The Blessing of Dancing Ourselves Into Our Renewed Epoch of Life

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Parashat VeZot HaBracha  

The Blessing of Dancing Ourselves Into Our Renewed Epoch of Life  

Dancing at the Celestial Wedding of Simchat Torah

I’ve been looking forward to Simchat Torah when we women in Bat Ayin swirl around in ecstatic dance while chanting songs of praise for the Torah. This year I’m also looking forward to dancing with my new daughter-in-law, who has promised to spend this pinnacle of the holiday season with us. Simchat Torah is truly a gift – a day charged with the spiritual energy of the prior holidays – Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot – when we receive the surrounding Light (Or Makif) for the entire year. This surrounding Light gives us the opportunity to reveal the Light of the year to come. Through our holy dancing, we can bring the lofty light of the preceding holidays all the way down to our feet. Rav Kook would highlight the mitzvah of dancing on Simchat Torah quoting the Netziv, Emek Devar on “You shall celebrate the Festival to Hashem, your G-d…” (Devarim 16:15). “The meaning of the word תָּחֹג /tachog – ‘celebrate’ includes happy celebration through circle dance.” Likewise, King David used the root ח-ו-ג/chet/vav/gimel as referring to dance in יָחוֹגּוּ וְיָנוּעוּ/yachogu “They shall dance and move…” (Tehillim 107:27), as Metzudat David explains, יָחוֹגּוּ/yachogu – “a matter of dancing and movement.” Both my husband and I as well as our son and his new bride wish to reexperience the exalted event of their wedding. On Simchat Torah, which is compared to a wedding, we can expand our wedding celebration. The bride is the Torah and although we elect her groom as the Chatan Torah, we all wed the Torah on that day. The upper union that takes place during Simchat Torah empowers us all to connect to the higher realms and remove chaos from our lives by singing, dancing, and being joyous. 

Letting the Torah Penetrate our Hearts and Unifying us All on Simchat Torah

On Simchat Torah we complete the cycle of the Torah reading with the weekly Torah portion of VeZot HaBracha – “And this is the Blessing…” This parasha is more than a story. As the final Torah portion, it is the manifestation of everything that came before it. We can connect to the energy of the entire Torah encapsulated within this portion. It is a coded text with specific energy and wisdom that can be personally applied to improve our lives each week. It is beautiful to see how reaching the end of the Torah scroll and the reading of VeZot HaBracha is immediately followed by the reading of the first portion, Bereishit. This conclusion and commencement of a new cycle show us the continuity in the Torah as a reflection of our lives. Whenever there is an end, there is always a new beginning. The first letter of the Torah ב/beit (from the word Bereishit) and the last letter of the Torah ל/lamed (from the word Yisrael) spell the word לֵב/lev – ‘heart.’ It is only by opening our hearts that we can connect to the Light of the Torah especially available to us during Simchat Torah. If the Torah is reduced to an intellectual exercise of the mind, without penetrating our hearts, then we have missed the point. Through opening our hearts during the circle dances of Simchat Torah we can tap into the moment of unity of all the people of Israel. Our Bat Ayin tradition that each of the different shuls visit each other and dance together on Simchat Torah highlights this unity experience. This is also reflected in Parashat VeZot HaBracha in which Moshe blesses each tribe individually but culminates in a collective blessing for the entire Israelite people. On Simchat Torah we are united, not by our level of knowledge or understanding, but rather through the joy of dancing and the equality in our connection to Torah. (Inspired by The Torah Mystic, V’Zot HaBerachah, The Final Blessing).

Uprooting Last Year’s Leftover Crop and Entering a New Life Epoch

Simchat Torah demarcates the real New Year. Although we already welcomed the New Year on Rosh Hashana, we are in kind of an incubation period until the end of Simchat Torah, after which we become reborn into the daily day cycle of life. As we complete the last day of the holiday season, we are propelled forward into our renewed epoch of life. Simchat Torah both ends and begins a new season when we begin to pray for rain. We can sense the changing seasons through the fallen leaves, the moistening dew, and the cooling wind. Following this last Tishrei holiday is the time to sow new seeds in the ground for our winter crop. I learned an interesting insight when preparing my vegetable garden for planting the winter crop. My garden patch was replete with last year’s Swiss chard and beat leaves that had seen better days. It was hard for me to uproot these greens since they were still alive, and I might have been able to make myself an occasional salad from them. I was also attached to these greens that had given me so much goodness throughout the year. As I pondered what to do, the notion that “we need to let go of the old to make room for the new” hit home in a deeper way. I needed to uproot my leftover greens barely surviving to make room for a new stronger, lusher, more abundant greener crop. My garden experience is a metaphor for life, and how difficult it is for many of us to let go of the past. People get stuck in the past because of our need for certainty. Certainty is one of the six human needs fundamental for survival. We need to feel certain that we can avoid hardships. We also like to feel certain about what’s next – and letting go of the past means stepping into the unknown. It takes courage to let go of the familiar – even if it’s negative. While masculine energy is about breaking through and letting go, feminine energy is about filling up and gathering. When there is still emotion tied to a memory, moving on from the past becomes increasingly difficult for those of us who are biologically predisposed to gather. Yet when there is a will there is a way. Identifying and acknowledging what is holding us back is the first step. Once we have identified why letting go of the past is so difficult, we can ask ourselves: “What are the reasons that you absolutely must move beyond this?” How will your life change when you learn how to let go of the past? Having a clear awareness of why we must let go will be the primus motor that will drive us to be dedicated to truly letting go of the old to make room for the new.

