How Can We Not Appreciate Belonging to a People Imbued with Laws of Morality?

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Parashat Acharei Mot 
How Can We Not Appreciate Belonging to a People Imbued with Laws of Morality?  

Why Would I be Thankful for Having Grown Up with Immodesty?

I am grateful that I grew up in a sexually permissive and perverted society. Denmark has traditionally been characterized as progressive and liberal in terms of attitudes regarding sexuality. Denmark boasts a liberal stance on public nudity, rooted in its longstanding tradition of promoting individual freedom. Unlike many countries where public nudity might be confined strictly to designated areas, in Denmark, it’s generally legal to be nude on most public beaches. This means no one needs to find a specific ‘nudist’ or ‘naturist’ beach to sunbathe or swim without clothing. In addition, certain areas are specially designated for naturists, to provide a sense of community for those looking to engage with fellow naturists.You may wonder why, in the world, I would be happy, let alone grateful, for my exposure to such blatant immodesty. You did read right, I AM thankful for having experienced such decadence, which has heightened my awareness of the importance of modesty. Maharal teaches that a matter develops through its opposite. Therefore, at the beginning of our nationhood, Hashem brought us to live specifically within the two most perverse nations:Egypt and Canaan. In contrast to the degree of their sexual depravity, the Israelites would turn out all the more refined and chaste. (Gevurat Hashem Chapter 4). So, I’m thankful for having experienced such darkness that aroused within me the greatest desire for light. While I used to believe the naturists’ claim to be free to be themselves without inhibitions, when I embraced the Torah lifestyle it became clear that being a naturist and allowing oneself to follow nature’s call without inhibitions is no different from acting the way of the natural animals. Hashem imbued humans with the ability to overcome our natural instincts including various sexual urges, as Pirkei Avot 4:1 teaches, Who is mighty? He who subdues his [natural] inclination, as it states, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that captures a city” (Mishlei 16:32).

 Why am I Proud to no Longer be a Danish Citizen?

At the end of Parashat Acharei Mot Hashem warns the Israelites to distance themselves from the immoral practices of Egypt and Canaan:

ספר ויקרא פרק יח פסוק ב דַּבֵּר אֶל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם אֲנִי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם: (ג) כְּמַעֲשֵׂה אֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם אֲשֶׁר יְשַׁבְתֶּם בָּהּ לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ וּכְמַעֲשֵׂה אֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי מֵבִיא אֶתְכֶם שָׁמָּה לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ וּבְחֻקֹּתֵיהֶם לֹא תֵלֵכוּ: 

(ד) אֶת מִשְׁפָּטַי תַּעֲשׂוּ וְאֶת חֻקֹּתַי תִּשְׁמְרוּ לָלֶכֶת בָּהֶם אֲנִי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם:

“Speak to the people of Israel, and say to them, I am Hashem your G-d. Do not behave like the people of the land of Egypt where you dwelt, and do not do, like the deeds of the land of Canaan. You shall fulfill My laws and observe My statutes, to follow them. I am Hashem, your G-d” (Vayikra 18:2-4).

 

This verse informs us that the deeds of the Egyptians and the Canaanites were more corrupt than those of all other nations and that the Egyptians residing in that region where the Israelites had dwelt, were the most corrupt of all. The same verse also informs us that those Canaanite peoples that the Israelites conquered, were more corrupt than any other people (Rashi, Vayikra 18:3) based on Torat Kohanim 18:138).

                                                                                                                                                                      

Why does our paragraph state twice, “I am Hashem your G-d?” The Midrash explains: “I am G-d – twice – I am the one who punished the generation of the flood, Sodom and Egypt. I will in the future punish those who act like them” (Vayikra Rabbah 23:9). According to Midrash Bereishit Rabbah 26:5, “The generation of the flood were not eradicated from this world until they had established marriage contracts between two men and between man and beast.” The commentary of Mararzo explains, “They erred in their defective minds and thought that since they were created with powerful lusts, they were obliged to follow their desires in whatever direction it would take them… Thus, they established marriage contracts between two men, and their judges legitimized them.” The fact that Denmark was the first country in the world to legally recognize same-sex partnerships is commonly referred to as indicative of its ‘progressive’ and ‘liberal’ attitudes regarding sexuality. Surveys also show that the approval of homosexuality has increased significantly in the last three decades. Yet, according to the teachings of our Sages, this kind of progressivity and liberality is no other than the immorality that brought about the destruction of the world during the Flood. So, even if I must wait in longer lines at airport security when I visit my mom and sister, I’m proud that I’m no longer a Danish citizen. 
 

