How Can we Learn from the Fear of the Spies to Release Our Fears and Worries?

Parashat Shelach Lecha
How Can we Learn from the Fear of the Spies to Release Our Fears and Worries?

The Inferiority Complex – a Residue from Generational Traumas of Enslavement

In my Spiritual Healing practice, I’ve come across so many women who suffer from fears, worries, and lack of self-confidence. I unfortunately often relate personally to these negative emotions. We Jews suffer from tribal traumas passed down from generations of exiles all the way back from our Egyptian enslavement experience. Hashem didn’t lead us directly from Egypt to Israel but took us the long about way, to give us time for purging ourselves of our slave mentality. Yet it seems that this process is never ending. Even our current fears and worries are residues from that ancient trauma, which inflicted us with a severe flashback in recent holocaust times. Due to the slave experience of having been controlled by others, we still suffer from control issues. The other day a friend panicked, because she felt overwhelmed by all her responsibilities, which she didn’t feel she could handle. She suffered from the same perfectionist syndrome as me, expecting to be able to do her job immaculately and have everything under control. Since that wasn’t possible, she felt inadequate and berated herself. Feeling low self-esteem also stems from the generational trauma of being the underdog, who has repeatedly been stepped on and taken advantage of by others. Women who feel a lack of self-confidence may enter unhealthy relationships with men to fill their deep dark lack. I asked one of my past students, “Why did you agree to go out with that guy after we just talked about how you need some time to build yourself up before being ready to date?” She explained that although she had agreed with me only one day prior not to date yet, she gave in to the temptation of the feeling of filling her deep deficiency that dating offered. Although the spies had undergone a 40-year slavery detachment period in the desert living directly under Hashem’s protective wing, and experiencing His miracles, they were still far from liberated from the slavery dregs of inferiority feelings.  

Why did the Spies Compare Themselves to Grasshoppers?
When the spies discovered the powerful people that Hashem charged the Israelites to conquer, they were overwhelmed with fears stemming from their inferiority complex:

ספר במדבר פרק יג פסוק לג וְשָׁם רָאִינוּ אֶת הַנְּפִילִים בְּנֵי עֲנָק מִן הַנְּפִלִים וַנְּהִי בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים וְכֵן הָיִינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶם:

“There we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, descended from the giants. In our eyes, we seemed like grasshoppers, and so we were in their eyes” (Bamidbar 13:33).

Mulling over the grasshopper image, I envision a tiny fragile creature that blends in totally with the grass itself and lends itself to easily be stepped on. It is one of the lowest creatures in the food chain and certainly not a conqueror. The purpose of grasshoppers’ well-known feature – the ability to jump – is imbued within them for the sake of escaping from a predator or launching themselves into flight. I find it interesting that after the spies compare themselves to grasshoppers, they add “And so we were in their eyes.” How would they know how others regarded them? This teaches us that there is a strong connection between the way we see ourselves and how others perceive us. We all know based on war history that the morale of the soldiers is more vital for the outcome of the war than their ammunition. Emek D’var explains, “The fact that that the heart of the spies fell into feeling low self-esteem is a sign that they wouldn’t be able to conquer the nations. The same thing happened later to King Shaul as it states, “Then Shaul saw the camp of the Philistines. And he feared, and his heart trembled greatly” (I Shemuel 28:5). The fact that dread entered Shaul’s heart was a sign that he wouldn’t be successful in war. Our self-image greatly influences how others view us. When a person is possessed by low self-esteem, he exudes the energy of failure toward others. This in return makes them feel superior and confident in their victory over him. Moreover, when a person is overcome by fear, his view of others becomes distorted, as we see from the spies who had no way to be so sure that they were considered grasshoppers in the eyes of their enemies. How could anyone but Hashem know what people feel in their hearts?

