Realigning Ourselves with Ourselves

Praying in the forest at Bat Ayin

This Parasha Meditation is about realigning ourselves with ourselves in preparation for receiving the Torah. The quality of the midbar (desert) is the most suitable place for this process. If we are unable to physically get to the desert, we can still connect with the essential quality of the desert, by meditating and by making ourselves like a desert weeding out superfluous matters, which do not bring us closer to our purpose in life. 
The time prior to Shavuot is the time for this contemplation of realigning ourselves with our true mission in life. I have designed the following meditation to assist all of us in this realigning process. I hope we will take the opportunity that the peaceful Shabbat affords to practice this meditation and in this way prepare ourselves to become a suitable vessel for receiving the Torah.

Shabbat Shalom!
May we merit aligning ourselves to become the perfect vessel for Hashem’s Torah to flow through us!
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

Read Rebbetzin's commentary to Haftorat Bamidbar - Hashem's Eternal Bond to Us

Parasha Meditation Bamidbar
Bamidbar 1:1-4:20

Printable Version

Introduction: 
Realigning Ourselves with Our Fellow Jews and the Torah
On the Shabbat preceding Shavuot the Jews of the Diaspora reconnect with Israel in the Parasha reading. In the spirit of Shavuot, we always begin the Book of Bamidbar together in unison prior to receiving the Torah. In Parashat Bamidar the position of the twelve tribes surrounding the Holy Ark with the Torah is delineated.[1] We all need to realign our position in relationship with our fellow Jews and with our holy Torah in preparation for receiving the Torah on Shavuot; keeping in mind that the Torah must always remain the center of our lives.

Giving the Torah in No-Man’s-Land
Hashem chose Mount Sinai to be the place for giving the Torah, because it humbled itself saying: “I am lowly.” Therefore, Hashem elevated this mountain by giving the Torah upon it.[2] This teaches us that the only way to receive the Torah is through humility, symbolized by the lowly Mount Sinai. Entering the bare wilderness without even trees and flowers engenders humility. Experiencing the simplicity of nothingness, but infinite sand reflected in our psyche, washes away our extraneous attachments and arrogance. It was fitting that the Giving of the Torah took place in no-man’s-land amidst the stark desolation of the Wilderness. Likewise, no-one can take ownership on the Torah. Unlike the Crown of Kingdom, and Kehuna (Priesthood),[3] the Crown of Torah is free for all to take. It enters the open hearts of those who are not too full of themselves to make a space for the Torah to enter.

The Wilderness Speaks
הָמִדְבַּר מְדַבֵּר – Hamidbar medaber – The wilderness speaks – When we enter the vast open empty space of the wilderness, we are able to hear the sound of silence. Without the humdrum distractions of technical devices, mundane chores that need to get done, the constant background noises of cars driving by, we can turn inwardly to the Divine voice within. We can re-evaluate who we really are and learn to live more meaningful lives. When we tune into ourselves we may become aware of some of the deeper processes we are going through which we often repress through overeating and “workcoholism.” Perhaps some of the things we spend a lot of time doing is only an illusionary way to gain self-worth. We may serve ourselves and world better by becoming aware of our lack of self-worth, and work on letting go of the negative messages certain childhood experiences may have programmed us to send ourselves. Then we can devote our lives to pursue that which is real essential and weed out the extra unessential matters that crowd our daily day and distract us from fulfilling our mission. Personally I’m working on clearing my life from excessive emailing. Sometimes we just keep writing back and forth automatically without really relaying any important message. You know how you often feel like you need to respond again although the conversation has already been completed. Not every email needs a response. I have learned that I’m OK even if I don’t always get the last word.

