Thursday, April 23, 2020

Why does Guarding our Tongue Generate the Greatest Spiritual Protection?


Parashat Tazria/Metzora

Why is it so Hard to Refrain from Negative Speech?
One of the factors that originally attracted me to become Torah observant was Torah’s emphasis on Jewish ethics – specifically proper conduct toward others. It is much easier for someone from the secular world to relate to developing refinement in thought, speech and actions, than, for example, to appreciate the intricate laws of Kosher foods. Every Jew and perhaps most gentiles, too, have an innate desire to become a good person. It’s just that outside of the Torah world, we are often misled about how to define this goal and about the ways to achieve it. Almost every person on this planet knows deep down, that gossip, bad mouthing and derogatory speech is a negative habit to stay away from. Nevertheless, people keep engaging in negative speech out of habit, or due to nothing better to talk about. Furthermore, we have all inherited an ingrained tendency to blame others – from Adam and Eve – who evaded taking responsibility for their wrongdoing by blaming someone else. Since there is no clear definition of what is considered unethical, negative speech in the secular world, it is easy to slide down to our lower selves and slip into damaging speech. Thus, since I don’t play bridge or chess, I’m always finding it challenging to visit with secular family and friends. It is often difficult to come up with meaningful topics for discussion, and without realizing it, we may naturally find ourselves entangled in disparaging gossip about mutual acquaintances. If we could only fathom the poisonous arrows emanating from our mouths, with every denigrating word, wouldn’t we be more careful? But if we must be so careful about speaking about others, what remains to speak about?

Worthwhile Speech is Limited to Words of Wisdom and Kindness
King Solomon, the wisest of all men, provides us with an answer in his description of the Woman of Valor: “Her mouth opens in wisdom, and the Torah of kindness is on her tongue” (Mishlei 31:26). This implies that rectified speech must remain within the categories of wisdom and kindness. ‘Wisdom’ implies sharing Torah insights and general knowledge, including but not limited to scientific discoveries. For example, discussing ways to remain healthy in various situations is surely included in, “Her mouth opens in wisdom…”  In addition to sharing wisdom, engaging in “Torah of kindness” is the second worthwhile way of conversing. Kindness refers to whatever kind of helpful, encouraging and soothing words we can share with others. Even giving directions on the street to a passerby or offering to pass the salt can be included in this category of ‘kindness.’ Every kind of worthwhile speech can be traced back to the two categories of ‘wisdom’ and ‘kindness.’ There is really no value in any other kind of speech. As my parents always used to say when we were kids: “If you don’t have anything good to say then keep silent!” This is a helpful rule of thumb to go by. Perhaps, Hashem orchestrated it that such a large part of the world population has been wearing face masks – even though there is very little evidence that it actually protects against the virus – in order to inculcate the message that we need to cover our mouth and think twice before letting out steam.

Protection from Plagues
In biblical times, a person who engaged in lashon hara would become afflicted with the spiritual skin disease called tzara’at. Hashem would give the person time to reflect and repent, by first bringing tzara’at on his home. If he didn’t repent, then it would spread to his utensils, and then finally afflict the person’s body (Midrash Tanchuma, Parashat Tazria Chapter 10). When the Kohen had diagnosed the person with tzara’at, he would have to leave the camp and be in quarantine until he was healed (Vayikra 13:46), before going through the purification process that would readmit him into the community (ibid.14:1-20). The current pandemic, which has put people in quarantine and confined populations to their homes, in some way parallels the purification process from tzara’at. This alludes to the fact that we must reflect on our lives and our relations with others, which first and foremost is expressed through speech. Becoming more careful with our use of words is advantageous in all ways. It will protect us from plagues and afflictions in this world and grant us eternal life in the next world. The midrash explains that, although the men of the generation of Shmuel were great Torah scholars, they would go to war and fall, because there were words of accusation between them. In contrast, although the generation of Achav worshipped Avodah Zara (idols), when they would go to war, not one of them would be killed, because there was no accusation between them (Midrash Tehillim 7). From this, we learn that the very best protection we can avail ourselves is to guard our tongue, as David exclaims, “Who is the person that wants life, loves his days, and looks for good? Guard your tongue from negativity and your lips from speaking deceit” (Tehillim 34:13-14).

When is it Permissible to Engage in Negative Speech?
There are times, however, when we do need to judge or criticize others, either to their face or discuss their problems with their teachers and mentors in order to help them. Sometimes, we may also need to warn our friends against a certain person – for example a cleaning lady who has been found to steal – in order to protect them from damage. In other words, it is permissible to use negative speech for a constructive purpose. Whenever we do so, we should first state that what we are going to discuss now is for a beneficial purpose. This will help us limit unnecessary speech and keep the Chafetz Chaim’s seven conditions for relating negative behavior to others (See Chafetz Chaim, Laws of Prohibition of Lashon Hara 10). These conditions are very complicated and this article is not the place to elucidate them. There are plenty of articles explaining them on the net. What I do want to share is an easy way to remember the seven conditions we need to keep, whenever we feel the need to engage in negative speech for a beneficial purpose. I found them on a Chafetz Chaim Foundation card many years ago and they have helped me remember and limit negative speech. The principles are summarized under the acronym of CAREFUL and they go like this:

Certainty – The information must be true.
Ascertain Verify that the information portrays an objective violation of Jewish Law.
Rebuke – Approach the transgressor before resorting to speaking about him.
Exaggerate – Do not exaggerate the severity or degree of the violation.
For a beneficial purpose – Have pure intentions, exclusively for constructive purposes.
Use another method – Look for ways to achieve the constructive purpose without revealing the negative information.
Loss of victim must match Torah law – Do not use negative speech if it causes more damage to the subject than what a Beit Din (court of Jewish Law) would have decreed to make up for his transgression.

