Parashat Nitzavim-Vayelech: How Do We Reveal Hashem’s Presence Within the Darkest Darkness?

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Parashat Nitzavim-Vayelech
How Do We Reveal Hashem’s Presence Within the Darkest Darkness? 

What blocks the Divine Light from illuminating my Life and making it fruitful?
This morning, as I examined my vegetable patch in my back garden, I noticed that the pepper plants I had planted a while back were all alive and growing, but none sprouted a single pepper fruit. In the past, I was able to grow an abundance of cherry tomatoes and pepper fruits in that same spot. What had changed? I lifted my face upward and noticed how both the mulberry and the pecan trees had grown to become humongous, overhanging and shading my little vegetable patch. These trees were hiding all the light from my poor vegetables, preventing them from truly flourishing. At times we can all identify with my unproductive pepper plants. We may be working hard to grow and let grow, trying many different avenues, but something is blocked. We may bump into one iron barricade after the other, each one seemingly more impenetrable. “Why? Why is this happening to me?” We ask ourselves. “What does Hashem want from me?” It all comes down to bringing more light into our lives. Light is the most essential element for all growth. Just as my pepper plants need light to produce fruits, we also need to unblock all the iron barricades that block the light from shining through. “Yes,” I’m thinking to myself, “I will need to have the trees pruned to let in the light.” But what are ‘the trees’ in my life that block the light from entering my personal path? Now before Rosh Hashana is the time to reflect on our lives and return to Hashem, to allow His Divine Light to penetrate our mind, body, and soul. Especially at this time, we all need to ask ourselves, How can I open the physical, emotional, and spiritual blocks that prevent me from letting Hashem’s light enter? Which thoughts, speech, or actions block the Divine Light from illuminating my life and making it fruitful?

Can We Temper Our Desire for the Revelation of the Final Redemption?
With the war in Israel lingering on, it is easy to lose hope. Never in the history of the State of Israel have we undergone such an extended war. Although we experience glimpses of Hashem’s light shining through the miracles He performs and the victories He generates for us, it is still hard to stay connected to the Light of Hashem through all the pain of accumulated burials of young life before yielding fruit. How can we bear the increasing number of widows, orphans, and soldiers wounded for life? It is like the pressure is building up, and we are almost exploding in our yearning for Hashem to reveal ALL His light and bring us Geulah (the final redemption) already. Little glimpses of light are not enough. “We want Mashiach now, we don’t want to wait!” In the past, I didn’t connect to this song, as Rambam clearly states that we patiently must await the Mashiach, so how could we demand him to come now?  

“Anyone who does not believe in him, or does not await his coming, denies not only the statements of the other prophets but those of the Torah and Moshe, our teacher. The Torah testified to his coming, as it states:

“G-d will bring back your captivity and have mercy upon you. He will again gather you from among the nations... Even if your Diaspora is at the ends of the heavens, G-d will gather you up from there... and bring you to the land...” (Devarim 30-3-5). These explicit words of the Torah include all the statements made by all the prophets Rambam, Mishnah Torah, Hilchot Melachim 11:1).

I understood these laws of the Rambam to refer to the  B’nei Efraim who met their early death because they left Egypt before its time, as Rashi explains based on the Mechilta: “…They slew the children of Efraim, who hastened the end and went out [of Egypt] forcibly, as delineated in (I Divrei Hayamim 7:21-22); (Rashi, Shemot 15:14). Based on the Rambam and the story of the B’nei Efraim, I believe that we must be patient and not push for Mashiach before it’s time, just like we cannot push out the baby before the womb is sufficiently dilated. Yet, on the other hand, something is happening in Israel that is beyond the rational. The tension is building up so strongly that it’s impossible to be patient, for we cannot temper our desire to finally release this built-up tension through the revelation of the final redemption.

