Parashat Vaera: How Can We Merit to End the Current War in Ultimate Victory?

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Parashat Vaera
How Can We Merit to End the Current War in Ultimate Victory?

What Kind of Heritage Do I Wish to Bequeath to Our Offspring?

A long time has passed since my husband and I arrived from different corners of the earth and met in Jerusalem, the vortex of the world. Since then, we have built our lives and settled on a beautiful plot of land in the Land of Israel. Not a day goes by without us thanking Hashem for this zchut (privilege) to manage our homestead here in the Promised Land. What an honor to build our home on our treasured land, and engage in its upkeep, such as renovating, insulating, and painting it. Likewise, we delight in tending to our trees, vegetables, herbs, and flowers here on our own holy land portion. Although our patriarchs and matriarchs also tended the land of Israel – then called Cana’an – they had not yet inherited the land, which Hashem had promised them, as a heritage for their children.  Therefore, Avraham called himself a ‘foreigner- resident’ (Bereishit 23:4) when he needed to purchase the Machplah cave as a burial place for Sarah. Baruch Hashem through our soldiers’ blood, bravery, and tears the former land of Canaan and Palestine has now become our Land of Israel – the Jewish homeland – where we never again will have to be foreigners. My husband and I worked hard for our heritage in Israel, which we wish to bequeath to our children. Many of our friends have already written their will, but we have been hesitating, and now I know why. I just read an article by Rabbi Riskin about the difference between a יְרֻשָּׁה/yerusha – ‘inheritance’ and מוֹרָשָׁה/morasha – ‘heritage.’ Whereas most people’s Will is a yerusha – an inheritance that the children inherit without any strings attached, Hashem gave the Jewish people Israel as a morasha – a heritage – which is not only for the children themselves but will remain within the family for all future generations. Such a heirloom must be deserved, worked for, and maintained. The difference between a yerusha and a morasha is that the latter requires active involvement and participation. It can be compared to the difference between inheriting a sum of money or a family business. Receiving a morasha needs sweat, blood, and tears to maintain, keep going, and develop. So, I told my husband, “I want to leave my children not only with a yerusha, but with the morasha of our homestead, that they continue to tend and develop. I want our descendants to live on our land and pick the fruits of the trees we planted, for fruit-picking is actually work and effort.”

What is the Consequence of Moshe’s Complaint About the Intensified Hardship in Egypt?

The three most important things that Hashem bequeaths to His Chosen people must be acquired through hardships:

תלמוד בבלי ברכות ה ע/א תַּנְיָא, רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַאי אוֹמֵר: שָׁלֹשׁ מַתָּנוֹת טוֹבוֹת נָתַן הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, וְכוּלָּן לֹא נְתָנָן אֶלָּא עַל יְדֵי יִסּוּרִין, אֵלּוּ הֵן: תּוֹרָה וְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל וְהָעוֹלָם הַבָּא:

The Holy One, Blessed be He, gave Israel three precious gifts, all of which were given only by means of suffering, [which purified Israel so that they may merit to receive them. These gifts are:] Torah, Eretz Yisrael, and the World-to-Come (Babylonian Talmud, Berachot 5a).

I believe that suffering can be transformed into effort and through Emunah faith) we can take on a self-imposed effort that will take the place of suffering. Let me explain. At the end of Parashat Shemot Moshe complains that since he followed Hashem’s instruction to tell Pharaoh to “Let my people go” the situation had gotten so much worse for the Israelites. (They now had to gather the straw on their own while still producing the same amount of bricks as beforehand). Thus, Parashat Shemot concludes with Moshe’s complaint to Hashem: “Since I have come to Pharaoh to speak in Your name, he has harmed this people, and You have not saved Your people” (Shemot 5:23). This statement is the first cause that made Moshe lose the privilege of entering into the Land of Israel. Hashem responds to Moshe’s complaint by telling him about the forthcoming Exodus from Egypt: “Hashem said to Moshe, ‘Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh, for with a mighty hand he will send them out, and with a mighty hand he will drive them out of his land” (Shemot 6:1). Eithin this promise of redemption there is an allusion to Moshe’s punishment as Rashi explains.         

What Character Flaw Caused Moshe to be Barred from Entering the Land of Israel?

