my psyche, this could refer to a strong will to keep a thought, an attachment, or a relationship that no longer serves me. In the wake of Pesach, we are shedding layers on many levels and learning to let go. With every chametz crumb – we discard – we mustn’t forget to include its inner dimension and let go of any ego attachment. When I become humbled by feeling powerless and unable to keep my life under control, that is when I invite Hashem inside to help me reorganize my torn-apart pieces into a new and greater whole. 

The Blessings in Disguise within Plagues 

Even among the hardest tests we undergo, we can find many matters for which to be grateful. Parashat Metzora which is mostly about the plague of the spiritual skin disease of tzara’at, teaches us about the treasure found within the agony of the plagues.  Similarly, we have experienced positive effects during our recent plague of the coronavirus pandemic, such as reduced road traffic accidents, better communication, closeness among the family units, and other blessings in disguise. I believe the Coronavirus has helped us to discard the external or superfluous while treasuring the essential and internal. It has taught us that rather than dispersing our energy to the outside, it is vital to strengthen our connection with our loved ones, focusing, and investing more in them. In other words, the coronavirus has taught us a lesson on living more inner lives. 

ספר ויקרא פרק יד פסוק לד כִּי תָבֹאוּ אֶל אֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי נֹתֵן לָכֶם לַאֲחֻזָּה וְנָתַתִּי נֶגַע צָרַעַת בְּבֵית אֶרֶץ אֲחֻזַּתְכֶם:

“When you come to the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as a possession, I will place a lesion of tzara’at upon a house in the land of your ancestral possession” (Vayikra 14:34). 

This is [good] news for them that plagues would come upon them, (Torat Kohanim 14:75), because the Amorites [residents of Canaan] concealed treasures of gold in the walls of their houses during the entire forty years that the Israelites were in the desert, and in consequence of the plague they would demolish the house and discover them  [Vayikra Rabbah 17:6]; (Rashi, Vayikra 14:34).

How Can Plagues be a Result of Elevating the Sparks?

Rashi explains that the plague on the house is good ‎tidings for its owner because tzara’at required the owner to tear down the whole ‎house, which revealed treasures buried underneath by the previous ‎Canaanite owners, amounting to far more in value than the worth of the entire house.‎ The inner meaning of the “good tidings” is not only finding the material treasure” but the process of elevating divine fallen sparks. Kedushat HaLevi reminds us about the rule that the true joy we ‎experience is when we elevate the fallen sparks from the ‎‎Shechinah bringing them to the level of serving their ‎Creator. When we succeed in elevating fallen sparks, then the innerness within these sparks elevates not only the inner part of ourselves but even the sparks of the exterior part of ourselves, ‎known as the ‎חצוניות‎/chitzoniyut, so that we are enabled to discard this part of ourselves.‎ Our house has an internal and external dimension. The internal dimension is comprised of elevating the sparks, whereas the discarded parts constitute the external dimension. Comparing the human soul to the inner spark, and the body without the soul to the exterior, explains why the body of a deceased becomes impure. This is because it has lost the inner spark that connects it with the divine – the source of purity.  Similarly, once the sparks within the external parts of our home are elevated, then these external parts likewise become impure by losing their connection to the Divine. When our Torah verse speaks of the house’s exterior ‎suddenly displaying signs of a plague, this is nothing other than ‎the foul-smelling residue left behind in their house after the ‎Israelites had elevated fallen sparks by fulfilling G-d’s mitzvah (Devarim 20:16) ‎not to allow any of the Canaanite residents to survive.  ‎‎Rashi speaks of the glad tidings for the ‎Jewish people when they discover tzara’at upon the houses in the land of Israel that they newly conquered, referring to their joyful discovery of being able to raise the sparks so that they became elevated to spiritually higher regions. Yet after these sparks had left the houses, the houses became exterior and had to be demolished. This is the good news for the treasures that were found after demolishing the houses are the sparks, for the main happiness is to raise up sparks (Based on Kedushat Halevi, Parashat Metzora).

