Why is Fear the Opening to Enter the Gate of Love?

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Parashat Ekev

Why is Fear the Opening to Enter the Gate of Love?

An Instant Gratification Generation

We are an impatient instant gratification generation. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that our entire century is characterized by impatience and craving for instant gratification. Everyone wants a shortcut to reach their goals fast. Children skip grades, mothers buy instant soup and instant cake mix, while fathers drink instant coffee. We skip to the conclusion of a research article or read just the abstract. Even when we get our hands on a new novel, we cheat and read the end first. If we like it, we may go back to the beginning. Also, in Torah, we desire shortcuts that give us the deepest instant message in the fewest words. That’s why some students yearn for Chassidic pearls but may have less patience for learning the minutia of the detailed halachot to keep them to perfection. In our spiritual work, it seems that the last few generations connect much more to the concept of Ahavat Hashem – Loving Hashem – which Chassidism emphasizes – than to the concept of Yirat Hashem – Fearing Hashem – which is quite foreign even for many – I was going to say – ‘G-d fearing people’! The concept of fear seems too solemn and formal for our disrespectful generation. We want the skip to the real deep stuff, we want to connect; we want the umph in our spiritual service, and we want to feel Hashem’s closeness, but are we ready to do the hard work and go through all the steps to get us there?

Why does the Torah Ask us to Fear G-d before Loving Hashem?

In Parashat Ekev, we read that the first step in our divine worship is “only to fear Hashem:”

ספר דברים פרק י פסוק יב וְעַתָּה יִשְׂרָאֵל מָה הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ שֹׁאֵל מֵעִמָּךְ כִּי אִם לְיִרְאָה אֶת הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ לָלֶכֶת בְּכָל דְּרָכָיו וּלְאַהֲבָה אֹתוֹ וְלַעֲבֹד אֶת הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל נַפְשֶׁךָ:

“And now, O Israel, what does Hashem, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear Hashem, your G-d, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to worship Hashem, your G-d, with all your heart and with all your soul” (Devarim 10:12).

Netivot Shalom asks: since we know that Ahavat Hashem is at a higher level than Yirat Hashem why does our verse precede fear of G-d to love of G-d? The same question can be asked on Tehillim 111:10: “The beginning of wisdom is the fear of Hashem; good understanding to all who perform them; his praise endures forever,” and on the verses following the Shema Yisrael that emphasize loving G-d. The Talmud teaches that it is greater to fulfill the mitzvot from love rather than from fear (Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 31a). The positive mitzvot which are linked with ‘love of G-d’ are greater than the negative mitzvot connected with ‘fear of G-d.’ Yet, only by cultivating fear of G-d can we reach the level of loving Hashem and serving Him with heart and soul. Although loving G-d and cleaving to Him is the highest level and the end goal towards which we strive, due to our yetzer hara (negative impulse), we can only reach this level by first eradicating this negative impulse through obtaining fear of G-d. As long as we haven’t purified ourselves from this inherent negative inclination as it states, “for the inclination of man's heart is evil from his youth” (Bereishit 8:21), it is impossible to reach true love of G-d.

Fear of G-d – The First Step to Self-Refinement

According to Ohr HaChayim, the reason that G-d asks only that we serve Him out of fear, and that He is seemingly satisfied with this level of service is that fear is an all-embracing emotion. When a person is afraid of the consequences of doing wrong, he will make certain that he does not do anything wrong. Moreover, Moshe hints that fear, i.e., reverence for G-d is a prerequisite of love for G-d. This is understood from his prefaces of our verse with the word וְעַתָּה/ve’ata – “and now.” This teaches us that for now, initially, all that G-d asks for is to fear Him, although this is not the final goal in serving Hashem. The expression וְעַתָּה/ve’ata – “and now” also refers to teshuva (Rav Tzaddok of Lublin, Pri Tzaddik, Bereishit 8 based on Midrash Bereishit Rabbah 21). The midrash learns this concept specifically from our Torah verse. By means of fear of G-d we can repent as Rashi says, “Even though you did all this, His compassion and affection are still upon you, and with all that you have sinned against Him, He demands nothing of you, except only to fear [Hashem, your G-d]. How does fear of G-d help us to repent? Since the negative impulse that caused us to sin is not logical, it is not possible to uproot it through even the sharpest intellectual approach. Yet fear of G-d purifies the flesh and blood, therefore it is the foundation of teshuva. This is appropriate for preparing for the month of Elul – the month of teshuva! Through fear of G-d, we can remove the impure lusts and return to purity and acquire true love of G-d, for fear is the opening to enter the gate of love. The reason for this is that a Jew is a part of G-d from above, and the Shechinah dwells within us, therefore it is natural for a Jew to love Hashem. It is only the negative impulse that blocks our natural love of G-d. That is why it’s impossible to achieve love of G-d except through fear that refines and purifies us from negative cravings.

Tapping into the Light of Shabbat by Beginning with Awe of G-d

The main fear of G-d is awe of Hashem’s greatness. By feeling the greatness of the Creator in our hearts we come to have awe of Him. The way to come to awe and love of G-d is through contemplating the deeds of creation and its great wonders. This makes us in awe of Hashem’s infinitely great wisdom, though being mindful in this way of the greatness of Hashem’s creation, we can achieve both awe and love of G-d. The Zohar points out that the word בראשית/bereishit consists of the same letters as the two words יראה /yirah – ‘awe’ and ‘שבת/Shabbat.’ What is the connection between Shabbat and fear or awe of G-d? Shabbat is arousal from above connected with love of G-d, as we know that Shabbat is designated to be Israel’s soulmate (Midrash Bereishit Rabbah 11:9). Yet, only by purifying ourselves through fear/awe of G-d will we be able to tap into the light of Shabbat and the love of G-d inherent in the holy Shabbat. We learn this concept from the word Bereishit which means “in the beginning.” Only by beginning with awe of G-d can we attain the elevated levels of Shabbat. In the same way, we begin the new year with the days of awe where the emphasis also is on fear/awe of G-d.