NOW YOU WILL SEE - You have questioned My ways [of running the world, which is] unlike Avraham, to whom I said, “For in Yitzchak your seed shall be called” (Bereishit 21:12), and afterward I said to him, “Bring him up there for a burnt offering” (Bereishit 22:2), yet he did not question Me. Therefore, NOW YOU WILL SEE - What is done to Pharaoh you will see, but not what is done to the kings of the seven nations [a reference to the battles fought to conquer Canaan] when I bring the children of Israel into the land of Israel (Rashi, Shemot 6:1). In other words, Hashem reprimands Moshe for his complaint which expresses a lack of emunah compared to Avraham, who had to endure great hardships without questioning Hashem. Due to this lack of emunah, Moshe lost the privilege of joining the Israelites in conquering the seven Canaanite nations when they would (forty years later) enter the Promised Land. Although Moshe’s slight lack of emunah stemmed from his great compassion and empathy for his people, there was still a minute element where he failed to look beyond the suffering of the moment and recognize that it was all part of the divine covenant. Through his immense care for the Israelites, he could see only what was immediately before him, namely that his intervention had resulted in a worsening of the Israelites’ situation. Although Moshe’s limited perspective stemmed from his deep identification with the pain of his people, nevertheless, G-d limited his perspective by cutting his life short; so that he wouldn’t be able to enter the Promised Land and witness the Israelites’ conquest. He who questioned the divine promise will not merit seeing its full realization (Based on Ilana Kurshan, Parashat Vaera). Whereas Moshe’s complaint emanated from his lofty level of love for his fellow Jews, regular people in the midst of suffering unbeknownst to themselves naturally try to alleviate the suffering through complaining or blaming. This tendency stems all the way back to the first humans. It is a way of projecting the hardship that seems too hard to bear onto someone else. However, that usually never helps in the long run. We can learn from Moshe’s complaint and its severe consequence that the best way to deal with hardships is through emunah. Strengthening our emunah in Hashem’s goodness – and believing that in the end, even our current suffering will turn out for the best will help us get through the bumps on our way!

Acquiring the Land of Israel through the Effort of Emunah

ספר שמות פרק ו פסוק ח וְהֵבֵאתִי אֶתְכֶם אֶל הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר נָשָּׁאתִי אֶת יָדִי לָתֵת אֹתָהּ לְאַבְרָהָם לְיִצְחָק וּלְיַעֲקֹב וְנָתַתִּי אֹתָהּ לָכֶם מוֹרָשָׁה אֲנִי הַשֵׁם:

“I will bring you to the land, concerning which I raised My hand to give to Avraham, to Yitzchak, and to Ya’acov, and I will give it to you as a heritage; I am Hashem” (Shemot 6:8).

The above verse gives me a lot of hope that Hashem will soon expand the boundaries of Eretz Yisrael according to His promise to Avraham “From the river of Egypt until the great river, the Euphrates River” (Bereishit 15:18). As Ramban explains “I have raised the strength of My arm to Myself that I will give them the Land” (Ramban, Shemot 6:8). However, our Torah verse also indicates that our efforts are what brings Hashem’s oath into effect. Hashem swore that he would give us the land as a מוֹרָשָׁה/morasha – ‘heritage’ rather than a יְרֻשָּׁה/yerusha –‘inheritance.’ The added letter mem in morasha is a grammatical sign of intensity, for us to come into possession of a morasha, we must work for it. Thus, the Promised Land is acquired through suffering or effort. The effort of strengthening our emunah to have faith that everything will become better is the mildest way of acquiring Israel through suffering because overcoming our natural urge to complain – when things are hard like during this current war – is a way that we can take on the short-lived suffering of not following our negative inclination, but overcoming it through emunah, which will turn all the darkness into light.  Israel’s new ‘anthem’ is proof that Israelis today especially our brave soldiers are strengthening our emunah by singing at the top of our lungs: “Hashem, blessed be He, always loves me, and everything will always be good for me, and it will be even better and even better and it will always be only good for me!” 