Reconnecting with our Purpose in Life
Netivat Shalom explains that the parasha preceding receiving the Torah describes the flags of each tribe in order to reconnect each of us with our particular mission and purpose in life. “Hashem arranged flags for Israel with great endearment similar to those of the ministering angels, in order that they would be recognized.”[4] Just as flags are used to unify each population according to their particular nation, so does each of us have our own particular purpose in life. We were sent into this world in order to fulfill this mission. The importance of each of us is further highlighted by the counting of the Israelites that took place in the wilderness. Each Jew is a “small world” with his own number and name designated for his specific purpose in life. Since there is nothing more important than fulfilling our mission, unfortunately, the yetzer hara (negative inclination) especially try to blur our mission and confuse us to believe that we don’t have any special purpose in life. Therefore prior to receiving the Torah, we read: “Every person from the children of Israel shall camp according to his own flag, with the signs of his father’s house.”[5] Each Jew has his own camp and flag – his own special purpose to fulfill in life. Recognizing our personal mission prepares us for receiving the Torah.

Giving Birth To Ourselves
In this week’s Parasha, the Israelites are counted. The word described for how each person presented himself before Moshe prior to the census is unusual:

וְאֵת כָּל הָעֵדָה הִקְהִילוּ בְּאֶחָד לַחֹדֶשׁ הַשֵּׁנִי וַיִּתְיַלְדוּ עַל מִשְׁפְּחֹתָם לְבֵית אֲבֹתָם בְּמִסְפַּר שֵׁמוֹת מִבֶּן עֶשְׂרִים שָׁנָה וָמַעְלָה לְגֻלְגְּלֹתָם

 (ספר במדבר פרק א:יח)

“The entire congregation assembled together on the first day of the second month, (וַיִּתְיַלְדוּ – veyitvaldu), and they declared their pedigrees after their families, by their fathers’ houses, according to the number of names, from twenty years old and upward, by their polls.”[6]

Rabbi Yisroel Sisskind notices the special meaning of the word the word (וַיִּתְיַלְדוּ – veyitvaldu), which appears only once in all of the Tanach (Pentateuch). Literally this word means that the Israelites gave birth to themselves. Yet, Rashi explains that “they accounted for and gave bona fides for their genealogical descent, thereby proving their right to claim membership in a particular tribe.”[7] Rabbi Sisskind asks, why use such a unique form of the verb “to give birth to oneself” as a way of saying “they presented their family records”? It is possible that by researching our family tree and realigning ourselves with our ancestors we can become aware of our source and who we really are. This is similar to giving birth to ourselves. May we all merit to give birth to our true selves and reconnect with our particular portion in Torah!


Meditation:
If possible, it is beneficial to practice this meditation in nature, optimally in the actual desert. Yet, make yourself comfortable wherever you are whether on your cushion or chair, or in the sand. Close your eyes and take several very deep breaths.

1. Try to empty yourself completely with every exhalation. Allow all the background noise to pass through you, and imagine now that you are walking in the wilderness.

2. All around you is only sand and bare mountains. You are all alone as you face the emptiness of the void. Allow this emptiness and space to enter into you. Become aware of all the superfluous items you are holding on to.

3. Imagining digging a deep hole, deeper and deeper, big enough to bury everything you no longer have any use for. You may enter into this imaginary hole anything you don’t need, be it physical, emotional or spiritual.

4. Make sure you enter all of your arrogance into this hole. Notice how liberated you feel without it. Imagine emptying your heart from resentment, jealousy, anger and hatred.

5. Place your hands near your heart without touching and feel the warmth emanating from it. Your heart is now ready to be reborn and infused with the holiness of Torah.

6. Imagine the smallest letter of י – yud inside of your heart. This is the letter of wisdom and beginning. Following the yud, appears the ל – lamed, which means teaching. Hashem’s Torah teachings enter you, as you are reborn. Now visualize how the lamed extending itself to give its teaching over to the letter ד – dalet, which is turning its back as it receives lamed’s teachings. This symbolizes how children turn away from their parents, as they receive their teachings, in order to forge their own personal path.

7. Dalet can also mean a door. Imagine the door of your heart opening, and through it walks your mother and father, they each give you a gift. Behind your parents their mother and father walk in with a special gift for you. Behind each of your grandparents, all your four sets of great grandparents walk through the door, each with a gift for you.