Emulating Hashem is a Prerequisite to Achieving Love of G-d

Why are the concepts of awe and love of G-d separated by the clause “to walk in His ways”?

There are three levels: Through acquiring fear of G-d we purify ourselves from the inclination to go astray from the straight path which enables us to walk in Hashem’s ways, which in return brings us to the highest level of love of G-d. Thus walking “in all His ways” is a preliminary preparation for learning to love Hashem. To walk in Hashem’s ways means to emulate His character traits, just as He is compassionate so must we be (Sifri Parashat Ekev Piska 13). Therefore, loving our fellow Jews is a spiritual remedy for achieving love of G-d. By walking in all of Hashem’s ways and purifying our character traits we may be able to achieve true love of Hashem!

EmunaHealing Exercise for Activating and Balancing our Will with Hashem’

1. Make yourself comfortable wherever you are and allow yourself to relax into your seat. Let your thoughts pass through you as you notice them without judging them. Breathe deeply and relax even more.

2. As you breathe slowly, contemplate the deeds of creation and its great wonders. Contemplate the greatness of everything Hashem has created and keep recreating every single second. Can anyone emulate the formation of the fruits on the trees… the intricate ecosystem, the orbits of the sun and the planets. “The heavens recite the glory of G-d, and the sky tells of the work of His hands” (Tehillim 19:2). Think about how Hashem created humanity with such wisdom… contemplate in details of the human body and how each limp and organ work together to maintain us. Think of the amazing digestive system that no other than G-d could conceive of.

3. The wonders of Hashem’s creation arouse awe of G-d. “What is it that G-d asks…only that you fear Him.” Fearing Hashem is surely not such an easy thing. In absolute terms, serving Hashem out of fear is something very great indeed. Can you get a feeling of Hashem’s awesome greatness that makes you recoil? Get in touch with your own minuscule smallness compared to the Almighty’s unparalleled magnitude. You have the opportunity to serve the greatest, most elevated being in the world. Do not let this opportunity pass by but make yourself ready to serve with all your heart, soul, and might.

4. Envision your worldly desires and negative cravings as a thick, black cloud. Your unrefined lust to stuff your face with more food than is good for you; your jealousy of the possessions and talents of others; your base need for compliments and attention etc. Now visualize how your awe of G-d becomes a bright light that makes the black cloud of your negative emotions evaporate, purifying you from your unholy cravings.

5. Allow yourself to feel how the blocks that have been blocking you from cleaving to G-d, are releasing. See if you feel lighter and more ready to serve G-d now.

6. G-d is compassionate and forgiving, His kindness has no bounds, and He is the ultimate truth.

Every possible good character trait is the way of Hashem. We are commanded to walk in G-d’s ways, by emulating Hashem’s character traits. Which character trait are you ready to work on right now? Imagine yourself acting, speaking, and thinking through having acquired the desired good trait.

7. Keep breathing and meditate on the concept of “fear is the opening to enter the gate of love.” Open your heart to feel Hashem’s infinite love for you. Contemplate all the blessings in your life that He has granted you. Even if you are going through a rough time, there are always some moments of goodness within each challenging test. Let your feeling of gratefulness fill your heart and spill over to become the deepest love of G-d that you are able to experience right now.

8. Imagine going about your life with this inner feeling of love of G-d permeating your every thought, speech, and action. When you are ready, open your eyes and return to the room with a resolve to walk in the way of G-d and come closer to Hashem in every mundane task in your everyday life.

Is There a Limit to Lengthening in Prayer?

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Parashat Vaetchanan

Is There a Limit to Lengthening in Prayer?

What is Wrong with Praying for a Specific Outcome?

Prayer is central in Judaism. One of the three pillars that the world stands on is service, which today refers to prayer (Pirkei Avot 1:2). The holy matriarchs and patriarchs pleaded with Hashem in heartfelt prayer, and Chana, the Mother of our Prayer, is known for lengthening in prayer for a son until she bore Shemuel. When I first came to Torah it was very difficult for me to pray, as it was something I had never learned to do or been used to. Even when I understood the Hebrew words of the Siddur, my mind would wander, and I lost focus. I asked my Rabbi for advice on this, and he told me to pray that I would be able to pray. That helped a little, but what really helps is having something of vital importance to pray for. Realizing that only Hashem has the power to grant my deepest aspirations, I would pour out my heart in prayer for a child, and I never stopped. Continuous prayer is needed for each stage of conception, pregnancy, birth, and child-rearing, and then for our son to find his other half, and it still doesn’t end here. Now, that thank G-d, Hashem has answered all these prayers, we continue to pray for a suitable home for the young couple. But is there a limit to how much we should pray? Can a person ever pray too much? It depends on what we are praying for. When I realized that praying for a specific outcome might not always be in our best interest, I stopped insisting in my prayer that Hashem grant my son and his bride a home in beautiful Bat Ayin. Although my husband and I are convinced that there is no better place for the young couple to start their married life than this loving, supportive community, our daughter-in-law- to-be feels otherwise. So, they have been looking in Jerusalem. It is quite challenging but realizing that only Hashem knows what’s really good for everyone, I changed my prayer from insisting that the couple find a place in Bat Ayin to praying that they find a home in a place that will be good for them.

Is There a Limit to How Much We Should Pray? Can a Person Ever Pray Too Much?