Parashat Chukat: A Tribute to Miriam – The Provider of the Eternal Well of Emunah

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Parashat Chukat
A Tribute to Miriam – The Provider of the Eternal Well of Emunah 

Why do We Appreciate Something or Someone So Much More When They are Gone?
“You only appreciate something when you lose it” seems to be a universal principle. How many times has it happened that you held on to an item – be it a garment or a cooking utensil or whatnot – although you hadn’t needed it for years? Then after you finally gave or threw the item away, the very next day you urgently need it!  Unfortunately, we also often truly appreciate people after they are gone. Many great authors like H.C. Andersen, only received their due credit posthumously.  I realize how much I often appreciate the contribution of certain students especially after they have left. For example, we have a wonderful, modest student who went abroad to visit her family for an extended time. As soon as she was gone, the cleanliness of the midrasha kitchen and Beit Midrash fell apart. None of us had realized how hard this student worked to take out the compost and garbage, sweep, mop, clean up the stray mugs from the classroom, do the dishes, organize the books, and more. She did her work quietly without taking any personal credit. When our youngest son took a while to get married, it seemed a bit of a nuisance to keep providing him with room and board for so many years. Only after he got married and left us empty nesters, did we truly appreciate all his many contributions, and we still miss his daily presence dearly. I especially recall working at my desk and hearing my son’s singsong of his Torah learning from his adjacent room. Pesach preparations this year were also overwhelming without his help, and with no one to clean ‘his own room.’ At this moment, I’m praying for the return of the internet or to be able to complete my blog without the internet. I’m counting the hours that Netfiber has been down which so far amounts to 15, it seems that there is only one thing more vital for survival than the internet, which we may all take for granted until it runs out, as we have experienced in our neighborhood at the most inconvenient occasions. Yes, you guessed it, when the water pipes have broken down we all cry out “Water, water!”

Miriam Perpetually Answers the Cry for Water
This cry – although less severe – echoes the cry of our forefathers in the wilderness, after Miriam’s burial:

במדבר פרק כ:א-ב וַיָּבֹאוּ בְנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל כָּל הָעֵדָה מִדְבַּר צִן בַּחֹדֶשׁ הָרִאשׁוֹן וַיֵּשֶׁב הָעָם בְּקָדֵשׁ. וַתָּמָת שָׁם מִרְיָם וַתִּקָּבֵר שָׁם: ב) וְלֹא הָיָה מַיִם לָעֵדָה. וַיִּקָּהֲלוּ עַל משֶׁה וְעַל אַהֲרֹן: ג) וַיָּרֶב הָעָם עִם משֶׁה וַיֹּאמְרוּ לֵאמֹר וְלוּ גָוַעְנוּ בִּגְוַע אַחֵינוּ לִפְנֵי הָשֵׁם: (ד) וְלָמָה הֲבֵאתֶם אֶת קְהַל הָשֵׁם אֶל הַמִּדְבָּר הַזֶּה לָמוּת שָׁם אֲנַחְנוּ וּבְעִירֵנוּ: 

“Then the children of Israel, with the whole congregation, to the desert of Tzin, on the first of the month: and the people dwelled in Kadesh.” Miriam died there and was buried there, and there was no water for the congregation. They then assembled against Moshe and Aharon. The people quarreled with Moshe saying, ‘If only we had perished when our brothers perished before Hashem.’  Why have you brought Hashem’s congregation into this wilderness for us and our animals to die there?” (Bamidbar 20:1-2).

The Talmud asks why the lack of water is mentioned immediately after Miriam’s death. Rabbi Yossi answers that of the three miraculous gifts in the wilderness, the well was in the merit of Miriam. When Miriam died, the well subsided, as it is written: “Miriam died there.” This is followed by, “Then there was no water for the congregation” (Babylonian Talmud Ta’anit 9a). This is to teach us, that during the entire forty years, the Jewish people were blessed with the well of water in Miriam’s merit (Rashi, Bamidbar 20:2). Only after Miriam’s passing was it discovered that the well was in her merit. For more than 38 years, the Well of Miriam accompanied the Israelites’ desert wandering, without Miriam ever receiving the slightest credit, or gratitude for it from any of the Israelites. The water that the people had enjoyed all these years was due to the merit of Miriam who had stood by watching what would happen to her infant brother when he was in a basket in the reeds at the edge of the river (Shemot 2:4). G-d rewarded her for that act of kindness by making her the water provider for Moshe’s people. The people didn’t appreciate this until the well ceased with Miriam’s death (Rabbeinu Bachaya, Bamidbar 20:2).

