Tuesday, May 14, 2024

How Does Gratitude Help Us Grow in the Process of Self-refinement?

Printable Version


Parashat Emor

 How Does Gratitude Help Us Grow in the Process of Self-refinement? 


Counting in Anticipation of Marrying the King’s Daughter 

Counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot teaches us how much we look forward to receiving the Torah and how much we appreciate it. As a child, I recall counting the days the led up to my birthday and Chanukah in anticipation of receiving presents. Some children may also count the days until vacation, but I never did because I liked attending school. As an adult, I appreciate even more the opportunity to learn Torah, and go to school and teach Torah to students eager to learn. I together with my students look forward with gratitude to celebrating Receiving the Torah on Shavuot, in our all-night learning program. The following parable describes the mitzvah of counting the Omer in anticipation of receiving the Torah:  A messenger of the king’s servants told an imprisoned man: “On such and such day the king will release you from prison, and fifty days after your departure, he will give you his daughter.” The prisoner replied: “When the king’s words are fulfilled to bring me out of prison, I will believe that his second promise to give me his daughter will also come true. After he was released, he began to count, and the king gave him his daughter on the fiftieth day. This is an allegory for Hashem’s words to Moshe: “Go... and bring my people (the children of Israel) out of Egypt. When you bring the people out of Egypt, you will worship G-d on this mountain, and I will give them the Torah” (Shemot 3:12 with Rashi). Moshe went and told Israel, but they did not listen to him, because of hard work (Shemot 6:9). They said: “We can’t believe that He will bring us out of Egypt from slavery, let alone that He will give us the Torah.” When they were brought out, Israel began to count the days until they would receive the Torah. It was given to them at the end of fifty days from the Exodus. G-d commanded that they count every year for the sake of their endearment of the Torah, for the Torah that He gave them is the most desirable vessel through which the world was created (Rav Yosef, Bechor Shor, on Vayikra 23:16). There are no bounds to how blessed we are to have the freedom to learn Torah. At times we may forget how the Jews were executed for Torah learning during the Roman Exile, and more recently in the Soviet Union, Jews were sent to cruel labor camps for learning and living according to the Torah. The counting of the Omer reminds us and ingrains within us the gratitude for the Torah.  Especially women, who traditionally didn’t learn Torah inside the text until the last four or five decades, how can we not be ecstatically grateful for the ability to learn Torah in depth? 


Facilitating Our Eternal Journey from Physical to Spiritual Freedom

Parashat Emor lists all the holidays of the Jewish calendar including the mitzvah to count the Omer for 49 days from the day following the first day of Pesach until Shavuot the 50th day. It is fitting that we read about the mitzvah of counting the Omer during the period of counting the Omer:


ספר ויקרא פרק כג פסוק טו וּסְפַרְתֶּם לָכֶם מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת מִיּוֹם הֲבִיאֲכֶם אֶת עֹמֶר הַתְּנוּפָה שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת תְּמִימֹת תִּהְיֶינָה: (טז) עַד מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת הַשְּׁבִיעִת תִּסְפְּרוּ חֲמִשִּׁים יוֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶּם מִנְחָה חֲדָשָׁה לַהָשֵׁם:

“You shall count for yourselves, from the morrow of the rest day from the day you bring the Omer as a wave offering seven weeks; they shall be complete. You shall count until the day after the seventh week, [namely,] the fiftieth day, [on which] you shall bring a new meal offering to Hashem (Vayikra 23:15-16). 


It has been just over a month since we celebrated Pesach.  Around our tables, we relived the journey from slavery to freedom. We worked on liberating ourselves from our compulsive thoughts and reactions, and unconscious habitual repetitive patterns in our own lives. The more we bring our unconscious automatic reactions to our awareness, the more we can be free to make our own conscious choices in life. Just being aware that we do have a choice in every situation is an indicator of freedom. All Jewish holidays related to the calendar cycle, have both a physical, agricultural, land perspective and a corresponding spiritual message. Just as the journey of the Israelites from Egypt to Mount Sinai is reflected by counting the days between the first barley harvest at Pesach time and the first wheat harvest at Shavuot, so does this period denote our eternal journey from physical to spiritual freedom. I believe that attaining true spiritual freedom is to align our personal will with Hashem’s will, as Rabbi Gamliel used to say, “Make His will like your will so that He will make your will like His will…” (Pirkey Avot 2:4). When you toil in Torah which is the will of Heaven, do so with zeal and joy, without having your thoughts scattered on other things, just like you focus all your thoughts singly on your occupation (Tiferet Yisrael). I believe that true spiritual freedom is to master our thoughts and desires and devote them all to Hashem’s Torah. The spiritual practice of counting the Omer is to facilitate this mastery and devotion. It is not by chance that the practice of counting the Omer pertains to the entire month of Iyar in which the sense of thought reigns (Sefer Yetzirah 5:7).