If a woman prays to marry a specific man, but he is not her predestined soulmate, her prayer can actually be harmful to her. Hashem may fulfill this prayer even if it goes against the master plan. Yet, just as it isn’t good for a child when his parents give in to his persistent cry for ice cream, it is not always in our favor to twist Hashem’s arm to grant us what we think we need. We cannot demand of Hashem what reality needs to be like, because we can never know anything for sure, we can only believe. There comes a place and time when we must accept Hashem’s will even if it may not be what we want. We are not in charge, and we mustn’t manipulate Hashem to fulfill our wishes. This is what Bilam tried to do through his witchcraft. Rather than praying for a specific outcome, Tefilah is to rise to the place where it is possible to receive the highest abundance that Hashem has dedicated specifically to us. The difference between manipulating Hashem and opening ourselves to receive Hashem’s blessing is very subtle. It can be compared to the prohibition to urge a person to give us an item that he doesn’t want to give. Asking is one thing, but to keep nudging is at best impolite and at worst bullying. So, too, in our relationship with Hashem, there comes a time when we must back off prayer. We learn a lesson on the limits of prayer in Parashat Va’etchanan. Moshe wanted so badly to enter the Land of Israel that he prayed for it 515 times, corresponding to the numerical value of the word וָאֶתְחַנַּן/Va’etchanan – “I beseeched,” and to the hours between Erev Rosh Hashana and the crack of dawn on Shemini Atzeret. Yet, Hashem did not even allow him to continue to pray for entering Israel. According to the midrash Hashem asked Moshe Rabbeinu to stop praying because otherwise, Hashem would have had to grant him permission to enter the Land. This teaches us the principle that it is possible to pray too much because it is considered as if the person ‘forces’ Hashem to do his will.

The Subtle Balance Between Asserting our Will and Aligning it with Hashem’s Will

In EmunaHealing we teach the importance of activating our will, as we recite in the Ashrei prayer: “umaspia l’chol chai ratzon” (Tehillim 145:16). This verse can be understood as

“Hashem influences and bestows upon each living being a will.” We all received a will. When someone doesn’t have a will, it is because she doesn’t reveal the will within her. Our will can be compared to gasoline, without which the vehicle will not move. We need a will to accomplish anything in life. Depressed people lose their will, and therefore have difficulty getting up in the morning. We need to actualize and live our will. לחיות את הרצון. The more we can peel off the various exterior layers, the more natural it is to be ourselves. Although we choose, we only choose a vessel, we need patience. We have no power over the results, we can only pray and accept that the rest is up to Hashem. There is a fine balance between activating our will and balancing it to align our will with Hashem’s and make His will our will (Pirkey Avot 2:4).

Will Moshe’s Prayers go Unanswered?

ספר דברים פרק ג פסוק כג וָאֶתְחַנַּן אֶל הָשֵׁם בָּעֵת הַהִוא לֵאמֹר: (כד) אֲדֹנָי הָשֵׁם אַתָּה הַחִלּוֹתָ לְהַרְאוֹת אֶת עַבְדְּךָ אֶת גָּדְלְךָ וְאֶת יָדְךָ הַחֲזָקָה אֲשֶׁר מִי אֵל בַּשָּׁמַיִם וּבָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר יַעֲשֶׂה כְמַעֲשֶׂיך וְכִגְבוּרֹתֶךָ: (כה) אֶעְבְּרָה נָּא וְאֶרְאֶה אֶת הָאָרֶץ הַטּוֹבָה אֲשֶׁר בְּעֵבֶר הַיַּרְדֵּן הָהָר הַטּוֹב הַזֶּה וְהַלְּבָנֹן:

“I implored Hashem at that time, saying, “O Hashem, You who let Your servant see the first works of Your greatness and Your mighty hand, You whose powerful deeds no god in heaven or on earth can equal! Let me, I pray, cross over and see the good land on the other side of the Jordan, that good hill country, and the Levanon” (Devarim 3:23-25).

I always cry over Moshe’s deep desire to enter the Land of Israel. Although his prayer wasn’t fulfilled in his lifetime, I believe that the power of his prayer instilled within the Jewish people the desire to make Aliyah for all generations to come. Moshe yearned to unify Hashem in the land, as “Whoever lives outside of the land is like someone who doesn’t have a G-d” (Babylonian Talmud, Ketuvot 110b). Therefore, Moshe used the term “your G-d” throughout the book of Devarim, to say that since the Israelites are entering into the Land Hashem’s name is called upon them (Siftei Kohen, Devarim 3:25). Rashi explains that the word וָאֶתְחַנַּן/va’etchanan is from the root חִנּוּן/chinun – ‘a free gift.’ Although the righteous may base a request on the merit of their good deeds, they request only a free gift of the Omnipresent. Alternatively, חִנּוּן/chinun is one of ten terms that denote prayer (Sifrei); (Rashi, Devarim 3:23). Moshe’s prayer furthermore teaches us that we must always praise G-d and afterward pray for our needs. The beginning of Moshe’s praise corresponds to the praises we recite in the opening of the silent Amidah prayer, “Your greatness” corresponds to –“The great G-d;” “Your mighty hand” to – You are mighty;” “Who is a god like You in heaven to – “You are Holy” (Chizkuni). Despite the sweetness of Moshe’s prayer, Hashem refused to grant the wishes of his soul.

ספר דברים פרק ג פסוק כו

וַיִּתְעַבֵּר הָשֵׁם בִּי לְמַעַנְכֶם וְלֹא שָׁמַע אֵלָי וַיֹּאמֶר הָשֵׁם אֵלַי רַב לָךְ אַל תּוֹסֶף דַּבֵּר אֵלַי עוֹד בַּדָּבָר הַזֶּה:

“Hashem was angry with me for your sake, and would not hear me, and Hashem said to me, ‘Let it be enough, speak no more to me of this matter’” (Devarim 3:26).

Despite our strong resolve and urgency to continue praying, we need to lower our expectations that Heaven must follow our wishes and dictates and have faith in and acceptance of the unknowable. Moshe accepts the fact that his prayers will go unanswered for now. Or rather, he understands that although Hashem always answers our prayers, sometimes the answer is no or not yet!”