The Concealed Well of Miriam

The first time we hear about Miriam’s Well is in Refidim, when Hashem tells Moshe to hit a certain rock that would spring forth water. That was the well of Miriam (Shemot 17:1-7). “This rock at Refidim was the same rock we encountered almost 40 years later at Kadesh. This was also the source of the well of Miriam which traveled with the Israelites through the desert during all those years” (Rabbeunu Bachaya, Shemot 17:6). On the surface it seemed that Moshe brought the well as he was the one who hit the rock that gushed forth water. No one had any idea that the well was in the merit of Miriam until she died. We also don’t hear a word of Miriam taking credit for the well. She modestly concealed her greatness, allowing her brothers to stand in the limelight. With a soft motherly caress, she sweetened Israelites’ bitterness and provided sweet waters.

Sweetening the Bitterness of Doubt with Waters of Emunah
The thirst for water caused Israel to doubt Hashem: “Is Hashem among us or not?” (Shemot 17:7). The consequence of this heresy appears in the following Torah verse: “Amalek came and fought with Israel in Refidim” (Shemot 17:8). Amalek is the exterior reflection of the piercing doubt in their heart, as the gematria of עֲמָלֵק/Amalek = סָפֵק/safek – ‘doubt.’ The inner conquest over doubting Hashem happened when the people drank from Miriam’s well: …Before they drank from the well, what did they say? “Is Hashem among us or not?” (Shemot 17:7). After they drank, they said, “All that Hashem spoke we will do and we will hear” (Shemot 24:7); (Midrash (Shocher Tov), Tehillim 5). מִרְיָם /Miriam strengthened the people against doubt and Amalek as the gematria of both the first part of her name and Amalek is מר/mar – ‘bitter.’ Miriam’s well not only satiated the Israelites’ thirst but moreover, provided them with the spiritual nutrients of emunah, which sweetened their spiritual bitterness. After Egypt had imbittered their lives for so long, the Israelites needed Miriam to soothe their pain. Sweetening and soothing the pain is exactly the job of Puah to soothe the crying babies. Puah: This was Miriam, [called Puah] because she cried (פּוֹעָה/poah), talked and cooed to the newborn infant in the manner of women who soothe a crying infant (Rashi, Shemot 1:15). Miriam was the spiritual midwife who appeased and soothed the people newborn from the womb of Egypt.

Where is Miriam’s Well Today?
Parashat Chukat teaches us that Miriam’s well provides faithful nourishment even to this day.

ספר במדבר פרק כא פסוק יח בְּאֵר חֲפָרוּהָ שָׂרִים כָּרוּהָ נְדִיבֵי הָעָם בִּמְחֹקֵק בְּמִשְׁעֲנֹתָם וּמִמִּדְבָּר מַתָּנָה: (יט) וּמִמַּתָּנָה נַחֲלִיאֵל וּמִנַּחֲלִיאֵל בָּמוֹת: (כ) וּמִבָּמוֹת הַגַּיְא אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׂדֵה מוֹאָב רֹאשׁ הַפִּסְגָּה וְנִשְׁקָפָה עַל פְּנֵי הַיְשִׁימֹן:

“A well dug by princes, carved out by nobles of the people, through the lawgiver with their staffs, and from the desert, a gift. From the gift to the streams, and from the streams to the heights. From the heights to the valley in the field of Moav, at the top of the peak, that overlooks הַיְשִׁימֹן/hayeshimon – ‘the wastelands’” (Bamidbar 21:18-20).

Although Miriam’s name is not mentioned, our sages explain that the well described here is the well of Miriam. Just as she didn’t receive credit for the well while being alive, so did the Israelites praise Hashem for the well, without mentioning her name. Rather they attributed the well to the princes referring to Moshe and Aharon (Rashi, Bamidbar 12:18 based on the Midrash). Describing the healing properties of Miriam’s well, the following midrash also confirms that the well dug by the princes indeed is the Well of Miriam. It happened that someone who suffered from boils went down to immerse himself in the waters of Tiberias. It was a favorable time, and he saw Miriam’s well, washed in it, and was healed. Where is the well of Miriam? Rabbi Chia bar Abba said, it states, “Look down on the face of Yeshimon” (Bamidbar 21:20). Whoever ascends the mountain of Yeshimon and sees something like a small sieve in the lake of Tiberias, this is the well of Miriam… (Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 22:4). Even in our day and age, “some have a tradition to draw water Motzei Shabbat because Miriam’s well supplies all the wells each Saturday night, and one who does so and drinks will be cured of illness” (Kol Bo, Orach Chaim, 299:10). Miriam’s well is said to feed the waters of Israel’s most important water reserve nowadays, the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee), while hidden in its depths. Rabbi Chiya said, Miriam’s well is a type of sieve located in the Mediterranean Sea. Rav said, Miriam’s well is mobile and pure (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 35a).

