Parashat Ki Tetze: How Do We Learn to Appreciate Our Happy Occasions by Erecting a Fence on our Roof?

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Parashat Ki Tetze
How Do We Learn to Appreciate Our Happy Occasions by Erecting a Fence on our Roof? 

Respecting and Caring for Our Home – The Extension of Our Selves                                            One day after teaching at B’erot while looking for a certain book, another unexpected book rolled into my hand. “What is a book about space clearing and Feng Shui doing at a Midrasha library?” I asked myself. “Hmm, looks interesting, let me take it home and look into it.” It so happened that I had planned to do a thorough Rosh Hashanna cleaning of my home during the summer vacation, since my mom hadn’t graced us with a visit in more than a year, I didn’t have the occasion for some deep cleaning, and it showed! So perhaps the space-clearing book would come in handy. I was planning to return it to B’erot after reading it, but although it was donated to B’erot in the memory of a loved one, I found it so filled with idol worship. Therefore, as part of my Torah space-clearing I had to get rid of it after filtering out the nuggets. Many of the good ideas in the book are familiar to me. Hailing from generations of mothers who take pride in their homes, I always knew that our home is an extension of ourselves, and we need to treat it with respect and care. For me, this entails keeping my windows clean as the windows are the eyes of our home. They affect the way we view life. If our windows are grimy, our vision of life may be restricted. Yet, being a collector of stuff (as a child I collected napkins, stamps, beads, and more) clutter is my biggest problem. So, the book helped me understand how clutter is stuck energy. Clutter accumulates when energy stagnates. Healthy energy is moving energy, when we get rid of everything in our lives that has no real meaning for us, we literally feel lighter in body, mind, and spirit. When everything we keep around us is sacred to us, our whole life becomes sacred. With my limited time, I go through the process of clearing the space of my home gradually, room by room. Getting rid of the extra stuff (like my old computer which I hadn’t used in 2 years) and the spiderwebs behind the bed, is such a great feeling of renewal, it is almost as if I’m moving into a new home! This is suitable as I’m celebrating one more year around the sun and the moon when we read my Bat Mitzvah Parasha  Ki Tetze.

Blessing Hashem for the Opportunity to Make a Guard Rail

I like to be busy, perhaps because I was born during the busiest Parasha of the year: Parshat Ki Tetze which is filled with mitzvot, 74, to be exact. This is the most mitzvot in any parsha of the Torah. One of my favorite Mitzvot that I had the merit to do twice is the mitzvah to put a rail on your roof. I recall 25 years ago exactly, at the beginning of the month of Elul, we moved into our current home with an elevated flat porch. Since it was my birthday, my husband left me one nail to hammer in to complete the guard rail. It was very emotional for me, and I almost cried when I recited the Bracha: 

 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לַעֲשֹוֹת מַעֲקֶה:

“Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Ha’olam Asher Kidishanu bemitzvotav vetzivanu la’azot Me’akeh.” …Who has commanded me to make a rail.” Although the general rule not to recite a blessing for removing any danger, when a roof is obligated to have a fence, many Poskim (from Rambam, Brachot 11:8, to Likkutei Sichos Ki Seitzei 2 p. 89) rule that a blessing is recited. The reason that a blessing is said upon building a fence is because the mitzvah of making a fence is in addition to the mitzvah of preventing danger from our home, so it deserves its own blessing (1 Imrei Ya’akov 10:16; Shulchan Aruch HaRav, Should a blessing be recited when building a fence around a roof?). The second time I merited to fulfill the mitzvah of making a fence was in 2018 when we planted the memorial garden for my father near the then-new retreat center. Since the backyard of B’erot land hadn’t been developed until then I only then discovered that there was a very steep incline at the end of our land and if a child would run fast in that direction, he could G-d forbid fall down the cliff, and I don’t even want to think about how grave that danger would be. So, I was again moved by the feeling of being engaged in such an important mitzvah when I quickly had a fence installed all around the edge of B’erot backyard land. 

Gratitude for the Opportunity of Doing a Mitzvah that Leads to More Mitzvot

ספר דברים פרק כב פסוק ח כִּי תִבְנֶה בַּיִת חָדָשׁ וְעָשִׂיתָ מַעֲקֶה לְגַגֶּךָ וְלֹא תָשִׂים דָּמִים בְּבֵיתֶךָ כִּי יִפֹּל הַנֹּפֵל מִמֶּנּוּ:

“When you build a new house, you shall make a guard rail for your roof, so that you shall not cause blood [to be spilled] in your house, that the one who falls should fall from it [the roof]” (Devarim 22:8).