The Severe Consequences of Lashon Hara
While the world at large may be happily unaware of the consequences of negative speech, the Torah recognizes the severe damage of negative speech, lashon hara – evil tongue and equates it with the three cardinal sins for which a person must sacrifice his life rather than violate: 

רמב”ם יד החזקה הלכות דעות פרק ז משנה ג אמרו חכמים שלש עבירות נפרעין מן האדם בעולם הזה ואין לו חלק לעולם הבא עבודת כוכבים וגילוי עריות ושפיכות דמים ולשון הרע כנגד כולם ועוד אמרו חכמים כל המספר בלשון הרע כאילו כופר בעיקר שנאמר אשר אמרו ללשוננו נגביר שפתינו אתנו מי אדון לנו ועוד אמרו חכמים שלשה לשון הרע הורגת האומרו והמקבלו וזה שאומר עליו והמקבלו יותר מן האומרו:
Our Sages said: “There are three sins for which retribution is exacted from a person in this world and, [for which] he is [nonetheless,] denied a portion in the world-to-come: idol worship, forbidden sexual relations, and murder. Lashon hara is equivalent to all of them.” Our Sages also said: “Anyone who speaks lashon hara is like one who denies G-d as [implied by Tehillim 12:5]: ‘Those who said: With our tongues we will prevail; our lips are our own. Who is Lord over us?’” In addition, they said: “Lashon hara kills three [people], the one who speaks it, the one who listens to it, and the one about whom it is spoken. The one who listens to it [suffers] more than the one who speaks it” (Babylonian Talmud, Arachin 15b; Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 7:3).

Every single exile in Jewish history was caused by lashon hara, from the expulsion of the Garden of Eden caused by Adam blaming Chava, and Chava blaming the snake to the destruction of the Second Temple. Also, the Egyptian exile came about through Yosef’s lashon hara, for which he greatly repented. Likewise, the lashon hara of the spies delayed entry into the Holy Land for forty years and its repercussion reverberated for generations until it ultimately effected the destructions of both Temples, as it states, “This selfsame night [when the congregation of Israel accepted the lashon hara of the spies] was the night of Tisha B’Av. The Holy One said, you cried a cry for no reason, I will establish for you a crying for generations...” (Babylonian Talmud, Ta’anit 29a). If every single exile of the Jewish people was caused by lashon hara, it follows that the avoidance of engaging in evil speech will bring the redemption! This is especially a pertinent message for women, who are greater talkers than men, as it states, “Ten measures of speech were given to the world, and nine of them were allocated to women” (Talmud, Kiddushin 49b). Moreover, we women, pave the way to the final redemption (Sotah 11b), Just as it was in the merit of the women's faith that the Israelites were redeemed from Egypt, so, too, will it be in the merit of the righteous women of our generation, that we will be redeemed once again (Arizal, Sha’ar Hagilgulim, Hakdamah 20).

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

How is the World Compelled to Come Closer to Kedusha (Holiness)?


Parashat Acharei Mot/Kedoshim 

Separation Leads to Holiness
Holiness is something to which the world is gradually becoming opened after a long period of mayhem in the wake of the ‘enlightenment.’ People have long mistaken spirituality for holiness, and the world is replete with spirituality, which is not necessarily holy. It is possible to be involved in all kinds of spiritualism that actually draws energy from what we call ‘the other side’ – the side of impurity. Voodoo, seances, divinations and tarot cards etc. are examples of such spirituality prohibited in the Torah from the mitzvah, “You shall be pure with Hashem Your G-d” (Devarim 18:13). The first time you find the root ק-ד-ש/kuf-dalet-shin – ‘holy’ in the Torah is

ספר בראשית פרק ב פסוק ג וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת יוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי וַיְקַדֵּשׁ אֹתוֹ...
“G-d blessed the seventh day and sanctified (ק-ד-ש) it…” (Bereishit 2:3).
Shabbat is the quintessence of holiness. We initiate the holiness of Shabbat into our homes by making kiddush (sanctification). Kiddush on Shabbat denotes that Shabbat is separated from the weekdays. It is separated and elevated above the mundane week, through Hashem’s completing the Creation and resting. Therefore, On Shabbat we emulate Hashem by resting from creative works. This teaches us that holiness is about separation. Separation leads to holiness and holiness is separateness and elevation. Due to the Corona pandemic, with its social distancing, we are being opened to understand the importance of separation. The Talmud states, “Torah leads to Watchfulness; Watchfulness leads to Zeal; Zeal leads to Cleanliness; Cleanliness leads to Separation; Separation leads to Purity; Purity leads to Saintliness; Saintliness leads to Humility; Humility leads to Fear of Sin; Fear of Sin leads to Holiness…” (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 20b). The famous book, “The Path of the Just” by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto shares practical teachings for how to attain these steps of character perfection and reach the level of kedusha – holiness. Lately, we have been compelled to become zealous about separation, and purity, as we have been sanitizing doorknobs and plastic wrapping in order to separate and protect ourselves from the invasive virus. This ingrains within us the awareness of separation on a physical, emotional, social and spiritual level. It also propels us closer to attaining the level of holiness. We may ask ourselves, “what is the essence of life, and the most important existential values? What do I want to hang on to and what do I want to separate from my life?” 

Must Men and Women Sit Separately at a Wedding?
A while ago an alumna student who was getting married consulted with me regarding separate seating at her wedding. She asked,

“My chatan (groom) wants separate seating. I’m interested to know whether this is a chumra (stringency) or halacha (Jewish law)? I understand that of course women’s dancing must be separate and screened off from the eyes of the men, but what about the seating? I feel weird about splitting up families, but I think this is what we will be doing as it is the norm in my chatan’s community.  Let me know your thoughts!”