Overcoming the Tendency to Believe That G-D is no Longer in Our Midst
How will we reveal Hashem’s light to dwell among us? To answer this question, we must ask ourselves, “What caused the darkness in the first place?” Parashat Vayelech gives us a clue:

ספר דברים פרק לא  פסוק יז וְחָרָה אַפִּי בוֹ בַיּוֹם הַהוּא וַעֲזַבְתִּים וְהִסְתַּרְתִּי פָנַי מֵהֶם וְהָיָה לֶאֱכֹל וּמְצָאֻהוּ רָעוֹת רַבּוֹת וְצָרוֹת וְאָמַר בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא הֲלֹא עַל כִּי אֵין אֱלֹהַי בְּקִרְבִּי מְצָאוּנִי הָרָעוֹת הָאֵלֶּה: (יח) וְאָנֹכִי הַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר פָּנַי בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא עַל כָּל הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה כִּי פָנָה אֶל אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים:

“Then My fury will rage against them on that day, and I will abandon them and hide My face from them, and they will be consumed, and many evils and troubles will befall them, and they will say on that day, ‘Is it not because our G-d is no longer in my midst, that these evils have befallen me?’ I will hide My face on that day, because of all the evil they have committed, when they turned to other deities” (Devarim 31:17-18).

According to Netivot Shalom, when the Jewish people experienced trouble, they complained that the source of their troubles was that G-d no longer was in their midst. Rather than feeling pain for their essential separation from G-d, their pain was due to the troubles they experienced. They were focusing on the pain of their troubles and blaming them on G-d’s withdrawing His Presence, rather than focusing on the pain of losing their closeness to G-d. By accepting that G-d was no longer in their midst as an unchangeable fact, they showed a lack of emunah that Hashem always dwells among us even within our impurity (Vayikra 16:17). Since every Jew is a part of the Divine, no power can disconnect us from our Heavenly Father, unless we want to disconnect, G-d forbid. Hashem’s hiding His face is like a father who sometimes hides himself from his son, without abandoning him even for a moment. He just wants to test His son, for the wise son knows that it can’t be that his Father would forsake him. Rather he believes that Hashem always watches over him with Divine supervision. Even if he, (G-d forbid) committed the worst kind of sin, he must believe that Hashem always accepts his heartfelt penitent prayer. The main goal of the yetzer hara (negative impulse) is not to make someone sin, rather it is to cause a feeling of despair following the sin, to make him feel that G-d has completely forsaken him due to his depravity. We must be strong against this temptation of despair and believe that Hashem never forsakes us. He only hides His face from us. Therefore, the biggest flaw is not the sin in itself – however severe – but the faulty belief that “G-d is no longer in my midst” which brings about the ripple effect that “G-d will hide His face on that day…” The double languageהַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר /haster astir – “hide, I will hide” corresponds to the double hiding, due to the sin itself, but even more so due to the sin of falling into despair.

The Shechinah Resides Within the Darkest Partitions
The dividing walls we experience between us and Hashem are caused by lust, bad character traits, annoyances due to worldly matters, and grief caused by painful experiences. Each of these comprises a dividing wall blocking us from reaching our Blessed Creator. Yet, none of these dividing partitions are as troublesome as the partition implanted in a Jew’s heart making him believe he is far from Hashem. Falling prey to despair that there is no healing for feeling separated from Hashem, G-d forbid, results in truly moving away and disconnecting from Hashem’s presence. This faulty belief is the hardest dividing wall, worse than the separations caused by lust or confusion. We must strengthen our belief that all the dividing walls are only illusions. We do have the ability to skip over them all and reveal the King. “From the depths of the husks we can call out to Hashem, as it states, “From the depths I have called You, O Hashem.” (Tehillim 130:1). Even an iron barricade cannot separate between Israel and our Heavenly Father. “But Hashem took you and brought you out of the iron pot, out of Egypt, to be His people” (Devarim 4:20). Even if a Jew sins, he always remains a Jew (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 44a).  During the revelation at Sinai, there were three partitions of darkness hiding Hashem: חֹשֶׁךְ/Chosheh – “darkness,” עָנָן/anan – “cloud,” and עֲרָפֶל/arafel – “thick fog” or “thick darkness” (Devarim 4:11). The latter was the densest of all the separations. Nevertheless, “Moshe drew near to the thick darkness where G-d was” (Shemot 20:18). In order to come close to Hashem we need to go through each of the three dark partitions while believing with steadfast emunah that it is precisely within the darkest darkness that we can find Hashem. The numerical value of the Hebrew word הָעֲרָפֶל/ha’arafel – ‘thick fog’ equals הַשְּׁכִינָה/HaShechinah – ‘the Shechinah.’ As King Shlomo proclaimed, “Hashem said that He would dwell in the עֲרָפֶל/arafel – ‘thick darkness” (I Melachim 8:12). Likewise, Moshe revealed that it is specifically within the very darkest darkness that G-d resides! So instead of moaning over feeling separated from Hashem through iron barricades, we can be grateful for the dividing walls which can serve as portals to get even closer to the light of the Divine indwelling Presence hiding precisely within the darkest dividing wall. The more we strengthen our emunah that the Divine light is found within our darkness, the more we will be able to reveal the light!

