Are Women Obligated to Eat Matzah and Meat During the Pesach Seder?

Parashat Bo
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The Meat Misunderstanding

Most ba’alei teshuva (returnees to Judaism) have been vegetarian at some point of their lives, and some still are. This spiritual yearning and compassion for every living being has saved us from eating unkosher meat in our ‘past lives.’ It also expresses our yearning for living ascetic lives without taking more from the world than what our essential needs require. Although the Torah permits taking the lives of kosher animals for human consumption, there is a great concern about the way animals are treated in the modern, industrial world. We often have vegetarian, gluten-intolerant students at Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin and when Pesach comes around, certain questions arise. I recall, about 40 years ago, to have been told that everyone must eat at least a kezayit of meat on the Seder night, in commemoration of the Pascal sacrifice. With hindsight, I believe that I probably misunderstood this.  Although a kezayit of meat (about 28 gram), is the minimum portion necessary for fulfilling the commandment to eat the Korban Pesach, ever since our Holy Temple was destroyed, we have been unable to reinstate the Pesach sacrifice. Sadly, today, all there is left of the Korban Pesach is the ‘shank-bone,’ often in the form of a chicken wing – which no-one eats – placed on the upper right-hand corner of the Seder plate. In addition, at the end of the Seder, we eat the afikoman – a kezayit of matzah – to commemorate the mitzvah of eating the meat of the Korban Pesach. Thus, today no one – be it men or women – are obligated to eat actual meat on the Seder night.

The Matzah Mitzvah from the Torah Today

Yet, gluten intolerant or not, we all have a Torah command (d’oraita), to eat a kezayit of matzah at the Seder. Although eating matzah at the Pesach Seder is a time-bound, positive mitzvah, from which women are generally exempt, “Women are obligated in [the mitzvah of] eating matzah by Torah law…Whoever is subject to “You shall eat no chametz (leavened bread)” is subject to the [mitzvah of] eating matzah. This pertains to women… (Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 43b). The Gemara establishes that there is a connection between the prohibition of chametz and the obligation to eat matzah. Since women are forbidden to eat chametz, they must also eat matzah on the night of the seder. The prohibition of chametz and the commandment to eat matzah constitute a single unit. Luckily, it is possible to obtain gluten-free, oat matzah, so that we all have the ability to fulfill this Torah mitzvah – pertaining to all times – of eating matzah on Seder night!

Soon Every Man and Woman Must Eat Meat 

Yet, there will come a day, and it could be tomorrow, when even the most vegetarian, vegan woman must eat meat! As soon as we reinstate the Pesach Offering, women too, will have a Torah obligation to partake of it. According to Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Yose, we slaughter a Paschal offering for a woman separately, whereas according to Rabbi Shimon we do not – she can join a group of men and participate in their Paschal offering. We learn that a woman is obligated to bring a Paschal offering from the verse, “And if the household be too little for a lamb, let him and his neighbor next to his house take it according to the number of the souls; according to every man's eating shall you make your count for the lamb” (Shemot 12:4). The neutral term “souls” includes both men and women (Pesachim 91b). Indeed, the Rambam rules that women are obligated in the Paschal offering just like men (Hilchot Korban Pesach 1:1).

Let’s Offer the Pesach Sacrifice This Year!

If you think we must wait until the Temple is rebuilt to offer the Pesach Sacrifice, you are mistaken. All the meat sacrifices were done in the courtyard of the Temple Mount, outside the actual Temple. Since 1967, the Temple Mount was theoretically returned to Jewish hands, so what are we waiting for? According to the Rambam, we don’t need to wait for the Temple to be rebuild before offering the Korban Pesach: 

רמב"ם יד החזקה הלכות קרבן פסח פרק א מצות עשה לשחוט את הפסח בארבעה עשר לחדש ניסן אחר חצות ואין שוחטין אלא מן הכבשים או מן העזים בלבד זכר בן שנה ואחד האיש ואחד האשה חייבין במצוה זו:

It is a positive commandment to offer the Pesach sacrifice on the fourteenth day of the month of Nisan after midday. This offering is brought only from lambs or goats, a male in its first year. Both men and women are obligated in this mitzvah (Rambam, Laws of Pesach Sacrifice 1:1).

Historically, the Pesach sacrifice was offered even after we no longer had a Temple: Rabban Gamliel who lived a hundred years after the destruction, commanded his servant to roast the Korban Pesach (Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 87b). Caesar Yostaninos issued an edict forbidding the Jews from sacrificing the Korban Pesach as late as the Sixth Century of the Common Era. This shows that Jews were still offering the Korban Pesach long after the destruction of the Temple. The reason we have not yet been able to reinstate the Pesach Offering is more political than halachic. Part of our people believe that we must passively await redemption to drop down from heaven, whereas an increasing number of Jews believe that redemption comes in stages as a teamwork between Hashem and His people, who make active preparations. Through archaeological discoveries, we can now determine the areas that can be visited by Jews even in a state of impurity, and which areas remain off limits. Through modern technology, such as laser cutting instruments, we can construct an altar today without metallic tools. The mitzvah to offer up and partake in the Korban Pesach is obligatory for men, women and children. It is even possible for groups of women to perform the mitzvah together. (Based on http://www.thesanhedrin.org/vaad/KorbanPesach/En/korban/pesach_now.htm).

Raising Up the Sparks from the Material Meat

ספר שמות פרק יב פסוק ח וְאָכְלוּ אֶת הַבָּשָׂר בַּלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה צְלִי אֵשׁ וּמַצּוֹת עַל מְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ:

“And on this night, they shall eat the flesh, roasted over the fire, and matzah with bitter herbs they shall eat it” (Shemot 12:8).