What is the Recipe for Elevating Sparks?

People often ask me “How do we elevate sparks?” I explain that raising sparks entails focusing on and connecting with Hashem through even the most pleasurable or the most painful experiences. For example, when we eat the most delicious Shabbat meal in a way that rather than succumbing to the temptation of taking selfish pleasure, we dedicate the pleasure we experience to serving Hashem by honoring Shabbat. Conversely, when we go through the hardest pain, which could easily make us feel that Hashem has forsaken us, yet we nevertheless choose to trust Hashem believing that this too is for the best, then we also elevate sparks. In both situations, a person is naturally so entrenched in the intensity of his experience that it is a great challenge to devote this personal experience completely to G-d. This principle applies firmly to the original war of conquering the Land of Israel without “allowing any soul to live from among these peoples’ cities, which Hashem, your G-d, gives you as an inheritance” (Devarim 20:16). Being a combat soldier ready to kill in a war is about the greatest pain a person can experience. It can tempt a person to succumb to his lowest animal instincts of anger and aggressiveness while fighting for the sake of victory for its own sake. When the soldier rises above his own selfish survival instinct to engage in violence and rather focuses on the mitzvah of serving Hashem by obliterating every single person among the evil enemy, what could be a greater way of raising up fallen sparks? 

A Woman’s Pesach Cleaning – The Rectification from the Tree of Knowledge 

The strong connection with Hashem that is necessary against all the odds to raise up sparks transforms us from living in the חצוניות/chitzoniut – ‘exterior realm’ to entering into the פנימויות/penimiut – ‘internal realm.’ Rav Shlomo Carlebach teaches us that during Pesach Hashem illuminates such a great light for us, through our innerness, that we are bound to enter the internal realm. When Hashem wants to give us something so heavenly, we need to purify the external so we can stand completely ‘inside,’ without allowing any stronghold for the ‘exterior realm.’ Cleaning the house is one of the greatest rectifications for the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. This rectification is handed over to the woman. It may seem lonely at times, for as much as the husband and children try to help, they can never enter totally into the domain of the woman’s rectification. In the place where a woman cleans and organizes while investing so much depth and seriousness – in that place, she is truly alone (Based on Rav Shlomo Carlebach, Lev HaShamayim: Pesach pp.85-88). Everything about the Tree of Knowledge is about the external dimension. It is what brought about the very first exile, from the utmost innermost place – the Garden of Eden. When we clean the house mindfully, we shed its external layers of dust and grime and thereby transform our home from the external dimension of the Tree of Knowledge to enter the internal dimension of the Tree of Life. Through Pesach cleaning, we have the opportunity to touch such an elevated place, which only a woman can reach. 

                     

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Metzora

“Japanese people have always regarded cleaning as more than a common chore. It’s normal there for elementary and junior high school students to clean their classrooms together. Cleaning is carried out not because there is dirt, but because it’s an ascetic practice to cultivate the mind.” (Shoukei Matsumoto, Guide to a Clean House and Mind p. 3). Every year, before Pesach, we are commanded to prepare our homes by getting rid of all the chametz, to start fresh and clean, to sweep out all the gunk and crumbs. We can do the same thing with the homes called our bodies, where we store a lot of aches, pains, annoyances, disturbances, stresses, maladaptive habits, etc. Guided meditations are a great way to clear your mind/body of the “chametz” before Pesach.

• Invite Your Community to Join Your Guided Meditation – preparing their minds and psyches for Pesach. Set the mood by lighting candles or dimming lights and turning off phones and other distractions. You may ask the following four questions as part of your Pesach meditation. 