The following is my response to her: “The more kedusha the better, when you marry, you need to follow your husband’s halacha and minhag. Therefore, I would go with the halacha/minhag of your husband- to- be.  Furthermore, separate seating is a good way to start a holy marriage, by increasing kedusha. There are even halachic sources that state that at a wedding where men and women sit together, we don’t recite the special wedding blessing שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ/she hasimcha b’meono – ‘that the happiness is in our abode’ prior to the Grace after Meals, because there is no happiness when the yetzer hara (negative impulse) rules (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 149:1). However, more modern commentaries note that we do not keep this stringency today, since nowadays it is customary that men and women mingle. Since men are now used to seeing women, there is less risk that it will cause them impure thoughts of sin (Levush haChor, Likutei Minhagim 36). Nevertheless, Rashi on Parashat Kedoshim teaches that wherever you find a separation fence against inappropriate sexuality, you find kedusha – holiness:

רש"י על ויקרא פרק יט פסוק ב  דבר אל כל עדת בני ישראל - (ויקרא רבה. ת"כ) מלמד שנאמרה פרשה זו בהקהל מפני שרוב גופי תורה תלוין בה: קדושים תהיו - הוו פרושים מן העריות ומן העבירה (ויקרא רבה) שכל מקום שאתה מוצא גדר ערוה אתה מוצא קדושה (ויקרא כא) אשה זונה וחללה וגו' אני ה' מקדשכם. (שם) ולא יחלל זרעו - אני ה' מקדשו. (שם) קדושים יהיו - אשה זונה וחללה וגו':
You shall be holy: Separate yourselves from sexual immorality and from sin, for wherever one finds a barrier against sexual immorality, one finds holiness. [for example, the Kohanim] “shall be holy to their G-d… they shall not marry a woman who engaged in forbidden sexual relations or one who was profaned…I, Hashem, Who sanctifies you [am holy]”… (Vayikra 21:6-8); (Rashi, Vayikra 19:2).

If separate seating would really make some family members uncomfortable, I would make a special, small, mixed family section for them. At my son’s wedding, we had three sections: one for men, another for women, and a third for the family members who would feel uncomfortable if men and women would have to be separated. There are accepted halachic authorities who permit mixed seating at a wedding (Igrot Moshe, Orach Chaim 1:41), however, this only pertains to assigned seats, where families sit together, but not to situations like receptions and buffets where people walk around and intermingle (Ibid. 39). 

The Redemptive Points of Corona Bringing Us Closer to Kedusha
It is interesting to note that the Jewish marriage ceremony is called kedushin (holiness) because it separates the wife from being available to other men, while dedicating her to her husband alone. When husband and wife guard the sanctity of marriage, by keeping a fence from others of the opposite sex, they sanctify their holy marriage unit. Limiting contact between unrelated men and women precludes them from inadvertently experiencing natural attraction and prevents flirting and more... Despite the hardship of the Corona epidemic, it has brought us closer to kedusha and served as a great fence against sexual immorality. When the bars and discotheques are closed and there is a curfew for leaving our homes, incurring monetary fines, people are forced to stay within the family unit. I know a couple that have been living in a paperless marriage for years, who are now required to remain separate as they each have their own apartment. Had they been married with a Chuppah and Kedushin, and moved in together they would have been able to remain together. Due to the epidemic, the opportunities for men and women to date is limited and certainly any physical contact between them is barred, by the requirement to keep two meters apart. The world is certainly experiencing a great upheaval. While our planet is being devastated by illness and panic, from within the hardships peek redemptive points. People are talking about how the Corona virus has reduced pollution in the world greatly. The choking smog of major cities in China – caused by the extensive burning of coal by factories – has been greatly diminished. On Feb. 20, daily coal consumption of six major power plants was 42.5% less than the same period last year. Although it can’t be measured as easily, I will venture to say that Corona has reduced not only the physical but also the spiritual pollution of immoral sexual behavior outside the sanctity of marriage. We are certainly living in redemptive times as portrayed by the prophet, “…the spirit of contamination I will remove from the earth” (Zechariah 13:2).

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

How Can We Protect Ourselves and Our Loved Ones from Eating Bugs?

Parashat Shemini
Printable Version

Does Hashem Require us to Refrain from Eating Figs?
Most people, Jewish or not, are naturally repelled by the thought of eating bugs. I recall, as an 8-9 year-old-child, being at a grown-up party where fresh raspberries were served. When lifting one of those delicious, soft, red berries to my mouth, I noticed several wiggling, white worms, which made me immediately let go of the raspberry in disgust. When I announced to the grownups that the raspberries were full of worms, I was being shushed, “shhsss… don’t talk about it!” That kind of encapsulates the attitude towards eating insects in secular society. “We don’t want to eat bugs, worms or any kind of creepy-crawlies, but what we don’t know about can’t harm us…” Therefore, no effort is made to prevent eating bugs, as this could not only be time- consuming, but also gross out people who would rather remain in the illusion that ‘our food and our lives are oh-so-clean and bug free.’ On the other hand, in the observant Jewish world, you will find people who avoid eating raspberries, strawberries, mulberries, figs, parsley, kale, beet leaves and more, out of the fear of consuming an inadvertent bug. Didn’t Hashem create all these beautiful, healthy natural foods for His people to enjoy and remain healthy? The following quote from the Jerusalem Talmud is well-known:
תלמוד ירושלמי מסכת קדושין דף מח/ב
רבי חזקיה ר' כהן בשם רב עתיד אדם ליתן דין וחשבון על כל שראת עינו ולא אכל:
In the future a person will have to give account for everything [permitted] that his eye saw but he didn’t eat (Jerusalem Talmud, Kidushin 48b).