Keeping the Spirit of Israel Alive Through Maintaining Miriam’s Well

The fact that Miriam’s well is mobile and changes location teaches us that Miriam’s power enlightens everywhere. Miriam is herself the well that gives water. She strengthens “those who sow with tears,” in bitterness to “reap in ringing song.” Believing in the Master of the Universe and continuing to sow – is the power of Miriam (Rav Nir Minussi, Mi Zot Olah, p.217). The well of Miriam is implanted within the people of Israel through the righteous women of all generations. This is the basic inner power of the people, hidden within the daughters of Israel who are greatest in their emunah and greatest in their power to endure. They do not break but continue and build the coming generations and the chain of generations of the Jewish people. Just as Miriam embodied the character trait of kindness, when as a young midwife, she kept the babies alive and supplied them with food (Shemot 1:17; Sotah 11b), so did the well supply the Jewish people with all their needs. Thus, in the merit of Miriam, the well sustained the Jewish people with water in the wilderness. Water symbolizes life, since nothing can grow without water. The nurturing quality of water associated with Miriam is a feminine quality. Women keep the Jewish people alive. Without the perpetual kindness of women pouring out like a bottomless well, nothing would be able to be conceived, born, or kept alive (Chana Bracha Siegelbaum, Women at the Crossroads, Parashat Chukat, p. 145). Let us keep Miriam’s Well of emunah flowing! 

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Chukat –

Some Tips for Cultivating Gratitude During Hardships

Humans are unique creatures, who often only fully appreciate what we have once it’s gone. We take things for granted and only understand their value once we lose them. We start to value things only when we experience the pain of losing someone or something, and then we realize their worth. “People can get so self-absorbed chasing their desires that they take the special people in their life for granted. This reality hits hard when a person passes on because the opportunity to love and appreciate is over then. Nothing can be done anymore. The guilty feelings and thoughts of ‘could’ve and should’ve’ take hold. In losing someone all the trivial barriers held against the person dissolve and become meaningless. We are reminded of death as the great equalizer. The illusion of conflict is over, and the ego is left with nothing to fight against. Truth is finally allowed to flow. You see the person as they really are…. far bigger than the petty issues your ego led you to fixate on” (Mandy Wessen).

• Work on Valuing Yourself – To genuinely respect and appreciate others, you must first value yourself enough to respect and appreciate who you are. This is because your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. To change your experiences, you must start by changing your personal beliefs and attitudes to align with what you wish to experience.

• Remind Yourself to be Grateful – take just a little bit of time to remind yourself to appreciate all the people and things we may take for granted without valuing them properly. Send them thoughts of appreciation regularly, preferably daily, for example, your health. You definitely appreciate being in good health while you have it. The more you value it the more you will be able to keep it. 

• Take an Object (Anything You Choose) – associate it with being grateful for being healthy and place it somewhere you see it every morning.
  
  
• Write in Your Gratitude Notebook “I am grateful to be happy” – I recommend at least ten times. In addition, if you have ten things in mind that you are grateful for, perhaps you can write about one of these things each day.
  
  
• Make an ‘I am grateful to be happy’ Poster – Post it somewhere you see it every morning like your mirror, put it on your cellphone or next to it the night before, and put it on a door you open at the time you want to exercise your gratitude.
  
  
• Set an Alarm on Your Cellphone – with a push-through message – to the time you want to be reminded to pay attention to the people you are grateful for in your life. 

How Can We Not Appreciate Belonging to a People Imbued with Laws of Morality?

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Parashat Acharei Mot 
How Can We Not Appreciate Belonging to a People Imbued with Laws of Morality?  

Why Would I be Thankful for Having Grown Up with Immodesty?