The three different eating mitzvot during Seder Night correspond to three different ways of partaking of the material. Matzah – Poor Man’s Bread – corresponds to the bare essentials. Everybody needs to eat in order to survive, unless you are a breatharian!  The dry humble bread of matzah represents this basic need, as it states, “Such is the way [of a life] of Torah: you shall eat bread with salt, and rationed water shall you drink; you shall sleep on the ground, your life will be one of privation, and in Torah shall you labor” (Pirkei Avot 6:4). The bitter herbs, although they are bitter, represent a way of living that supplies a little extra in life. Vegetables add color and zest, not to talk about vitamins, to our diet. Greens were not always obtainable in every land at every season, so it can be considered something a little special. (I call it green gold!) Meat, however, represents absolute luxury, without which we can easily survive, and even thrive! Before Noach’s Ark, meat used to be off limits to humans, and when we had a Temple or Tabernacle, we were only permitted to eat in those holy places as part of our sacrifices. Thus, in the Torah, consuming meat is reserved for special occasions, such as the partaking of the Pesach sacrifice. Every physical item has a spark of G-dliness that can be uplifted by using that item for a positive action or in the service of Hashem. Whichever material items Hashem sends on our path, offers us the opportunity to elevate their sparks. Certain material matters are at home in our daily lives, while others are occasional guests. Our calling to elevate sparks, manifests most distinctly through eating in general, but particularly during Pesach. This mitzvah pertains equally to men and women. Perhaps women have an even greater affinity for elevating the sparks of food, since it is our task to rectify Chava’s eating from the Tree of Knowledge, which caused the divine sparks to be scattered in the first place. Thus, it makes sense that women are obligated, no less than men, in all the mitzvot pertaining to eating on the Seder night!

Why Should Women Listen to the Rabbis?

Parashat Vaera
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The Authority Crisis Preceding the Final King, Mashiach

There is a common feministic misbelief, that the Rabbis made up all the rules and since they were all men, they had no understanding of the world of women. Therefore, they are not qualified as an authority for women to heed. Women want to be their own Rabbis, so why not? Since women excel as lawyers and judges in the secular world, why can’t we be ordained Rabbis in the Torah world?  And even if we can’t be Rabbis, why should we listen and defer to a set of archaic rules, dictated by male-chauvinistic Rabbis? Today, listening in general is difficult. Children don’t want to listen to their parents or teachers. Husbands and wives have a hard time hearing each other, and the people don’t want to heed their leaders. When I accompanied my mother and sisters to Petra recently, what impressed me more than the relics of ancient caves, tombs and temples, was the Jordanian respect for their sovereign king, whom they believe leads them in justice. This contrasts with the way of the Western world, in which several prime ministers have a criminal case against them. The Jordanian submission to their king, gave me a model for the paradigm shift awaiting us, when the world will soon learn to accept, respect and heed our King, the Mashiach. Meanwhile, we live in a time when “the judges judge one another, and everyone does what is straight in his own eyes.” (Ruth 1:1; Shoftim 17:6). This is due to our living in the era of Mashiach ben Yosef. In this time, as our consciousness evolves there is confusion which causes an authority crisis. This must precede the shift, when we will crown our final Mashiach – Mashiach ben David.

The Spiritual Revolution (Especially for Women) During the Era of Mashiach ben Yosef

The entire 39 verses of Chapter 31 of the prophet Yirmeyahu (the haftorah for the second day of Rosh Hashana), describes the era of Mashiach ben Yosef in detail. It is amazing to experience how almost every part of this prophetic chapter is being fulfilled in our time. The main themes relating to our topic are the transformation of women’s role, and the ability to learn directly from Hashem without the need for a teacher. “Yet again will I rebuild you, then you shall be built, O virgin of Israel; yet again shall you be adorned with your tambourines, and you shall go out with the dances of those who rejoice” (Yirmeyahu 31:3). Although this verse also alludes to the rebuilding of the Temple, on a literal (p’shat) level it describes the woman’s evolving role, from a subservient maidservant drawing water from the well, to a joyous creative woman expressing her own voice. The curse of, “to your husband shall be your desire (dependence) and he shall rule over you” (Bereishit 3:16), is expiring, as women’s own independent light rapidly increases. This leads to additional shifts in the male/female dynamic, as described further on in this prophetic chapter: “How long will you hide, O wild daughter? For Hashem has created something new on the earth, a woman shall surround a man (Yirmeyahu 31:21). Gaining our own voice, opinion and independence (both spiritually and financially) creates a greater challenge for women to accept the authority of ‘the rabbis.’ Furthermore, everyone, man and woman, are becoming less dependent on teachers and Rabbis as the direct connection with the Divine spark within our soul grows. Eventually, “no one will any longer teach his neighbor or his brother, saying, ‘Know Hashem,’ for they shall all know Me from their smallest to their greatest, says Hashem…” (Ibid. 33). I have personally experienced this “knowing” in my spiritual healing practice. By tuning into Hashem’s voice within, I may receive Divine answers for life questions.

Impeded Listening Ability Caused by Constraints

For the Israelites during the Egyptian exile, it was also hard to listen to their Rabbi, Moshe Rabbeinu, yet for very opposite reasons:

ספר שמות פרק ו פסוק ט וַיְדַבֵּר משֶׁה כֵּן אֶל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וְלֹא שָׁמְעוּ אֶל משֶׁה מִקֹּצֶר רוּחַ וּמֵעֲבֹדָה קָשָׁה:

“Moshe spoke thus to the children of Israel, but they did not listen to Moshe because of [their] shortness of breath and because of [their] hard labor” (Shemot 6:9).