Those who abstain from eating, for example, figs, all together claim that they are not included in the category of permitted fruits, since figs are known to be infested with little white worms, that look similar to the fig-pistils, and it is impossible to properly check them for bugs. Yet, to what extent does Hashem require of us to check our foods for bugs?  Must we avoid partaking of certain fruits and vegetables all together?

Must We Check for Bugs Under a Microscope?
We learn the laws of Kosher food from Parashat Shemini. Within the list of forbidden foods, there is a strong warning against eating any kind of insects (except locusts) including separate prohibitions for insects in the air, ground and water:

“But any flying insect that has four legs, is an abomination for you. Through these you will become impure; anyone who touches their dead bodies will be impure until evening” (Vayikra 11:23-24). “Any creeping creature that creeps on the ground is an abomination; it shall not be eaten.  Whatever goes on its belly, and whatever goes upon all fours, or whatever has many legs, among all creeping creatures that creep on the ground, you shall not eat, for they are an abomination. You shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping creature that creeps; neither shall you make yourselves impure with them, that you should be defiled thereby. For I am Hashem your G*d; sanctify yourselves therefore and be holy; for I am Holy; and you shall not defile yourselves through any creeping creature that crawls on the ground” (Vayikra 11:41-44).

From the various repetitions regarding the prohibition of eating bugs, we learn that a person eating one bug, G-d forbid, transgresses several mitzvot. This is what [the Sages said in the Talmud: “If one eats one insect that lives in water, one receives four series of lashes [for the four negative commandments transgressed by eating that one creature]; if one eats an ant [or any insect that crawls on the ground, one receives five series of lashes; if one eats a flying insect [he receives] six series of lashes” (Makot 16b); (Rashi, Vayikra 11:44). Yet, this prohibition pertains only to bugs that can be seen with the naked eye, even if it appears as only a tiny dot. Thus, we don’t have to check each leaf under a microscope- phew! 

The Ultimate Challenge for Women
I believe that the Torah emphasizes and repeats the prohibition of eating bugs and insects numerous times because inspecting food for insects is one of the hardest chores of religious service, through which our fear of G*d is tested the most. Especially, since in our modern world, much of the tedious housekeeping duties have been alleviated through washing-machines, food-processors, etc., women are expecting a shortcut in the sphere of food examination as well. In our fast-paced society, where women are busy juggling jobs, home and children, having the patience to sit down and check each grain of rice is highly impractical. It is very tempting to just overlook and ‘forget’ to take the required time to check, when no one sees. Therefore, properly inspecting our food for bugs, requires women to develop the highest degree of fear of G*d. We can reframe the task of food inspection and regard it as our spiritual worship and opportunity to demonstrate our dedication to Hashem and the mitzvah of kashrut. The fact that women, throughout the ages, have been entrusted with the responsibility of keeping a kosher home, shows how G*d-fearing women are expected to be, and how highly we are regarded by the Torah, the Rabbis, our husbands, and ourselves. 

Torah Principles Concerning Inspecting our Food for Insects
1. Fruits and vegetables which are usually infested may not be eaten before checking. This includes for example: Asparagus, artichoke, beans, beet greens, broccoli, brussels-sprouts, cabbage, carob, celery, cilantro, corn, dill, figs, guava, lentils, lettuce, parsley, rice, scallions, spinach, and strawberries.
2. Fruits and vegetables which are rarely infested need no checking, this includes for example: avocado, banana, canned oatmeal, carrot, cinnamon, coconut, coffee, cucumber, kohlrabi, onion, potato, salt, squash, sugar, tomato, zucchini, various melon, and watermelon.
3. Fruits which are infested may be strained for their juice.
4. Webs, crumbs, or holes in any package or bag of dry grains, seeds, or nuts are signs of insect infestation. Unless you have several hours at your disposal, do not take a chance trying to check it. You may feed it to the chickens or throw it in your compost pile.
5. The eggs of insects are prohibited, but they areבָּטֵל בְּשִׁשִּׁים /batel be’shishim (nullified within a mixture of sixty times more). 
6. A whole insect is never nullified in a mixture of even a thousand times more. Yet a broken insect is batel be’shishim. Therefore, when having less time to properly inspect fruits and vegetables it’s advisable to make smoothies and pestos, processing the leaves/fruits until smooth after having performed soaked in soapy water according to the procedure explained below (5).

Examples of How to Inspect Foods for Insects
Due to the wide variety of foods and bugs in different localities, only a few examples of how to check for bugs can be presented here. Please study one or more of the Halachic guides for fruit and vegetable inspection available on the subject. Keep in mind that no guide or handbook can provide the experience you may gain by learning hands on from a knowledgeable teacher.