8. Keep visualizing all their mothers and fathers for as far back as you are able to imagine. Try to fathom the infinite mothers and fathers it took to create you, with your particular gifts, talents and character-traits. Feel thankful and centered in yourself and enjoy the gift of being you! Whenever you are ready you may open your eyes and face the world.


Notes:
Shavuot is called in the Torah “Day of the First Fruits.”[8] This is a time when the fruits are beginning to ripen on the trees in Eretz Yisrael. Likewise, at this time, after having matured emotionally and spiritually through the counting of the Omer, we ripen into what we are meant to be, becoming reborn as who we really are.

[1] Bamidbar 2:2.
[2] Midrash Rabah, Bamidbar 13:3.
[3] The Kingdom is inherited from the house of David, and Kehuna from Aharon the Kohen.
[4] Midrash Rabah, Bamidbar, 2:3.
[5] Bamidbar 2:2.
[6] Bamidbar 1:18.
[7] Rashi, ibid.
[8] Bamidbar 28:26.

Receiving Torah by Tuning into the Soul of the Land

Beautiful day in Bat Ayin

It is so exciting that today, after having returned to the Land of Israel, we can finally keep some of the laws of the Land described in our weekly Torah portion, Behar. Just as it is said, “More than Israel has kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept Israel” likewise we can say, “More than the Land of Israel has kept the sabbatical year (Shemitah), the sabbatical year has kept the Land of Israel.” 

Actually, all our exiles, and our losses or victories in the land of Israel, took place the year following Shemitah year. For example, the victory of the Six Day War, which we will soon celebrate, took place in the year 5727, following the Shemitah year in 5726. Keeping the laws of the Land makes us worthy to deserve the Land of Israel. It is not by chance that we read Parashat Behar in proximity to the festival of Shavuot. Through keeping the mitzvot of Shemitah, we strengthen our faith and trust in Hashem, and engender unity among all of the Jewish people. In this way, we become similar to the Jewish people at Mount Sinai who received the Torah in unison. 

In this meditation, I will further clarify the connection between keeping Shemitah and receiving the Torah. 

With Blessings of the Torah and the Land
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum 

Read Rebbetzin's commentary to Haftorat Behar: "Redeeming the Land – The Extension of Our Soul"

Parasha Meditation Behar
Vayikra 25:1-26:2

Printable Version

Introduction:
Parashat Behar is all about emunah. Taking one day a week off from work in order to celebrate Shabbat and demonstrate our belief in Hashem, the Creator of the world, cannot compare to implementing our faith, by taking off an entire year from working the land. Keep in mind that essentially and historically, Israel is an agrarian society. For some people it may be difficult to relate to the concepts of the Sabbatical year (Shemitah) mentioned in this week’s parasha. If you live in NY, LA or Chicago etc., the only practical implications of the laws of Shemitah is to ensure that vegetables and fruits purchased from Israel have proper kashruth (kosher) certification. Those of us who live on the Land are fortunate enough to get a taste of the emunah that the Shemitah year instills.

Relinquishing Ownership to the Land
The concept of Shemitah teaches us that we never really have ownership to the land, which essentially belongs only to Hashem. This is why it states, “…then the land shall keep a Shabbat to Hashem.”[1] We, the Jewish people, are not in the center here, but rather the land has its own will and connection to Hashem. Even if I paid a lot of money, weeded all the thorns, worked myself to a sweat turning the earth, added compost, and planted delicious grapes, as soon as the Shemitah year arrives, I am reminded how everything belongs Hashem. “…For the Land is Mine, and you are strangers and settlers with Me.”[2]