When we are stressed and under a lot of pressure it is hard for us to listen to anyone. When our survival instinct prompts us to enter the ‘flight, fight or freeze’ mode, there is no room for heeding even our closest friend. When we are in “shortness of breath” mode, we become stuck in a panic situation, without the ability to even listen to our own inner voice, emanating from the Divine spark within. During these situations of our personal ‘mitzraim’ (constraints), we need to sit ourselves down and lengthen our “shortness of breath” by taking several deep, slow breaths to center ourselves. With such meditative practice, we can learn to listen again. Thus, there are two opposite poles that challenge our ability to listen: Being short of breath by enslavement, pressure and various constraints on the one hand, and being independent and self-contained on the other. 

The Importance of Listening and Accepting

Returning to our original question of why women should listen to the rabbis, it is tempting for “a wild woman” to ‘run’ without ‘returning’ due to her spirit of independence both from the men and from the Rabbis. What I mean is, that we can easily be seduced by the euphoria of our independence to run away from authority altogether. We get lost without pulling ourselves back to return and become anchored in the Torah, specifically in the framework of halacha (Jewish law). No matter how evolved and ‘newagey’ we become, the words of our eternal Torah will never be absolved. This includes the requirement to listen to the Rabbis:

ספר דברים פרק יז פסוק יא

עַל פִּי הַתּוֹרָה אֲשֶׁר יוֹרוּךָ וְעַל הַמִּשְׁפָּט אֲשֶׁר יֹאמְרוּ לְךָ תַּעֲשֶׂה לֹא תָסוּר מִן הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר יַגִּידוּ לְךָ יָמִין וּשְׂמֹאל:

“You must follow the instruction that they teach you, and according to the law they say to you, you shall do; you shall not divert from the word they tell you, either right or left” (Devarim 17:11).

Moshe received the Torah from Sinai and he transmitted it to Yehoshua, and Yehoshua passed it to the elders, and the elders to the prophets, and the prophets passed it to the Men of the Great Assembly. They said three things: Be patient in judgment, raise many students and make a fence around the Torah (Pirkei Avot 1:1). Hashem has chosen the male Rabbis to transmit the law – from Moshe Rabbeinu to Rabbi Eliezer Melamed. The reason for this is not because women are inferior to men in any way. Rather, the greatness of listening and accepting is an ability no less important than teaching and deciding rabbinic rulings. Actually, the term describing the mystical, inner dimensions of the Torah – the Kabbalah literally means, ‘to receive, to accept.’ When we develop our innate ability to listen, the deepest, mystical Torah may be revealed to us!

Learning to Listen from a Place of Free Choice

Any person who does not listen to the sages’ authority transgresses a negative commandment of “Do not deviate neither right nor left from the thing that they tell you”…This responsibility applies to 1) those laws they heard from previous sages, which constitute the Oral Torah, 2) those laws they derive by using the laws of Torah exegesis and interpretation, and 3) those laws that the Rabbis institute to safeguard the Torah for whatever purpose. This includes decrees, institutions and customs. There is a positive commandment to listen to the rabbis for each category, as well as a negative commandment for disregarding any of these categories.  Therefore, the Torah writes, “You must follow the instruction that they teach you;” [ibid.] – these are the decrees, institutions, and customs that the rabbis instruct the people in order to strengthen Judaism and maintain the world... These are the laws that have been transmitted from sage to sage (Rambam, Hilchot Mamrim 1:2). As women in the Messianic Era, we walk on a tightrope between expressing our own voice creatively in Torah and submitting to the Torah authoritative halachic ruling. Thus, despite our spirit of renewal, we, women, are also called to heed the words of the Rabbis. This time, rather than being compelled by financial and spiritual dependence, we can choose to listen and accept out of free choice and this indeed is our ultimate rectification.

Why Did Hashem Ensure that Moshe was Breastfed by his Mother for 24 Months?

Parashat Shemot
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Does the Torah have Guidelines for How Long You Must Nurse Your Baby?

As a newly returnee to Judaism, I found myself in a ‘black-hatted,’ ba’al teshuva community, married with a nursing baby, during Spring 1982. Every woman in the community was pushing at least one baby in her stroller, often with another on the way. Since I was new in every way, – as a mother in the Torah world and in Israel, I received much advice from the older and more experienced Yeshiva matrons. I enjoyed nursing my baby very much, but I watched some of the women around me weaning their suckling after nursing for only three months, in order to get pregnant again quickly. They had to catch up – so they said – since being ba’alot teshuva, they’d gotten married a bit later in life. I was in no rush, being only 21, so I took my time breastfeeding my baby. At that place and time, nursing for nine full months was considered quite long, but little did I know that there are actual Torah laws about breastfeeding. Had I known what I’ve learned before weaning my second child, I would have nursed my first baby more than double as long. Fast forward almost 15 years: I’m living in the health-conscious community of Bat Ayin, nursing my second baby. By then, I’d had ample time to gain Torah learning skills and gave a weekly class about Torah & Breastfeeding to young nursing mothers like myself. The first breastfeeding baby mentioned in the Torah was Yitzchak. He was nursed for a full 24 months (Rashi, Bereishit 21:8). Likewise, Chana breastfed her son Shmuel, “until he was weaned” – until the end of 22 or 24 months- for this is the time a baby should nurse… (Rashi, I Shmuel 1:22). Also, “the time for a baby to suckle is 24 months.” (Radak ibid). These sources greatly clash with what I was taught as a newly Torah-observant nursing mother, as well as what I observed in certain Torah- observant communities. So, I decided to investigate further.