EmunaHealing Exercise for Letting Go of the Old to Make Room for the New

1. Settle down on your chair, cushion, or mat to give yourself a few moments to be alone with yourself tapping into the Divine spark within. This is your time for self-cultivation. Breathe slowly and mindfully, treasuring this moment with yourself and the Divine within.

2. You have come full circle. Another year has gone by, and here you are again, ready to celebrate the Torah. At this time of coming full circle, you are receiving surrounding or encircling Light (Or Makif) for the entire year. Now is the time – today and this Shabbat of Simchat Torah – to tap into the energy of this present moment.

3. “A generation comes, a generation goes, but the earth remains the same forever. All rivers run to the sea, but the sea is never full. The wise man will be forgotten along with the fool” (Kohelet 1:4-7). There is a message of deep liberation within what may seem depressing on the surface. Time passes, everything withers away, and we become one year closer to our last day: Yet, when we realize the futility of the past and future, all that remains is the present moment.

4. Breathe into this joyful, present-moment experience of the here and now. Make the present moment your moment of prayer, reflection, and emotional cleansing.

5. If a gardener wants to grow fresh tulips, she must first pull out some weeds or prune back last year’s overgrowth. If we want to grow into a fresh and new experience, we must allow something to die. We can choose to start pruning (the short way) or wait for the whole organism to wither (the long way). What are the weeds in your life? What is the overgrowth in your life that needs pruning?
6. We all carry wounds that we continually need to heal, in order to move forward. We must release the old to receive the new. Focus on this simple question: What can I let go of? Breathe into this question and repeat it to yourself as many times as you need. What can I let go of?
7. When we can truly release our past and our expectations and demands of the future, we can be reborn in the present. The last Portion of our yearly Torah cycle opens with, Ve’zot HaBracha – “This is the Blessing!” (Devarim 33:1). Right now, this moment is a moment of blessing. Breathe into the blessings of your life, and tune into these blessings you enjoy at the present moment to treasure them even more!
8. “It’s never too late to be what you might have been (George Eliot, 1871). Imagine yourself as the person you could have been. Can you visualize your full potential self? Perhaps you visualize the gentle soothing tone with which you speak, the warm smile you give to everyone you meet, the delicate touch with which you caress the world. Now is the moment to meditate on who you really want to be!

Sarah’s Role in the Akeida and in the Shofar of Rosh Hashana

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A Torah message from Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum, Rosh Hashana 5768

Sarah’s Role in the Akeida and in the Shofar of Rosh Hashana

We blow the shofar (Ram’s horn) on Rosh Hashana to remember Avraham’s near sacrifice of his favorite son Yitzchak. We hear a lot about Avraham’s greatness concerning the Akeida (binding of Yitzchak), but what about Sarah? What was her involvement in the Akeida? Did she know about it beforehand, or did Avraham keep it hidden from her? Did she play any part whatsoever in this self-sacrificing act? The commentaries are surprisingly silent regarding this matter.

Sarah is known to be Avraham’s devoted wife. She worked in a team with Avraham in all his great accomplishments, yet we never hear anything about Sarah’s merit regarding the Akeida, could it be possible that she had no part in his greatest most exemplary deed?

Midrash Tanchuma interprets the entire Eishet Chail verse by verse as the eulogy Avraham lamented for Sarah after her demise. When it states: “She rose while it was still night,” the midrash explains that this refers to the time when “Avraham rose early”. There are two instances when the Torah describes Avraham rising early: at the sending away of Yishmael with Hagar and at the Akeida. Etz Yosef comments: When “Avraham rose early” Sarah too rose early and went on the way with them to escort them. Perhaps this implies that Sarah indeed did have a role not only in expelling Yismael but also in the near sacrifice of Yitzchak.

