Parashat Nitzavim-Vayelech: How Do We Reveal Hashem’s Presence Within the Darkest Darkness?

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Parashat Nitzavim Vayelech
How Do We Reveal Hashem’s Presence Within the Darkest Darkness? 

What blocks the Divine Light from illuminating my Life and making it fruitful?
This morning, as I examined my vegetable patch in my back garden, I noticed that the pepper plants I had planted a while back were all alive and growing, but none sprouted a single pepper fruit. In the past, I was able to grow an abundance of cherry tomatoes and pepper fruits in that same spot. What had changed? I lifted my face upward and noticed how both the mulberry and the pecan trees had grown to become humongous, overhanging and shading my little vegetable patch. These trees were hiding all the light from my poor vegetables, preventing them from truly flourishing. At times we can all identify with my unproductive pepper plants. We may be working hard to grow and let grow, trying many different avenues, but something is blocked. We may bump into one iron barricade after the other, each one seemingly more impenetrable. “Why? Why is this happening to me?” We ask ourselves. “What does Hashem want from me?” It all comes down to bringing more light into our lives. Light is the most essential element for all growth. Just as my pepper plants need light to produce fruits, we also need to unblock all the iron barricades that block the light from shining through. “Yes,” I’m thinking to myself, “I will need to have the trees pruned to let in the light.” But what are ‘the trees’ in my life that block the light from entering my personal path? Now before Rosh Hashana is the time to reflect on our lives and return to Hashem, to allow His Divine Light to penetrate our mind, body, and soul. Especially at this time, we all need to ask ourselves, How can I open the physical, emotional, and spiritual blocks that prevent me from letting Hashem’s light enter? Which thoughts, speech, or actions block the Divine Light from illuminating my life and making it fruitful?

Can We Temper Our Desire for the Revelation of the Final Redemption?
With the war in Israel lingering on, it is easy to lose hope. Never in the history of the State of Israel have we undergone such an extended war. Although we experience glimpses of Hashem’s light shining through the miracles He performs and the victories He generates for us, it is still hard to stay connected to the Light of Hashem through all the pain of accumulated burials of young life before yielding fruit. How can we bear the increasing number of widows, orphans, and soldiers wounded for life? It is like the pressure is building up, and we are almost exploding in our yearning for Hashem to reveal ALL His light and bring us Geulah (the final redemption) already. Little glimpses of light are not enough. “We want Mashiach now, we don’t want to wait!” In the past, I didn’t connect to this song, as Rambam clearly states that we patiently must await the Mashiach, so how could we demand him to come now?  

“Anyone who does not believe in him, or does not await his coming, denies not only the statements of the other prophets but those of the Torah and Moshe, our teacher. The Torah testified to his coming, as it states:

“G-d will bring back your captivity and have mercy upon you. He will again gather you from among the nations... Even if your Diaspora is at the ends of the heavens, G-d will gather you up from there... and bring you to the land...” (Devarim 30-3-5). These explicit words of the Torah include all the statements made by all the prophets Rambam, Mishnah Torah, Hilchot Melachim 11:1).

I understood these laws of the Rambam to refer to the  B’nei Efraim who met their early death because they left Egypt before its time, as Rashi explains based on the Mechilta: “…They slew the children of Efraim, who hastened the end and went out [of Egypt] forcibly, as delineated in (I Divrei Hayamim 7:21-22); (Rashi, Shemot 15:14). Based on the Rambam and the story of the B’nei Efraim, I believe that we must be patient and not push for Mashiach before it’s time, just like we cannot push out the baby before the womb is sufficiently dilated. Yet, on the other hand, something is happening in Israel that is beyond the rational. The tension is building up so strongly that it’s impossible to be patient, for we cannot temper our desire to finally release this built-up tension through the revelation of the final redemption.

Overcoming the Tendency to Believe That -D is no Longer in Our Midst
How will we reveal Hashem’s light to dwell among us? To answer this question, we must ask ourselves, “What caused the darkness in the first place?” Parashat Vayelech gives us a clue:

ספר דברים פרק לא  פסוק יז וְחָרָה אַפִּי בוֹ בַיּוֹם הַהוּא וַעֲזַבְתִּים וְהִסְתַּרְתִּי פָנַי מֵהֶם וְהָיָה לֶאֱכֹל וּמְצָאֻהוּ רָעוֹת רַבּוֹת וְצָרוֹת וְאָמַר בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא הֲלֹא עַל כִּי אֵין אֱלֹהַי בְּקִרְבִּי מְצָאוּנִי הָרָעוֹת הָאֵלֶּה: (יח) וְאָנֹכִי הַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר פָּנַי בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא עַל כָּל הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה כִּי פָנָה אֶל אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים:

“Then My fury will rage against them on that day, and I will abandon them and hide My face from them, and they will be consumed, and many evils and troubles will befall them, and they will say on that day, ‘Is it not because our G-d is no longer in my midst, that these evils have befallen me?’ I will hide My face on that day, because of all the evil they have committed, when they turned to other deities” (Devarim 31:17-18).

According to Netivot Shalom, when the Jewish people experienced trouble, they complained that the source of their troubles was that G-d no longer was in their midst. Rather than feeling pain for their essential separation from G-d, their pain was due to the troubles they experienced. They were focusing on the pain of their troubles and blaming them on G-d’s withdrawing His Presence, rather than focusing on the pain of losing their closeness to G-d. By accepting that G-d was no longer in their midst as an unchangeable fact, they showed a lack of emunah that Hashem always dwells among us even within our impurity (Vayikra 16:17). Since every Jew is a part of the Divine, no power can disconnect us from our Heavenly Father, unless we want to disconnect, G-d forbid. Hashem’s hiding His face is like a father who sometimes hides himself from his son, without abandoning him even for a moment. He just wants to test His son, for the wise son knows that it can’t be that his Father would forsake him. Rather he believes that Hashem always watches over him with Divine supervision. Even if he, (G-d forbid) committed the worst kind of sin, he must believe that Hashem always accepts his heartfelt penitent prayer. The main goal of the yetzer hara (negative impulse) is not to make someone sin, rather it is to cause a feeling of despair following the sin, to make him feel that G-d has completely forsaken him due to his depravity. We must be strong against this temptation of despair and believe that Hashem never forsakes us. He only hides His face from us. Therefore, the biggest flaw is not the sin in itself – however severe – but the faulty belief that “G-d is no longer in my midst” which brings about the ripple effect that “G-d will hide His face on that day…” The double languageהַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר /haster astir – “hide, I will hide” corresponds to the double hiding, due to the sin itself, but even more so due to the sin of falling into despair.