EmunaHealing Exercise for Activating and Balancing our Will with Hashem’s

1. Let yourself relax on your chair or cushion and become aware of your breath. Take several deep breaths and feel your body settle down and relax.

2. Get in touch with your will. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Perhaps you can dismiss some of your cravings emanating from your lower will and focus on your deeper inner will – the will of your soul, to evolve toward your higher self and cleave to Hashem. Visualize yourself acting the way you really would want to act, possessing the positive traits you strive for, and thinking positive thoughts.

3. See if you can verbalize this vision in prayerful words such as “Hashem please empower and help me keep x mitzvah in a higher more complete way. You may repeat this prayer several times with greater intensity.

4. One of the reasons Moshe wanted so much to enter the Land was to be able to keep all the mitzvot that only apply in the Land of Israel. Get in touch with your own desire to live in the Holy Land. If you already live here, then tune into how you can better connect and appreciate this special merit for which Moshe cried and prayed numerous heartfelt prayers.

5. Take several deep breaths while you marvel at the wonder of the Promised Land and all its goodness despite whatever problems. Tune into the rose and disregard the thorns.

6. Return to focusing on your will. From where in your body does it emanate? Breathe your will into your head, throat, shoulders, arms, and fingers. Allow your will to enter your heart and penetrate it. Breathe your will into your stomach, liver spleen, and kidneys, and let your will flow down your legs all the way to your feet. Allow yourself to feel grounded in your will.

7. Take a few moments to get in touch with your higher will. Think of the five deepest yearnings in your life, perhaps you can connect each of your desires with one of your body parts. Before praying for them, take a moment to evaluate if your desires are aligned with Hashem’s will for you. You may adjust them to become more aligned. Keep in mind to pray more generally rather than for a specific outcome. Now, cry out to Hashem in heartfelt prayer for each of your desires while focusing on the body part where this desire resides. Then be still and breathe softly.

8. Let yourself hope that your prayers will be fulfilled, yet simultaneously let go of being demanding of Hashem. Accept that Hashem’s will is what ultimately determines the outcome of our prayers. See if you can rise to a place where you will be able to receive Hashem’s abundance for you. Whether or not it is Hashem’s will to grant you your wishes, accept whatever goodness Hashem has in store for you!

How do We Repair the Israelites’ Lack of Emunah?

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Parashat Devarim

How do We Repair the Israelites’ Lack of Emunah? 

Tapping Into Flashes of Experiencing Divine Providence in Our Lives

We need a lot of emunah (faith) to live in Israel. When we were first married, I tried to make a budget. I would write our estimated income (Aliyah support, tutoring, my husband’s occasional private patients…) on one side of the paper and our expenses on the other. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the numbers to match up. So, I crumbled the paper and threw it in the garbage, raising my arms to Hashem, praying, “Hashem please take care of us!” and it worked. I don’t know exactly how since we both were full-time yeshiva students. Whenever people would ask “How do you manage financially?” I would raise my head on high and respond: “Hashem!” We lived this way for seven full years, and this experience – etched so strongly in my soul – has been imprinting the rest of our lives. Whenever facing thorny challenges not knowing how to untangle myself from worry and pain, I tap into my latent emunah buried in my experiential memory of living directly by the hand of Hashem.

Although we know it, our yetzer hara often makes us forget that Hashem is in charge of everything, and since He is ultimately good, everything that happens to us must be for the good. When we feel abandoned to chance, we can strengthen our emunah by tapping into our past experiences of being keenly aware of the Divine supervision in our lives. This is one of the main reasons for keeping the Jewish holidays instructing us to constantly commemorate Hashem’s miracles during the Exodus from Egypt, the giving of the Torah, the deliverance from the Greeks and from Haman and his Henchmen etc.  

Do we Believe in the Miracles that we Ourselves have Experienced?

Emunah is not only vital for living in Israel but is also the main principle of life in general, as it states: Chabakuk came and established the 613 mitzvot upon one, as it states: “The righteous person shall live by his faith” (Chabbakuk 2:4); (Babylonian Talmud Makkot 24a). Yet the Israelites – during their journey in the wilderness – struggled greatly with their emunah. Although they had experienced Hashem’s repeated miracles, being nourished by the heavenly manna and quenching their thirst from the miraculous well, they expressed their wavering faith through constant complaint and fear of conquering the Promised Land. In the first chapter of the Book of Devarim, Moshe admonishes the Israelites for their lack of faith in Hashem their G-d:

ספר דברים פרק א פסוק כט וָאֹמַר אֲלֵכֶם לֹא תַעַרְצוּן וְלֹא תִירְאוּן מֵהֶם: (ל) הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ לִפְנֵיכֶם הוּא יִלָּחֵם לָכֶם כְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה אִתְּכֶם בְּמִצְרַיִם לְעֵינֵיכֶם: (לא) וּבַמִּדְבָּר אֲשֶׁר רָאִיתָ אֲשֶׁר נְשָׂאֲךָ הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ כַּאֲשֶׁר יִשָּׂא אִישׁ אֶת בְּנוֹ בְּכָל הַדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר הֲלַכְתֶּם עַד בֹּאֲכֶם עַד הַמָּקוֹם הַזֶּה:(לב) וּבַדָּבָר הַזֶּה אֵינְכֶם מַאֲמִינִם בַּהָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם:

“I said to you, “Do not be broken or afraid of them. Hashem, your G-d, Who goes before you He will fight for you, just as He did for you in Egypt before your very eyes, and in the desert, where you have seen how Hashem, your G-d, has carried you as a man carries his son, all the way that you have gone, until you have come to this place. But regarding this matter, you do not believe Hashem, your G-d (Devarim 1:29-32).        