It is a positive mitzvah to make a fence on his roof as it says, “You shall make a fence for your roof.” Anyone who leaves his roof without a fence has nullified a positive command and has transgressed a negative command as the verse continues, “Do not spill blood in your home.” This refers to building a gate or fence around the roof of our home to prevent anyone from falling from it. So, by building a fence on our roof we fulfill both a positive and negative Torah commandment. Rashi makes me appreciate this mitzvah and the rest of the 74 mitzvot in Parashat Ki Tetze even more when he explains the domino effect of the sequence of one mitzvah leading to another. If you have fulfilled the commandment of “sending away the mother bird from her nest,” you will eventually build a new house and fulfill the mitzvah of “guard-rail,” because the fulfillment of one mitzvah leads to another. You will then come to possess a vineyard, a field, and fine clothes. Therefore, these passages are juxtaposed (Rashi, Devarim 22:8). How awesome is it to contemplate the concept of מִצְוָה גּוֹרֶרֶת מִצְוָה/mitzvah gorreret mitzvah – “One mitzvah pulls along another” (Pirkei Avot 4:2).  Hashem, in His, kindness has imbued in His mitzvot an accumulative mechanism to grant us more merit.  When I think about the layers of opportunities of doing just one little mitzvah of the 74 mitzvot in Parashat Ki Tetze, I’m filled with immense gratitude.

Elevating All Our Happy Occasions to Hashem Alluded to in Your Roof 

When we arrive at any happy occasion bestowed upon us by the Blessed Creator, we must express our happiness within the letters of the Torah. This way we express our gratitude for the happy occasion through prayer, songs, and praises to allow our happiness to cleave to the Above – to the Blessed Creator.  All this is alluded to in “When you build a new house…” This can be understood to refer to the general happiness for anything new. “…Then you must make a rail guard” – this is to elevate your happy occasion through the letters of the Torah. This is the meaning of the “rail” that is built in the highest places. This is also alluded to in the word גַגֶּךָ/gagecha – “your roof,” for its numerical value is 26 the gematria of Hashem’s four-lettered Name. Through the wording of the mitzvah of making a rail on your roof, we bring our happiness into the letters of Hashem’s name. These letters of Hashem’s name refer to the inner will that moves all the letters and everything in the universe forward (Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev, Kedushat Levi, Parashat Ki Tetze). The Kedushat Halevi teaches us a deeper revelation about the ideal form of enjoying joy. Just as we may experience joy when building a new house, so can we build up and elevate any new joy we experience. It starts with the realization that it all comes from G-d and we need to demonstrate gratitude to Him. Just as we may build a rail on our roof – the highest point of our house – so can we direct our highest emotions of joy toward gratitude. By articulating gratitude through words of Torah, prayer, songs, and praises to G-d, we can connect our joy to its divine source. The power and force behind the words of praise we use is the name of Hashem. Its numerical value (26) is identical to the numerical value of “your roof” (26) showing the deep connection between these concepts. When we experience joy and raise it up by being grateful to Hashem – its ultimate source – by articulating and exhibiting gratitude, using holy words directed to G-d – we extend, enhance, and raise our joy to a continued higher dimension.

Erecting the Rail of Setting Limits in Life 

Besides alluding to any joyous occasion, building a new home also reflects our selves. The mitzvah to build a fence around our home teaches us that it’s not enough to serve Hashem through love, because this could cause us, G-d forbid, to fall into the lusts and lower worldly pleasures. Therefore, we need to also serve Hashem out of יִרְאָה/yirah –‘awe.’ “When you build a new house” – when you want to build holiness through your good deeds, then you must make a fence on your root, referring to the ‘awe’ needed to guard the אַהֲבָה/ahavah – ‘love.’ The word ahavah 2x equals 26, the numerical value of גַגֶּךָ/gagecha – “your roof,” while yirah equals 215, the numerical value of מַעֲקֶה/ma’akeh – “rail” with the kollel (counting 1 for the word itself). This teaches us that only through both awe and love together can we serve Hashem wholeheartedly (Imrei Yosef, Parashat Tetze). Along the same lines Rav Chaim Mordechai Rosenbaum of Nadvorna, in Devar Chaim suggests that erecting a fence on our roof can symbolize setting responsible limits in life. Our home may also represent the totality of our material existence. The mitzvah to erect a fence urges us to set limits on our expenditures of obtaining material comforts.  Just as a home, which is meant to provide us with safety and security, could cause danger without a physical barrier around the rooftop, likewise, the process of securing material comforts could pose the risk of financial ruin without a “fence” – i.e. without appropriate limits. In our quest for luxury and enjoyment, we might end up hurting ourselves through reckless spending.  The Torah warns us to erect a “fence” around our “home,” to exercise discipline so that our “home,” will be a source of blessing, and will not cause us to “fall” into the trap of the yetzer hara (negative impulse). The Torah’s mention of a new house provides a paradigm for all general growth. Because bigger houses come with bigger challenges. The more we engage the outside world, the more we must protect ourselves from falling. How do we protect ourselves? With a fence on our roof. This implies our protection is through something that is beyond ourselves. Simply put, the higher we rise, the tighter we need to connect to the One who will always be far above us. In this way, we will not fall. Neither will those who enter our house.