1. Grains (rice/wheat-berries/barley/kasha/millet/ etc.) – Place the dry grains in a strainer and shake onto a white surface. If bugs fall through, discard the grains. If no bugs were found, continue by placing on a light-colored board or plate and check each grain under a good light.  Afterwards, the grains should be rinsed under running water in a strainer. Alternatively, the grains may be covered with salt water. If any infested grains float to the top, discard these and check the rest of the grains lightly.
2. Nuts (peanuts/almonds/walnuts/pistachios etc.) – If they appear whole and fresh, open two-three for checking inside. If they are okay, the rest may be eaten without checking. 
3. Flour – that was kept in the refrigerator or freezer from the time of milling does not need checking. All other flour must be sifted through a suitable sifter. Sift whole-wheat flour in a 40 per inch sifter. Sift white flour in a 75 per inch sifter. If there are bugs found in the sifter, discard the flour, since some bugs may be small enough to go through. Clean sifter well.
4. Dried Beans – Place them in a bowl covered with warm water over night.  Alternatively, pour boiling water over them and allow them to soak for three hours.  Take a handful of beans at a time and inspect on both sides.  If no pinholes or dark spots are discovered, the beans are bug free.  If tiny holes are found, this is evidence of infestation.  Dark spots should be checked by cutting the bean in half to search for insects.  If there is evidence of infestation, all the beans, even those without holes or dark spots should be cut in half one by one and checked for bugs.
5. Greens (Swiss-chard /lettuce/buck-choy/spinach etc.) – Separate the leaves. Soak in organic vegetable wash (halachic requirement is any dish detergent) for three minutes. Rinse the greens vigorously under a strong stream of water and massage the leaves to ensure that any possible bugs slide off the leaves. Hold up to the light and look for tunnels on both sides. Check both on the upper surface and the bottom of the soap water. If no bugs appear, then the vegetables may be used. If a few bugs are seen, repeat step the soaking and rinsing in clean water, as many times as necessary until no more bugs appear in the water.
6. Green Herbs – Dill, parsley, and cilantro are frequently heavily infested with tiny aphids. Therefore, if possible, it is advisable to use only Gush Katif. If you cannot get bug-free greens, you only eat organic, or grow your own, make sure you plan ahead to allow enough time to properly inspect the greens. An initial inspection can be done by holding the greens by their stems and banging them on a white surface. If no bugs appear, we still cannot assume that the vegetables are totally free of bugs. Soak them for three minutes in water with organic vegetable wash (swirling the herbs several times). Check both on the upper surface and the bottom of the soap water.  If no bugs appear, then the vegetables may be used. If tiny bugs are seen, then it is best to forget about cleaning them. The many tiny leaves of these vegetables make removing all the bugs almost impossible. Just wrap them up in a cloth or filter bag and seal it well. Then they can be boiled to make soup or give flavor to any dish and later discarded. 
7. Sweet Corn – Corn on the cob is frequently infested with tiny (one mm) black bugs called thrips. They quickly hide deep between the kernels, where it is impossible to see or remove them.  Yet, the inner surface of the green leaves may be carefully examined.  If no bugs are seen there, it is highly unlikely that bugs are present, and the corn can be eaten on the cob. If bugs are found, the corn can only be eaten by cutting the kernels off the cob. Soak in vegetable soap-water for three minutes. Rinse under a stream of water. 
8. Strawberries – Cut away the green leaves with a small amount of the berry, and any part which appears cracked or folded.  Soak in vegetable soap-water for three minutes. Rinse well under a stream of running water.
9. Pitted Fruits Fresh or Dry (plums/apricots/peaches/dates) – Cut in half and remove pit. Look inside for worms or bugs. (Checking figs for bugs, please see The Seven Fruits of the Land of Israel with their Mystical & Medicinal Properties page 213).
10. Raisins – Check on both sides. Soak some of the raisins from the bag in warm water for several minutes and stir. If there are floaters, all the raisins are considered infested. If there are no floaters and the water is clean of insects the raisins in the entire bag/box may be used.

Returning to the Garden of Eden by Separating Good from Bad
Sorting through vegetables, legumes and grains, looking for black spots and crawling creatures, develops our ability to separate good from bad. This process enables rectifying the eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and perfecting the world. Perhaps, the reason why it is possible in our time to obtain some bug-free vegetables, is because our world is gradually evolving towards perfection. Since it was the woman who ate first and then offered her husband the “Good and Evil” food (Bereishit 3:6), it is now women, who have the opportunity to remove the “Evil” from the food and offer others and ourselves only “Good.” In this way, checking for bugs empowers us to transform the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, which is the main job of humanity, in order to return the world to its original peace and harmony in the Garden of Eden, where all food will again become free of bugs and insecticides!

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

What Does Eating Matzah Have to Do with Social Distancing?

Shabbat Chol HaMoed Pesach from Parashat Ki Tisa
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No Exits to Run Away from Our Selves
We are going to celebrate a very special Pesach this year- a Pesach where we can truly ask, even if we must ask ourselves, “Why is this [Seder] night different from all other [Seder] nights? All the social distancing, with its restrictions, makes us feel like we are once again slaves in Mitzrayim (from Hebrew: constriction). Just as it was in Egypt, now, the restrictions are getting harder and harder. First, we were restricted to praying only in a congregation with less than 100 people, then, only with less than 10 people, then no gathering of even a small group inside. It was only permitted to pray in a minyan 2 meters apart outside, and now according to the latest restrictions, everyone must pray at home. Echoing Yishai Ribo’s heartfelt song, asking Hashem, “What do you want us to learn from this? How will we know how to unify in this separation?” It seems to me that Hashem wants to strengthen us, to get ready for something very big. The first step of the spiritual preparation – for the awaited paradigm shift – is to learn to reconnect with our personal, essential selves, in order to free our souls from bondage and dependence on others, including various forms of co-dependence. When we are busy participating in diverse social settings, we may not be aware of how much we lean on other people, rather than tuning into our independent strength, leaning only on Hashem. Now, alone with our selves, it is time to shed the layers of the superficial image we project into the world, while returning to our essential selves – our soul inherently connected with the Divine. Whereas, Yishai Ribo captures the feelings of the world – of not wanting to be alone – and asking what Hashem wants from us, I will venture to answer that ‘being alone’ is exactly what Hashem wants from us, at least for the time being. It seems clear that Hashem has removed all exits and outlets, so that we can no longer run away from our selves. Hashem wants us to peel away all our exterior layers, so that each of us can be לְבַד עִם עַצְמִי/le’vad im atzmi – ‘Alone with myself and my essence’ (in Hebrew the word עַצְמִי/atzmi means both).