1. What will you be cleaning for Pesach?

2. Why will you be cleaning for Pesach?

3. Does cleaning your space free you to be able to focus your attention inwards?

4. Which items are meaningful to you? How will these items help inspire you this Pesach?

• “We are Closer to G-d when We are Asking Questions Than When We Think we Have Answers” (Avraham Yehoshua Heschel) – While you go about your Pesach cleaning ask yourself questions about the chores you are doing that will inspire you to shed exterior layers of yourself. For example, when cleaning a certain kitchen drawer, you could ask how this drawer is a reflection of the state of your psyche, and how you can reorganize it in a way that will affect your inner being positively. When you scrub suborn stains, you could ask, what are the stubborn stains of my character that I need to remove? and what would be the most effective way to remove them? How do you think the process of cleaning and searching for chametz impacts your spiritual preparation for Pesach?

• Look for Hidden Treasures – Pray to Hashem to find your lost objects while you clean for Pesach. Perhaps during your ordeal of Pesach cleaning you may find a long-lost precious earring or any other item you may have displaced. Rejoice and feel grateful to Hashem for opening your eyes to find hidden treasures!

• Allow Yourself to Be Grateful for the Healing Opportunity of Cleaning – While we focus on removing all of the physical chametz from our homes, notice how the act of cleaning can spark an internal process of introspection, and strengthen your connection to Hashem. You can make your Pesach cleaning a collaborative event by engaging in a post-cleaning discussion and celebration to share what you gained from the experience and discuss what stands out to you most about your experience of cleaning for Pesach.

• Set an Intention for Your Pesach Cleaning to Remove the External Chametz for the Sake of the Mitzvah – so that you can elevate the sparks and transform your home to be aligned with the inner dimension. Focus on how the process of cleaning for Pesach is a way to rectify eating from the Tree of Knowledge – the source of everything external. 

How Can We Learn to Gain from Our Losses?

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Parashat Tazria
How Can We Learn to Gain from Our Losses?  

Making Space for New Growth by Kissing the Old Goodbye

I like to see the good points in students and staff alike, and it is really painful when certain situations force me to criticize and note points of dissatisfaction. It is no less painful to let people go, but this is, unfortunately, part of life. Nothing and no one last forever (except Hashem!). As challenging and sad as it is when we experience loss or when someone leaves, it does open doors for renewal to enter. Whenever someone dear has left my life the space they left, eventually did get filled and sometimes in an even greater way than beforehand. The only exception is when my father, Shlomo ben Yisrael Leib OBM passed away, the third of Nissan, exactly six years ago, may his Neshama have an Aliyah! Whereas absolutely no one can take his place, in some eerie way I am finding myself growing into my father’s shoes and following in his footsteps. Since my father’s passing, I have become aware of how I resemble him in various ways, and these ways have increasingly become more apparent as the years pass by. I pray to sing the song of my father’s intuition, creativity, brilliance, and warmth! As a good friend said at the Shiva, “When your parent is no longer in this world, you discover him within yourself.” As I unearth the last tattered remains of the edible winter weeds that won’t be part of my salads and dips for a while, I discover new growth hidden behind their smothering tangles. Now the spring flowers have space to appear! Every spring I marvel over nature’s feast for sight and scent and revel in the flourishing of the assorted blossoms that have lifted their heads from below the earth or appeared on the trees in no time to welcome the new month of Nissan. Yet, it is the awareness of the fragility and short-lived beauty that increases our delight in spring. That is why the only thing more breathtaking than the sunset is the sunrise! Likewise, the the pregnancy period is so exciting and the engagement period can be more joyous than the actual marriage!  

 