The Shechinah Resides Within the Darkest Partitions
The dividing walls we experience between us and Hashem are caused by lust, bad character traits, annoyances due to worldly matters, and grief caused by painful experiences. Each of these comprises a dividing wall blocking us from reaching our Blessed Creator. Yet, none of these dividing partitions are as troublesome as the partition implanted in a Jew’s heart making him believe he is far from Hashem. Falling prey to despair that there is no healing for feeling separated from Hashem, G-d forbid, results in truly moving away and disconnecting from Hashem’s presence. This faulty belief is the hardest dividing wall, worse than the separations caused by lust or confusion. We must strengthen our belief that all the dividing walls are only illusions. We do have the ability to skip over them all and reveal the King. “From the depths of the husks we can call out to Hashem, as it states, “From the depths I have called You, O Hashem.” (Tehillim 130:1). Even an iron barricade cannot separate between Israel and our Heavenly Father. “But Hashem took you and brought you out of the iron pot, out of Egypt, to be His people” (Devarim 4:20). Even if a Jew sins, he always remains a Jew (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 44a).  During the revelation at Sinai, there were three partitions of darkness hiding Hashem: חֹשֶׁךְ/Chosheh – “darkness,” עָנָן/anan – “cloud,” and עֲרָפֶל/arafel – “thick fog” or “thick darkness” (Devarim 4:11). The latter was the densest of all the separations. Nevertheless, “Moshe drew near to the thick darkness where G-d was” (Shemot 20:18). In order to come close to Hashem we need to go through each of the three dark partitions while believing with steadfast emunah that it is precisely within the darkest darkness that we can find Hashem. The numerical value of the Hebrew word הָעֲרָפֶל/ha’arafel – ‘thick fog’ equals הַשְּׁכִינָה/HaShechinah – ‘the Shechinah.’ As King Shlomo proclaimed, “Hashem said that He would dwell in the עֲרָפֶל/arafel – ‘thick darkness” (I Melachim 8:12). Likewise, Moshe revealed that it is specifically within the very darkest darkness that G-d resides! So instead of moaning over feeling separated from Hashem through iron barricades, we can be grateful for the dividing walls which can serve as portals to get even closer to the light of the Divine indwelling Presence hiding precisely within the darkest dividing wall. The more we strengthen our emunah that the Divine light is found within our darkness, the more we will be able to reveal the light!

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Vayelech –
Tips on Unblocking the Dark Dividing Walls that Separate Between Us and G-d

Hashem incorporated in creation, day and night – light and darkness. It is natural to experience ups and downs – ebbs and flows of closeness and separation from Hashem. The lows help us appreciate the highs so much more. While it is challenging to experience the hiding of Hashem’s Face in our lives, it helps when we remember that this spiritual darkness is part of a movement toward the light, without night we wouldn’t even notice the break of day. Like the waves in the ocean, at times we rise to our peak, and at other times we fall down in a thunderous crash. Life is about riding the waves, not allowing ourselves to go under – by being swallowed by the darkest sea-bed in a bone-breaking crash. Rather we must keep riding the waves as the cycle continues until the tide changes in gloaming light. Below are some practical tips for riding the waves, to reveal His light even within the darkest dark.

·       When You Open Your Eyes in the Morning, Recite Modeh Ani With Thankful Intentions – that Hashem woke you up from the darkness of night, to offer you a new delightful day. Awake with belief in G-d, for He believes in you and grants you another day to search for and discover His light. Hashem is playing the hide-and-seek game we used to play as kids. Let’s tackle the challenge with childish playfulness and gratitude.

·       Amplify and Spread Hashem’s Light by Reaching out to Others – There is no sweeter medicine for a bitter soul than to do a mitzvah and kindness for others. Visiting a sick person, helping take care of her needs, welcoming a new neighbor with a fruit basket, baking a cake for a simcha (happy occasion), and supporting a needy person. These are just a few examples of how you can elevate yourself through raising others.

·       Count Your Blessings and be Thankful for Being in a Better Place – Recalling even the little drops of goodness in your life will help you feel closer to Hashem, the Source of your blessings. I love this story of Rachel and Rabbi Akiva: When the daughter of Kalba Shavu’a betrothed herself to Rabbi Akiva, her father vowed to dispossess her. The young couple were so poor they had to sleep on straw, and Rabbi Akiva had to pick out the straw from his hair… Later Eliyahu came to them in the guise of a beggar who cried out at the door: “Give me some straw, for my wife in her confinement. I have nothing for her to lie on.” “See!” Rabbi Akiva observed to his wife, “There is even someone poorer than us, this man who lacks even straw” (Babylonian Talmud, Nedarim 50a).

·       Speak to Hashem and Call Him to Come out of His Hiding – If you feel far from Hashem, and are stumbling over walls of division, cry out from the depth of your desperation. Your yearning for Divine revelation will draw the Divine presence to you and uncover His hiding. Use your darkest moments as a springboard to bring about the greatest revelations in your life!

Parashat Ki Tavo: How Does the Mitzvah of The First Fruit Offering Inculcate Gratitude?

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Parashat Ki Tavo
How Does the Mitzvah of The First Fruit Offering Inculcate Gratitude? 