The Permitted Breastfeeding Timeline According to the Shulchan Aruch

I naturally started by opening the Shulchan Aruch – the Jewish Code of Law, authoritative for every Torah observant Jew. I found there interesting teachings pertaining to breastfeeding:

שו"ע יורה דעה - סימן פא (ז) …ותינוק יונק עד סוף ד' שנים לבריא וה' לחולה אם לא פירש אבל אם פירש שגמלוהו שלשה ימים מעת לעת אחר כ"ד חדש לא יחזירוהו והוא שפירש מתוך בוריו אבל אם לא פירש אלא מתוך חולי שאינו יכול לינק ופירש יכולים להחזירו ואם יש סכנה מחזירים אפילו אחר כמה ימים ובתוך כ"ד חדש אפי' פירש מתוך בוריו חדש או יותר מותר לחזור ולינק עד סוף כ"ד חדש…

A baby nurses until the end of four years, if he is healthy and five years if he is sickly and wasn’t separated [from nursing]. But if he was separated, by being weaned for three consecutive full days after 24 months, he should not return to nurse again, except if the nursing was interrupted because of sickness, which made him unable to nurse. If there is a danger involved, we return to nurse him even after several days. If [the baby is less than 24 months [old], even if he interrupted nursing while being healthy an entire month or more, it is permitted to go back to nursing him until the end of 24 months (Shulchan Aruch, Yore Deah 81:7).

It is clear from the Shulchan Aruch, that nursing for a full 24 months, as did Sarah and Chana and probably most of our biblical role-models, is considered vital. Even if a child is weaned for more than three days, we can go back to nursing him as long as he has not yet turned two. Yet, after this age, it is prohibited to return to nursing a child that was weaned, unless he is mortally ill. This makes sense to me, as until the age of two, even if the suckling has learned to recite a bracha before nursing, he is still a baby. After this age, he becomes a toddler and gains awareness of his mother’s body. Had he continued uninterrupted nursing until the permitted age of 4, he would not regard his mother’s breasts as anything but a source of sustenance. Yet, returning a toddler to the breast, after he has been weaned, would be awkward. At this age, after having been separated from nursing, he may look at his mother’s breasts slightly differently, with sexual undertones. 

Is it Permitted to Stop Breastfeeding Before 24 Months?

When looking at the commentaries to the Shulchan Aruch, I came across the following responsa by the Pitchei Teshuva, quoting the, Adnei Paz, written by Rabbi Daniel Azulai in 1843:

“Look at the Adnei Paz who holds that it is a mistake to say that the less a baby breastfeeds the more he will be able to learn Torah. He brings a proof from the Gemarah and concludes that it is forbidden to wean before 24 months, unless [the mother] is pregnant or otherwise unable to breastfeed” (Pitchei Teshuva, Shulchan Aruch Yore Deah 81:7). Kaf Hachaim (by Yaakov Chaim Sofer, Bagdad 1870–1939) quoted this commentary word for word. Armed with these Rabbinical responsas, I was ready to challenge those Rabbis who advocate premature weaning and defend adequate breastfeeding in order to avoid depriving babies of their birthright to the G-d-given formula designed to satisfy both their nutritional and emotion needs. When I turned to ‘Ask the Rabbi’ online, he refused to accept the Pitchei Teshuva as binding halacha. He also was unable to provide a Torah source which grants permission to stop breastfeeding before the baby turns two, as is the practiced custom in so many Torah communities. However, he did admit that there is a prohibition for a man to marry a breastfeeding woman until 24 months after birth, in order to avoid causing her milk to cease if she becomes pregnant (Shulchan Aruch, Even Haezer 13:11). Yet, the Rabbi held that this halacha no longer applies, since it was instituted to safeguard the health of babies before the invention of breastmilk substitutes. As he wrote: “Milk supplements today are quite good and special foods for babies are obtainable (i.e. Gerber).” He furthermore stated, “often mothers of today do not have enough milk, or their milk is not so nutritive, due to the mass intake of chemicals in modern-day food. Thus, it would be best for the child if she would stop breast-feeding.”

Breast is Best

Sadly, many Rabbis are uninformed about the vital benefit of breastfeeding for 24 months, even in our modern world. Many pediatricians are greatly misinformed as well, when stating that some mothers who insist on breast-feeding, end up with an undernourished baby. If it is important enough for her to breastfeed, she would be sure to ingest proper nutritious food, while avoiding chemicals as much as possible. She would also drink tea that increases mother’s milk such as lemon verbena and fennel. As the baby’s food intake increases, the mother can supplement breastfeeding with regular food which is more nutritious than Gerber! I don’t accept the argument that we have better milk substitutes today than in the past. The best substitute for mother’s milk is another mother’s milk, and there were quite a few more wet nurses back then. The next best substitute is goat’s milk, which they surely had in the old days (https://www.faithful-to-nature.co.za/blog/the-best-milk-alternatives-for-babies/).  Modern breastmilk substitutes and formulas are actually worse than what has been available since Biblical times. Many infants are allergic to various ‘proper milk substitutes,’ especially cow’s milk formulas. It is a proven fact and common knowledge among pediatricians today, that infants who do not breastfeed, are missing vital antibodies that mother’s milk provide. My husband, who works as a doctor in several health clinics, reports that not a day goes by, without numerous cases of infants suffering from various viruses and infections. Most of them have been breastfed for only three to six months at best. Breastfed babies have fewer infections and recover quicker than formula-fed babies. From birth on, levels of immunoglobulins (Ig) synthesized by lymphocytes B, is still very low. Production increases progressively, to reach a comparable rate to adults, once the child reaches the age of 4.  From age 2, there is enough to protect the child. His immune system is in place and capable of manufacturing antibodies and to identify attackers. At age 18-24 months, the child’s immune system is considered mature (Professor Henri Joyeux, French Oncology and nutrition specialist). I always find it fascinating when modern science reinforces ancient Torah teachings.