Why did Moshe say: “In this matter you do not believe in G-d”? Moshe referred to the miracles when Hashem lifted the whole Jewish people out of Egypt just as a father carries his son. Yet, the Israelites did not even believe the miracles they themselves had experienced. This is alluded to in the Zohar’s well-known parable about the son who asks a stranger if he has seen his father, being oblivious that his father is carrying him on his shoulder. This is the meaning of “in this matter you did not have faith in Hashem your G-d.” In view of the continued miracles performed constantly by G-d there was no excuse for this lack of faith (Ohr Hachaim, Devarim 1:32). A child being carried on his father’s shoulders doesn’t necessarily see his father, likewise whenever we feel a lack of faith and distanced from Hashem, we are unmindful of Hashem’s perpetual protecting presence carrying us through the hardships of our lives.

We Need to Strong Rectified Emunah to Enter the Land of Israel

According to Rashi “this matter” in which the Israelites lacked belief refers to Hashem’s promises to bring them to the Land of Israel. Likewise, Rebbe Natan of Breslev expounds: Parashat Devarim is replete with words of rebuke for the Israelites causing their own delay to linger in the desert for forty years. This was due to the sin of the Golden Calf and the sin of the spies who blemished emunah, as it states, “But regarding this matter, you do not believe Hashem, your G-d (Devarim 1:32). The main tikkun (rectification) for entering the Land of Israel is emunah. This is “The strength of His works He related to His people, to give them the inheritance of the nations” (Tehillim 111:6). Since “the entire earth belongs to the Almighty; He created it and gave it to whomever He deemed proper, it follows that when He wished, He gave it to them, and when He wished, He took it away from them and gave it to us” (Rashi, Bereishit 1:1). Due to the Israelites’ lack of emunah in this principle, they caused their delay in entering Israel. This lack of Emunah also brought about the destruction of the temples and it strengthened the other side to expel the Jewish people from our land. To this day the nations still say: “You are thieves, by taking hold of the Land of Israel.” Israel’s blemished emunah in Hashem’s justified power to give us the Land of Israel empowers their claim. All exiles and destructions are caused by the Israelites’ lack of emunah in our right to the Land of Israel. Therefore, we read Parashat Devarim with Moshe’s rebuke about this matter (Devarim 1:32) the Shabbat before the ninth of Av, when we mourn for the exiles and destructions of the temples. The following shabbat we read Parashat Va’etchanan, to draw down the immense gift that Moshe granted us through his numerous prayers to come to the land of Israel (Likutei Halachot, Hilchot Chol Hamo’ed, Shomer Sachar 4). The current Aliyah surge indicates that more and more Jewish people are beginning to believe in our deserving the Land of Israel. This will with – the help of Hashem – silence the malicious claims against our inherent right to the Promised Land.

Only Through Emunah Can we Succeed

Whenever we are on the way to holiness and achieving great achievements, the doubts of ‘the other side’ attempt to confuse us and make us lose our connections with Hashem and kedusha.

To succeed in anything, we must believe in what we are doing. By strengthening our emunah in Hashem, we can learn to believe in whatever Hashem guides us to do. EmunaHealing is all about emunah. To succeed in EmunaHealing it is vital to believe in the power of spiritual healing. Even if we are beginners and our work is only 40% accurate, we still need to believe in our ability to channel Hashem’s healing power. Gradually very gradually we learn to become more accurate, and our channel will become more and more pure. Without this emunah we will be unable to achieve the desired results. For example, when I first started doing my annual juice fast, it didn’t work, because I stopped believing 100% that the juice fast was good for me. I was not in a supportive environment, my husband the Dr. doesn’t believe in juice fasts, and people were telling me that I looked horrible… I became more and more doubtful, and this lack of emunah affected my immune system, so I contracted an ear infection. In subsequent years, I have learned to protect myself from negative comments of others and believe in the efficiency of my annual juice fast to cleanse my body. Baruch Hashem, with this positive attitude and emunah in what I am doing I have experienced amazing healing results.

EmunaHealing Exercise for Tuning into Hashem’s Perpetual, Protective Presence

1. Settle yourself in a beautiful comfortable place where you can be alone with yourself and with Hashem. Breathe deeply and become aware of your thoughts.

2. Do you have any fears and worries that suck your energy and weaken you? Allow all these fearful worried thoughts to surface into your conscious mind. Explore them without judging them. Validate their existence and breathe into them.

3. Whenever we harbor negative thoughts, we are oblivious to Hashem’s presence in our lives. Remind yourself that Hashem is with you even within your fears and worries. Envision yourself as a child on the shoulders of your Almighty Father. Until recently you were unaware that you are riding on Hashem’s shoulders. Now breathe into this image of being carried by your Almighty Father, feeling supported and cared for. 

4. While continuing to breathe mindfully recall a potent memory where you clearly felt Hashem’s presence in your life. What did it feel like when you became aware of the divine supervision in your personal life. Tune into the feeling of emunah you had then.

5. Breathe into the emunah you had when you felt so supported by Hashem and amplify it. Can you tap into this feeling of faith right now?

6. Now meditate on the miracles you have experienced in your life, as you tune into your personal miracles imagine turning up the volume of your emunah as you would turn up the volume on your speaker or phone.

7. Imagine placing the emunah you experienced in the past into your handbag and bringing it into your present life. Can you superimpose your past emunah unto your current fearful and worried thoughts?

8. If your emunah could speak what would it tell your fears and worries? Give your emunah its proper voice and allow it to assuage all your fears and worries. You may want to extend this speech into a dialogue between your emunah and your negative thoughts. Imagine how they would respond to your voice of emunah but allow your emunah to get the last word! 

How do We Cleanse our Guilty Conscience Towards Others and Hashem?

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Parashat Matot/Masei
How do We Cleanse our Guilty Conscience Towards Others and Hashem? 

What is the Difference Between Guilt and Remorse?