My First Shemitah Experience
I experienced this during my first Shemitah year on the land, when I looked out of my window one Thursday afternoon, and discovered to my dismay that my neighbor was helping himself to the most succulent grapes in my garden. I had planned to pick these grapes on Friday, to serve them fresh for my family and guests for Shabbat. My first instinct was to stop him, exclaiming, “What are you doing? These are my grapes!” Then the deeper realization of Shemitah kicked in. Really, whose grapes are they after all? Whose land is it anyway? It took some processing before I realized that all my hard work on the land was really not just for myself but actually for Hashem. He gives this land to all of the Jewish people to share and live in unison and harmony upon it, as it states: “The Shabbat produce of the land shall be food for all of you, for you, for your servant, and for your maid, and for your hired servant, and for your stranger that sojourns with you…”[3]

Unity Connects the Laws of the Land with Receiving the Torah
Parashat Behar opens by mentioning that the Laws of the Land were “spoken to Moshe on Mount Sinai.”[4] Rashi asks, “What is the connection between Shemitah and Mount Sinai? Behold, all the mitzvot were given at Sinai [but the Torah didn’t mention Mount Sinai in connection with any of the other mitzvot]. Linking the laws of Shemitah with receiving the Torah on Mount Sinai, teaches us that the Torah does not separate between religion and the social relationships of daily living, through which we implement the general principles of Torah into the details of our lives. Moreover, the laws of Shemitah engender unity among the Jewish people, which is essential in order to be worthy of receiving the Torah. Likewise, prior to receiving the Torah, the Jewish people encamped on the mountain in unison, “as one person with one heart.”[5]

Ultimate Declaration of Faith
Israel expressed their ultimate declaration of faith when they readily accepted the Torah with the exclamation, “We will do and we will hear.”[6] Keeping the laws of Shemitah likewise requires sublime faith believing firmly that even when we abstain from work, according to G*d’s mitzvot, Hashem will take care of us. Through keeping the Laws of the Land, we ingrain within our entire being that only G*d gives us the strength to accomplish anything in the world, rather than thinking that “My power and the might of my hand has gotten me all this wealth.”[7]

Freedom from Slavery
At the end of seven cycles of the seven-year Shemitah cycle, we “proclaim liberty to the land,” through the same shofar that vibrated at the revelation at Sinai.[8] During this jubilee year (Yovel), all the slaves go free, and every person returns to his original land and family. This way, by refraining from selling out the land and ourselves as perpetual slaves, we experience how both we and the land belong to no-one but Hashem.[9] Shemitah and Yovel thus teach us to return to our essential selves, and let go equally of our attachments to ownership, and to being enslaved by others.

Meditation:
Now it is time to relax and allow yourself to let go. Make yourself comfortable in your space. Breathe slowly and relax even more.

1. Visualize an imaginary “Shofar of Freedom” and prepare yourself to blow it as you inhale, and imagine yourself blowing the shofar with every exhalation. The sound of this shofar will allow you to relinquish ownership to that which is not part of your essential being.

2. Inhale and imagine your home, and if applicable, your garden. Exhale, blowing your imaginary shofar into your garden if you have one, and then repeat, blowing into your home, relinquishing all your attachments, and making Hashem King over your garden and home.

3. Repeat this sequence of breathing, blowing the shofar, and crowning Hashem over any particular possession of your choice, as many times as you would like.

4. Now move to your body. Blow the “Shofar of Freedom” into your forehead, crowning Hashem there. Let your shofar crown Hashem over your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, cheeks, and the back of your head, neck, and shoulders.

5. Make Hashem King over your arms and hands as you blow the breath of life into each of them. Crown Hashem over your lungs, heart and diaphragm, allowing the shofar to cleanse away all the blockages you may be holding onto there.

6. Continue crowning Hashem while blowing your shofar into your small intestine, belly and colon, purifying them and making Hashem King over them. Blow your shofar into your liver, spleen and kidneys, while crowning Hashem.

7. Finally, bring the liberating sound of the shofar into your thighs, knees, calves and feet, making Hashem King over your entire being and everything you own. Keep breathing and enjoy the new freedom from attachments you experience, coming closer to your essential self.