Struggling to Notice the Blessings While Living in Limbo
Recently I have been feeling a bit down. The long-winding war and all the other long-winding matters in its wake are difficult to carry. Although I teach my students daily to “keep up the good emunah!” At times I, myself, struggle with living in limbo. Sometimes I ask myself and Hashem about all the things I keep praying for every single day, “What’s gonna be? What’s gonna be?” A picture of wounded soldiers with steel legs stirred my soul and made my tears flow, thinking of the hardships facing these brave young men and their families for years to come. While it aroused much sadness in my heart, this picture simultaneously instilled a feeling of immense gratitude, for my own lot in life. It’s like when I was a kid, and my parents reminded me about the starving children in Africa, and how grateful I ought to be to have my needs met in abundance. Today, in the Western world when most of us have our basic physical needs met, I believe our main problem is loneliness – that arises from not feeling understood. One of my spiritual healing clients complained that she was unhappy and lonely. It turned out that this woman was a successful professional, and although she had suffered much grief in the past, she was surrounded by children and grandchildren one of whom even lived with her. She had a good friend with whom she did weekly excursions, and a Torah community, where she was actively performing various acts of chesed.  So, why was she unhappy and lonely? Because she had programmed herself to focus on the glass being half empty! In my experience, it is not success and wealth that bring about happiness, it is our attitude to notice the blessings in our lives even if they hide behind a murky façade.  So, even if things don’t go our way – especially when they don’t – it is time to count our blessings. That’s what makes them increase. As I pray for all single women to find their soulmate, I thank G-d for the wonderful, supportive, loyal husband who loves me! While praying for our soldiers’ protection and healing of the wounded, I remind myself to thank Hashem for having two healthy, able-bodied sons. In my concern for the Jews in exile and prayer for their speedy return to the land of Israel, I thank Hashem that I have the merit to live in the Promised Land, in the scenic Village of Bat Ayin, tending a beautiful home with a large surrounding garden. Even if not all the plants and flowers survive, and although the fruit has worms that I spend hours cutting off, I must focus on the beauty of the flowers that do bloom and the divine taste of the fruit wedges I do manage to salvage.

The Ultimate Blessing is Being Aware of the Benefits We Receive
“Who is rich? He who rejoices from his lot” (Pirke Avot 4:1). Rashi adds that we may have all the riches in the world, but if we are unable to appreciate our blessings, we are no better off than the poorest of the poor.  This concept is elucidated in Parashat Ki Tavo, in the introduction to listing the blessings: “All these blessings will come upon you, and they will reach you…” (Devarim 28:2). What does it mean that the blessings “will reach you?” We learn from this expression that the ultimate blessing is to be aware of the benefits we receive. We can only truly be blessed when the blessings reach us deep within – when we become aware of and internalize the appreciation for our blessings. Gratitude is so central to Judaism that we begin every day with “modeh ani,” thanking Hashem for believing in us and granting us another day to serve Him. A great part of our prayers are blessings of thanksgiving. Furthermore, the blessings we make over food and for the opportunity to observe a mitzvah are for the sake of instilling the feeling of thankfulness within us. Gratitude is so essential in the Torah, that we must even extend it to inanimate objects. Moshe didn’t strike the Nile, since it protected him as an infant. Instead, Aharon hit it to bring about the plague of blood or frogs (Midrash Tanchuma, Va’era 14). By showing gratitude even to objects that lack feelings, a person acquires hakarat hatov (recognition of the good) as a character trait not necessarily dependent on the emotional state of the other party. Hence, failing to have gratitude for inanimate objects constitutes a character flaw, as Meiri explains (Bava Kama 92b) regarding the ingratitude of throwing a stone into a well from which we drunk: “Anyone who does this demonstrates a lack of good character and a debased and despicable nature.” Showing gratitude to inanimate objects fosters the trait, so a person will subsequently express gratitude to people who benefit them (Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler, Michtav M’Eliyahu III, pp. 95-101). Whereas Heaven determines our lot in life and its gifts, we employ our free will through our attitude to whatever life dishes out for us. It may be more natural to notice the lacks, and occasions for dissatisfaction and sorrow, yet we rise to our greatness precisely by making the extra effort to search for the nuggets of blessings in our lives. With “an attitude of gratitude,” we learn to recognize the blessing of the simple and important things in life such as a roof over our heads, healthy children, food to eat, and a family to love. “What more do we need?” (Based on Dr. Laura Segall, Gratitude – Parashat Ki Tavo).

The Essence of the Mitzvah of the First Fruit Offering is Expressing Gratitude
One of the main mitzvot designated to inculcate gratitude is Mitzvat Bikkurim – The mitzvah of the First fruit offering. Indeed, the “essence of the mitzvah of bikkurim is gratitude” (Rabbi A. Twersky MD).

ספר דברים פרק כו פסוק ג וּבָאתָ אֶל הַכֹּהֵן אֲשֶׁר יִהְיֶה בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם וְאָמַרְתָּ אֵלָיו...

“You shall come to the kohen who will be [serving] in those days and say to him…” (Devarim 26:3).