The Transformation of the Fetus at Childbirth Teaches How We Can Gain by Losing

Parashat Tazria opens by describing the spiritual state of childbirth and the ensuing purification process. The Talmud further expounds on the transition of childbirth: Rabbi Simlai questioned, what does the fetus in its mother’s womb resemble? To a folded notebook, with its hands placed on the two sides of its head, at the temples, its two arms on its two knees, and its two heels on its two buttocks, and its head rests between its knees, and its mouth is closed, and its umbilicus is open. It eats from what its mother eats, and it drinks from what its mother drinks and it does not emit excrement lest it kills its mother (Babylonian Talmud Niddah 30b). I understand the comparison of the fetus to a closed book to mean that the fetus is in a total state of receiving. Just as no one can learn from a closed book, so is the fetus only absorbing without giving out anything. Rather than contributing the fetus is completely dependent on the mother’s life support for all its essential functions. Yet once the baby emerges into the airspace of the world, the closed limb, i.e., its mouth, opens, and the open limb, its umbilicus, closes, as otherwise it cannot live for even one hour (Ibid.). This elucidates the concept that when one door closes another is opened. There are no days when a person is in a more blissful state than when he is a fetus in his mother’s womb… A candle is lit for it above its head, and it gazes from one end of the world to the other, as it is stated: “When His lamp shined above my head, and by His light, I walked through darkness” (Iyov 29:3) … The fetus is taught the entire Torah while in the womb… But once the fetus emerges into the airspace of the world, an angel comes and slaps it on its mouth, causing it to forget the entire Torah… when a person enters the world, he is immediately liable to sin due to his loss of Torah knowledge (Babylonian Talmud Niddah 30b). This confirms the concept that we can gain by losing. The fetus is losing its ability to enjoy the bliss in the womb with the most expanded vision and it loses and forgets the entire Torah it learned in the womb. Nevertheless, it is specifically through nullifying the bliss of life inside of the womb that life on earth is created. This nullification is revealed through the suffering, the blood of birth, the contractions of birth, and the cry of the newborn. Without being slapped in the face to forget the Torah a person would be unable to fulfill his mission in this world – to exert his free will through working in Torah through his own efforts for the sake of transforming himself from a receiver to a giver. 

 

The Death of Exile Gives Birth to the Nation of Israel

Likewise, the birth of the nation also is connected with the nullification of its prior life form – The life of exile. Therefore, it entails much suffering, that we experience during the difficult birth pangs of our redemption. The forgetting of the Torah of exile – so we can acquire the Torah of Eretz Yisrael – is like the slap in the face of the angel. This forgetting is connected with the revelation of the impurity at the beginning of the process of the sprouting of Geulah. I believe we are already at the end of this process and in the birthing clinic. The condemnation of Israel by the UN and the withholding of weapons by the USA are all symptoms of the death of a prosperous exile for the Jewish people. Perhaps the pain of the spilled blood of our dear heroic soldiers at this time can be compared to the blood of the birthing mother or even to the blood of the baby’s circumcision. Maharal explains that the Jewish nation was born through the Exodus from Egypt specifically because a matter develops through its opposite (Gevurat Hashem Chapter 4). Of all countries, Hashem chose Egypt to enslave the Israelites, since they were the most perverse of all nations, as it states, “She lusted for their concubinage, those whose flesh is the flesh of donkeys, and whose issue is the issue of horses” (Yechezkiel 23:20). According to the degree of the Egyptians’ coarseness and sexual depravity the more refined and chaste would the Israelites turn out as the contrast, as experiencing evil brings out our greatest good. This is also what happened to our people in the wake of the barbaric attacks on October 7th. The intense cruelty of our enemy is finally bringing out the Jewish people’s recognition of our right to the Promised Land, and our devotion to fight for truth without giving in to foreign pressure. 

ספר ויקרא פרק יב פסוק ב

דַּבֵּר אֶל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לֵאמֹר אִשָּׁה כִּי תַזְרִיעַ וְיָלְדָה זָכָר וְטָמְאָה שִׁבְעַת יָמִים כִּימֵי נִדַּת דְּוֹתָהּ תִּטְמָא:

“Speak to the children of Israel, saying: If a woman conceives and gives birth to a male, וְטָמְאָה/v’tam’ah – ‘she shall be impure’ for seven days; as [in] the days of her menstrual flow, she shall be impure” (Vayikra 12:2). 