Moshe Merited Divine Nourishment from His Mother’s Heart

According to Hashem’s extraordinary supervision, Moshe Rabbeinu was breastfed for 24 months by his own mother. After the daughter of Pharaoh had found Moshe, when he was still a defenseless infant, she tried in vain to get him to nurse from various Egyptian wet-nurses. Then Miriam, his sister, offered to bring a Hebrew wet nurse:

ספר שמות פרק ב פסוק ז וַתֹּאמֶר אֲחֹתוֹ אֶל בַּת פַּרְעֹה הַאֵלֵךְ וְקָרָאתִי לָךְ אִשָּׁה מֵינֶקֶת מִן הָעִבְרִיֹּת וְתֵינִק לָךְ אֶת הַיָּלֶד: (ח) וַתֹּאמֶר לָהּ בַּת פַּרְעֹה לֵכִי וַתֵּלֶךְ הָעַלְמָה וַתִּקְרָא אֶת אֵם הַיָּלֶד:

(ט) וַתֹּאמֶר לָהּ בַּת פַּרְעֹה הֵילִיכִי אֶת הַיֶּלֶד הַזֶּה וְהֵינִקִהוּ לִי וַאֲנִי אֶתֵּן אֶת שְׂכָרֵךְ וַתִּקַּח הָאִשָּׁה הַיֶּלֶד וַתְּנִיקֵהוּ:

(י) וַיִּגְדַּל הַיֶּלֶד וַתְּבִאֵהוּ לְבַת פַּרְעֹה וַיְהִי לָהּ לְבֵן וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ משֶׁה וַתֹּאמֶר כִּי מִן הַמַּיִם מְשִׁיתִהוּ:

“His sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter, ‘Shall I go and call for you a wet nurse from the Hebrew women, so that she shall nurse the child for you?’ Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, ‘Go!’ So, the girl went and called the child’s mother. Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, ‘Take this child and nurse him for me, and I will give [you] your wages.’ So, the woman took the child and nursed him. The child grew up, and she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became like her son” (Shemot 2:7-10).

The Midrash learns from the fact that it statesוַיִּגְדַּל הַיֶּלֶד /vayigdal hayeled – ‘the child grew up,’ that Moshe was breastfed for 24 months (Midrash Shemot Rabbah 1:26). This expression is identical to where Scripture describes Yitzchak, when he was weaned at 24 months: וַיִּגְדַּל הַיֶּלֶד וַיִּגָּמַל/vayigdal hayeled vayigamal – “the child grew up and he was weaned” (Bereishit 21:8). There is a dispute whether it is prohibited to nurse from a non-Jewish wet-nurse or whether refraining from nursing from a non-Jewish woman is going beyond the letter of the law. The Rema (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 81:7) rules that a child should always avoid nursing from a non-Jewish woman, when it is possible to nurse from a Jewish woman. He quotes the Rashba’s reasoning, that the nature of a non-Jewish women will affect the child she nurses. The Rema also cites an opinion that a Jewish woman who is forced to eat non-kosher foods, should refrain from nursing (Rabbi Raphael Fuchs). According to the opinion that it is permitted to nurse from a non-Jewish woman, it was still not fitting for Moshe, whose mouth would in the future speak with the Shechina, to be contaminated with milk from an impure source (Babylonian Talmud Sota 12b). “What comes from the heart goes to the heart.” When Moshe suckled pure mother’s milk, he received not only physical sustenance but moreover nutrition for his Jewish heart and the highest level of emunah from his holy mother. May we likewise merit to nurture our babies as long as possible with the highest divine nourishment from our Jewish heart!

Is it Permitted to Raise Goats Anywhere in Israel?

Parashat Vayigash
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Finding the Proper Boundary for an Animal Friendly Environment

Where I live in rural Yishuv Bat Ayin, various animals roam freely. The other day, on our way to the weekly Meditative Movement class, at the outskirts of the Yishuv, we came across a stray horse, running around with its rope between its legs. While I was unaffected by such a trivial event and cared more about arriving at our workshop in time, my students were concerned and tried to locate the owner. When they sent a message to a local what’s app group, they got the following response: “Only in Bat Ayin!” We and many other families in Bat Ayin raise chickens. We also have a number of outdoor cats, since my husband is an avid cat lover. There are others who raise dogs, donkeys, goats and sheep. Furthermore, there are many interesting wild animals in Bat Ayin, including lovely birds of all kinds, with whom I’m happy to share my mulberries and other fruits, as their cheerful twitter and beautiful song bring me much joy. In addition, there are bats, jackals, a few foxes, wild dogs (which I would rather do without), but a cute turtle who often grazes in my strawberry patch and even once a shy porcupine who unexpectedly appeared at our doorstep. Despite the abundance of wild cats, we are still plagued by scorpions, mice and other rodents. The list goes on. Once, I found my vegetable garden askew. Plants were uprooted. Since it had just rained, there was mud all over my porch. I had no idea what was going on, until I discovered some kind of animal footprints. My friend, Elana, later identified them as donkey footprints! I would have liked to receive compensation, but I had no way of ascertaining which of the many donkey owners was the culprit. I love Bat Ayin, but it is not easy to figure out the right boundaries for living in harmony with nature. While attempting to return to a Biblical lifestyle, we are still struggling to find the right environmental balance so we can achieve the sustainable living required by the Torah.  

Why Were Our Forefathers and Foremothers Sheepherders?