“…And say to him: that you are not ungrateful [for all that Hashem has done for you]” (Rashi). The foundation of the mitzvah of bringing bikkurim lies in our appreciation for the Creator, as expressed in the text read during the bikkurim when we recall the goodness of our Creator who raised us out of lowliness to possess the Holy Land and grow its blessed fruit. “For we were commanded to recount His kindnesses which He has bestowed upon us, and which has saved us” (Rambam (Sefer Hamitzvot, Positive Mitzvah 132). The expression of gratitude for the fruit we receive is cause for great celebration. This gratitude refers to the recitation that accompanies the first fruit offering from the seven species of the Land of Israel, (Devarim 8:8), during Temple times. It is the only offering in the Torah preceded by a speech, there was musical accompaniment, and the Levi’im sang their greetings to the fruit bearers, bringing a real element of simcha, joy, to the event. The Bikkurim Recital is a brief synopsis of how the Jewish people began through lowliness, slavery, and suffering, emphasizing that it was only by the grace of G-d that we were liberated and granted the land of Israel. This recital is an act of appreciation for the bounty provided by Hashem. Without the exodus and Divine assistance in conquering the land of Canaan, there would be no Jewish nation in the land of Israel. Without Hashem’s blessings, there would be no produce. The narrative of goodness, beginning with Ya’acov and Lavan and culminating with bringing the first fruits of our land to the Temple, also encompasses the measure of humility, the ability of a person to recognize that everything comes from G-d, as Rambam said (Guide for the Perplexed III §39). Sefer HaChinuch describes the message of the recitation: “It is suitable for us to awaken our heart with the words of our mouth and contemplate that everything we have comes from the Master of the Universe. We must recount G-d’s kindness, upon us and the people of Israel.” The sentence following the recitation states, “And you shall rejoice in all the good granted to you by Hashem your G-d” (Devarim 26:11). Once we verbalize our gratitude to Hashem, we can truly rejoice over all the goodness He keeps granting us!

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Ki Tavo –
Tips on Expressing Your Gratitude to Hashem and Anyone Who has Benefitted Us

The mitzvah of bikkurim, which expresses gratitude for G-d’s goodness, “is most essential, for it is the foundation of all things and encompasses everything” (Rabbi Moshe Alshich, Devarim 26:1). The offering of the ‘first’ of everything we have represents our recognition that G-d is the Master of ALL our possessions and that He is the source of our bounty. What is the trait of hakarat hatov? (recognizing the good) We must show gratitude to those who help us. Just as we would show our appreciation for Hashem with our first fruit gift basket during temple times, sending a gift to anyone who has benefited us is a way to say a lot without many words. The late motivational writer William Arthur Ward said: “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Let’s remember to show appreciation to Hashem – the Source of our blessings and extend our appreciation to anyone who has done us a favor!

• Make a Conscious Effort to Dedicate the Beginning of Everything You Do to Hashem – as appreciation for His blessings. The Biala Rebbe explains based on his father’s teachings the Divrei Bina that in every matter a person needs to make a conscious effort that its beginning should be for the sake of heaven, for everything goes after the beginning. In heaven, they calculate mainly the beginning of the thoughts of a person, whether through fulfilling the Torah and the Mitzvot, or through physical matters, the beginning of intention needs to be for Hashem. When we have pure intentions in our every deed, to dedicate its beginning to Hashem, we fulfill the mitzvah of Bikurim even more than during Temple times! (Rabbi Ben Tzion Rabinowitz, Shulchan Adam Mekaper, A Person’s Table Atones, Chapter 5). 
• How do We Best Thank Someone Who Has Helped Us? – Should we always give a gift in return, or is simply saying “thank you” enough? There is no black-and-white answer to this question. Often, just “thanks,” combined with other words of appreciation, is a sufficient way of showing appreciation. Yet, giving a gift, flowers, fruit, a bottle of wine or a plant is a beautiful way of showing appreciation to anyone who has helped us. 
• Give gifts of Appreciation to those who have Extended Themselves to You – There is no better way to show appreciation than through gift giving. Although it’s the intention that counts try to carefully select a gift that the receiver will appreciate. Just as the first fruit offering was presented in a beautifully decorated basket, gifts should be nicely wrapped; presentation is as important as the content.
• Send a Real Snail Mail Thank You Letter of Appreciation – to someone who hosted you for a meal, visited you when you were sick, or helped you during other hardships.
• Choose a Gift Your Recipient Will Love – Choosing a thank-you gift requires thought and creativity. The primary reason we get a thank-you gift is to show appreciation, which means taking the time to find something the receiver will enjoy. When choosing a thank-you gift, let the recipient’s interests guide your choices. Consider who they are and their hobbies, and then keep your selection in line with something you believe they’ll love. Thank-you gifts are from the heart. Selecting a particular kind of flower or plant that you think the recipient loves is sensible. Get her something related to her passion, that she likely will use and enjoy. The bikkurim was presented beautifully, likewise, a beautifully wrapped gift shows more appreciation.     
• A Thank-You Gift Should Always Include a Heartfelt Thank-You Note – If someone has gone out of their way for you, then including written words along with your gift makes the gesture much more meaningful. Whether you handwrite a letter or include a gift tag with the recipient’s name and a short message, making it personal gives it a special touch. Here is an example of a thank-you note:

Dear [Name], 

Thank you so much for [favor/act of kindness]. You’re an amazing person, and your generosity means a lot to me. I know how much you love [reason you chose the gift], so when I saw this [gift], I knew I had to get it for you. Enjoy!

[Your Name]

• How to Express Your Appreciation When Giving a Gift – Verbally letting someone know how grateful you are for their generosity is a lovely gesture they’re sure to appreciate. If you’re at a loss for words when presenting a thank-you gift, then it is best to keep it short and simple.            
• Put Effort into Expressing Thanks But Don’t Overthink It – The effort you spend on a gift will be noticed and appreciated. The bottom line is to put your heart into it. Ironically, putting too much thought into selecting a gift can lead to choosing a gift that represents your own ideas instead of something the recipient would actually want. A thank-you gift is a wonderful way to show your appreciation while leaving a lasting impression. Sending a thank you gift, such as wine, sweet treats, personalized gifts, or thank you baskets, is never a bad idea, and even the smallest gesture can go a long way. Gratitude never goes out of style.

Parashat Ki Tetze: How Do We Learn to Appreciate Our Happy Occasions by Erecting a Fence on our Roof?

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Parashat Ki Tetze
How Do We Learn to Appreciate Our Happy Occasions by Erecting a Fence on our Roof? 