Reversing Immorality Through Modesty

“Separate yourselves from sexual immorality and sin, for wherever we find a barrier against sexual immorality, we find holiness (Rashi, Vayikra 19:1). Pardes Yosef instructs us, “If you don’t know how to behave, look at the practices of Egypt and Canaan and do the opposite.”Having been rebellious from early childhood, I’m in the good company of Miriam the Prophetess, whose name derives from the word מֶרִי/meri ‘rebellion.’ Today there is no lack of decadent countries – from where many of us originate – whose practices we can reverse. I’m grateful that I have learned from my country of origin to be a staunch advocate of modesty, through kabbalistic lenses. I teach my students that we cover our bodies to reveal the light of our souls. The more holiness, the more covering is required (Rav Eliyahu Kitov, Ish U’Beito). Just as in the Synagogue the most sacred Torah scrolls are not only concealed within a wooden ark but moreover enveloped in a beautiful velvet embroidered cover, so does the holiness of the Jewish woman require her to cover most of her body. Sexuality specifically between husband and wife (as opposed to two husbands or two wives) is likewise sacred. In the Holy of Holies of the Temple, where only the Kohen Gadol could enter once a year, the two Keruvim – cherubs, male and female – embraced and engaged in intimacy manifestingthe holiness of marital relations that reflect Israel’s relationship with Hashem. Likewise, the Holy of Holies is referred to as Cheder Hamitot or ‘bedroom chamber’ (Rashi, II Melachim 11:2). This highlights the metaphoric relationship between Gd and His people as that of bride and groom by referring to the Holy of Holies as the master bedroom!

 

The Light of Israel Emerges from the Darkest Darkness 

Surprisingly, the nation of Canaan became the most corrupt specifically because they dwelled in the Land of Israel. The reason for that seems to be that the Sitra Achra (side of impurity)desires to cleave to kedusha to nurse from it. Therefore, the Sitra Acha attaches itself specifically to the place where Israel dwells. Since it is unable to attach itself to Israel at all, due to our holiness, it cleaves to the nations amid whom Israel dwells. These nations learn a few mitzvot and good deeds from Israel through which they require a tinge of holiness. Then the Sitra Achra dwells upon these nations, and through this they become the most corrupt in the world (Pardes Yosef, Vayikra 18:3). This explains why Israel dwells amid the evilestnations in the world like a lamb among wolves. From Bat Ayin we can hear their many prayers through the broadcastings of their minarets. This testifies to how they have a few mitzvot learned from Israel such as praying to Allah the uppermost only G-d. Through this, they attract the forces of impurity that entice these nations to become the most evil of all – the real obstacle to peace. The eyes of Mosab Hassan Yousef, the son of Hamas founder Sheikh Hassan Yousef, were opened to the darkness in which he was raised, and of all people, he began working for the Mossad and saved thousands of Jewish lives. Through the October 7th atrocities, our national Jewish Neshama has been revived, as Maharal taught us, “A matter arises through its opposite.” This principle is reflected by the beautiful emunah-filled finalwords of Israel’s assumedly secular Eurovision entry, “We don’t need big words, only tefilot, even if it’s hard to see, You always leave me a small light!” 

          Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Acharei Mot –

Some Tips for How to Strengthen Gratitude for Modesty

  Modesty is moderating exposing and expressing your endowments. Modesty is humble and empathic rather than flashing and flaunting. Unfortunately, we live in a world of exhibitionism where showing off has become a necessary part and parcel of most people’s daily lives. Yet, thankfulness is manifested in the state of self-transcendence. It is an awareness that inspires us to pursue our daily life experiences with expressions of contentment, modesty, appreciation, and joyfulness.