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Ki Tetze –

Some Tips on How to Appreciate Your Home

To feel genuine gratitude for all the comforts of your home, look on the bright side or that soothingly dark corner. This is your sanctuary that you want to make an abode for the Shechinah (Divine Indwelling Presence). It’s natural to get a little down on your home from time to time, this gives you the impetus for renewal, which will affect your life positively. Feeling content at home is available to everyone, no matter the size or condition of your space. By appreciating your home and developing a relationship with it you can gain a deeper appreciation of your house, and all the blessings Hashem imbues within it. 

• Consider What First Drew You to Your Home – No matter where you live, there was likely something that attracted you to your house when you first saw it. Was it the sunny yard, charming porch, or original wood floors? Once you are living in a place, it’s natural to focus more on home improvements. Yet, taking a moment to thank Hashem for the roof over your head and recalling the favorite things about your home help you feel gratitude. 

• Appreciate Your Home with Your Senses – you can zero in on the pleasures of home. Take a quick sensory tour of your home and note anything positive: the cozy comfort of your couch, the smell of coffee brewing, the feel of a fluffy rug between your toes. The aroma of Challot in the oven heralding the Shabbat Queen. 

• Imagine You’ve Just Been on a Long Trip – and you are arriving home for the first time in weeks. You close the door behind you and take a deep breath. What are you most looking forward to about being home at that moment? Think about the ways your home comforts and supports you and give thanks to Hashem for His perpetual protection. 

• Make Your Front Entrance Welcoming – Just as people enter and leave through the front door, so is it also a portal through which energy flows in and out of our lives. As you enter your home, what you see, and experience represents your approach to your own life. Leaving your home represents your approach to the outer world. Make a habit of kissing the mezuzah when you enter and leave your home, to recall the holiness that resides there. Keep your front path as clear and welcoming as possible, so that everyone will feel glad to enter. If you have a number or a name on your front door position the second and subsequent digit or letter slightly higher than the first. This will give you an energy lift every time you walk through your front door. 

• Consider the Mitzvah of Welcoming Guests – Is your home a source of mitzvot where various guests are welcome and taken care of? Make a point of keeping the energy of your home uplifting and relaxing to soothe anyone who walks through your door. 

• Plants and Flowers – Plants filter the air, increase the oxygen content, and generally lift the energy of a space. To offset the electromagnetic rays, have one plant per computer or television placed as near as possible to the equipment, and other plants as necessary to compensate for other electrical apparatus. Use plants that by their shape symbolically represent what you want to create. Round-leafed, upward-shooting plants work best. Avoid spiky plants in confined areas because they can cause arguments and irritation. Research funded by NASA discovered ways of cleaning the air in space capsules. They found that several ordinary types of houseplants have the ability to cleanse many of the most common pollutants from the air, including formaldehyde. They are Peace Lilies (Spathiphyllum Wallsisii); Peperomias; Arrowhead / Goose Foot Plant (Syngonium podophyllum); Dwarf Banana Plants, and Golden Pothos (Scindapsus Aureus).

• Your Bedroom – It is generally recommended to site bedrooms as far away from the front entrance as possible, especially the master bedroom. This will give you the sense that you can see things coming into your life and have time to consider your options and decide what is the best thing to do. If you sleep too close to the front door, things happen suddenly and take you by surprise, so you may miss opportunities and make choices you regret. When you feel more secure during sleep, you naturally feel more secure as you go about your life. It therefore becomes much easier to manifest Hashem’s will in your life. 

• Regard Your Home in a New Way – Consider collecting your thoughts in a gratitude journal. I also encourage you to pay attention to precisely what makes you feel grateful at home – thank Hashem for these blessings and work on increasing them! Then the blessings of your home will expand. As you are working in the garden, kneading challah dough, or reading a story to a child you will feel more content with things as they are.