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Vayelech –
Tips on Unblocking the Dark Dividing Walls that Separate Between Us and G-d

Hashem incorporated in creation, day and night – light and darkness. It is natural to experience ups and downs – ebbs and flows of closeness and separation from Hashem. The lows help us appreciate the highs so much more. While it is challenging to experience the hiding of Hashem’s Face in our lives, it helps when we remember that this spiritual darkness is part of a movement toward the light, without night we wouldn’t even notice the break of day. Like the waves in the ocean, at times we rise to our peak, and at other times we fall down in a thunderous crash. Life is about riding the waves, not allowing ourselves to go under – by being swallowed by the darkest sea-bed in a bone-breaking crash. Rather we must keep riding the waves as the cycle continues until the tide changes in gloaming light. Below are some practical tips for riding the waves, to reveal His light even within the darkest dark.

·       When You Open Your Eyes in the Morning, Recite Modeh Ani With Thankful Intentions – that Hashem woke you up from the darkness of night, to offer you a new delightful day. Awake with belief in G-d, for He believes in you and grants you another day to search for and discover His light. Hashem is playing the hide-and-seek game we used to play as kids. Let’s tackle the challenge with childish playfulness and gratitude.

·       Amplify and Spread Hashem’s Light by Reaching out to Others – There is no sweeter medicine for a bitter soul than to do a mitzvah and kindness for others. Visiting a sick person, helping take care of her needs, welcoming a new neighbor with a fruit basket, baking a cake for a simcha (happy occasion), and supporting a needy person. These are just a few examples of how you can elevate yourself through raising others.

·       Count Your Blessings and be Thankful for Being in a Better Place – Recalling even the little drops of goodness in your life will help you feel closer to Hashem, the Source of your blessings. I love this story of Rachel and Rabbi Akiva: When the daughter of Kalba Shavu’a betrothed herself to Rabbi Akiva, her father vowed to dispossess her. The young couple were so poor they had to sleep on straw, and Rabbi Akiva had to pick out the straw from his hair… Later Eliyahu came to them in the guise of a beggar who cried out at the door: “Give me some straw, for my wife in her confinement. I have nothing for her to lie on.” “See!” Rabbi Akiva observed to his wife, “There is even someone poorer than us, this man who lacks even straw” (Babylonian Talmud, Nedarim 50a).

·       Speak to Hashem and Call Him to Come out of His Hiding – If you feel far from Hashem, and are stumbling over walls of division, cry out from the depth of your desperation. Your yearning for Divine revelation will draw the Divine presence to you and uncover His hiding. Use your darkest moments as a springboard to bring about the greatest revelations in your life!

Do We Need to Fear that Hashem will Forsake Us?