Even in Biblical times, living a sustainable life meant a struggle in the face of famine, which threatened our very existence. During the great famine, the seventy members of Ya’acov’s family went down to Egypt, where Yosef, had become Pharaoh’s viceroy. In order to enable his family to preserve their Jewish identity and commitment to Hashem, Yosef settled them in the separate province of Goshen, which also had good pastureland for their flocks. The Torah testifies that the Israelites were shepherds and that Yosef instructed his brothers to tell Pharaoh about their vocation so they would be allowed to remain in Goshen:

ספר בראשית פרק מו (לב) וְהָאֲנָשִׁים רֹעֵי צֹאן כִּי אַנְשֵׁי מִקְנֶה הָיוּ וְצֹאנָם וּבְקָרָם וְכָל אֲשֶׁר לָהֶם הֵבִיאוּ:

(לג) וְהָיָה כִּי יִקְרָא לָכֶם פַּרְעֹה וְאָמַר מַה מַּעֲשֵׂיכֶם: (לד) וַאֲמַרְתֶּם אַנְשֵׁי מִקְנֶה הָיוּ עֲבָדֶיךָ מִנְּעוּרֵינוּ וְעַד עַתָּה גַּם אֲנַחְנוּ גַּם אֲבֹתֵינוּ בַּעֲבוּר תֵּשְׁבוּ בְּאֶרֶץ גּשֶׁן כִּי תוֹעֲבַת מִצְרַיִם כָּל רֹעֵה צֹאן:

“The men are shepherds, for they were [always] owners of livestock, and their flocks and their cattle and all they have they have brought. 33. And if it comes to pass that Pharaoh calls you and asks, ‘What is your occupation?’ 34. You shall say, ‘Your servants have been owners of livestock from our youth until now, both we and our ancestors,’ so that you may dwell in the land of Goshen, because all shepherds are abhorrent to the Egyptians” (Bereishit 46:32-34).

The Torah emphasizes the Israelites shepherding occupation by repeating it when recording how the brothers complied with Yosef’s instructions:

ספר בראשית פרק מז פסוק ג

וַיֹּאמֶר פַּרְעֹה אֶל אֶחָיו מַה מַּעֲשֵׂיכֶם וַיֹּאמְרוּ אֶל פַּרְעֹה רֹעֵה צֹאן עֲבָדֶיךָ גַּם אֲנַחְנוּ גַּם אֲבוֹתֵינוּ:

“Pharaoh said to his brothers, ‘What is your occupation?’ They replied, ‘Your servants are shepherds, both we and our forefathers” (Bereishit 47:3).   

Rabbi Shimson Raphael Hirsch discusses the differences between the life of the farmer and the life of the shepherd, explaining why our ancestors chose to be shepherds: “…The decree upon the human being to work the land, opened the way to humankind’s development. On the other hand, a farmer is a slave to his field, which lowers him to the level of the soil. Once he places his neck under the yoke of the pursuit of possessions, his spirit, too, becomes bowed… By contrast, there is much virtue and advantage in pastoral life. The shepherd works mainly with living creatures, and the care he extends to them fosters in him human feelings of tenderness and empathy. His property is movable. The flock needs the shepherd’s care but doesn’t owe its very existence to the human being. As a result, the shepherd is saved from the danger of attaching too much value to himself and to his property. His vocation doesn’t drain all his energy, or occupy his mind to a great extent, and he has time to elevate his spirit to Divine and humane values. Hence, our forefathers were shepherds. Conversely, consider the antipathy of the ancient Egyptians towards shepherds and pastoral peoples. All the negative outgrowths of the agricultural mentality were found in Egypt… The Egyptian was born a slave to his occupation. Faith in G-d, the freedom of the human being, and the human being’s likeness to G-d remained alive in only the hearts of one tribe of shepherds: our ancestors. The Egyptian leaders were therefore very shrewd in instilling in their people an implacable hatred for pastoral peoples. ...By and large, it may be said that the human being was destined to till the soil, rather than to shepherd sheep. This was also the destiny of Israel – according to the Torah and by virtue of the Torah… (Rabbi Hirsch, Bereishit 4:2). Yet, the main reasons why our ancestors chose to be shepherds was to experience an elevation of the soul and awe of the Creator through viewing His wondrous creations (Haketav V’Hakeballah, Bereishit 4:2). Thus, Ya’acov was the first person to build ‘sukkot’ – booths of shelter – for his flocks, as a result of his compassion for the animals. He therefore named the place ‘Sukkot’ in order to commemorate this historic innovation (Ohr HaChaim Bereishit 33:17); (The above paragraph is quoted from  Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen z”l Hazon – Our Universal Vision: www.shemayisrael.co.il/publicat/hazon/)

Halachic Limitations of Shepherding

Despite being such an important occupation for our ancestors, the Halacha greatly limits the ability of shepherding in Israel. I was surprised by these restrictions when my husband brought my attention to them:

משנה מסכת בבא קמא פרק ז

(ז) אֵין מְגַדְּלִין בְּהֵמָה דַּקָּה בְּאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל, אֲבָל מְגַדְּלִין בְּסוּרְיָא, וּבְמִדְבָּרוֹת שֶׁבְּאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל. אֵין מְגַדְּלִין תַּרְנְגוֹלִים בִּירוּשָׁלַיִם, מִפְּנֵי הַקֳּדָשִׁים, וְלֹא כֹהֲנִים בְּאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִפְּנֵי הַטַּהֲרוֹת. אֵין מְגַדְּלִין חֲזִירִים בְּכָל מָקוֹם. לֹא יְגַדֵּל אָדָם אֶת הַכֶּלֶב, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן הָיָה קָשׁוּר בְּשַׁלְשֶׁלֶת. אֵין פּוֹרְסִין נִשָּׁבִין לַיּוֹנִים. אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן הָיָה רָחוֹק מִן הַיִּשׁוּב שְׁלֹשִׁים רִיס:

It is forbidden to rear small herd animals in the Land of Israel, but it is permitted to rear them in Syria or in the wildernesses of the Land of Israel. It is forbidden to rear fowls in Jerusalem because of the “Holy Things,” nor may priests rear them [anywhere] in the Land of Israel because of [the laws concerning] clean foods. It is forbidden to rear pigs anywhere. One should not rear a dog unless it is tied with a chain. It is forbidden to set snares for pigeons unless it be thirty ris [121.6-153.6 meter] from an inhabited place (Mishna Bava Kama 7:7).

