Rosh Hashanah Torah Reading (First Day)
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Must a Woman Allow the Man to Always
Have the Last Word?
I deeply relate to the messages of the first Torah
reading for Rosh Hashana, which I have been teaching for many years. On the
birthday of Adam and Eve, we learn about our spiritual role-models who enacted
the ultimate rectification for the downfall of humanity. Whereas, the second
day of Rosh Hashana focuses on Avraham and his otherworldly devotion, in the
near sacrifice of Yitzchak, Sarah, our mother, is highlighted on the first day
of Rosh Hashana. The Torah reading opens with the story of Sarah’s conceiving
and giving birth. As Yitzchak grows, we learn about the clarity of Sarah’s
vision, when it comes to protecting her son – the heir of Avraham’s legacy. In
contrast to several current Torah teachers, who emphasize that women must
always listen to their husbands, Hashem told Avraham, “Everything that Sarah
tells you, listen to her voice!” (Bereishit 21:12). This verse is a
great Torah backing for assertive women, who are not afraid to voice their
truth, whenever necessary. I’m not saying wives must always be bossy and
dominating, making their husbands dance to their every tune. In my family, it
was my father, ob”m, who was, as he put it himself, “wearing the pants!” My
mother, may she live – although an accomplished doctor in her own right – was
subservient to my father and often allowed him the last word. I have always
admired my mother-in-law for her dedication to cater and dote on the needs of
her husband, for no less than 70 years! I also approve of the post feministic,
“Surrendered Wives’ movement”, inspired by Laura Doyle’s The
Surrendered Wife. When
she stopped bossing her husband around, giving him advice, burying him in lists
of chores, criticizing his ideas and taking over every situation as if he
couldn’t handle it, she experienced a magical return of intimacy in her
marriage. This work of letting go of control, is certainly central for the tikkun
(rectification work) of today’s women, necessary to bring redemption. So, how
does Hashem’s command to Avraham, “Whatever Sarah tells you listen to her
voice!” apply to women today? When is it appropriate to allow the man to have
the last word, and when is it Hashem’s will that women speak up and take
charge?
Sarah Rectified Chava by Separating
Good and Evil
The field of a women’s voice and feminine intuition
is specifically related to separating good and evil. In her role as a mother
and a matriarch, Sarah was imbued with prophetic spirit in order to protect her
son – whom she was raising to be the spiritual heir of Judaism – from any
negative influence. This בִּירוּר/birur – ‘separation’
between Yitzchak and Yishmael enacted by Sarah, rectified the sin of Chava, who
caused the previous separate energies of good and evil to become entrenched.
Since then, it has become the role of women to reseparate good from evil in
order to bring redemption. Sarah’s separating Yishmael from Yitzchak
alsorectifies the first sibling rivalry of Chava’s sons, Kayin and Hevel, which
resulted in murder. Furthermore, Sarah accomplishes the rectification of Chava,
as Arizal says; because she rectified chalah, nidah and candlelight
(Sefer Halikutim, Shoftim 15:15). To reverse Chava’s act of tempting
Adam to eat from the Tree, which caused good and evil to become mixed, Sarah
instructed Avraham to separate between Yitzchak and Yishmael. (Rav Tzaddok Hakohen, Kometz Hamincha
2:38). It is interesting to note, that although her prophetic instruction seems
harsh on Hagar and Yishmael, it facilitated them both to eventually return to
Hashem in complete teshuva (see Rashi, Bereishit 25:1, Rashi ibid. 9).
Sarah – A
Greater Prophet than Avraham
The clue for us to know when
to respect the decision of the men and when to voice our truth is alluded to in
the text of our Torah reading for the first day of Rosh Hashana:
“Then G-d said to Avraham, ‘Be not displeased concerning the lad and concerning your handmaid; whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her voice, for in Yitzchak will be called your seed’” (Bereishit 21:12).
Rashi points out, that the
word בְּקֹלָהּ/bekolah
– “to her voice” is superfluous, for the Torah could have simply stated,
‘listen to her,’ without adding the extra “her voice.” This phrase teaches us
that Sarah was imbued with Ruach HaKodesh – Divine inspiration. Rashi,
moreover, learns that Avraham was inferior to Sarah in prophecy, and
therefore, he was told to listen to her [Midrash Shemot Rabbah 1:1, Tan.
