Stepping Inward on Our Internal Divine Ladder

Parashat Vayetze

Stepping Inward on Our Internal Divine Ladder

During the Darkness from Without How Can We Illuminate Our Lives from Within?

Having entered the darkening winter period, during the month of Kislev, we seek the inner light. As the days reach their shortest point, we focus our attention inward, to open the curtain layers of our souls. Although we know that Divine sparks are hiding there, how can we tap into them and feel the deep spiritual connection for which we yearn? How can we illuminate our lives with true inner light from within, and detach from our need for the outer approval of others? In synchrony with the sense of Kislev, this week’s parasha initiates a series of parshiot that centers around dreams. Dreams are doorways to uncover our innermost thoughts, fears, and aspirations (Berachot 55b). Although sleep is a sixtieth of death, dreams are a sixtieth of prophecy (Babylonian Talmud, Berachot 57b). By paying attention to our dreams, we can break through the layers of our psyche and tune into our inner core. When we engage in dream work888888, we may reveal inner aspects of ourselves that have not yet congealed on the surface of our consciousness. An eight-year-old boy asked his father, “Are we alive and real, or are we only part of G-d’s dream?” The father turned to Rav Shlomo, who answered, “We’re truly alive in G-d’s dream!” (Holy Brother, Inspiring Stories and Enchanted Tales about Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach p. 91). When we look deep inside, we can tune into G-d’s dream. This is what Ya’acov discovered. Yet, how can tapping into our aliveness in G-d’s dream illuminate our lives?

Letting Go of Knowing

In order to really know Hashem, we need to detach ourselves from the analytic faculties of knowing learned from the Tree of knowledge. Just as when falling asleep, we need to turn down the volume of our external consciousness to tune into Hashem’s light within. To know something you don’t know, you must go through the process of not knowing. Ya’acov’s most prophetic dream brought him to this place of not knowing:

ספר בראשית פרק כח פסוק טז: וַיִּיקַץ יַעֲקֹב מִשְּׁנָתוֹ וַיֹּאמֶר אָכֵן יֵשׁ הָשֵׁם בַּמָּקוֹם הַזֶּה וְאָנֹכִי לֹא יָדָעְתִּ:

“Ya’acov awoke from his sleep, and he said, ‘indeed Hashem is this place, but I knew it not’” (Bereishit 28:16).

What was it that Ya’acov didn’t know? He exclaimed: “I didn’t know it was a holy place, had I known, I wouldn’t have slept there!” (Rashi ibid.). Ironically, it was through the dreams he had when sleeping that he came to know something he didn’t know. When we recognize “I didn’t know,” that’s the moment we begin to know. When we feel ignorant, we finally start to know. So, we must learn not to fear letting go of ‘knowing’ in order to really know. It’s like allowing ourselves to experience lifting our foot from the lower rung of a ladder before we place it firmly on the next rung. 

The Spiritual Ladder Within

Indeed, in Ya’acov’s prophetic dream, he sees a divine ladder connecting heaven and earth:

ספר בראשית פרק כח פסוק יא וַיִּפְגַּע בַּמָּקוֹם וַיָּלֶן שָׁם כִּי בָא הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ וַיִּקַּח מֵאַבְנֵי הַמָּקוֹם וַיָּשֶׂם מְרַאֲשֹׁתָיו וַיִּשְׁכַּב בַּמָּקוֹם הַהוּא: יב) וַיַּחֲלֹם וְהִנֵּה סֻלָּם מֻצָּב אַרְצָה וְרֹאשׁוֹ מַגִּיעַ הַשָּׁמָיְמָה וְהִנֵּה מַלְאֲכֵי אֱלֹהִים עֹלִים וְיֹרְדִים בּוֹ: יג) וְהִנֵּה הָשֵׁם נִצָּב עָלָיו:

“He arrived at the place and went to sleep there because the sun had set. He from the rocks of the place and placed [them] at his head, and he lay down in that place. Then he dreamed and behold! a ladder was positioned on the ground and its top reached to heaven; and behold, angels of G-d were ascending and descending upon it. And behold, Hashem was standing over him…” (Bereishit 28:11-13).

 

מדרש רבה בראשית פרשה סח פסקה יב ר’ חייא ורבי ינאי חד אמר עולים ויורדין בסולם וחד אמר עולים ויורדים ביעקב…

According to Rabbi Chia they [the angels] ascend and descend on the ladder, but Rabbi Yanai said, they ascend and descend in Ya’acov (Midrash Rabah, Bereishit Parasha 68, Piska 12).