Several Midrashic sources and Rashi link the Akeida with Sarah’s death. He explains that when Sarah heard that Yitzchak was almost sacrificed her soul flew out of her body and she died. The midrash offers more details. …Satan went to Sarah and asked: “Did you hear what happened in the world?” She answered, “No.” He said, “Avraham took Yitzchak his son, and slaughtered him, offering him up on the altar as a sacrifice.” Sarah began to cry and moan the sound of three wails, which corresponded to the three blasts of the shofar, and then her soul burst forth from her, and she died.

There are several different interpretations of how the broken, crying sounds of the shofar are linked to Sarah’s cries when she hears about the near sacrifice of Yitzchak. According to another midrash we are commanded to blow six tekiyot – uninterrupted shofar sounds – on Rosh Hashana corresponding to Sara's six cries. It is interesting to note that the name Sarah comprises the initials of Shofar Rosh Hashana, indicating an intrinsic connection between Sarah and the significance of the Shofar.

According to Aviva Zornberg, the shofar on Rosh Hashana is supposed to help us re-enter the state of Sarah’s pain. She dies in a haunted cry of ecstasy beyond civilization. It is the sound that bridges the ecstasy experienced at a wedding with the ecstasy of grief. There is no criticism of the way Sarah cried when she was dying. On the contrary, we are asked to enter into her state of mind. Sarah dies in the middle of the six cries. If she had managed to complete her cries she would perhaps have gone to a different level. On Rosh Hashana, we complete Sarah’s cries.

If Sarah already intuitively sensed the Akeida when she rose in the middle of the night to prepare the provisions she sent with Avraham and Yitzchak, why would she die from shock when she heard about it? How is it possible that this righteous woman to whom Avraham is inferior in respect of prophecy could so easily fall prey to the tricks of the Satan?

Sefer Avodat Hashem on Parashat Chayei Sarah explains that Sarah’s death was not the result of shock, but rather she deliberately handed over her soul at the very climax of the Akeida. Sarah perceived the holiness that was engendered by means of the great holy unification. Since the place of the Akeida was far from her to walk, to participate in it; she decided to unify with the act from afar by giving over her soul in love and purity at the moment of this great holiness.

The Zohar explains that Yitzchak was born with a feminine soul and an essential attachment to his mother Sarah. At the Akeida Yitzchak had a near-death experience, the feminine aspect of his soul departed and he received his masculine soul which enabled him to detach from his mother and afterward cleave to his wife. This is why the description of the birth of Rivkah is juxtaposed to the Akeida, Prior to the Akeida, without his masculine soul, Yitzchak would have been unable to bear progeny. Since Yitzchak’s feminine soul was intrinsically attached to the soul of his mother Sarah, at the moment when his feminine soul left him, Sarah’s soul also had to depart from this world. This explains why Sarah was bound to pass on during the split second of the binding of Yitzchak, the exact moment before Avraham was told to put down his knife.

Perhaps we may venture to say that in this way Sarah’s role in the Akeida had an aspect that was even greater than Avraham’s, while Avraham got up early in the morning, Sarah rose even beforehand while it was still night. In a super-conscious way Sarah “knew” even before Avraham, and while Avraham was willing to sacrifice his favorite son, she was willing to sacrifice her own soul for the sake of her only son Yitzchak. Through her death she enabled the birth of his masculine soul, giving over her life for the sake of allowing Yitzchak to beget life and become his independent ultimate self, get married, and raise his own family. In this way, Sarah’s cries from which we model the sounds of the shofar are both the wails of mourning for death and ecstasy of birth. They emanate from the very deepest place where death and life are one.

You have the ability to continue Sarah’s self-sacrifice for the sake of building families in the Land of Israel, and you can make a great difference without having to give over your own life. You can ensure life both in This World and the Next through your generous donation to support Women’s Torah learning in the Land of Israel. By donating to Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin you are supporting the Jewish families of tomorrow. It is almost Rosh Hashana, please increase your merits by donating to Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin.

Shana Tova, Tikateivu V’Tichateimu l’Alter Chayim Tovim!!!!
May you be inscribed in the Book of Life!
With Blessings of the Torah & the Land, Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

What is the Connection Between Placing a Rail on Our Roof and Rebuilding Ourselves?

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Parashat Ki Tetze

What is the Connection Between Placing a Rail on Our Roof and Rebuilding Ourselves?