Eating Matzah, Returning to Our Essence and Gaining Freedom from Excess
The message of returning to our essence is the message of the matzah. Why is the matzah calledלֶחֶם עֹנִי /lechem oni (the bread of poverty)? Matzah is called lechem oni because it consists of only the bare essentials of flour and water. This contrasts with matzah ashira (rich matzah) which contains eggs and honey that enriches the bread. The poor person has no money, only himself and his body. Likewise, matzah has only the essential dough. It also doesn’t have any yeast or leaven agent, so that the taste of the yeast won’t change and add to the essence of the dough. Although, the usual outlook of the worldis that money provides freedom, actually, matzah is the bread of freedom and redemption, because true “freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.” Maharal explains that redemption can only come, when each of us becomes totally our self, without being dependent on anyone/thing else. The economic crisis happening today is making us remove all the excess materialism and return to appreciate fulfilling only our essential needs. Unlike the slave who cannot stand on his own but is dependent on his master, wealth and materialism cannot stand on its own, because it is dependent on its possessions. When the stores are closed, and even online shopping is limited, we gain independence from materialism since we can only buy our vital food and medicine. Poverty without possessions is essential for redemption, because it stands on its own. Therefore, we were commanded to eat the bread of poverty at the night of the Exodus, since the matzah has nothing but the essence of bread. Although simplicity is considered a lack in this compound world, it is a virtue from the perspective of the World of Simplicity – the World of Truth towards which we are currently transitioning. On the night of Pesach, we eat the simple matzah because we are redeemed from this compound world, in order to enter the upper world, which is simple (Maharal, Gevurat Hashem Chapter 51).

Your Deeds in This World are What You Will have in the Eternal World
My friend, Chava Berg, had a profound insight on our current situation, when we are unable to buy new things because the stores are closed, and it’s even impossible to order online from abroad, since the few planes that still fly only carry vitally important cargo. Having to make do with what we have, without any possibility to exchange what we’ve already got and what we don’t like, is a parable for the World-to -Come. In Olam Haba (the coming world), we will find ourselves in the same situation: what we come with is what we have. There will be no opportunity for getting more, no getting what we forgot, no exchanging what we don’t like. Our actions, words and thoughts, that we brought along from our lives in this world, will be all that we have forever. Hashem, in His endless kindness, is giving us our present situation of material scarcity as a stark, very powerful reminder of what will be. Just like it’s no use regretting that we did not buy something, or did not go to somebody’s Simcha, or go to shul when we still could, so it will be no use regretting not coming closer to Hashem. Then it will be too late to perform the mitzvot we could have done, such as learning more Torah, reciting more heartful prayers, being more giving and forgiving to others, and using all those wonderful talents Hashem granted us, to make this into a better world. However, today it’s still not too late to serve Hashem and keep his mitzvot better, so let’s intensify our service like a runner who approaches his goal.

Integrating the Message of the Matzah by Eating Matzah Every Day of Pesach
I thought I was going to write about the women’s mitzvah of eating matzah on Pesach, but Hashem put different words in my fingertips. Still, I wanted to share that, although I try to stay away from bread and flour as much as possible, and prefer eating whole grains and vegetables, I’ve decided, this year, to try to eat matzah every day, in order to give preference to spiritual above physical benefits. I always thought that it was perfectly fine to eat the prescribed matzah on Seder night, Shabbat and on the last day of Pesach. The rest of the week, I could eat other healthier, more fiber rich non-chametz foods. Baruch Hashem, that quinoa has become accepted as kosher for Pesach, also for Ashkenazis. Although the Torah states that you must eat matzah for seven days, the Talmud explains that it is not an obligation to eat matzah except during the Seder night:

ספר שמות פרק לד פסוק יח
אֶת חַג הַמַּצּוֹת תִּשְׁמֹר שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תֹּאכַל מַצּוֹת אֲשֶׁר צִוִּיתִךָ לְמוֹעֵד חֹדֶשׁ הָאָבִיב כִּי בְּחֹדֶשׁ הָאָבִיב יָצָאתָ מִמִּצְרָיִם:
“The Festival of Matzah you shall keep; seven days you shall eat unleavened cakes which I have commanded you, at the appointed meeting time of the month of spring, for in the month of spring you went out of Egypt” (Shemot 34:18).

Unlike the first night of Pesach, where there is a mitzvah to eat matzah, during the rest of the holiday, consuming matzah is an option rather than an obligation. A beraita supports [the opinion of] Rava: “Six days you shall eat matzah and on the seventh day it shall be a resting for Hashem your G-d” (Devarim 16:8). Just as on the seventh day [eating matzah] is not obligatory, so too the first six days [eating matza] is not obligatory … Can it be that even the first night [eating matza] is not obligatory? It was learned from “on matzot and maror it shall be eaten” (Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 120a).

Yet, the Vilna Gaon teaches that there is a Biblical mitzvah to eat matzah all seven days of Pesach. The simple meaning of this Torah verse, even when that verse is understood differently by Chazal, conveys a mitzvah from the Torah, although it is not the same kind of obligatory mitzvah to eat matzah on the Seder night. Understanding the essential message of the matzah, to return to our essential selves, without the exterior trappings, inspires us to understand the importance to ingrain this message every day of Pesach. We, women, need to integrate this message no less than men. Therefore, women are obligated in the mitzvah of matzah, since we were part of the miracle of the Exodus (we were actually redeemed in the merit of the righteous women (Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 43b).