• Accept Hardships as Opportunities for Growth – I truly believe that someone who wants to find the truth will find it. By Hashem’s providence, every hardship we must undergo is placed before us for a reason. They helped me realize that I needed to change, and I am thankful for the time and opportunity to learn to strengthen my modesty Keep Learning Torah – The world (now more than ever) is telling us to wear short shorts and rock the swimsuit. The body positivity movement has completely taken the fashion industry by storm and is telling us that showing skin equals confidence and beauty. But truly, Torah-modesty standards tell us the opposite! Through Torah study we learn to be humbly adorned, and that our beauty will shine through our actions. It doesn’t mean we can’t feel good in our own skin, but I’m thankful that I don’t need to show everything off to feel so! 

• Ask for Help from an Accountability Partner – Whether this is a spouse, a parent, or a good friend, having someone you trust check your outfit before you leave the house is wise. If they say what you don’t want to hear, let it be a lesson learned, and be grateful for their truth rather than holding a grudge against them for telling you what you asked them.

• Set Modesty Boundaries – This takes some training and sometimes re-programming of the brain. If a garment is snug on top or falls short, leave it out. Ask yourself whether you would feel it was appropriate if an attractive woman wore this in front of your husband. Be thankful for the ability to take responsibility to do your part in not causing others to stumble. 

• Turn Inward in Prayer – Through crying out to Hashem in heartfelt prayer, you can learn to turn inward and discover the hidden light in the world and in your soul.   

How Can We Transform Our Homes from the External to the Internal Dimension?

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 Parashat Metzora  How Can We Transform Our Homes from the External to the Internal Dimension?

 

How do I Reunite the Torn Apart Pieces of my Psyche? 

I feel the ground is being torn down from under my feet. Everything is topsy-turvy! The house never looks as messy as at the peak of Pesach cleaning. With my head in the depths of the kitchen cabinet and pots and pans scattered all over the kitchen floor, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of dissolvement.  It is as if all the different parts of myself are turning into torn-apart pieces, that I must sort out and bring back together in a different composition. There are treasured, vital items in the kitchen, and in my character that I must give their proper place, remove any external grime or dust, and make them shine. Some things are still important and usable, yet to a lesser degree. I will also remove their external attachment and keep them while relegating them to the backstage of my kitchen cabinet and psyche. There are other items that I painfully must be ready to let go of. It could be a favorite tunic or utensil that has been used up and become utterly threadbare and tattered or completely dilapidated. Correspondingly in my psyche, this could refer to a strong will to keep a thought, an attachment, or a relationship that no longer serves me. In the wake of Pesach, we are shedding layers on many levels and learning to let go. With every chametz crumb – we discard – we mustn’t forget to include its inner dimension and let go of any ego attachment. When I become humbled by feeling powerless and unable to keep my life under control, that is when I invite Hashem inside to help me reorganize my torn-apart pieces into a new and greater whole. 

The Blessings in Disguise within Plagues 

Even among the hardest tests we undergo, we can find many matters for which to be grateful. Parashat Metzora which is mostly about the plague of the spiritual skin disease of tzara’at, teaches us about the treasure found within the agony of the plagues.  Similarly, we have experienced positive effects during our recent plague of the coronavirus pandemic, such as reduced road traffic accidents, better communication, closeness among the family units, and other blessings in disguise. I believe the Coronavirus has helped us to discard the external or superfluous while treasuring the essential and internal. It has taught us that rather than dispersing our energy to the outside, it is vital to strengthen our connection with our loved ones, focusing, and investing more in them. In other words, the coronavirus has taught us a lesson on living more inner lives. 