Notes:
Shemitah comes to heal the land and give us a taste of the Garden of Eden, where there was no ownership or possession. Likewise, during the Sabbatical year, all the fruits of the trees become ownerless, belonging equally to all. By eating from the Tree of Knowledge, Adam and Chava seized ownership and breached their idyllic relationship with the land. As a consequence, the land was cursed, as it states: “Cursed is the earth because of you… in the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground…”[10] Instead of living in harmony with nature, receiving sustenance directly from Hashem’s giving hand, humanity became enslaved to labor, in order to make the land yield its produce. However, during every Shemitah year, the land gradually heals, as we learn that we are neither enslaved to working the land, nor its owner and master. Shemitah teaches us that we are just custodians, enjoying the privilege to be able to dwell in Hashem’s Holy Land.[11]

[1] Vayikra 25:2.
[2] Vayikra 25:23.
[3] Vayikra 25:6.
[4] Vayikra 25:1.
[5] Rashi, Shemot 19:2, learns this from the fact that the Hebrew word for “encamped” is written in singular language.
[6] Shemot 19:8.
[7] Devarim 8:17.
[8] Vayikra 25:9-10, compare with Shemot 19:19.
[9] See this week’s parasha, Vayikra 25:28-55.
[10] Bereishit 3:17-18.
[11] See Avraham Arieh Trugman’s beautiful article on Parashat Behar in his Orchard of Delight.

Healing Emotions through Speech

Special B'erot Bonfire

 I’m working on channeling the healing energy of Iyar through my EmunaHealing workshops. It’s amazing to experience the overwhelming interest in Jewish energy healing. I’m excited that this week’s parasha “Emor” – “Say” inspired me to answer a question of one my online students, who requested that I elaborate on how we heal our emotions through speech.

With Blessings of the Torah and the Land
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

Read Rebbetzin's commentary to Haftorat Emor - "The Power of Challah" 

Parasha Meditation Emor
Vayikra 21:1-24:23

Printable Version

Introduction
How do we heal our Emotions through Speech?
This week’s parasha is called “Emor” which means “say.” Parashat Emor is juxtaposed to Parashat Kedoshim – “holiness,” because the word “emor” infuses the Kohanim and the Israelites with the superior holiness of keeping the Divine word. One of the students in my recent online EmunaHealing seminar asked the following question: “Please elaborate on what you mentioned, that we have the ability to heal our emotions through speech. How do we do that?”

Speech is Life
Speech is the way we express ourselves as human beings. At our original creation in the Garden of Eden, “G*d blew His living soul into Adam’s nostrils, and he became a living spirit.”[1] The Targum[2] translates “living spirit” as “speaking spirit.” True life and vitality of the human being is expressed specifically through speech.

Holiness, Life & Sanctification of Speech
The connection between ultimate life and speech is alluded to at the beginning of Parashat Emor,[3] which instructs the Kohanim to be extra careful not to become impure, because of their special holy status as servants in G*d’s sanctuary.[4] In the Torah, holiness is linked to life and vitality, as opposed to death and necromancy. This is why Parashat Kedoshim concludes with the prohibition to be a medium for doing witchcraft through the dead,[5] while Parashat Emor opens with the prohibition for the Kohanim to become impure by having contact with the dead. From here, we may conclude that holiness and sanctification of speech is connected with life. This principle is confirmed by the end of Parashat Emor, describing how ultimate misuse of speech results in death. Our parasha goes into length to tell the story of the son of Shelomit bat Dibri who blasphemed and cursed G*d with his speech, and was publically put to death.[6]