Shemot 1]; (Rashi, Bereishit 21:12). How is it possible that Sarah’s
prophecy was higher than Avraham’s, when Scripture repeatedly mentions how
Hashem spoke to Avraham? We never find even one instance in the Torah where
Hashem addressed Sarah directly!? Perhaps, the difference in Avraham’s and
Sarah’s prophecy exemplifies the difference in men’s and women’s relationship
with G-d. Although Hashem spoke directly only to Avraham, Sarah’s level of
prophecy may have been of a higher quality. Her kind of prophecy was an inner intuitive
connection – a direct relationship – “From my flesh I see G-d…” (Iyov
19:26). She didn’t need to be addressed externally, since she was already
completely tuned in with G-d’s will from within, to the extent that all of
Avraham’s prophecy became bleak in comparison. Her level of divine vision
merited for her to become the first of the seven well known prophetesses in the
Torah: Who were the seven prophetesses? Sarah, Miriam, Devorah, Chana, Avigail,
Chulda and Esther. Sarah, as it is written, “the father of Milkah, the
father of Yiskah.” Rabbi Yitzchak said, Yiskah is Sarah. Why was she called
Yiskah? For she saw by means of divine inspiration, as it states, “Everything
that Sarah tells you, listen to her voice” (Babylonian Talmud, Megillah
14a).
Listen to Her Voice
Menachem Mendel Shneerson z”l of Lubavitch was
quoted saying that “Whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her voice” applies to
all Jewish women. Just as Sarah’s voice was prophetic, so do we Jewish women –
who attempt to walk in her footsteps – receive glimpses of divine inspiration,
especially currently, at the threshold of redemption, with its return of the
feminine light. This is alluded to in the seventh bracha of the sheva
brachot (wedding blessings), which mentions that both “the voice of the
groom and the voice of the bride” will be heard, when it could have simply
said, ‘the voice of the groom and bride,’ without repeating the word ‘voice.’
The seventh sheva bracha is thus an allusion to the time of redemption when
women will regain their voice, unlike presently, when only the groom speaks
under the chuppah (marriage canopy), (Rabbi Schneur Zlaman of Liadi, Tefilat
l’kol Hashana). Yet, the voice of women is already beginning to return-
hand in hand with the return of the Divine Feminine Indwelling Presence in the
land. As we work on releasing spiritual and emotional blocks, we become vessels
more fit for divinity and increased intuition.
Listening to the Intuition Within Our
Body
Listening to Sarah’s voice, can also refer to
listening to our body, as it states, “Sarah represents the body and Avraham,
the soul” (Zohar 1:123b with the Sulam). If Sarah represents the
body, our physical part, does listening to Sarah’s voice imply that we should
listen and follow our physical faculties, allowing our desires and ambitions to
take charge? Doesn’t the Torah emphasize our higher soul-purpose, spiritual
aspirations, selflessness and divine missions? The Ba’al Shem Tov teaches us
that rather than being in constant war with our body, we must allow our body
and soul to work together, to reach their joint mission (Hayom Yom, Shevat 28,
Shemot 23:5). It is not always easy to tune into the holiness in
physicality. Yet, an ever-increasing part of spirituality is to listen to our
body and harness our earthly drives for our spiritual service. Working on
mindfulness, becoming conscious of our breaths and aspiring towards mind-body
integration, is a way of fulfilling the perpetual calling of “listen to her
voice.” This mastery is what made Avraham and Sarah an eternal inspiration in
our daily lives. (Inspired by, Chana Vaknin, Listen to Her
Voice).
Listening to the Divine Voice
Speaking Through Our Heart
In order to know when to expect men to listen to
our voice, and when to hold back, we women must first learn to listen to our
own voice. I’m referring to our true inner voice, which is in tune with the
Shechina. When we heighten our awareness, then Hashem’s voice speaks through
our own heart, as it states, “On Your
behalf, my heart said, ‘Seek My presence.’ Your presence, O Hashem, I will
seek” (Tehillim 27:8). The more we accustom ourselves to listen
to the Divine voice emanating from our own heart, the more we will know when
our voice must be heard in the world. When it is not our own, but the voice of
Hashem that we assert, we will avoid power struggles and ego aggrandizement.
Sarah, our mother, surely respected and listened to Avraham, most of the times.
However, when she became aware of the spiritual and physical danger of her son,
she had to put her foot down. It was not her own words that she voiced, but
only the voice of the Divine spirit, like the expression, בַּת קוֹל/Bat
Kol – ‘a heavenly or divine voice, proclaiming G-d’s will to the
world’ (Siftei Chachamim, Bereishit 21:12). Sarah had her own unique
relationship with G-d, independent “of Avraham’s connection to the Almighty.
She was a prophetess in her own right. Avraham (which means “father of a great
nation”) and Sarah (“Prophetic Princess”) were two individual seekers of G-d in
a world of idolaters. They met as equal and united spiritual powers that caused
a spiritual monotheistic revolution, felt throughout the entire world and
reverberating for eternity.
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