ספר ויקרא פרק יד פסוק לד כִּי תָבֹאוּ אֶל אֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי נֹתֵן לָכֶם לַאֲחֻזָּה וְנָתַתִּי נֶגַע צָרַעַת בְּבֵית אֶרֶץ אֲחֻזַּתְכֶם:

“When you come to the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as a possession, I will place a lesion of tzara’at upon a house in the land of your ancestral possession” (Vayikra 14:34). 

This is [good] news for them that plagues would come upon them, (Torat Kohanim 14:75), because the Amorites [residents of Canaan] concealed treasures of gold in the walls of their houses during the entire forty years that the Israelites were in the desert, and in consequence of the plague they would demolish the house and discover them  [Vayikra Rabbah 17:6]; (Rashi, Vayikra 14:34).

How Can Plagues be a Result of Elevating the Sparks?

Rashi explains that the plague on the house is good ‎tidings for its owner because tzara’at required the owner to tear down the whole ‎house, which revealed treasures buried underneath by the previous ‎Canaanite owners, amounting to far more in value than the worth of the entire house.‎ The inner meaning of the “good tidings” is not only finding the material treasure” but the process of elevating divine fallen sparks. Kedushat HaLevi reminds us about the rule that the true joy we ‎experience is when we elevate the fallen sparks from the ‎‎Shechinah bringing them to the level of serving their ‎Creator. When we succeed in elevating fallen sparks, then the innerness within these sparks elevates not only the inner part of ourselves but even the sparks of the exterior part of ourselves, ‎known as the ‎חצוניות‎/chitzoniyut, so that we are enabled to discard this part of ourselves.‎ Our house has an internal and external dimension. The internal dimension is comprised of elevating the sparks, whereas the discarded parts constitute the external dimension. Comparing the human soul to the inner spark, and the body without the soul to the exterior, explains why the body of a deceased becomes impure. This is because it has lost the inner spark that connects it with the divine – the source of purity.  Similarly, once the sparks within the external parts of our home are elevated, then these external parts likewise become impure by losing their connection to the Divine. When our Torah verse speaks of the house’s exterior ‎suddenly displaying signs of a plague, this is nothing other than ‎the foul-smelling residue left behind in their house after the ‎Israelites had elevated fallen sparks by fulfilling G-d’s mitzvah (Devarim 20:16) ‎not to allow any of the Canaanite residents to survive.  ‎‎Rashi speaks of the glad tidings for the ‎Jewish people when they discover tzara’at upon the houses in the land of Israel that they newly conquered, referring to their joyful discovery of being able to raise the sparks so that they became elevated to spiritually higher regions. Yet after these sparks had left the houses, the houses became exterior and had to be demolished. This is the good news for the treasures that were found after demolishing the houses are the sparks, for the main happiness is to raise up sparks (Based on Kedushat Halevi, Parashat Metzora).

What is the Recipe for Elevating Sparks?

People often ask me “How do we elevate sparks?” I explain that raising sparks entails focusing on and connecting with Hashem through even the most pleasurable or the most painful experiences. For example, when we eat the most delicious Shabbat meal in a way that rather than succumbing to the temptation of taking selfish pleasure, we dedicate the pleasure we experience to serving Hashem by honoring Shabbat. Conversely, when we go through the hardest pain, which could easily make us feel that Hashem has forsaken us, yet we nevertheless choose to trust Hashem believing that this too is for the best, then we also elevate sparks. In both situations, a person is naturally so entrenched in the intensity of his experience that it is a great challenge to devote this personal experience completely to G-d. This principle applies firmly to the original war of conquering the Land of Israel without “allowing any soul to live from among these peoples’ cities, which Hashem, your G-d, gives you as an inheritance” (Devarim 20:16). Being a combat soldier ready to kill in a war is about the greatest pain a person can experience. It can tempt a person to succumb to his lowest animal instincts of anger and aggressiveness while fighting for the sake of victory for its own sake. When the soldier rises above his own selfish survival instinct to engage in violence and rather focuses on the mitzvah of serving Hashem by obliterating every single person among the evil enemy, what could be a greater way of raising up fallen sparks? 