Respecting and Caring for Our Home – The Extension of Our Selves                                            One day after teaching at B’erot while looking for a certain book, another unexpected book rolled into my hand. “What is a book about space clearing and Feng Shui doing at a Midrasha library?” I asked myself. “Hmm, looks interesting, let me take it home and look into it.” It so happened that I had planned to do a thorough Rosh Hashanna cleaning of my home during the summer vacation, since my mom hadn’t graced us with a visit in more than a year, I didn’t have the occasion for some deep cleaning, and it showed! So perhaps the space-clearing book would come in handy. I was planning to return it to B’erot after reading it, but although it was donated to B’erot in the memory of a loved one, I found it so filled with idol worship. Therefore, as part of my Torah space-clearing I had to get rid of it after filtering out the nuggets. Many of the good ideas in the book are familiar to me. Hailing from generations of mothers who take pride in their homes, I always knew that our home is an extension of ourselves, and we need to treat it with respect and care. For me, this entails keeping my windows clean as the windows are the eyes of our home. They affect the way we view life. If our windows are grimy, our vision of life may be restricted. Yet, being a collector of stuff (as a child I collected napkins, stamps, beads, and more) clutter is my biggest problem. So, the book helped me understand how clutter is stuck energy. Clutter accumulates when energy stagnates. Healthy energy is moving energy, when we get rid of everything in our lives that has no real meaning for us, we literally feel lighter in body, mind, and spirit. When everything we keep around us is sacred to us, our whole life becomes sacred. With my limited time, I go through the process of clearing the space of my home gradually, room by room. Getting rid of the extra stuff (like my old computer which I hadn’t used in 2 years) and the spiderwebs behind the bed, is such a great feeling of renewal, it is almost as if I’m moving into a new home! This is suitable as I’m celebrating one more year around the sun and the moon when we read my Bat Mitzvah Parasha  Ki Tetze.

Blessing Hashem for the Opportunity to Make a Guard Rail

I like to be busy, perhaps because I was born during the busiest Parasha of the year: Parshat Ki Tetze which is filled with mitzvot, 74, to be exact. This is the most mitzvot in any parsha of the Torah. One of my favorite Mitzvot that I had the merit to do twice is the mitzvah to put a rail on your roof. I recall 25 years ago exactly, at the beginning of the month of Elul, we moved into our current home with an elevated flat porch. Since it was my birthday, my husband left me one nail to hammer in to complete the guard rail. It was very emotional for me, and I almost cried when I recited the Bracha: 

 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לַעֲשֹוֹת מַעֲקֶה:

“Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Ha’olam Asher Kidishanu bemitzvotav vetzivanu la’azot Me’akeh.” …Who has commanded me to make a rail.” Although the general rule not to recite a blessing for removing any danger, when a roof is obligated to have a fence, many Poskim (from Rambam, Brachot 11:8, to Likkutei Sichos Ki Seitzei 2 p. 89) rule that a blessing is recited. The reason that a blessing is said upon building a fence is because the mitzvah of making a fence is in addition to the mitzvah of preventing danger from our home, so it deserves its own blessing (1 Imrei Ya’akov 10:16; Shulchan Aruch HaRav, Should a blessing be recited when building a fence around a roof?). The second time I merited to fulfill the mitzvah of making a fence was in 2018 when we planted the memorial garden for my father near the then-new retreat center. Since the backyard of B’erot land hadn’t been developed until then I only then discovered that there was a very steep incline at the end of our land and if a child would run fast in that direction, he could G-d forbid fall down the cliff, and I don’t even want to think about how grave that danger would be. So, I was again moved by the feeling of being engaged in such an important mitzvah when I quickly had a fence installed all around the edge of B’erot backyard land. 

Gratitude for the Opportunity of Doing a Mitzvah that Leads to More Mitzvot

ספר דברים פרק כב פסוק ח כִּי תִבְנֶה בַּיִת חָדָשׁ וְעָשִׂיתָ מַעֲקֶה לְגַגֶּךָ וְלֹא תָשִׂים דָּמִים בְּבֵיתֶךָ כִּי יִפֹּל הַנֹּפֵל מִמֶּנּוּ:

“When you build a new house, you shall make a guard rail for your roof, so that you shall not cause blood [to be spilled] in your house, that the one who falls should fall from it [the roof]” (Devarim 22:8).

It is a positive mitzvah to make a fence on his roof as it says, “You shall make a fence for your roof.” Anyone who leaves his roof without a fence has nullified a positive command and has transgressed a negative command as the verse continues, “Do not spill blood in your home.” This refers to building a gate or fence around the roof of our home to prevent anyone from falling from it. So, by building a fence on our roof we fulfill both a positive and negative Torah commandment. Rashi makes me appreciate this mitzvah and the rest of the 74 mitzvot in Parashat Ki Tetze even more when he explains the domino effect of the sequence of one mitzvah leading to another. If you have fulfilled the commandment of “sending away the mother bird from her nest,” you will eventually build a new house and fulfill the mitzvah of “guard-rail,” because the fulfillment of one mitzvah leads to another. You will then come to possess a vineyard, a field, and fine clothes. Therefore, these passages are juxtaposed (Rashi, Devarim 22:8). How awesome is it to contemplate the concept of מִצְוָה גּוֹרֶרֶת מִצְוָה/mitzvah gorreret mitzvah – “One mitzvah pulls along another” (Pirkei Avot 4:2).  Hashem, in His, kindness has imbued in His mitzvot an accumulative mechanism to grant us more merit.  When I think about the layers of opportunities of doing just one little mitzvah of the 74 mitzvot in Parashat Ki Tetze, I’m filled with immense gratitude.