Repairing the Family Unit
Once we have achieved reconnection with our true selves through eating matzah in isolation, contemplation and meditation, then we need to repair the family unit. With more time on hand and less distractions, we can focus on the people in the inner circle of our lives, those who are most dear to us: our spouse, parents, children and siblings. The current situation truly protects the family, making it nearly impossible for anyone to cheat on his or her spouse. Banning pre-marital sex is a natural consequence of social distancing. Children and teenagers are being kept within the protective walls of the home, without their regular outlets for getting in trouble. This situation offers the opportunity to repair the gap between parents and children. The last Shabbat before Pesach, Shabbat HaGadol, we read about repairing this gap as a preparation for “the great and awesome day of Hashem.” The last word of the haftorah also alludes to the current social distancing, where we are all, in a way, excommunicated from one another:

ספר מלאכי פרק ג פסוק כג הִנֵּה אָנֹכִי שֹׁלֵחַ לָכֶם אֵת אֵלִיָּה הַנָּבִיא לִפְנֵי בּוֹא יוֹם הָשֵׁם הַגָּדוֹל וְהַנּוֹרָא:
פסוק כד וְהֵשִׁיב לֵב אָבוֹת עַל בָּנִים וְלֵב בָּנִים עַל אֲבוֹתָם פֶּן אָבוֹא וְהִכֵּיתִי אֶת הָאָרֶץ חֵרֶם:
Behold, I will send you Eliyahu the prophet before the coming of the great and awesome day of Hashem, 24 that he may turn the heart of the fathers back through the children, and the heart of the children back through their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with excommunication (Malachi 3:23-24).

We have come full circle. The final redemption follows the pattern of the first redemption (Micha 7:15). Like the first Pesach in Egypt we are confined within our homes. Just as the Kohanim were commanded, “Do not go out from the opening of the Tent of Meeting (Shemot  8:33), all Israel was commanded, “None of you shall go out of the opening of his house (Shemot 12:22)…[in order to  be protected from the plague of the firstborn]. It compared the last redemption with the first redemption (Ba’al HaTurim, Shemot 12:8). May Hashem protect us from the current plague as He protected us from the Ten Plagues in Egypt!

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Do Women Have to Pray Mincha?


Parashat Tzav
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Is Prayer a Positive Time Bound Mitzvah from which Women are Exempt?
Here we go, another parasha replete with קָרְבָּנוֹת/korbanot (sacrifices). “How can I possibly find even a hint of halacha in Parashat Tzav?” I asked myself. Then Hashem sent me a flash. Today our prayers are substituted for the korbanot. It’s long overdue to discuss women’s responsibility in prayer. Our prayers are vital, especially at these trying times when we are all working on bettering ourselves, being struck by how our fate is completely in Hashem’s hand. Since the laws of women’s prayer obligation aren’t so clear to many of us, we have often become lackadaisical. Now is the time to intensify prayers, so, let’s try to clarify. First of all, the word קָרְבָּן/korban literally means ‘to come close.’ Prayer is ‘the service of the heart’ through which we draw ourselves closer to Hashem. In memory of the sacrifices, we pray facing Yerushalayim. By the way, that is not always מִזְרָח/Mizrach – ‘East,’ as it depends where in the world we are located. This should be obvious, but I’ve often had visitors from abroad and even those who have lived in Israel for several decades, asking me the direction of Mizrach for purposes of prayer. I then point out that here, in Bat Ayin, we pray facing North, since we are situated South of Jerusalem. The source for substituting prayers for sacrifices is from the prophet Hoshea:

ספר הושע פרק יד פסוק ג קְחוּ עִמָּכֶם דְּבָרִים וְשׁוּבוּ אֶל הָשֵׁם אִמְרוּ אֵלָיו כָּל תִּשָּׂא עָוֹן וְקַח טוֹב וּנְשַׁלְּמָה פָרִים שְׂפָתֵינוּ:
“Take words with yourselves and return to Hashem. Say, ‘You shall forgive all iniquity and teach us [the] good [way] and let us render [for] bulls [the offering of] our lips’” (Hoshea 14:3).         

Just as the purpose of the sacrifices was to bring us into a state of repentance, which brought about at-one-ment, so, too, is the purpose of prayer. “Therefore, all sacrifices could be brought by both men and women” (Rambam, Hilchot Ma’aseh Hakorbanot 3:2). In addition, there were special sacrifices for women after giving birth (Vayikra 12:7). “Thus, it is a positive commandment [also for women] to pray every day, as it is written: “You shall serve Hashem your G-d.” (Shemot 23:25) …This service is prayer, as it states, “Serve G-d with all of your heart” (Devarim 11:13). The sages explained, what is service of the heart? This is prayer. The number of prayers is not biblical. The form of prayer is not biblical and prayer has no biblically fixed time. Therefore, women… are obligated to pray because it is a positive non-time-bound mitzvah (Rambam, Hilchot Tefilah 1:1-2).
           
The Minimum Prayer Obligation for Women    
The Sages of the Talmud state that women are obligated to pray (Berachot 20b). The question is how much and which prayers a woman is obligated to pray. The answer is that it depends. The prayer service, as found in the siddur, is Rabbinic, because the Torah gives no obligating measure for prayer. I love that prayer is so flexible for women. If a woman is busy taking care of small children, she can rely on the minimum Torah obligation, as explained by Rambam, “A person should supplicate and pray every day and relate the praise of G-d and afterwards ask for his/her needs as a request and a supplication, and then thank G-d for the good that has been bestowed upon him/her, each person according to his/her ability (Rambam, Hilchot Tefilah 1:1-2). This implies that a woman can fulfill her obligation to pray by talking to Hashem in her own words. Even one sentence that includes words of praise, request and thanks may suffice. (Magen Avraham, Shulchan Aruch, OH 106:1). Yet, this is the minimum of minimum. Some authorities like Ramban holds that the rabbinic decree to pray (as found in the siddur) applies to men and women alike. Most halachic authorities obligate even childrearing women to recite Birkot HaShachar including Birkot HaTorah, which contains the three main aspects of prayer (Rabbi Eliezer Melamed, Peninei Halacha, Women’s Prayer 2:4). It takes about 5 minutes to recite Birkat Hashachar (unless you choose to struggle through it in unfamiliar Hebrew). I can’t imagine any woman too busy to spare 5 minutes a day, for fulfilling her minimum requirement of prayer. What about women who aren’t taking care of small children? Well, I don’t take care of little children, but I still cannot find the time to pray the entire prayer-service that my husband and sons pray. I’m embarrassed to say, but 15-20 minutes in the morning and 10-15 minutes in the afternoon is all I can fit into my schedule. So, what should I skip? When discussing women’s prayer obligation with one of my friends, who is also the Rebbetzin of a midrasha, she claimed that a woman can pray whatever prayer she connects with, and it is therefore unnecessary to clarify the order of priority in prayer for women. While, kavana (intention) in prayer is a must, I believe that it is still important for us busy women to know the priority for women’s prayers so that when we have less time, we will know what to skip first. 