According to the Midrash, Ya’akov was looking into himself. This is learned from the word ‘bo’ “...Behold, angels of G-d are ascending and descending [on] it (bo). The word ‘bo’ is the preposition ‘on it,’ but ‘bo’ also has the meaning ‘in it’ or ‘in him.’

Our Relationship With G‑d is Relationship with the Self

The inner relationship between G‑d and the world is not merely as a relationship between the Creator and the created, but rather a link between the surface level of reality and the depth of reality. ‘G‑d’ is the term employed to describe the underlying structure of all of existence, including human existence. A relationship with G‑d means a relationship with our own inner core, with the reality of our reality. Alienation from G‑d means alienation from the depths of the self.

שפת אמת ספר בראשית - פרשת ויצא - שנת [תרמ"ז]                                                                        

כי באמת האדם עצמו הוא הסולם ויש בו פנימיות הנשמה חלק אלוה ממעל רמז לבחי’ וה’ נצב עליו כנ"ל:

In truth, the person himself is the ladder, and within him is the inner neshama – a part of G-d from Above, this hints to the aspect of “G-d was standing upon him” (Sefat Emet, Bereishit, Vayetze 5647).

The reality of a dream itself is internal. How can we express Torah if we do not find it within ourselves first? Torah is about tapping into the essence of what we are and where we are from and how it connects. We must develop the ability to see Torah within our selves, learning to look within and see how we are connected to Torah. Only from that Source can we bring Torah into the world. Although intellectual analysis, is clearly necessary and part of the thinking processes, it is absolutely fundamental that our Torah derives from the Divine within us. It is only when we can connect to the essence of ourselves that we are capable of bringing true Torah into this world.

Spiritual Healing Journey for Tapping into the Treasure of Our Soul

Through spiritual healing we can break through the exterior layers that separate us from our Divine essence, to look within, connect and reveal our innermost point. Our inner spark of Hashem – our neshama – knows exactly what we need, to be 100% healthy and fulfill our mission in the world. However, we are so entrenched in our bodies and in the physical world that we are often unable to tap into the buried treasure of our souls. Below is a short, spiritual healing exercise, or if you will, guided meditation, to help us get in touch with our higher neshama and access Hashem’s light within. The metaphor of Ya’acov’s Ladder symbolizes connection, linking us to G-d, earth to heaven, and matter below to spirit Above. Various levels of consciousness exist between us and our Divine selves. Each rung represents a gradual ascent whereby we can earn wisdom and perfection one step at a time. As the ladder has no moving parts, it symbolizes ascension by way of personal desire and effort. The ladder also reminds us that reaching the highest realms of consciousness is not a short, swift journey. Yet, keep in mind that no journey is without its rests and pauses. Therefore, whenever we require a respite during our spiritual ascent, the rungs of the ladder provide us with the support and strength we need, until we are ready to take our next step upward. 

EmunaHealing Exercise to Climb Your Inner Ladder

1. Sit comfortably in your chair, close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and let go of anything you may be holding on to. Breathe in Hashem’s life-giving energy, breathe out, tensions, negativity, and worry.

2. Imagine in your mind’s eye a ladder, try to visualize its shape and color. Is it a small indoor ladder, or a larger gardening ladder? Is it made from wood, metal, or another material? What is its color? Perhaps, it has more than one color? How many rungs does it have? 

3. Now imagine yourself standing at the bottom of this ladder. Which difficulties and fears make it hard for you to take the first step to ascend the ladder? Perhaps it is negative habits, addictions, lashon hara, mitzvot that are difficult for you. Try to identify these blocks and then allow yourself to connect with the light of Hashem, which always comes down from Above.

4. Open yourself to bring Hashem’s light into all your negative actions to melt them away. Then take the first step to the first rung of the ladder.

5. Now look up at the second rung. What blocks you from taking your next step? Which negative emotions are you struggling with, anger, worry, fears and doubts? Focus on bringing Hashem’s light into all your negative emotions and melt them away.

6. See if you feel like taking another step onto the next rung of the ladder. Otherwise, just remain on the second rung and imagine Hashem’s light within you. Our bodies are continually filled with Hashem’s light and love even when we don’t see it or feel it, we know that we are permeated with Divine light.

7. From your place on the ladder, send Hashem’s light and love to the person sitting to your left. (If you are not meditating in a group setting, just send light to anyone).

8. Imagine that you receive this light from the person sitting to your right and then send it further to the person on your left. This light will continually move around in the circle through everyone around this table. (When meditating alone imagine receiving light from anyone).

9. After about 1-5 minutes of this exercise, slowly go down each of the rungs of the ladder until you reach the ground.

10. Take a few deep breaths, and release your arms and legs, then open your eyes.