Parashat Vayelech 

Why Give Up in the Face of Fear?
I’m a warrior and a survivor! That’s the title Facebook Nametests

gave me. Seems pretty suitable. I’ve survived a lot of battles and come out the stronger. One battle, I still haven’t won, is the battle against my inner fears and worries. In this pandemic period, where we are all stressed out, exhausted, and overwhelmed, worrying about anything beyond the basics of life is enough to tip anyone over the edge. Fear is an emotion that is triggered by a perceived threat. It is essential for keeping us safe and signals our bodies to respond to danger with a fight or flight response. However, often our fears go overboard. There is no point in fearing something that we have no power to change. Yet, fear is not a rational emotion. Fear is the main emotional block that prevents us from allowing Hashem’s light to dwell within us. Too much fear indicates that something is unbalanced in our lives. When we are out of balance, everything comes with fear and tension. We all have thousands of fears, especially at this time, when the covid virus has claimed thousands of lives in Israel alone. Rabbi Frand explains that there is a vast difference between healthy fear and hopelessness. One empowers and safeguards, while the other paralyzes. We must never give up in the face of fear. This is the essence of who we are as a people. We are named Jews after Yehuda, who stood up to the viceroy of Egypt in defense of his brother. He didn’t give up because he trusted that Hashem would never abandon him (Izhbitzer Rebbe). In Parashat Vayelech, Moshe encourages the Israelites, convincing them not to be afraid. Even after the 98 curses in Parashat Ki Tavo, “You are all still standing here today!” (Devarim 29:9) – i.e., you were able to withstand them. Despite all the warnings and the years of wandering in the desert, the holocaust, and all we have been through, we are still “here,” steadfastly “standing.” We are strong. We have what it takes to keep going without giving up. We have been through scores of challenges, which only made us stronger. The name Israel means “you have struggled with people and with G-d and you have prevailed” (Bereishit 32:29).
 
Negative Impact of Fear on Human Health
Fear can be a seriously unhealthy emotion. One of my emunahealing clients was obsessive in her fear about her daughter’s mental health, worrying about how her adult daughter wasn’t taking care of herself. Although it is natural for parents (especially mothers) to worry about their children, I explained to my client, that by being overly worried, she, too, was not taking care of herself. The problem with excessive fear is that it causes the release of hormones that slow or shut down functions not needed for survival (such as our digestive system). Fear increases the flow of hormones to the amygdala, which triggers the brain to perceive neutral events as negative and stores these perceptions in our memory. This causes the brain to short-circuit more rational processing paths. When people live in constant fear, they experience negative impacts in all areas of their lives and even become incapacitated. Fear weakens our immune system and can cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, and decreased fertility. It can lead to accelerated aging and even premature death. Fear can impair the formation of long-term memories and cause damage to certain parts of the brain, such as the hippocampus. This can make it even more difficult to regulate fear and can leave a person anxious most of the time. To someone in chronic fear, the world looks scary, and their memories confirm that. Fear elicits intense emotions and impulsive reactions, which may leave us unable to act appropriately. Other consequences of long-term fear include fatigue and clinical depression. I have personally experienced how fear, worry and anxiety disturb peaceful sleep.
 
Elevating the Fallen Fears (יַרְאֶה נְפוּלָה/Yirah Nefulah)
Fear is a fallen יִרְאַת ה'/yirat Hashem – ‘awe of Hashem.’ When our fear of G-d is not perfect, it allows us to have all these other fears and worries. The Hebrew word for fear היִרְאַ/yirah is related to the word רְאִיָה/reiyah – ‘seeing.’ Fear derives from not seeing Hashem in all our realities. The highest kind of היִרְאַ/yirah is to clearly, perpetually visualize the King before us. Making Hashem the King over every part of ourselves will melt away our fears. Sometimes, when we are not on the high spiritual level that Hashem wants us to be, Hashem makes us fall to an even lower place, in order to help us become aware, that we need to raise ourselves up. From this lowest point – from the ground – we are compelled to get up completely – to reach a higher place than we were before the fall. When we are low, there may be a lot of denial. We must learn to face our fears., Then take the fear and return it to its root. When our fear of G-d becomes mixed with darkness, it becomes פַּחַד/pachad – a lower kind of fear. We need to elevate the fear from the darkness, and then it will become transformed back into light – into יִרְאַת ה'/yirat Hashem. We do this by turning to Hashem and strengthening our emunah. With true fear of G-d, a person would be more afraid of wrongdoing, which could cause a black spot on our eternity than of finding a black spot on the X-ray of the body, G-d forbid. We can use the lower kind of fear as a springboard towards the three stages of true fear of G-d, 1. fear of punishment, 2. fear of wrongdoing, 3. awe of Hashem’s greatness.