“I didn’t do it!” is my instinctive reaction as soon as I hear my husband asking with a tad of irritation, “Who took my screwdriver? Since there are basically only two of us living in our home such questions and similar ones – that I often hear – sound to me like accusations. “Why do you have such guilty consciousness?” asks my husband, as often the various questions of “Do you know where my x is?”  or “How did my x break?” etc. are not necessarily meant as accusations, but I immediately feel that perhaps I did something… In general, whenever something happens, I often feel that it is my fault. So, I’m actually guilty of having a guilty consciousness! There is an up and a downside to blaming ourselves whenever something goes wrong. It is important to take responsibility for our actions, admit, apologize, and rectify. Feeling guilty can thus be the first step of teshuva – also called regret or remorse. Yet there is a difference between guilt and remorse. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, guilt is a feeling of having done something wrong. Yet, remorse is a deep regret for a wrong committed. Whereas a guilty person wallows in the guilt for his past, remorse is the beginning of change to become better in the future. Feeling guilty is not a mitzvah because it is focusing more on ourselves than on the person we have wronged. We feel bad because of our damaged self-image. Remorse, on the other hand, focuses on the other person and how to rectify having mistreated him. It’s about genuinely caring for others and taking steps towards correcting our mistakes. Whereas feeling guilty is becoming helpless victims unable to extradite ourselves from the traps of our shame, repentance is the moral clarity that propels us forward, breaking through the chains of being held back by our negative past. According to the Torah, we are all essentially good (Rav Kook, Orot Yisra’el 1:4), but we aren’t always connected to the goodness in ourselves. Teshuva – ‘return’ is the process of returning to our higher selves.

Becoming Acceptable both in the Eyes of People and in Hashem’s Eyes

When the tribes of Reuven, Gad, and half of Menashe requested to remain on the other side of the Jordan River because the land of Gilead was suitable for their great livestock, Moshe was displeased. This would discourage the rest of the children of Israel from crossing the Jordan River and conquering the Promised Land. Moreover, how would it be fair for these tribes to remain in relative safety outside of the war zone when their brothers had to endanger their lives by going to war? (Bamidbar 32:2-7). The two-and-a-half tribes then offered to join the rest of the Israelites in the war of conquest promising their full support “until each of the children of Israel had taken possession of his inheritance” (Bamidbar 32:18). Moshe then became pleased with the tribes of Reuven, Gad and half of Menashe, as they were now rectifying the guilt of their selfishness by taking responsibility to participate fully in conquering all of the Promised Land.

ספר במדבר פרק לב פסוק כ וַיֹּאמֶר אֲלֵיהֶם משֶׁה אִם תַּעֲשׂוּן אֶת הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה אִם תֵּחָלְצוּ לִפְנֵי הָשֵׁם לַמִּלְחָמָה: (כא) וְעָבַר לָכֶם כָּל חָלוּץ אֶת הַיַּרְדֵּן לִפְנֵי הָשֵׁם עַד הוֹרִישׁוֹ אֶת אֹיְבָיו מִפָּנָיו :(כב) וְנִכְבְּשָׁה הָאָרֶץ לִפְנֵי הָשֵׁם וְאַחַר תָּשֻׁבוּ וִהְיִיתֶם נְקִיִּם מֵהָשֵׁם וּמִיִּשְׂרָאֵל וְהָיְתָה הָאָרֶץ הַזֹּאת לָכֶם לַאֲחֻזָּה לִפְנֵי הָשֵׁם:

“Moshe said to them, ‘If you do this thing, if you arm yourselves for battle before Hashem, and your armed force crosses the Jordan before Hashem until He has driven out His enemies before Him, and the Land will be conquered before Hashem, afterwards you may return, and you shall be clean before Hashem and from Israel, and this land will become your heritage before Hashem” (Bamidbar 32:20-22).

The word הַזֶּה/haze – “this” in “If you do this thing” has the numerical value of the word טוב/tov – ‘good’ (17). This teaches us that we need to both be good towards Hashem and towards people. “There is no good except Torah (Babylonian Talmud, Berachot 5a). Therefore, scripture said “If you do this thing” – which is the holy Torah, to be good towards both Hashem and towards people, this is a perpetual mitzvah, as it states, “You shall keep this matter as a statute for you and for your children forever” (Shemot 12:24). (Ohev Yisrael, Parashat Bo). We must always keep both love of the Creator and love of our fellow Jews in our hearts together (Tiferet Shlomo, Parashat Pinchas). We must also avoid acting in ways that attract unnecessary suspicion and appear justified before people just as we must appear justified before HaMakom (the Omnipresent) as it states: “You shall be guiltless before Hashem and before Israel.” A person collecting funds from the chamber must not enter while wearing a cuffed garment, not with a shoe, a sandal, tefillin, or an amulet, since all of these have places into which money can be inserted. The concern is that perhaps the one collecting the funds will one day become poor, and people will say that it is because of the sin of stealing the shekels of the chamber as they will suspect that he stole money and hid it in those places. Or perhaps he will become rich and people will say that he became rich from stealing the funds of the chamber, even though he did not actually do so (Jerusalem Talmud Shekalim 3:2).

Evolving from Self-centered Guilt Towards Selfless Remorse of Teshuva

Moshe’s response to the tribes of the other side of the Jordan indicates, how they could rectify their materialistic desire by not only arming themselves for battle before the Israelites as they offered (Bamidbar 32:17), but by doing so “before Hashem” as well. Only by correcting themselves both before others and before G-d can we become guiltless. This is because the mitzvot from the Torah need intention – to be for the sake of Hashem (Rav Tzvi Elimelech of Dubno, Agra d’Kallah, p. 294a). Most people just care about what others will say, but how would it benefit us if we were respected by a thousand people but despised before Hashem? Conversely, why would it matter how many people honor us as long as we find favor with Hashem? Yet it is vital to act correctly towards people for the sake of Hashem and be accepted by both as it states, “Find favor and good understanding in the sight of G-d and man” (Mishlei 3:4); (Rabi Eliezer Papo, Hanhagot Tzaddikim, Hanhagot Yesharot 25).