I am grateful that I grew up in a sexually permissive and perverted society. Denmark has traditionally been characterized as progressive and liberal in terms of attitudes regarding sexuality. Denmark boasts a liberal stance on public nudity, rooted in its longstanding tradition of promoting individual freedom. Unlike many countries where public nudity might be confined strictly to designated areas, in Denmark, it’s generally legal to be nude on most public beaches. This means no one needs to find a specific ‘nudist’ or ‘naturist’ beach to sunbathe or swim without clothing. In addition, certain areas are specially designated for naturists, to provide a sense of community for those looking to engage with fellow naturists.You may wonder why, in the world, I would be happy, let alone grateful, for my exposure to such blatant immodesty. You did read right, I AM thankful for having experienced such decadence, which has heightened my awareness of the importance of modesty. Maharal teaches that a matter develops through its opposite. Therefore, at the beginning of our nationhood, Hashem brought us to live specifically within the two most perverse nations:Egypt and Canaan. In contrast to the degree of their sexual depravity, the Israelites would turn out all the more refined and chaste. (Gevurat Hashem Chapter 4). So, I’m thankful for having experienced such darkness that aroused within me the greatest desire for light. While I used to believe the naturists’ claim to be free to be themselves without inhibitions, when I embraced the Torah lifestyle it became clear that being a naturist and allowing oneself to follow nature’s call without inhibitions is no different from acting the way of the natural animals. Hashem imbued humans with the ability to overcome our natural instincts including various sexual urges, as Pirkei Avot 4:1 teaches, Who is mighty? He who subdues his [natural] inclination, as it states, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that captures a city” (Mishlei 16:32).

 Why am I Proud to no Longer be a Danish Citizen?

At the end of Parashat Acharei Mot Hashem warns the Israelites to distance themselves from the immoral practices of Egypt and Canaan:

ספר ויקרא פרק יח פסוק ב דַּבֵּר אֶל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם אֲנִי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם: (ג) כְּמַעֲשֵׂה אֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם אֲשֶׁר יְשַׁבְתֶּם בָּהּ לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ וּכְמַעֲשֵׂה אֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי מֵבִיא אֶתְכֶם שָׁמָּה לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ וּבְחֻקֹּתֵיהֶם לֹא תֵלֵכוּ: 

(ד) אֶת מִשְׁפָּטַי תַּעֲשׂוּ וְאֶת חֻקֹּתַי תִּשְׁמְרוּ לָלֶכֶת בָּהֶם אֲנִי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם:

“Speak to the people of Israel, and say to them, I am Hashem your G-d. Do not behave like the people of the land of Egypt where you dwelt, and do not do, like the deeds of the land of Canaan. You shall fulfill My laws and observe My statutes, to follow them. I am Hashem, your G-d” (Vayikra 18:2-4).

 

This verse informs us that the deeds of the Egyptians and the Canaanites were more corrupt than those of all other nations and that the Egyptians residing in that region where the Israelites had dwelt, were the most corrupt of all. The same verse also informs us that those Canaanite peoples that the Israelites conquered, were more corrupt than any other people (Rashi, Vayikra 18:3) based on Torat Kohanim 18:138).

                                                                                                                                                                      

Why does our paragraph state twice, “I am Hashem your G-d?” The Midrash explains: “I am G-d – twice – I am the one who punished the generation of the flood, Sodom and Egypt. I will in the future punish those who act like them” (Vayikra Rabbah 23:9). According to Midrash Bereishit Rabbah 26:5, “The generation of the flood were not eradicated from this world until they had established marriage contracts between two men and between man and beast.” The commentary of Mararzo explains, “They erred in their defective minds and thought that since they were created with powerful lusts, they were obliged to follow their desires in whatever direction it would take them… Thus, they established marriage contracts between two men, and their judges legitimized them.” The fact that Denmark was the first country in the world to legally recognize same-sex partnerships is commonly referred to as indicative of its ‘progressive’ and ‘liberal’ attitudes regarding sexuality. Surveys also show that the approval of homosexuality has increased significantly in the last three decades. Yet, according to the teachings of our Sages, this kind of progressivity and liberality is no other than the immorality that brought about the destruction of the world during the Flood. So, even if I must wait in longer lines at airport security when I visit my mom and sister, I’m proud that I’m no longer a Danish citizen. 
 