 
Unity is the Spiritual Remedy that Engenders Hashem’s Protection
When Moshe is on the verge of passing away, he strengthens the emunah of both his nearly orphaned people and their new leader Yeshoshua, so that they would be able to elevate fallen fears:

 

ספר דברים פרק לא פסוק ו

:חִזְקוּ וְאִמְצוּ אַל תִּירְאוּ וְאַל תַּעַרְצוּ מִפְּנֵיהֶם כִּי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ הוּא הַהֹלֵךְ עִמָּךְ לֹא יַרְפְּךָ וְלֹא יַעַזְבֶךָּ

“Be strong and courageous! Do not fear or dread them, for Hashem, your G-d, He is the One Who walks with you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you” (Devarim 31:6).

 
We don’t say, “do not fear” except when fear exists. Even if we may have reason to be afraid, we can dissolve our fears by leaning on G-d. Moshe assures the Israelites that, no matter what, “G-d will always walk with you.” The notion that Hashem will neither be above or ahead, but besides His people, is very comforting. There is no greater closeness than to experience your beloved at your side – walking together, as one. This oneness is the result of our achdut (unity) with all of Israel. Our verse alludes to the importance of unity by beginning in the plural and ending in the singular. This teaches us that when we are united and considered as one person, the Shechina dwells upon us. Then, Hashem walks with us. Therefore, “Be not in fear or in dread of” anything, because unity is the spiritual remedy that engenders Hashem’s protection. It is also possible to explain the switch from plural to singular as indicating that in the merit of our communal prayer, on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, Hashem will heed our individual prayers as well. For in addition to communal prayer, it is important to turn to Hashem as individuals at any given moment. Through the power of communal prayer, which includes a prayer that Hashem will also listen to our individual prayers, Hashem “will neither fail you nor forsake you” when you pray as an individual! (Chomat Anech, Devarim 31:6).

Everything Depends Only on Hashem’s Power Alone!
I was wondering why Moshe changed from “Hashem walks with you” to “Hashem walks before you” when addressing Yehoshua:
 

:ספר דברים פרק לא פסוק ח והָשֵׁם הוּא הַהֹלֵךְ לְפָנֶיךָ הוּא יִהְיֶה עִמָּךְ לֹא יַרְפְּךָ וְלֹא יַעַזְבֶךָּ לֹא תִירָא וְלֹא תֵחָת

“Hashem is the One Who walks before you; He will be with you; He will not let go of you, nor will 

G-d forsake you. Fear nothing, and do not be frightened” (Devarim 31:8).

 
Perhaps it is because Yehoshua had reached a level of strength and emunah whereby he was able to walk on his own, without having to lean on G-d out of fear. Therefore, Moshe reminded Yehoshua, that although he is becoming the leader of Israel, he must follow Hashem, Who walks before him. Ohr Hachayim notes, that not only does it state, “Hashem walks before you,” but Scripture adds “Hashem, He walks before you.” This teaches that Yehoshua shouldn’t think that he alone has the power to win wars etc. We need to imprint within every fiber of our being, that nothing depends on our power, but only on Hashem alone! Therefore, it states, “He walks…” He alone – without cooperation from any other power.
 
Believing that Hashem Will Never Forsake Us Leaves no Place for Fear
Rav Yosef Bechor Shor explains how Moshe assures Israel, saying, I [Moshe] will leave you, because I am a human being, and my days are limited, but Hashem will never fail nor forsake you, as long as you serve Him and cleave to Him. The eternal G-d, HE WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU – Even when you leave the mitzvot, and deserve punishment, He will never completely forsake you, G-d forbid! He will only distance Himself a little, to help you repent, before l returning to be close to you again (HaEmek Devar, Devarim 31:6). Therefore, “Fear nothing, and do not be frightened” at all, for Hashem will never forsake us neither in this world nor in the world-to-come!