At first, the tribes of Reuven, Gad, and half of Menasha, acted from a place of guilt rather than true remorse of teshuva. They were mainly concerned with their self-image and how they would appear in the eyes of the rest of the Israelites. Yet through Moshe’s gentle reprimand, they learned to rectify themselves both before others and before Hashem. By following this example, we too can move from the unhealthy self-centered guilt that is preoccupied with our self-image and with what others think of us. We can transform guilt into sincere remorse of repentance by evolving towards selfless dedication to something greater than ourselves – dedication to Hashem.

EmunaHealing Exercise for Transforming Guilt Feelings to Repentance
1. Make yourself relaxed on your cushion or chair and lean back if that feels comfortable.  You may want to close your eyes to be able to better focus inwardly. Take several deep breaths and relax even more.
2. As random thoughts enter your mind notice if you are harboring any guilt feelings. Perhaps you were rude to your primary school teacher or shoplifted when you were a teenager? Have you purposely hurt others, teased a younger sibling, or taken revenge? Even now as an adult, you may still feel guilty about the past or perhaps about something you did and said more recently, even yesterday. Allow yourself to get in touch with any possible guilt feelings whether revealed or concealed and repressed.
3. Do a body scan and notice where in the body your guilt feelings have attached themselves.
Perhaps in your throat or in your chest or guts? Tune in to your aching pain of guilt. What color, texture, and intensity does it have? Just allow yourself to notice without trying to change anything yet. We need to unearth the stains before being able to cleanse them.
4. Within the feelings of guilt or behind them, you may notice the feeling of despair and helplessness. Do you have a ‘storytelling yourself “I’m no good”? Where does it come from? Have you been overly criticized and put down during your childhood? Perhaps some of your current relationships still victimize you? Let yourself feel your feelings of inferiority, lowliness, and inadequacy. Inhale deeply and let out a loud sigh while exhaling. Repeat this way of breathing and sighing four additional times.
5. Does your guilt mainly center around your low self-image? Are you more concerned about how others see you and how you see yourself, than actually rectifying the wrongdoing? Even if you feel helpless, how would you be able to rectify it anyway? Breathe into your lowliness, inferiority, and helplessness.
6. Do you have to be stuck in the muck forever? Is there no way to lift yourself up from feeling so inadequate? Are you ready to begin the work of transforming your guilt?
Play with the idea of rewriting or editing the ‘story’ you have been telling yourself from “I’m no good” to “I’m created by Hashem who loves me!” or “I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have,” or any other positive affirmation that you can think of right now.
7. Meditate on the following teachings by Rav Kook: “The powerful desire to be good to everyone, without limitation of the quantity of those benefiting nor of the quality of the benefits - this is the inner kernel of the essence of the soul of the Community of Israel.  This is its inheritance and the legacy from its ancestors, and this is the secret of the nation’s longing for redemption which gives it strength to live and exist…” How does your desire to be good to both people and Hashem express itself?
8. Tune into your inner goodness concealed inside or behind the feeling of helplessness within your guilt. Breathe in your own goodness and with your out-breath project them unto the places in your body where your guilt resides. Imagine rays of light emanating from the deepest place within, erasing each of your unrectified guilt feelings, little by little.
9. Allow yourself to accept that you aren’t helpless, through your inert desire to be good you can heal the shadows of your life. Envision the changes you want to enact to rectify your wrongdoing, whether of the past or of your current struggles. Visualize acting and being the person, you aspire to be. Hashem is empowering you with the power of change. You can return to yourself – to who you really are!

How Does the Perpetual Elevation Offering Teach Us Equanimity?

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Parashat Pinchas
How Does the Perpetual Elevation Offering Teach Us Equanimity?

How can our Belief in Hashem’s Goodness Affect our Attitude to Hardships?

You don’t have to be bipolar to suffer from mood swings. Everyone and especially women experience ups and downs. There is even a kabbalistic term describing this phenomenon: Mochin de’Gadlut – expanded consciousness, and Mochin de’Katnut – constricted consciousness. As these terms indicate, mood swings have nothing to do with your life circumstances at any given moment. It is possible to experience expanded consciousness even when G-d forbid facing tragedy. It’s not easy to achieve such a place of spiritual freedom, joy, love, and fulfillment when in the midst of great hardships, but this is the goal towards which every believing Jew must aspire. Knowing that Hashem is the Master of the Universe in charge of EVERYTHING that happens everywhere and being aware that כָּל דְּעָבִיד רַחְמָנָא - לְטַב עָבִיד (בבא קמה לח) – “Everything the Compassionate One does is for the good” (Babylonian Talmud Baba Kama 38), how can we not be constantly happy? If our belief is more than just lip service, our hearts must be perpetually filled with love, trust, and acceptance of whatever Hashem dishes out to us. When in the state of expanded consciousness, we can break through, triumph over our emotional-intellectual-spiritual limitations, and express our latent powers of divine connection. Yet, unfortunately, even if we would never admit it, when life doesn’t unfold our way, we may harbor repressed resentment towards Hashem, struggling with the feeling that He has turned his back on us, no longer caring about us. How can we elevate ourselves out of this state of constricted consciousness? How can we overcome the negative impulse of sadness and feeling estrangement?

The Key to Feeling Constantly Cheerful Through Thick and Thin

I’m feeling so elated that my son finally got engaged! It now is becoming crystal clear how all the hardships our family went through during the last decade led us to this happy celebration. Yet when we were in the midst of the murkiest challenges, on the verge of despair, not yet glimpsing the light at the end of the tunnel, how could we perceive Hashem’s goodness and His love for us? If only I had known that in another decade, year, or month my prayers would be fulfilled, the years of waiting wouldn’t have been so unbearable. Like a pregnant mother with swollen legs, heartburn, heaviness, or other side effects, she can bear it all when she imagines the baby she soon will birth. So, the key to feeling constantly cheerful through thick and thin is developing our sense of imagination, to envision all the possible good that ensues from our present suffering. Had we not been waiting so many years for our son to get engaged, we would not have felt as elated when it finally happened. The deeper the pain the greater the gain! From our peak of joy, we can now fathom the good points of being down and low. I believe the secret to acquiring the constancy in our Divine service, is to superimpose our moments of spiritual highs unto the bleak epochs of gloom. By learning to perpetually cleave to Hashem and remember His prior kindness, whether to us or to our ancestors, we can elevate the hard times and infuse them with eternal joy.   

