Wednesday, May 3, 2023

How can Women Align Ourselves with the Light of Counting the Omer?

How can Women Align Ourselves with the Light of Counting the Omer?
Parashat Emor

Do we Kill Time or Create Holy Days by Giving Birth to Each New Day?
I have always been bothered whenever I heard people use expressions such as “Let’s kill some time!” We have the opportunity to give birth to every single day in our lives and elevate it through our thoughts, speech, and action. As we learn from Ruth, “The name of the man, with whom I made the day, is Boaz” (Ruth 2:19). Through the spiritual practice of working the sefirot (the Divine Emanations or Radiances, emanated from G-d’s creation process and embodied by us), we make every single day count. The days of the Omer are exquisitely beautiful, yet this period also entails ambivalence. While nature around us is unfolding with new flowers maturing every day and the tree blossoms beginning to fruit, many of us suffer from seasonal allergies. It is as if the light at this time is just too intense. We don’t yet have a vessel strong enough to receive it. Perhaps for the same reason, this delightful period of spring is tainted by the mourning for Rabbi Akiva’s 24.0000 students, who perished in a plague, because they didn’t respect one another. The Omer period is thus dedicated to rectifying our character, trait by trait weekly until our vessels shine at the giving of the Torah on Shavuot. During the first week of the Omer, we worked on rectifying the Divine trait of chesed (loving-kindness) within us. While emulating Avraham and Sarah’s kindness and hospitality, we also worked on setting proper boundaries. The second week was dedicated to learning from Yitzchak how to strengthen our gevurah (self-discipline). During the third week, we integrated the Tiferet (compassion) of Ya’acov. Now, in the fourth week, we work on Netzach (victory) becoming steadfast in overcoming obstacles and aligning ourselves with the eternal Torah of Moshe. In recent years many pious and dedicated women have taken on the spiritual practice of counting the Omer, including many of my students. While I am proud of the dedication of all these women, taking upon themselves more than what the halacha requires, I personally do not count the Omer for kabbalistic reasons. which I attempt to explain below.

Counting the Omer is a Mitzvah Relating to the Realm of the Masculine
While I do believe in the importance of working on building our character trait by trait in the Omer period no less than women who meticulously count the Omer, there are deep reasons why women are exempt from this mitzvah, and traditionally women didn’t count the Omer (Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, Mishna Berurah 489:3). The practice of women refraining from counting the Omer is based on the Zohar and the Arizal:

זוהר מנוקד חלק ג דף צז/א: וּבְגִין דְּאִלֵּין יוֹמִין, יוֹמִין דְּעָלְמָא דִּדְכוּרָא, לָא אִתְמְסַר חוּשְׁבָּנָא דָּא אֶלָּא לְגַבְרֵי בִּלְחוֹדַיְיהוּ

Since these days [of sefirah] are days from the realm of the masculine, this counting [of Sefirat
ha’Omer
] was given over to males alone (Zohar, Part 3:97a).

Based on Arizal Women are Discouraged from Counting the Omer
I’m convinced there are additional deeper reasons for the Kabbalists discouraging women from counting the Omer. Apparently, according to the Arizal this practice is not even permitted for women: Our Rav [Arizal] had to explain specific reasons regarding Sefirat ha’Omer that they are not applicable to women, to teach us that they [women] are not permitted to fulfill them voluntarily like other positive time-bound mitzvot (Responsa Rav Pa'alim I Sod Yesharim 12). There are several texts in the Arizal about this topic, for example, he explains that counting the Omer is about drawing from the male to the female. We would hope that most healthy women are predominantly female, with the ability to raise the feminine waters from below to above rather than the other way around which counting the Omer entails:

There is another intention in the matter of counting the Omer, one needs to meditate to draw down from the 49 male days to the 49 female days. Since the intention is to draw down [spiritual energy] in malchut [nukbah/Female], therefore one must draw down from above to below from Chesed to Malchut and to bring down the spiritual energy from above – the male, to below – the female… (Arizal, Sha’ar Hakavanot Inyan Sefirat ha’Omer, derush 11).

Arizal furthermore explains that all the positive mitzvot are rooted in chesed [a male quality as opposed to the female gevurah]. The part of the positive mitzvot that relate to women is revealed chesed, whereas the time caused positive mitzvot are concealed chesed, in which women do not have any portion” (Based on Arizal, Hakdamah, Sha’ar haMitzvot). 