Elevating All Our Happy Occasions to Hashem Alluded to in Your Roof 

When we arrive at any happy occasion bestowed upon us by the Blessed Creator, we must express our happiness within the letters of the Torah. This way we express our gratitude for the happy occasion through prayer, songs, and praises to allow our happiness to cleave to the Above – to the Blessed Creator.  All this is alluded to in “When you build a new house…” This can be understood to refer to the general happiness for anything new. “…Then you must make a rail guard” – this is to elevate your happy occasion through the letters of the Torah. This is the meaning of the “rail” that is built in the highest places. This is also alluded to in the word גַגֶּךָ/gagecha – “your roof,” for its numerical value is 26 the gematria of Hashem’s four-lettered Name. Through the wording of the mitzvah of making a rail on your roof, we bring our happiness into the letters of Hashem’s name. These letters of Hashem’s name refer to the inner will that moves all the letters and everything in the universe forward (Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev, Kedushat Levi, Parashat Ki Tetze). The Kedushat Halevi teaches us a deeper revelation about the ideal form of enjoying joy. Just as we may experience joy when building a new house, so can we build up and elevate any new joy we experience. It starts with the realization that it all comes from G-d and we need to demonstrate gratitude to Him. Just as we may build a rail on our roof – the highest point of our house – so can we direct our highest emotions of joy toward gratitude. By articulating gratitude through words of Torah, prayer, songs, and praises to G-d, we can connect our joy to its divine source. The power and force behind the words of praise we use is the name of Hashem. Its numerical value (26) is identical to the numerical value of “your roof” (26) showing the deep connection between these concepts. When we experience joy and raise it up by being grateful to Hashem – its ultimate source – by articulating and exhibiting gratitude, using holy words directed to G-d – we extend, enhance, and raise our joy to a continued higher dimension.

Erecting the Rail of Setting Limits in Life 

Besides alluding to any joyous occasion, building a new home also reflects our selves. The mitzvah to build a fence around our home teaches us that it’s not enough to serve Hashem through love, because this could cause us, G-d forbid, to fall into the lusts and lower worldly pleasures. Therefore, we need to also serve Hashem out of יִרְאָה/yirah –‘awe.’ “When you build a new house” – when you want to build holiness through your good deeds, then you must make a fence on your root, referring to the ‘awe’ needed to guard the אַהֲבָה/ahavah – ‘love.’ The word ahavah 2x equals 26, the numerical value of גַגֶּךָ/gagecha – “your roof,” while yirah equals 215, the numerical value of מַעֲקֶה/ma’akeh – “rail” with the kollel (counting 1 for the word itself). This teaches us that only through both awe and love together can we serve Hashem wholeheartedly (Imrei Yosef, Parashat Tetze). Along the same lines Rav Chaim Mordechai Rosenbaum of Nadvorna, in Devar Chaim suggests that erecting a fence on our roof can symbolize setting responsible limits in life. Our home may also represent the totality of our material existence. The mitzvah to erect a fence urges us to set limits on our expenditures of obtaining material comforts.  Just as a home, which is meant to provide us with safety and security, could cause danger without a physical barrier around the rooftop, likewise, the process of securing material comforts could pose the risk of financial ruin without a “fence” – i.e. without appropriate limits. In our quest for luxury and enjoyment, we might end up hurting ourselves through reckless spending.  The Torah warns us to erect a “fence” around our “home,” to exercise discipline so that our “home,” will be a source of blessing, and will not cause us to “fall” into the trap of the yetzer hara (negative impulse). The Torah’s mention of a new house provides a paradigm for all general growth. Because bigger houses come with bigger challenges. The more we engage the outside world, the more we must protect ourselves from falling. How do we protect ourselves? With a fence on our roof. This implies our protection is through something that is beyond ourselves. Simply put, the higher we rise, the tighter we need to connect to the One who will always be far above us. In this way, we will not fall. Neither will those who enter our house.

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Ki Tetze –

Some Tips on How to Appreciate Your Home

To feel genuine gratitude for all the comforts of your home, look on the bright side or that soothingly dark corner. This is your sanctuary that you want to make an abode for the Shechinah (Divine Indwelling Presence). It’s natural to get a little down on your home from time to time, this gives you the impetus for renewal, which will affect your life positively. Feeling content at home is available to everyone, no matter the size or condition of your space. By appreciating your home and developing a relationship with it you can gain a deeper appreciation of your house, and all the blessings Hashem imbues within it. 

• Consider What First Drew You to Your Home – No matter where you live, there was likely something that attracted you to your house when you first saw it. Was it the sunny yard, charming porch, or original wood floors? Once you are living in a place, it’s natural to focus more on home improvements. Yet, taking a moment to thank Hashem for the roof over your head and recalling the favorite things about your home help you feel gratitude. 

• Appreciate Your Home with Your Senses – you can zero in on the pleasures of home. Take a quick sensory tour of your home and note anything positive: the cozy comfort of your couch, the smell of coffee brewing, the feel of a fluffy rug between your toes. The aroma of Challot in the oven heralding the Shabbat Queen. 

• Imagine You’ve Just Been on a Long Trip – and you are arriving home for the first time in weeks. You close the door behind you and take a deep breath. What are you most looking forward to about being home at that moment? Think about the ways your home comforts and supports you and give thanks to Hashem for His perpetual protection. 

• Make Your Front Entrance Welcoming – Just as people enter and leave through the front door, so is it also a portal through which energy flows in and out of our lives. As you enter your home, what you see, and experience represents your approach to your own life. Leaving your home represents your approach to the outer world. Make a habit of kissing the mezuzah when you enter and leave your home, to recall the holiness that resides there. Keep your front path as clear and welcoming as possible, so that everyone will feel glad to enter. If you have a number or a name on your front door position the second and subsequent digit or letter slightly higher than the first. This will give you an energy lift every time you walk through your front door. 

• Consider the Mitzvah of Welcoming Guests – Is your home a source of mitzvot where various guests are welcome and taken care of? Make a point of keeping the energy of your home uplifting and relaxing to soothe anyone who walks through your door. 

• Plants and Flowers – Plants filter the air, increase the oxygen content, and generally lift the energy of a space. To offset the electromagnetic rays, have one plant per computer or television placed as near as possible to the equipment, and other plants as necessary to compensate for other electrical apparatus. Use plants that by their shape symbolically represent what you want to create. Round-leafed, upward-shooting plants work best. Avoid spiky plants in confined areas because they can cause arguments and irritation. Research funded by NASA discovered ways of cleaning the air in space capsules. They found that several ordinary types of houseplants have the ability to cleanse many of the most common pollutants from the air, including formaldehyde. They are Peace Lilies (Spathiphyllum Wallsisii); Peperomias; Arrowhead / Goose Foot Plant (Syngonium podophyllum); Dwarf Banana Plants, and Golden Pothos (Scindapsus Aureus).