Unpacking the Secret to Equanimity

Sarah our Matriarch possessed the secret to equanimity – as it states, “The life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah” (Bereishit 23:1). Rash”i learns from the apparently redundant phrase “Shnei Chayei Sarah” – “the years of the life of Sarah” – that all her years were equally good. It is a very high level to achieve such a temimut (wholeheartedness) regardless of what we are going through. Although the beginning of Sarah’s life bore many difficulties such as famine, being taken captive by Pharaoh, and Avimelech, and only at the end of her life she experienced great blessings. Nevertheless, she never changed her positive attitude with the changes in her life. Therefore, it says about Sarah: “She bestows good and never bad all the days of her life.” Her perfection was above the effects and changes of time and therefore she was able to withstand any test (Sefat Emet, Parashat Chayei Sarah, Year 1896).

Rising Perpetually to Focus on the Good Beyond the Changes of the Times

In Parashat Pinchas we are told to offer a עֹלָה תָמִיד/olah tamid – ‘perpetual elevation offering:’ 

ספר במדבר פרק כח פסוק ג וְאָמַרְתָּ לָהֶם זֶה הָאִשֶּׁה אֲשֶׁר תַּקְרִיבוּ לַהָשֵׁם כְּבָשִׂים בְּנֵי שָׁנָה תְמִימִם שְׁנַיִם לַיּוֹם עֹלָה תָמִיד:

“You shall say to them: This is the fire offering which you shall offer to Hashem: two unblemished lambs in their first year each day as a continual burnt offering” (Bamidbar 28:3).

It didn’t say olat tamid – ‘a perpetual burnt offering’ but olah tamid – ‘perpetually rising’ for we are called upon to perpetually rise before the measure of judgment and offer defense for others (Siftei Kohen, Bamidbar 28:3). The tzaddikim (righteous) only look at the good points of Israel, to awaken them from slumber. Their eyes always look upward, that is – upon the good points within Israel which rise above to the highest realm. Tzaddikim don’t want to look down at all, that is – at their evil, for the good is the aspect of above, whereas the bad is the aspect of below. This is the explanation of “Who knows the spirit of people which ascends on high, and the spirit of the beast which descends below to the earth?” (Kohelet 3:21); (Rebbe Natan of Breslev, Likutei Halachot, Orach Chaim, Hilchot Techumin Ve’iruvei. Halacha 6). Rising above perpetually to focus only on the good is what enables us to rise beyond the changes of the times like Sarah, our Mother, to tap into true inner joy unaffected by our external circumstances.

EmunaHealing Exercise for Achieving Steadfast, Perpetual Equanimity

1. Sit upright supported by the back of your chair or cushion, by the wall or if you are able, sit upright with a straight back without any support.  Close your eyes and inhale slowly.

2. Breathe deeply through your nose and imagine that your head is being pulled upward with an invisible string connecting you with the Above. Become aware of your body and how you are sitting steadfastly straight as you lift your chest and heart upwards. Your feet are firmly planted on the earth and your seat touching the ground or cushion with your arms resting relaxed at your side. Envision a straight line from your lower back through your neck all the way to the top of your head.

3. Now imagine a flame of fire rising upward above your head and directing your entire being towards the higher Divine realms. Envision that you are rising with the flame, you are perpetually rising upwards. Whatever distracting thoughts come your way, bring yourself back to being the perpetual flame, rising, rising, rising! Only seeing the good points in yourself and others.

4. Even if negative thoughts distract you to try to get you down, just let them pass through you and reconnect with the flame directed to the above. Keep steadfastly rising!

5. Just as the rose, when it is placed between the thorns, the northern wind pushes it towards the south and the thorn stings it; the southern wind pushes it towards the north and the thorn stings it. Nevertheless, its heart is directed straight to the Above. Similarly, Israel – although they are dried up, suffering, and under forced labor – their heart is directed towards their Father in heaven… (Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 23:5).

6. Imagine the fiery flame merging with the rose that withstands the wind and the changes of the times. So many challenges try to push you down, restrict your consciousness, and make you small-minded, yet you continue to steadfastly rise above. Breathe in while envisioning the word Olah – ‘rise,’ and breathe out while focusing on the word tamid – ‘perpetually.’ Repeat 4 additional times.

7. You are constantly becoming an olah tamid always rising up to G-d, despite all the obstacles. No pain – whether physical or emotional – can get you down because you are aware of the ultimate goodness of Hashem, the Almighty. Nothing less than the very best emanates from Him, even if it isn’t always apparent, your heart knows it, and your emunah keeps rising with the upward flame.

8. Breathe into Hashem’s goodness. כָּל דְּעָבִיד רַחְמָנָא - לְטַב עָבִיד/kol d’avid, Rachmana, l’tav avid – Everything the Compassionate One does, He does for the good! Be still and allow yourself to feel Hashem’s immense love for you right now! Raise your arms above your head and receive the Divine abundance and blessings and imagine sending them to different parts of your being while gently caressing the aura surrounding you.

9. You are an olah tamid – a perpetually offering! As you are embraced by Hashem’s love, your entire being yearns to become One with the Divine. Become aware of how the feeling of equanimity gradually settles within you and calms your spirit. Whenever you are ready you may open your eyes and reinter your world with renewed aspirations and calmness.