The Omer Period: Auspicious for Aligning Ourselves with the Seven Lower Sefirot
Whether you are a woman who counts the Omer or not, this period of counting the Omer is auspicious for aligning ourselves with the seven lower sefirot and their sub-sefirot. According to the Shlah Hakodesh, being created in the Divine image entails having the ability to perfect ourselves and reflect Hashem through manifesting the Divine sefirot within our entire being.  The seven lower sefirot embody the lights of the emotions we need to balance during the seven weeks of counting the Omer. Each of the sefirot also contains within itself an element of all the others. They are all interincluded’ within each other like a hologram. This fractal structure is one way in which the sefirot are infinite or divine in their essence. Every day of the Omer offers the opportunity to work on a specific sefirah aspect of the dominating sefirah of that day. We can all work on expressing every sefirah on its highest note, by balancing and fine-tuning each sefirah, integrating their lights within each other. One important EmunaHealing tool is called matching the resonance. You take one person/spiritual concept/ entity in one hand, the other person/concept/entity in the other hand and ask: “I request to match the resonances between x and y.” Then you wait a maximum of 1½ minutes while allowing yourself to feel the energy between your two hands connecting. That’s it. It doesn’t matter if the hands are exactly at the same height, or who/what you take in the right hand and who/what in the left hand. In order to achieve balance in the flow of the sefirot manifested within us we can use this EmunaHealing technique to match the resonances of each of the sefirot.

EmunaHealing Exercise for Matching Your Resonance with the Seven Emotional Sefirot
1. Settle yourself in your space, you may want to find a beautiful nature spot to relax into, taking in the sky, the clouds, the birds, the wind, the earth the grass, and flowers. Breathe in the soft caress of nature into your forehead and breathe out of your forehead any doubt and worries.
2. Inhale Hashem’s light of kindness into your right shoulder and exhale any tension you may hold there. Now, inhale Divine power and strength into your left shoulder and exhale any pressure you may feel there.
3. Open your arms a bit more than shoulder distance apart, allowing your palms to face one another. Designate your left arm to represent you and the right to represent the sefirah of chesed. Keep the arms and palms in the same position while reciting “I request to match myself with the light of Avraham’s chesed/kindness!” Feel the energy like an electric current between your hands. Shake out your arms and reposition them, this time designating your right arm to represent you and the left to represent the sefirah of gevurah, then recite: “I request to match myself with the light of Yitzchak’s gevurah/strength!” Again, feel the energy like an electric current between your two hands.
4. Place your hands between your breasts and breathe Hashem’s light of compassion into your heart. Breathe out of your heart any pain and trauma you may have experienced. Reposition your arms and palms in the matching resonance pose. Keep the arms and palms in the same position while reciting “I request to match myself with the light of Ya’acov’s tiferet/compassion!” Feel the energy like an electric current between your hands. Relax your arms and hands.
5. Breathe Hashem’s lifegiving energy into both of your kidneys in the back below your ribcage, breathe out of your kidneys worry, and fear. Reposition your arms and palms in the matching resonance pose. Imagine the left hand representing yourself. Keep the arms and palms in the same position while reciting “I request to match myself with the light of Moshe’s netzach/eternity! Feel the energy like an electric current between your hands. Now take the energy of yourself in your right hand, reciting “I request to match myself with the light of Aharon’s hod/empathy! Feel the energy like an electric current between your hands. Shake them off. Relax.
6. Inhale Hashem’s light into your pelvic area and exhale any tension from your pelvis.   Reposition your arms and palms in the matching resonance pose. Keep the arms and palms in the same position while reciting “I request to match myself with the light of Yosef’s yesod/foundation!” Feel the energy like an electric current between your hands. Then let your arms relax.
7. Breathe in Hashem’s light of royalty all the way down into your feet. Breathe out of your feet any insecurity and ‘ungroundnessness.’ Reposition your arms and palms in the matching resonance pose. Keep the arms and palms in the same position while reciting “I request to match myself with the light of David’s malchut/royalty!” Feel the energy like an electric current between your hands. Relax your arms and hands. Now with your eyes closed allow yourself to feel the energy of each sefirah connecting with each other and shining through your entire being!

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