• Your Bedroom – It is generally recommended to site bedrooms as far away from the front entrance as possible, especially the master bedroom. This will give you the sense that you can see things coming into your life and have time to consider your options and decide what is the best thing to do. If you sleep too close to the front door, things happen suddenly and take you by surprise, so you may miss opportunities and make choices you regret. When you feel more secure during sleep, you naturally feel more secure as you go about your life. It therefore becomes much easier to manifest Hashem’s will in your life. 

• Regard Your Home in a New Way – Consider collecting your thoughts in a gratitude journal. I also encourage you to pay attention to precisely what makes you feel grateful at home – thank Hashem for these blessings and work on increasing them! Then the blessings of your home will expand. As you are working in the garden, kneading challah dough, or reading a story to a child you will feel more content with things as they are. 

Parashat Shoftim: How Can We Overcome Fear During War?

 

Parashat Shoftim

How Can We Overcome Fear During War? 

Must We Fear Retaliation After Israel Attacks? 

We here in Bat Ayin, Israel, and around the world are actively awaiting the final Geulah (redemption) when Hashem will show His strong hand and perform revealed miracles even greater than in the Exodus from Egypt. Meanwhile, we experience innumerable hidden miracles, that attest to the overt miracles to come.  It is still a great test to trust in G-d and overcome any tinge of fear. I must admit that I became a bit worried when I heard that Israel’s airport shut down on Sunday, August 25, hours after my husband was safely on a flight to visit his mom in New Jersey for her 94th birthday. I didn’t know then that the shutdown would be brief, so I was concerned about my husband being able to return back home according to schedule. My mom told me very worriedly that the airport was closed because Israel had attached Lebanon and retaliation was expected. Many of my non-religious family members get terrified each time Israel strikes, in fear of reprisals. It seems that they are unaware that the only way to stop the terrorism of Islamic Yihad is by showing strength and making it clear that the Arabs have no capability to defeat us. Only then, According to Islamic law, are they exempt from their ‘mitzvah’ to wage war. Islam regards compromise as an expression of weakness. If compelled to agree to a cease-fire, they consider it only a respite to prepare for the continuation of war. In the interim, they will try to weaken their opponent through terrorist attacks and raids as we have experienced here in Israel over and over again. Their religion commands them to keep attacking till they defeat the enemy. If they are unable, at the very least they will attempt to sedate him with lies, and when the opportunity arises, they will attack again. All Muslims share the desire to return Arab rule over the Land of Israel. The debate between the moderates and the extremists is whether to conduct an overt, all-out war against us, or first, to emasculate and weaken the State of Israel using agreements and political pressure, and only afterward, take it by force. Any attempt at compromise or looking for a “political horizon,” instills hope within the Arabs that they can defeat us, and as a result, encourages terrorism and war (Based on Rabbi Eliezer Melamed, Israel and the West Opposite Islam). So, I had to remind myself and my mother, not to panic in fear of retaliation because only when Israel shows her strength can we be safe. 

Shaking off the Shackles of Fear to Experience Divine Protection

Later I found out about the amazing miracle that had taken place, and how Hashem is leading Israel to victory behind the scene. The recent preemptive strike by Israel on Lebanon is nothing short of an incredible miracle. From the news reports the Israeli army had about 30 minutes to coordinate 100 planes with 100 fighter pilots in the air together in formation to hit over 200 targets simultaneously to keep the element of surprise to avert Hezbollah’s planned attack. From 4:30 when the decision was made, 100 pilots were in the air all flying in formation ready to hit their targets before the 5 AM deadline that Hezbollah had set to launch an all-out attack of 6000 missiles towards Israeli civilians while they were still sleeping. Wow! That is nothing short of a historic miracle again after the recent one with Iran. Then on top of it, Hezbollah launched upwards of 320 missiles/projectiles at Israel of which very few hit their targets. So in a sense, it’s like a double miracle. If anyone is not thinking that G-d is protecting us, hopefully, this will be a wake-up call to realize the G-d of Israel has His hand over the Jewish people and our land. Once again, Israel gives military historians yet another miraculous military accomplishment to think about (Hananya Naftali, Israel News). Sadly, not everyone shares this outlook, but focus on the casualties, the uncertainty, and the fear. I totally understand mothers who struggle to fall asleep at night, when they have sons fighting on the front lines. It is indeed difficult to shake off the shackles of fear, and truly experience Divine protection.     

What Can We Do to Be Assured of Victory in War?

Most of the second half of Parashat Shoftim (Chapter 20) is devoted to the subject of warfare. The first principle of war for Israel is not to be afraid but to trust that Hashem will save us:

ספר דברים פרק כ פסוק א כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶךָ וְרָאִיתָ סוּס וָרֶכֶב עַם רַב מִמְּךָ לֹא תִירָא מֵהֶם כִּי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ (ג) וְאָמַר אֲלֵהֶם שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל אַתֶּם קְרֵבִים הַיּוֹם לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֵיכֶם אַל יֵרַךְ לְבַבְכֶם אַל תִּירְאוּ וְאַל תַּחְפְּזוּ וְאַל תַּעַרְצוּ מִפְּנֵיהֶם :(ד) כִּי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ עִמָּכֶם לְהִלָּחֵם לָכֶם עִם אֹיְבֵיכֶם לְהושִׁיעַ אֶתְכֶם:

“When you go out to war against your enemies, if you should see horses, chariots, and armies that outnumber you, you shall not be afraid of them, for Hashem your G-d is with you who took you out of the land of Egypt. When you draw close to the battlefield… Hear O Israel, today you draw close to wage war against your enemies. Let not your heart be faint, you shall not be afraid, do not fear, neither shall you be terrified because of them! For Hashem your G-d goes before you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you!” (Devarim 20:1, 2-3).