The limitations for raising goats and sheep in Israel are for the sake of maintaining sustainability. In response to the threat to crops posed by goats and sheep in the Land of Israel, the Mishna prohibited raising goats and sheep in agriculturally productive parts of Israel, because they would deplete the seeds of the crops (Rambam; Rabbi Ovadia Bartenura ibid.). Yet forests and desert areas were exempt from this decree (Rambam Hilchot Nizkei Mammon 5:2). Goats and sheep are voracious herbivores, and the rabbis in the times of the Mishna and Talmud witnessed the impact these animals had in devouring field crops. For example, the Talmud records an incident in Babylonia of goats eating a farmer’s crops: “Some goats (went into a field) in Nehardea (and) ate some peeled barley (which they found there). The owner of the barley went and seized them and made a heavy claim on the owner of the goats” (BT, Bava Batra 36b). Rashi comments on this passage that goats have an exceptional appetite https://aytzim.org/resources/articles/241.

Tiferet Yisrael adds that it is even prohibited to raise goats in one’s home, as perhaps the goat(s) will get loose and eat other people’s fields. The reason they didn’t decree against large farm animals [cows] is that they don’t increase as much as goats and sheep, and it is therefore possible to watch over them [so they won’t damage the property of others]. However, during times when the Land of Israel is not in our hands, it is permitted [to raise small herd animals] in every place (Tiferet Yisrael, Mishna Bava Kama 7:7). Thus, it became established in the halacha: “It is forbidden to rear small herd animals [in the inhabited parts of] the Land of Israel, because it is their way to graze in other people’s field and they often cause damage, but in Syria [conquered by King David] and in the deserts of the land of Israel it is permitted. During the times when it is not the norm to have fields in the land of Israel, it appears to be permitted” (Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 409:1).

Granted Greatness from Keeping “Small Matters”

Perhaps people in Bat Ayin who raise goats, rely on the leniency that there aren’t many surrounding fields nowadays, although, in fact, there are some fields, vineyards and private vegetable gardens in our neighborhood. I’m not sure that all the small herd farmers in the land of Israel are aware of the abovementioned halachic restrictions and the importance to take responsibility for their animals, in order to prevent damage and theft to their neighbors. The following Midrash testifies to how vital it is to be careful when raising small herd animals and how great these “small matters” are in Hashem’s eyes:

The Holy One doesn’t grant greatness to a person until He tests him in a small matter. Then, He raises him to greatness. Thus, there are two spiritual giants of the world that Hashem tested in a small matter, and they were found faithful. Therefore, He raised them to greatness. He tested David with small herd animals, and he did not herd them except in the desert, in order to distance them from theft. [We learn this from Eliav’s words to David], “Why have you come down? With whom have you left those few sheep in the desert?” (I Shemuel 17:28). This teaches us that David would fulfill the laws of the Mishna, “It is forbidden to rear small herd animals in the Land of Israel…” The holy one said to him, “You are found faithful with the flock. Come and shepherd my flock.” Likewise, regarding Moshe, it states, “He led the flocks after the free pastureland” (Shemot 3:1), and Hashem took him to shepherd Israel as it states,  “You led Your people like sheep by the hand of Moshe and Aharon (Tehillim 77:21); (Midrash Shemot Rabbah 2:3).

Is it Permitted for Women to Derive Pleasure from Gazing at Handsome Men?

Parashat Vayechi
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Just as Men May Look at Women, Sometimes Women Stare at Handsome Men

As a teenager in the 70ties, I was a vehement Beatles’ fan. It’s hard to believe, but I had posters of the Beatles all over the walls and ceiling of my teenage den, in the basement of our villa, in the Danish suburb where I grew up. I never attended an actual Beatles concert, having been born too far north and just a few years too late, as the last Beatles’ live concert took place in San Francisco, California in 1966, when I was just six years old. Yet, I’d listened to almost every single CD and LP and knew most Beatles’ songs by heart. I also knew which tunes were included in each album in the right order! I favored John Lennon for his raw vitality and courageous, original spirit. I was also enchanted by the depths and truth-searching spirit of George Harrison, and loved the song ‘Blackbird’ by Paul McCartney, while being less attracted to the coarse Ringo Starr. I wasn’t yet aware of the term, ‘Beatlemania,’ which describes the intense fan frenzy surrounding the English pop group – the Beatles in the 1960s. Throughout 1963, there had been reports of teenage girls screaming, crying, fainting and chasing the band down the street. Police escorts were required. The whole hall went into some kind of state, almost like collective hypnotism. A reporter of Radio Scotland gaspingly asked, “What's happening?” Thinking on his feet, the promoter replied, “Don’t worry, it’s only… Beatlemania.” Although the Beatles did arouse an incredible stir, especially among teenage girls, at the pivotal time at the onset of the sixties’ hippy, freedom revolution, women star-struck by male celebrities was far from being a new phenomenon. While it is much more common for men to regard women as sex objects, at times women too revel in the sex-appeal of handsome men. This phenomenon has been reported as far back as biblical times.  

Egyptian Women staring at Yosef in Starstruck Awe

Yosef, son of Rachel is known to be one of the most handsome men in the world:

מדרש רבה בראשית פרשה פו פסקה

ויהי יוסף יפה תואר ויפה מראה …לפי שכתוב (בראשית כט) ורחל היתה יפת תואר וגו' לפיכך ויהי יוסף וגו':

“Yosef was beautiful of form and beautiful of appearance” (Bereishit 39:6) – this was because it is written “Rachel was beautiful of form and beautiful of appearance” (ibid. 29:17);

(Midrash Bereishit Rabbah 86:6).