Physical and Spiritual Renewal Reflected by Barley and Wheat Respectively 

True freedom is expressed when releasing physical, emotional, and spiritual blocks that block us from constant renewal. The coarse, hard barley that ripens in spring during nature’s rising energy of spurting forward reflects our physical renewal.  The soft, sweet wheat that comes to fruition when most flowering fruit trees have begun to yield their loving mulberries, cherries, and early figs reflects our spiritual renewal. Just as Hashem created the body to be a vessel for the soul, so does physical renewal convey the potential for spiritual renewal. Thus, the spring flowers during the barley harvest symbolize potential, whereas the first fruits during the wheat harvest embody actualization which is the ultimate spiritual purpose of creation. At that time of year, we stood at Mount Sinai and chose to accept the Torah declaring – na’aseh v’nishmah“We will do, and we will listen.” So too do we possess an ongoing potential for renewal and refinement at this time between Pesach and Shavuot, when we are helped from heaven to become aware of our potential for growth and change. Each day during this period we have the opportunity to meditate on, tune into, and cultivate the Sefirot combination that requires rectification then. The beauty of the Omer practice acknowledges that all growth is a process that cannot be accomplished in one day. We all go through a process, traveling a spiral path round and round, but never in quite the same place each year. Thus, each spring, after the elaborate Pesach Seder that made us more deeply aware of the pursuit of freedom within ourselves and the world, we embark upon the journey through the wilderness of our lives.


A Healthy Soul in a Healthy Body

The culture of our Western society emphasizes physical beauty. It focuses on improving our physical health, and physical body. Yoga, pilates, special diets, detoxing kits, and supplements are advertised everywhere. In the Torah, care of our body is also vital but only to benefit our soul. As Rambam teaches, “Maintaining a healthy and sound body is among the ways of G-d, since it is impossible to understand or know the Creator when one is ill. Therefore, one must avoid anything that harms the body, and cultivate healthy habits that strengthen the body (Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 4:1). The final purpose of maintaining physical health is to refine our inner lives and bring more holiness into the world, through character improvement. Moving from physical to spiritual freedom during the Omer count between Pesach and Shavuot can be depicted as a ladder, counting up, not down, toward the possibility of revelation. As we commit ourselves to becoming and entering into a process of refining our hearts and opening our eyes, we can come more into contact with our Divine nature and become conduits for revealing holiness in the world (Based on Kaya Stern-Kaufman, Gratitude is a choice). 


Celebrating the Half-Steps and Mid-Journey-Moments

Barley in the Torah is considered animal fodder, whereas the more refined wheat is the main Torah staple for humans. The suspected adulteress brings a barley offering “But not wheat; [since] she conducted herself like an animal, therefore, her offering is [composed of] animal feed” - (Rashi, Bamidbar 5:15 based on BT, Sotah 15b, Sifrei Naso 1:48).  The Ba’al Shem Tov, would never say lachayim! on beer because it is made from barley. Although barley is relegated to be considered animal feed, we still offered it to Hashem as the omer offering before we sacrificed two loaves of whole wheat bread on Shavuot. The Omer is actually a biblical-era measurement (equivalent to 43.2 oz. or 57.6 grams). On the 16th of Nissan, in addition to the regular holiday offering, a lamb was offered together with an Omer of barley taken from the first harvest of the land of Israel (Rambam, Hilchot Temidin uMusafin 7:3-5). It was forbidden to eat or even reap any newly grown grains before the Omer Offering (Ibid. 7:13). If we wanted to celebrate the crops, would it not suffice to celebrate more refined wheat?  Farmers in biblical and Talmudic times grew their grains – the central crops and main source of income from Pesach to Shavuot. Before the ripening of the wheat, they only had barley, and for that, they would need to be thankful already. We often do not celebrate the half-steps, the beginning of a journey, or appreciate the not-yet-perfect life. But life is full of “not-there-yets,” work-in-progress, and mid-journey moments, for which we must show appreciation and gratitude. Embracing the half-measures can help us feel just that much more complete (Based on Rabbi Shua Brick, Emor: Gratitude for the Half Measures).


            Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Emor –

Some Tips for How to Strengthen Gratitude for Self-Improvement 

Recent research shows that gratitude can lead to a growth mindset and facilitate you to persevere when faced with challenges. A growth mindset entails believing that our abilities are not fixed, rather they can be developed through practice, skill-building, help from others, and reflection. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, who coined the term growth mindset, says that having a growth mindset is having a passion for stretching ourselves and sticking with something even when it is not easy or going well. With that in mind, an easily navigable path leads from gratitude to a growth mindset. By expressing gratitude regularly and appreciating what we have, we are pointing out to ourselves how our efforts have led to improved skills or new abilities. 

  • Consider an evening practice of recalling and writing down five things that occurred that day for which you are grateful – Try to increase the number over time. See how your attention may change during the day if you know you must report your blessings each evening. Perhaps you would seek out moments for gratitude otherwise unseen? These do not need to be historic happenings. They can and are simple moments; when someone offers you a smile, the sun shines on your face, or a favorite song comes on the radio. Whatever it is, notice it and write it down in the evening. We all have countless moments to be grateful for when looking through the lens of blessings rather than being too absorbed in worldly things. 

  • Tune Into Blessings that Occurred to You Reflecting the Sefirot Connection of Each Day – Your Sefirot Soul Accounting can be finetuned by relating to the sefirah of the week with its combination of the sefirah of the day. For example, on the day of Chesed of Netzach, tune into good deeds of extending yourself through tenacity that you accomplished. Another example may be to count your victories, even small ones, such as overcoming an urge to binge, during the week of Netzach associated with tenacity and victory. 

  • Count Your “Not-Yet-Perfect” Blessings – Acknowledge the baby steps you take on your journey toward tikun and self-improvement. It is the process rather than the project that matters or the effort rather than the end result that counts in Hashem’s eyes. If you began to speak lashon hara (evil speech) but caught yourself and instead of speaking 100 words only spoke 20 that too is a partial victory for which to be grateful. Keep recognizing and acknowledging your efforts towards becoming a better person more aligned with Hashem’s will. 

No comments:

Post a Comment