The strong message from these verses is to not fear for G-d will not abandon His people to defeat, as long as we trust in Him. Those who are afraid are therefore wisely exempted from war so that their fear will not become contagious and weaken the army morale. Rashi explains that if you execute righteous judgment, you can be assured of victory when you depart for war. Similarly, David says, “I performed justice and righteousness; do not leave me to my oppressors” (Tehillim 119: 121). - [Tanchuma] (Rashi, Devarim 20:1). This offers an interesting take on the fear of war, which essentially is the fear of sin (the opposite of performing justice and righteousness). Thus, the current war offers the opportunity to work on ourselves, to become the very best version of ourselves, so that we will have nothing to fear. The continuation of Rashi’s commentary also holds a pertinent message for our times: AGAINST YOUR ENEMIES - Let them be in your eyes as enemies; have no pity on them, for they will have no pity upon you. (Ibid.). In our time of liberalism and tolerance, the word “enemy” had almost become like an F word. There is virtue in seeing the good in everyone, even in our adversaries, but not to the detriment of our own lives. Rashi’s simple succinct message to not pity our enemies (whether civilian or not?!) is one of the main principles of war that we can learn from Parashat Shoftim. 

The Importance of Continuing to Build, Plant, and Raise Families in The Land of Israel 

There are three additional exemptions from war: 1. The man who has built a new house but has not yet dedicated it 2. The man who has planted a vineyard but has not yet eaten of its fruit? 3. The man who has betrothed a woman but has not yet taken her in marriage? (Devarim 20:5-7). Although we all cry for every fallen soldier, there is something even more tragic if a soldier about to be married dies. This would be a source of even greater grief (Rashi, Devarim 20:5). The grief caused by the house remaining incomplete, the vineyard untended and the woman bereft of her future husband is so overwhelming that it could cause despondency and giving up hope of a brighter future. The Torah message for us is that even as the war is raging, we must continue building houses, and inhabit them, plant vineyards, enjoy their fruit, and raise families. It is precisely because these three pursuits are in the national interest, that they must be continued even during war. Otherwise, the tragic repercussions of disrupting the continuous building up of our homeland, G-d forbid, would be more detrimental to the national morale than the fearful soldier. Rashi reminds us that we must continue to live, build cities, cultivate the earth, and raise children even during the war. Therefore, let these men return and be released from warfare so that they might show their compatriots that real victory over the enemy means never succumbing to despair. Rashi also has a vital message for those of us who aren’t enlisted in the army at this time. Our job in continuing to build, plant, and raise families in the land of Israel is no less vital. Let us not succumb to despair and let our gardens lay fallow. Now, more than ever is the time to dedicate ourselves to building our land and getting ready to sow the winter crop! 

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Shoftim –

Some Tips on How to Overcome Fear During War

War anxiety, sometimes known as nuclear anxiety, is a surprisingly common reaction to the news and images about conflict. We are still learning about the long-term effects of worries related to mass violence. A Finnish study found that adolescents worried about nuclear war were at increased risk for common mental disorders five years later. People prone to anxiety are also more likely to seek out media coverage of crises, which may perpetuate a cycle of distress. War anxiety can gradually sneak up on people, or it can present suddenly in response to a trigger. Symptoms can be in one’s mind, body, or both. Physical symptoms of anxiety may include a racing heart, butterflies in the stomach, nausea, or dizziness. Some people develop full-blown panic attacks. For others, war anxiety presents as worries that spiral out of control, trouble sleeping, restlessness, or nightmares. Others may feel numb. Keep in mind that anxiety is often an appropriate response to life stressors, and a small amount of anxiety is adaptive – it signals your body to take a threat seriously. When your mind is preoccupied by war, or when you experience muscle tension or other physical symptoms, here are some strategies that can help you break the anxiety cycle.

• Limit your media exposure. Emotionally gripping news sells, and news that affects you negatively is more likely to be addictive. Breaking the habit of checking the news regularly may be the single most effective change in combating war anxiety. Attempt to limit your exposure (including social media) to less than 30 minutes daily, and try to avoid exposure before bed.

• Reach out to others. Channeling anxiety into meaningful connection may lower your sense of helplessness. If you have a friend or acquaintance with a son on the frontlines, consider checking in to offer support. 

• Cultivate compassion. War anxiety can trigger anger, which also has its roots in loss of control. Anger can be directed toward populations or ethnic groups, or it may be displaced onto family members or friends with a different view. In addition to interventions such as mindfulness, physical activity, and breathing exercises, anger can be effectively challenged with compassion. Start by paying more attention to kindness around you, attempt to limit your judgments, and try to appreciate other perspectives.

• Change your routine. Limiting media exposure, news updates, and political discussions will increase your free time during the day. Unfortunately, unstructured time usually results in more worrying, as our brains are hard-wired to do. Try to incorporate these anxiety-reducing activities instead:

• Walk in the forest. Research suggests that as little as 15 minutes in nature can relieve stress and anxiety.

• Increase the intensity of your physical activity. Any aerobic activity can reduce anxiety, but the higher the intensity of exercise, the greater the effects on anxiety.

• Practice deep breathing and mindfulness. To reap the benefits, try to practice every day. Guided mindfulness can be done in person, or at home with CDs or mobile applications. Breathe, Relax is a free and evidence-based mobile app that teaches deep breathing exercises (Based on Stephanie Collier, MD, MPH, Contributor; Editorial Advisory Board Member, Harvard Health Publishing, War anxiety: How to cope, May 23, 2022).

• Notice Hashem’s miracles and practice seeing Hashem’s protective hand over Israel and your life. Breathe bitachon (trust) of Hashem into your heart and work on believing that Hashem knows what He is doing, and that all is for the best! 

• Don’t forget to thank Hashem for His miracles and protection. The more you keep thanking Hashem, the more peace of mind you will generate, for yourself and those around you!