At Ya’acov’s deathbed, when he blessed his sons, within his lengthy blessing of Yosef, Ya’acov mentioned his extraordinary charisma, that caused a major stir among the girls: 

ספר בראשית פרק מט פסוק כב בֵּן פֹּרָת יוֹסֵף בֵּן פֹּרָת עֲלֵי עָיִן בָּנוֹת צָעֲדָה עֲלֵי שׁוּר:

“A charming son is Yosef, a son charming to the eye; [of the] women, [each one] strode along to see him” (Bereishit 49:22).

Rashi explains that Yosef’s gracefulness and charm attracted the eye that looks at him. The women of Egypt would climb up on a wall to gaze upon his beauty. Whereas the word בָּנוֹת/banot – ‘daughters’ is plural, the word צָעֲדָה/tza’ada – ‘tread’ is singular. This indicates that many daughters climbed to any place from which they could best catch a glimpse of Yosef. I remember learning that the Egyptian maidens were so mesmerized by Yosef’s beauty, that they were unable to focus on anything else and thus instead of cutting lemons, they cut their fingers. While googling, I found no Torah source for this teaching, yet surprisingly, I found a source in the Koran, which is similar to what I recall having learned somewhere. According to the Koran, Potifar’s wife was being ridiculed by the Egyptian women for attempting to seduce her own servant. When she heard their malicious talk, she sent for the women of Egypt, prepared for them a sumptuous feast, and handed each of them a knife. She then invited Yosef: “Come out and appear before them!” When the women saw him, they were greatly amazed at his beauty, and they were so flustered that they cut their hands with their knives, exclaiming, “G-d save us! This is no mortal man! This is nothing but a noble angel!” (Surah 12:30-12:31).

Women are Prohibited to Take Pleasure from Looking at a Handsome Man

Several generations later, in the Book of Shmuel, the midrash recounts how the girls couldn’t get their eyes off Shaul, prior to his becoming the first king of Israel. The donkeys of Shaul’s father had gotten lost, and he sent Shaul to search for them. After having passed through numerous districts without finding the donkeys, Shaul’s servant suggested to ask the prophet Shemuel for help. On the way, they came across a group of young maidens coming out to draw water, so they asked them, “Is the seer here?” (I Shemuel 9:11). The maidens answered the following lengthy answer: “When you come to the city, straightway you will find him, before he ascends the high place to eat, for the people will not eat until he comes, for he will bless the sacrifice, and afterwards the invited guests will eat. Now go up, for at this time, you will find him. (I Shmuel 9:13). The Midrash asks: Why go into all that length? [why did the maidens give such a long answer to Shaul’s short question, “Is the seer here?”]  Rabbi Yehuda said, it teaches that they were looking at the beauty of Shaul and they couldn’t get enough of him. Rabbi Yossi said, if so, you make the daughters of Israel into harlots, [you attribute impure intentions to them]. However, the same way that it is prohibited for a man to take pleasure by looking at a woman who is not intended for him, likewise it is prohibited for a woman to take pleasure from looking at a man [literally feed her eyes on] that is not intended for her. According to this opinion, it is prohibited for a woman to take pleasure from looking at a handsome man. Another explanation: The long speech [of the maidens] teaches us that the right time had not yet arrived. From heaven they had delayed him, as the moment for establishing the beginning of Shaul’s kingdom had not yet arrived… (Midrash Shmuel, Parasha 13:8). Besides wanting to gaze at Shaul’s beauty, the Talmud also gives an additional answer for why the maidens spoke so lengthily, “Because women are talkative” (Babylonian Talmud, Brachot 48b).

Women’s Purity of Thought Brings Mashiach

We have long protested against men objectifying women, and the advertising industry for using photos of pretty girls, to make their various products attractive. However, in our post feministic era, there is also an increasing phenomenon of women objectifying men and taking pleasure by feeding their eyes on handsome virile men. Hashem created attraction between men and women for the sake of the holiness of marriage and raising Torah families. Misusing this powerful drive for selfish pleasure– while tempting – is diametrically opposed to the purpose of creation and precludes holiness. Not only are men prohibited from allowing themselves to become aroused by gazing at attractive women or photos of women, there is a prohibition of hirhurim (inappropriate thoughts) also for women, from the Torah verse, “Do not lust after your hearts and after your eyes” (Bamidbar 15:39). However, there are who are lenient regarding the prohibition of hirhurim for women, they are not concerned about looking as long as it is not followed by immoral behavior prohibited due to Dat Yehudit [Jewish accepted custom] (Igrot Moshe, Eben HaEzer 1:69). The difference between men and women is that hirhurim can at times cause a physical reaction in men, and that reaction is prohibited. The prohibition against hirhurim is not as clear in women, because there is no equivalent physical response. Yet it is a great virtue for women to nurture purity of mind and thoughts by avoiding books that cause erotic arousal and feeding their eyes on pornographic photos and videos. This prohibition is included in  the Torah verse: “And you shall observe My charge, not to commit any of the abominable practices that were done before you, and you shall not become defiled by them” (Vayikra 18:30). Everyone agrees that it is completely prohibited for a married woman to think of other men, as her thoughts must be devoted fully to her husband. At this time period, leading up to the coming of Mashiach and Malchut (kingdom) of Israel, we are greatly tested in the area of the preceding sefirah of Yesod (sexuality). Therefore, especially now, women can help bring the Mashiach by working on refining and purifying our thoughts to our highest ability. Let us follow Yosef’s example of tremendous self-control in the area of sexuality, now at the fall of democracy in Israel. With our purity of heart and mind we will pave the way for Mashiach!