Reversing Immorality Through Modesty

“Separate yourselves from sexual immorality and sin, for wherever we find a barrier against sexual immorality, we find holiness (Rashi, Vayikra 19:1). Pardes Yosef instructs us, “If you don’t know how to behave, look at the practices of Egypt and Canaan and do the opposite.”Having been rebellious from early childhood, I’m in the good company of Miriam the Prophetess, whose name derives from the word מֶרִי/meri ‘rebellion.’ Today there is no lack of decadent countries – from where many of us originate – whose practices we can reverse. I’m grateful that I have learned from my country of origin to be a staunch advocate of modesty, through kabbalistic lenses. I teach my students that we cover our bodies to reveal the light of our souls. The more holiness, the more covering is required (Rav Eliyahu Kitov, Ish U’Beito). Just as in the Synagogue the most sacred Torah scrolls are not only concealed within a wooden ark but moreover enveloped in a beautiful velvet embroidered cover, so does the holiness of the Jewish woman require her to cover most of her body. Sexuality specifically between husband and wife (as opposed to two husbands or two wives) is likewise sacred. In the Holy of Holies of the Temple, where only the Kohen Gadol could enter once a year, the two Keruvim – cherubs, male and female – embraced and engaged in intimacy manifestingthe holiness of marital relations that reflect Israel’s relationship with Hashem. Likewise, the Holy of Holies is referred to as Cheder Hamitot or ‘bedroom chamber’ (Rashi, II Melachim 11:2). This highlights the metaphoric relationship between Gd and His people as that of bride and groom by referring to the Holy of Holies as the master bedroom!

 

The Light of Israel Emerges from the Darkest Darkness 

Surprisingly, the nation of Canaan became the most corrupt specifically because they dwelled in the Land of Israel. The reason for that seems to be that the Sitra Achra (side of impurity)desires to cleave to kedusha to nurse from it. Therefore, the Sitra Acha attaches itself specifically to the place where Israel dwells. Since it is unable to attach itself to Israel at all, due to our holiness, it cleaves to the nations amid whom Israel dwells. These nations learn a few mitzvot and good deeds from Israel through which they require a tinge of holiness. Then the Sitra Achra dwells upon these nations, and through this they become the most corrupt in the world (Pardes Yosef, Vayikra 18:3). This explains why Israel dwells amid the evilestnations in the world like a lamb among wolves. From Bat Ayin we can hear their many prayers through the broadcastings of their minarets. This testifies to how they have a few mitzvot learned from Israel such as praying to Allah the uppermost only G-d. Through this, they attract the forces of impurity that entice these nations to become the most evil of all – the real obstacle to peace. The eyes of Mosab Hassan Yousef, the son of Hamas founder Sheikh Hassan Yousef, were opened to the darkness in which he was raised, and of all people, he began working for the Mossad and saved thousands of Jewish lives. Through the October 7th atrocities, our national Jewish Neshama has been revived, as Maharal taught us, “A matter arises through its opposite.” This principle is reflected by the beautiful emunah-filled finalwords of Israel’s assumedly secular Eurovision entry, “We don’t need big words, only tefilot, even if it’s hard to see, You always leave me a small light!” 

          Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Acharei Mot –

Some Tips for How to Strengthen Gratitude for Modesty

  Modesty is moderating exposing and expressing your endowments. Modesty is humble and empathic rather than flashing and flaunting. Unfortunately, we live in a world of exhibitionism where showing off has become a necessary part and parcel of most people’s daily lives. Yet, thankfulness is manifested in the state of self-transcendence. It is an awareness that inspires us to pursue our daily life experiences with expressions of contentment, modesty, appreciation, and joyfulness.

• Accept Hardships as Opportunities for Growth – I truly believe that someone who wants to find the truth will find it. By Hashem’s providence, every hardship we must undergo is placed before us for a reason. They helped me realize that I needed to change, and I am thankful for the time and opportunity to learn to strengthen my modesty Keep Learning Torah – The world (now more than ever) is telling us to wear short shorts and rock the swimsuit. The body positivity movement has completely taken the fashion industry by storm and is telling us that showing skin equals confidence and beauty. But truly, Torah-modesty standards tell us the opposite! Through Torah study we learn to be humbly adorned, and that our beauty will shine through our actions. It doesn’t mean we can’t feel good in our own skin, but I’m thankful that I don’t need to show everything off to feel so! 

• Ask for Help from an Accountability Partner – Whether this is a spouse, a parent, or a good friend, having someone you trust check your outfit before you leave the house is wise. If they say what you don’t want to hear, let it be a lesson learned, and be grateful for their truth rather than holding a grudge against them for telling you what you asked them.

• Set Modesty Boundaries – This takes some training and sometimes re-programming of the brain. If a garment is snug on top or falls short, leave it out. Ask yourself whether you would feel it was appropriate if an attractive woman wore this in front of your husband. Be thankful for the ability to take responsibility to do your part in not causing others to stumble. 

• Turn Inward in Prayer – Through crying out to Hashem in heartfelt prayer, you can learn to turn inward and discover the hidden light in the world and in your soul.