A Woman’s Pesach Cleaning – The Rectification from the Tree of Knowledge 

The strong connection with Hashem that is necessary against all the odds to raise up sparks transforms us from living in the חצוניות/chitzoniut – ‘exterior realm’ to entering into the פנימויות/penimiut – ‘internal realm.’ Rav Shlomo Carlebach teaches us that during Pesach Hashem illuminates such a great light for us, through our innerness, that we are bound to enter the internal realm. When Hashem wants to give us something so heavenly, we need to purify the external so we can stand completely ‘inside,’ without allowing any stronghold for the ‘exterior realm.’ Cleaning the house is one of the greatest rectifications for the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. This rectification is handed over to the woman. It may seem lonely at times, for as much as the husband and children try to help, they can never enter totally into the domain of the woman’s rectification. In the place where a woman cleans and organizes while investing so much depth and seriousness – in that place, she is truly alone (Based on Rav Shlomo Carlebach, Lev HaShamayim: Pesach pp.85-88). Everything about the Tree of Knowledge is about the external dimension. It is what brought about the very first exile, from the utmost innermost place – the Garden of Eden. When we clean the house mindfully, we shed its external layers of dust and grime and thereby transform our home from the external dimension of the Tree of Knowledge to enter the internal dimension of the Tree of Life. Through Pesach cleaning, we have the opportunity to touch such an elevated place, which only a woman can reach. 

                     

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Metzora

“Japanese people have always regarded cleaning as more than a common chore. It’s normal there for elementary and junior high school students to clean their classrooms together. Cleaning is carried out not because there is dirt, but because it’s an ascetic practice to cultivate the mind.” (Shoukei Matsumoto, Guide to a Clean House and Mind p. 3). Every year, before Pesach, we are commanded to prepare our homes by getting rid of all the chametz, to start fresh and clean, to sweep out all the gunk and crumbs. We can do the same thing with the homes called our bodies, where we store a lot of aches, pains, annoyances, disturbances, stresses, maladaptive habits, etc. Guided meditations are a great way to clear your mind/body of the “chametz” before Pesach.

• Invite Your Community to Join Your Guided Meditation – preparing their minds and psyches for Pesach. Set the mood by lighting candles or dimming lights and turning off phones and other distractions. You may ask the following four questions as part of your Pesach meditation. 

1. What will you be cleaning for Pesach?

2. Why will you be cleaning for Pesach?

3. Does cleaning your space free you to be able to focus your attention inwards?

4. Which items are meaningful to you? How will these items help inspire you this Pesach?

• “We are Closer to G-d when We are Asking Questions Than When We Think we Have Answers” (Avraham Yehoshua Heschel) – While you go about your Pesach cleaning ask yourself questions about the chores you are doing that will inspire you to shed exterior layers of yourself. For example, when cleaning a certain kitchen drawer, you could ask how this drawer is a reflection of the state of your psyche, and how you can reorganize it in a way that will affect your inner being positively. When you scrub suborn stains, you could ask, what are the stubborn stains of my character that I need to remove? and what would be the most effective way to remove them? How do you think the process of cleaning and searching for chametz impacts your spiritual preparation for Pesach?

• Look for Hidden Treasures – Pray to Hashem to find your lost objects while you clean for Pesach. Perhaps during your ordeal of Pesach cleaning you may find a long-lost precious earring or any other item you may have displaced. Rejoice and feel grateful to Hashem for opening your eyes to find hidden treasures!

• Allow Yourself to Be Grateful for the Healing Opportunity of Cleaning – While we focus on removing all of the physical chametz from our homes, notice how the act of cleaning can spark an internal process of introspection, and strengthen your connection to Hashem. You can make your Pesach cleaning a collaborative event by engaging in a post-cleaning discussion and celebration to share what you gained from the experience and discuss what stands out to you most about your experience of cleaning for Pesach.

• Set an Intention for Your Pesach Cleaning to Remove the External Chametz for the Sake of the Mitzvah – so that you can elevate the sparks and transform your home to be aligned with the inner dimension. Focus on how the process of cleaning for Pesach is a way to rectify eating from the Tree of Knowledge – the source of everything external.