How can impurity come from childbirth, when it is known that it is one of the three keys in Hashem’s hands alone? (Ta’anit 2a). We would expect only purity to emerge from the hands of Hashem. The answer is that impurity only enters after pregnancy ends. The impurity of birth is due to the mourning of the fetus forgetting the Torah learned in the womb. The Kotzker Rebbe explains that in every important event – when holiness is strengthened – impure energies are also roused. Because of the power of pregnancy and birth, to which G-d controls the key, impurities are kept out until the baby is born. Then the holiness leaves, and impure energies gain entry. This is like the impurity that overtakes the body once the soul leaves. Similarly, when we excel in some area, especially in something Jewish, there is a danger of being unconsciously overwhelmed by negative energies and subsequently backsliding. For example, I have experienced when a student wants to make Aliyah keep up your guard, and use each special event as a step to move higher. May we merit through the purification of the impurity of exile to complete the purification process of the birth of the renewed nation and our national revival. (Shaul Yosef Leiter, Keys to Holiness The Principal Aspect of Redemption is Divine Light Revealed from Above.)

 

                     

           

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Tazria –

Some Tips for How to Turn your Losses into Gains 

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. At times, it may seem like we’re faced with an insurmountable number of obstacles and setbacks. Losses, whether in the form of a job, a relationship, or a personal dream, can feel devastating. However, it’s important to remember that adversity can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and positive change. When it comes to losses, we can change our viewpoint, and thereby change our mood and mindset for the better. It may not be pleasant to face failure and accept your limitations, but looking at these failures from a broader perspective can change our mood from hopeless depression to excitement and optimism. It’s merely a matter of thinking of trading losses in terms of the broader perspective. We’re human, and not perfect. As much as we desire to succeed it is inevitable never to fail. “For there is no righteous man on earth who does good and doesn’t sin” (Kohelet 7:20). 

• Your Strength Doesn’t Come from Winning but from Struggles and Hardship – Everything that you go through prepares you for the next level” (Germany Kent). Professional athletes and seasoned traders know how to turn losses into gains. Rather than mull over past defeats, they use the setback as a motivator, an opportunity to hone their skills, grow, and improve. They examine what they did wrong, learn from their mistakes, and view the temporary setback as a launchpad from which to achieve higher future performance. 

• Engage in Cheshbon Hanefesh (Soul Accounting) – to determine why something had to end, or someone had to be ended. Every setback, no matter how painful, carries lessons. Was your loss due to happen as a result of matters beyond your control or is there a lesson for you to learn to do better next time? During your soul accounting include your plan to work out how to replace your loss in a way that will cause gain for you and others. Take time for Cheshbon Hanefesh to reflect on what you’ve learned from the experience. These lessons can become valuable tools for your future.

• Cultivate Resilience – Resilience is the ability to bounce back from hardship. It’s a skill that can be developed over time. Focus on building resilience by staying positive, seeking support, and maintaining a growth mindset.

• Set New Goals – Losses often close one chapter but open the door to new opportunities. Set new goals and aspirations for yourself. Use your experiences to strengthen your determination to accomplish them.

• Surround Yourself with Support – Lean on friends and family for support during challenging times. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide emotional relief and fresh perspectives.

• Practice Self-Compassion – Be kind to yourself. Understand that setbacks are a part of life, and they don’t define you. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.

• Focus on the Present – While it’s essential to learn from the past, dwelling on it can hinder your progress. Focus on the present moment and the steps you can take right now to move forward.

• Harness Your Strength -- Take inventory of your strengths and talents. Utilize these assets as you navigate through life’s challenges. Your strengths can be your greatest tools for success.

• Seek Inspiration – Look to stories of individuals who have overcome challenges. Their journeys can provide inspiration and proof that it’s possible to rise after falling as King Solomon teaches, “For a righteous man can fall seven times and rise, but the wicked shall stumble upon evil” (Mishlei 24:16). 

• Celebrate Small Victories – As you make progress and work towards your goals, celebrate even the smallest victories. Acknowledging your achievements boosts confidence and motivation.