The Centrality of the Silent Prayer
The word תְּפִלָּה/tefilah in the Talmud refers specifically to the silent prayer, also called the Amidah or Shemoneh Esre. This prayer was originally composed by a woman – the biblical Chana – is the heart of our prayers. It is the prayer formula, which more than any other prayer, reaches the Throne of Glory. This is the prayer not to be missed, for it affords an intense Divine encounter and is highly effective for requesting our needs. Most halachic authorities agree that after Birkot Hashachar, women who are not tied up by small children, must pray the Amidah. Yet, there is a dispute whether a woman is obligated to recite the Amidah both for shacharit (morning prayer) and mincha (afternoon prayer) or just for shacharit. These different opinions stem from the machloket (dispute) as to whether the origin of tefilah is a Torah obligation or rabbinic. According to Rambam the essence of the commandment of tefilah is biblical, while the times of tefilah are rabbinic. Yet, “according to Ramban, the essence of the mitzvah of tefilah is Rabbinic... [Since the Rabbis] ordained the required prayers of shacharit, mincha and the optional prayer of Aravit, women are obligated to pray shacharit and mincha just like men, since tefilah is a request for mercy” (R. Yisrael Meir HaKohen, Mishnah Berurah on Shulchan Aruch 106:1).The Sephardi opinion goes according to Rambam and requires only one Amidah, whereas, the Ashkenazi opinion goes according to Ramban and requires both shacharit and mincha. Everyone exempts women from ma’ariv, since that was originally an optional prayer for men alone, as it does not correspond to any sacrifice.

Mincha – Time of Divine Favor for Praying for a Soulmate
As an Ashkenazi who is not busy with little children, I am not exempted from the mincha prayer. Yet, I’ve always found it very challenging to pull myself away from whatever I’m in the middle of doing and turn to Hashem in prayer before the sun sets. Every year for Rosh Hashana, I took upon myself again and again to daven mincha. Yet, I kept slipping. Mourning for my father, somehow, helped me to be consistent in fulfilling my prayer obligations. The following commentary of Rabbi Efraim Luntschitz inspires me to be careful to pray mincha. “Eliyahu was only answered through his mincha prayer (Babylonian Talmud, Berachot 6b). Yitzchak, our father, was answered immediately through his mincha prayer. We may assume that Yitzchak prayed for his soulmate when he went to pray mincha in the field. Immediately after he prayed for her, “He lifted his eyes and saw, behold camels were coming” …After completing his prayer, he lifted his eyes and saw that he was instantly answered by the camels bringing his soulmate. From this we learn, that a person is answered mostly through the mincha prayer. The reason for this is that midat hadin (the attribute of judgment) accuses specifically at night. Whereas, both the morning and the evening prayer are close to the night, mincha is far from the night. Therefore, there are no accusing forces attached to this prayer (Kli Yakar, Bereishit 24:63).

The Order of Prayer Priority for Women
Although there are halachot about prayer priorities for women, tefilah is very personal, especially for women. Perhaps this is why there is such a lack of clarity on the topic. One of our teachers brought a certain prayer chart for women to the students of Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin, which didn’t make sense to me. When I decided to look deeply into the sources and create our own prayer chart for women, I realized the complexity of this task. Thus, the chart I have created, based on many sources, especially Mishna Berurah, and Peninei Halakha Laws of Women's Prayer may still be up for dispute. Knowledge of prayer priorities leaves leeway for each woman to choose the prayers that she connects with. Each of us must find the balance between halachic priority and personal preference. There is an interesting discussion forum on women’s prayer obligation, which brings many different views on the topic. From another online forum Imamother Connecting Frum Women What Tefillos do you daven? we see that women’s prayer practice is exceedingly varied and individualized.
 One woman on the forum became offended when someone else wrote to her: “There are halochos what tefillos are important to say daily. You can’t just decide to say Shemonei Esra and Aleinu and skip Shema…” By the way, that particularly preaching woman seemed to have the priorities wrong, when she later noted P’sukei D’zimra as priority, without even mentioning the Amidah. Since prayer is the service of the heart, each woman knows her own heart best. As the offended woman concluded, “You are not me and you haven’t walked in my place. I’m doing the best I can and I’m sure that Hashem knows that.” Having said all this, please take my attempt to clarify and organize women’s prayer priority as a general guideline that you can adapt to the service of your own heart.



Minimum requirement for women occupied with childcare
Obligated  prayer
Required prayer
l’chatchila
Higher way of fulfilling required prayer
Highly  recommended
l’chatchila
Non required
recommended
Voluntary
non required
Birkat HaShachar including Birkat HaTorah


Baruch Sh’amar, Ashrei, Yistabach
Six Halelukas






Remaining Pesukei d’Zimra






First (two verse(s) of Keriat Shema



Three paragraphs of Shema






Emet v’yatziv between Shema and Amidah




One daily Amidah (preferably Shacharit)



One additional Amidah for Mincha




Bedtime
Shema & Hamapil