The Connection Between the Fear of the Spies and Our Own Fears and Worries
We all experience fear at a certain point in our lives. People are afraid to fail but also afraid to succeed. Often people fear what others might think. Fear can make us freeze and become unable to act and keep the mitzvot. By understanding the root of the fear of the spies and the Israelites who listened to their report, we may get an important clue regarding our own fears and worries. Every Tisha B’Av we are called upon to shed yet another layer of this foundational fear, which still prevents us from rebuilding our Temple in Jerusalem – in the heart of the Land of Israel. The spies expressed their inferiority feeling as follows:

ספר במדבר פרק יג פסוק לא וְהָאֲנָשִׁים אֲשֶׁר עָלוּ עִמּוֹ אָמְרוּ לֹא נוּכַל לַעֲלוֹת אֶל הָעָם כִּי חָזָק הוּא מִמֶּנּוּ:

“But the men who went up with him said, ‘We are unable to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we’” (Bamidbar 13:31).

The Hebrew. מִמֶּנּוּ/mimenu – “than us” can also be read מִמֶּנּוֹ/mimeno ‘than Him.’ They [the spies] said this in reference to the most High, as it were, [as if to say that the people are stronger than He [G-d] (Rashi, Bamidbar 13:31 based on Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 35a).
How is it possible for anyone to believe that human beings can ever be stronger than G-d? From here we learn that the root of fear is the lack of bitachon – trusting in Hashem. Feeling strongly connected to Hashem and experiencing His Divine Supervision will prevent anyone from falling into a fearful state. The first step in overcoming our fears and worries is to meditate and envision Hashem’s powerful love and protection, to internalize that the only thing to fear is our own sin. Absolutely no one can hurt us when Hashem is on our side!

EmunaHealing Exercise to Flip the Anxiety Switch off and Release Your Fears

(Based on 4 Steps to Break Free from Fear and Jump-Start Emotional Healing by Jacqueline Pearce, MSEd, LMHC)

1. Make yourself comfortable in a safe, secure place where you can be alone with Hashem.
Breathe in, to a count of 7, hold your breath for a count of 4, and breathe out to a count of 8. Repeat this breathing pattern three times, as you feel your heart relax more and more.

2. Do a body scan with your breath, do you hold any fear in any part of your body? Observe where exactly the fearful energy has accumulated in your body. Sometimes you may feel tightness in your heart, an uneasy feeling in your stomach, a narrowing of your throat, or you may feel tension in any of your limbs. Keep breathing softly into any of the tense places of your being, to allow the tension to melt away.
3. Now it’s time to face your fears. If you don’t address your fears, they can accumulate with time. Fear is not just a feeling; it is an energy. No energy can be contained for too long. Let us get ready to release our fears, to prevent them from being expressed as struggle and pain.
4. Tune into your fears, you may have many minor fears and one or two major ones. Allow yourself to become aware of your fears and communicate with them so you can release them. What do you fear? Do you have feelings of inferiority? Do you feel lonely, abandoned, small and vulnerable, like a grasshopper afraid to be stepped on? Once you are successful in finding the root of your fearful energy, you can communicate with it. Focus on one of your fears. What is your fear trying to tell you?
5. A dialogue with your fears can reveal vital and useful information. It can help you to understand the origin of your fear and how to make yourself feel safe. Ask your fear “What do you want me to do to support your release?”
6. A duck flutters its wings intensely after a quarrel to release the energy of fear. Similarly, you can find ways that help you release negative energy. It can be crying, screaming, shouting, tapping or any vigorous physical movement.
7. Focus on the part of the body where you feel fear has accumulated and let yourself understand what kind of movement your body wants. When you have determined what way will help you release your fear(s), allow yourself to let go of it! You may want to use a combination of several ways of release, like screaming while swinging your arms vigorously from side to side. Let your fears teach you what movement to do and or sound to make to release them! Surrender to the movement/sound[s] and repeat them until a liberating feeling envelops you!
8. Now envision Hashem’s comforting presence lifting your fears away as you breathe deeply. Hashem is always there for you, even within your deepest fear. His Almighty power carries your fears and protects you from the object of your anxiety. With Hashem on your side, you are never alone, you are never weak or small, as Hashem is your stronghold. Breathe in deeply and let your breath out with a big Ahhhh. You may repeat this breathing and Ahhing two additional times. Can you feel how you are becoming liberated, truly liberated from the fears that were holding you back?
9. Promise yourself you will muster up the courage to continue to work on releasing fears that contribute to unwanted worry or anxiety. By building up your trust in Hashem you can flip the anxiety switch off and release your fears!