Yearning for the Transformative Renewal of Youth

Mazal tov! Parashat Ki Tetze is here, indicating that I’ve gone through twelve new moon circles and journeyed another 365 days around the sun. A birthday is like a rebirth. It is a time for renewal on all levels, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I’m so happy that my birthday – during the month of Elul – coincides with the period that we prepare ourselves for the universal birthday of humanity on Rosh Hashana. The sound of the Shofar, which we hear daily during this month, calls us to teshuva – return – and to rebuild ourselves. At this time, we are working on becoming all we can be and striving to rise to our higher selves. Rosh Hashana means Head of the Year. We must begin the process of our renewal by changing our mindset – our thoughts, our awareness, our worldview, and the way we perceive Hashem, others, and ourselves. Yet the longer we have journeyed around the sun the more set in our ways we become. I recently gave a lift to a young woman and asked her if she lived in Bat Ayin. She was surprised that I didn’t recognize her as the daughter of one of my best friends, here in Bat Ayin. She not only dressed differently but her facial expressions too had changed significantly. I explained that she looked so different from when I remember her as a teenager. “But that was so long ago, she replied,” although it was perhaps only about four years ago. This experience made me think of the difference between younger and older people when it comes to change and self-renewal. Besides more wrinkles showing on my face, how much have I changed during the last five years? Being faced with a person who clearly went through such major transformations, made me yearn to continue to make drastic changes for the better every day and year of my life. Yet, we cannot do anything without Hashem’s help, even to transform ourselves we need His continued Divine assistance. I pray for Hashem’s guidance to leave the humdrum of my habitual routine so I will too be able to “Sing to Him a new song; play well with joyful shouting” (Tehillim 33:3).

Why is the Mitzvah of Making a Rail Linked Specifically with a Roof of a New House?
One of the many mitzvot in Parashat Ki Tetze, my ‘Bat Mitzvah Parasha,’ (I never had one), is the mitzvah to make a rail on our roof. I always favored this mitzvah according to its simple understanding without being aware of exactly why. When we moved into our current home in Bat Ayin, my husband let me hammer in the last nail on the fence of our balcony, offering me the merit of reciting the preceding blessing: “Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Ha’olam Asher Kidishanu Bemitzvotav Vetzivanu La’asot Ma’akeh.” This blessing is only to be recited if the roof is truly obligated in a fence, it must be commonly used and have more space than 192 x192 centimeters (75.59 inches) and be eighty centimeters, or 32 inches high (like the requirement of a Sukkah). When I recently read Netivot Shalom’s explanation of the mitzvah of placing a rail on the roof, I understood better why this mitzvah is so dear to me.

ספר דברים פרק כב פסוק ח
כִּי תִבְנֶה בַּיִת חָדָשׁ וְעָשִׂיתָ מַעֲקֶה לְגַגֶּךָ וְלֹא תָשִׂים דָּמִים בְּבֵיתֶךָ כִּי יִפֹּל הַנֹּפֵל מִמֶּנּוּ:

“When you build a new house, you shall make a guard rail for your roof, so that you shall not cause blood [to be spilled] in your house, that the one who falls should fall from it [the roof]” (Devarim 22:8).

Netivot Shalom asks why the mitzvah of placing a rail is associated with building a new house, and why it explicitly states “on your roof” as any place that constitutes danger such as a balcony, a pit, and a high place that qualifies for the mitzvah of placing a rail aren’t necessarily a roof. For example, the boundary of the Solomon Garden at B’erot is on a high mountain slope, posing a danger of falling down several meters, without a rail, which was installed when we expanded this garden almost six years ago.

Completely Changing Direction to Embark on a New Path

When doing teshuva, it is not sufficient to repent for any specific detail, rather we must completely abandon the path that brought us to commit whatever offenses and totally change direction to embark on a new path. This is the meaning of “When you build a new house.” When we recognize that our entire core is unfounded, what would it help to repent from any individual wrongdoing? We must desire to build a completely new house – that is – to rebuild the entire essence of our existence. When the Torah instructs us to make a rail on our roof, it alludes to the character trait of יִרְאָה/yirah – ‘awe’, as the numerical value of the word מַעֲקֶה/ma’akeh – ‘rail’ with the kollel (when counting one for the word itself) is the same as the numerical value of יִרְאָה/yirah – ‘awe’ (216). Likewise, a fence is associated with fear of G-d through its protective boundaries and rabbinical fences to prevent transgression of Torah prohibitions. The main protection to control our cravings from overstepping the proper boundaries is through the character trait of awe.

The Beginning of Rebuilding Ourselves is Through Rectifying Our Head

The roof alludes to a person’s head, just as the beginning of rebuilding ourselves starts with awe of G-d, which is compared to the rail, so must our renewal start with rectifying the head, with its seven apertures or gates: two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, and the mouth. Before these gates, we must place fences and boundaries through the character trait of awe. This is because all a person’s thoughts, speech, and actions are dependent on these apertures of the head, as our sages say, “The eye sees, the heart desires, and the body performs the transgressions” (Rashi, Shemot 15:39). The eyes, connected to the brain, begin everything. Therefore, we must begin by rectifying them, and then proceed to the rest of the openings of the head. This is the foundation of teshuva. “When you build a new house” – when you rebuild yourself anew, the first thing is to make a fence on your roof – through the character trait of yirah – awe. This is like receiving the Torah which also began with the character trait of awe as it states, “The entire nation that was in the camp trembled” (Shemot 19:16). Our Sages say that the Torah was given with dread, with awe, and with trembling.

Rebuilding Ourselves on Rosh Hashana Through Fear of G-d

Just as a person has a head, so does the calendar have a head which is the beginning of the entire year. This is all alluded to in “when you build a new house” – when a Jew wants to rebuild himself on Rosh Hashana, the way is to make a rail on the roof – to grab hold of the character trait of awe, just as we do during the service of the Days of Awe. Since these days are days of judgment in the upper realm, also below in this world, the corresponding service must be through awe. Simply speaking, this is because only through awe can repentance be established, as the foundation of teshuva is through awe. The time for all matters of teshuva and rectifications is during the month of Elul, whereas on Rosh Hashana the way to serve Hashem is by crowning Him King over every limb of our body. Elul is the time to prepare for building the new house and to awaken fear of heaven in all matters. For this reason, we blow the Shofar during the month of Elul, for the Shofar awakens awe, as it states, “Will a shofar be sounded in the city and the people not tremble?” (Amos 3:6). “Trembling removes the blood” (Babylonian Talmud Niddah 9a). This means that awe removes the impure blood of humanity. This is the first rectification of “When you build a new house,” as stated in the Zohar, the first mitzvah is to fear G-d, “The beginning of wisdom is the fear of Hashem” (Mishlei 9:10).

EmunaHealing Exercise for Self-Renewal Through the Metaphor of Building a New House

1. Sit down on a chair or on the ground and allow yourself to relax and feel at ease. If it feels right, close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and feel your heart rate slowing down. Envision descending a stairway. Count down from ten with each downward step you take. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, and one. You have reached the bottom of the stairs. You are in a vast open space of emptiness.

2. All your old ways have become erased. As you keep searching for yourself you realize that you cannot find yourself for you have disintegrated into nothingness. Allow yourself to accept the feeling of nonexistence. It can be a scary feeling not knowing where you are and who you are. But within this uncertainty lies the hope of a new and better beginning. Are you ready to rebuild yourself and your life?

3. Let your mind ponder how you would start your entire life over. What would be your new foundation? From what kind of character traits would your new foundation be built? How will this new foundation be expressed in your thoughts, feelings, and actions?

4. Visualize building the foundation of a new home. Envision yourself pouring the concrete consisting of your new self-image. Imagine how the new home you are about to build is the embodiment of rebuilding your new self.

5. You are standing facing the awesome Creator of the universe. Allow yourself to be filled with awe, and dread of His greatness, as you start to tremble. Breathe slowly as you keep trembling in awe of G-d. Now imagine the outline of your new house, which is the embodiment of your renewed self. Envision the roof of your house as standing on sturdy pillars.

6. Tune into the roof which represents the most important part of yourself – your head. Which kind of windows does the roof have? Imagine how each of the windows corresponds to one of the openings of your head, the eyes, ears, nostrils, and mouth. What characterizes the windows of your home, and how does each of them correspond to the apertures of your head? Breathe into each of the windows of your house and their correspondent opening in your face.

7. Imagine the window rails corresponding to the fences and boundaries you need to place on your eyes, ears, nostrils, and mouth. Breathe awe of G-d into each of the apertures of your face.

8. Now envision the general rail on the entire roof of your house. How does it look, and feel? Is it made of concrete, wood, or metal? Is it made of latticework or of logs attached to one another? How big is the space between each log or the pattern in the latticework?

9. Imagine how each of the features of the rail on your roof corresponds to an aspect of your character. This visualization may not be so easy as it requires a lot of imagination. Do the best you can to tune into the sturdiness of your rail corresponding to the character traits that you have deeply integrated into your psyche. Look for any weakness in the rail and imagine rectifying its corresponding character trait.

10. Now, imagine your beautiful new home all complete, with a dining room, kitchen, living room, and bedrooms, with painted walls, curtains, and furniture. Can you feel happy and proud of your home? Scan everything in your mind’s eye and superimpose it on the rebuilding of your new self. Mazal tov! You Are embarking on a New Path of completely rebuilding yourself!