Healing Emotions through Speech
Going back to our original question, how to heal emotions through speech, we can now understand that the choice of our words and the way we express ourselves in speech both influences and is an expression of the quality of our vitality. While death is stiff and stagnant, that which is alive flows, moves and changes. Therefore, our emotions, which also are expressions of our life and vitality, are called “e-motions” in English, linking emotions with the motion and movement of life. Kabbalah teaches us that the three main parts of our soul – neshamah, (intellectual soul), ruach, (emotional soul) and nefesh (the most physical soul) – correspond respectively to the three garments of our soul: thought, speech and action.[7] The ruach corresponds to speech, because we express our emotions through speech. Our emotions are also an expression of our vitality. The amount of life that we radiate corresponds to the extent that we are able to express the emotion of love. Anger, jealousy and depression are examples of emotional blockages that block the Divine life-force from manifesting within us. Through speech we have the ability to rectify our emotions, and thus learn to become more and more truly alive. Ramban, in his famous letter,[8] instructs us: “Speak gently at all times.” This will help us overcome negative emotions such as pride and anger. When we always speak gently, without ever raising our voice, it becomes virtually impossible to be angry.

The Connection between Speech and Emunah
In addition to the intonation, our choices of whom to speak with and what to speak about, as well as the words we choose, also have the ability to elevate our emotions. Constantly expressing words of praise for Hashem and appreciation for our fellows help ingrain within us the emotion of gratitude. Gratitude engenders happiness and acceptance, which again raise our spirits, emotions and vitality. David HaMelech (King David) extols: “I have faith for I speak.”[9] Through speaking words of emunah (faith), we have the ability to strengthen the emunah in our hearts. Nachum Ish Gam Zu of the Talmud suffered much in life, but nevertheless he would always respond to every difficulty with: “gam zu letovah – this too is for the good.”[10] By accustoming ourselves to face difficulties with words of faith and acceptance, we gradually build our emunah, happiness, and vitality.

Fire, Water and Air – The Elements of Speech
אמר – “Emor” – the name of his week’s parasha consists of the three letters: א – “alef,” מ –“mem,” and ר –“reish.” These three letters are the acronym for the three main elements: אֵש – aish – fire, מַיִם – mayim – water, and רוּח– ruach – air.[11] These elements are the expression of our emotions. Through “fire” we can either express the negative emotion of anger, or elevate it into passion and excitement for the Torah. Through “water” we can either be filled with pleasure-seeking, or become calm like the cool soft waves of a lake on a sunny day. The element of “air” can make us nervous, or help us rise upwards, in our yearning to increase spirituality and holiness in our life.

Summary of Practical Tips to Heal our Emotions through Speech
1. Overcome pride and anger by speaking gently without raising your voice.
2. Develop gratitude by expressing words of praise to Hashem and appreciation for people.
3. Whenever you face difficulties accustom yourself to say: “gam zu l’tova” – this too is for the good.
4. Work on making yourself happy by choosing to speak about positive uplifting matters.

Meditation
Make yourself comfortable in your chair or cushion. Close your eyes and become aware of your breath.

1. Your breath is the expression of your ruach – air. Place your hands on your stomach, and note how you can fill your belly with clean fresh air as you inhale, and empty it as you exhale. Repeat this calming breathing several times before moving your hands to your chest.

2. Get in touch with how your chest rises and falls, as you fill it with air through your inhalation and deflate it as you exhale.

3. With your hands on your throat, feel how the air is passing through your esophagus, as you slowly breathe in and out.

4. Repeat the entire sequence of three breaths each to your belly, chest and throat, as you imagine the Hebrew letters that spell the word רוּח – ruach – air. Feel how the entire cavity within you aspires towards spirituality and holiness, as you take in Hashem’s life-giving air.

5. Continue to breathe calmly, as you imagine yourself dipping your feet in the calm sea on a hot summer day. Feel how the soothing, cooling water softens your skin.

6. Allow yourself to truly relax and become enveloped by the calming softness of the gentle waves. You may imagine yourself deliciously floating as all worries and fears melt away. Allow the waters to penetrate any tension you may carry in your body, until each tension dissolves in the sea.

7. Continue imagining yourself calming down in the water, letting go of all your worries, as you visualize the Hebrew letters that spell the word מַיִם – mayim – water.

8. Keep breathing calmly and ease yourself of fears and tensions through the tranquil water, as you imagine the flames of the Shabbat candles. Try to visualize its blue core turning into a yellow, orange and red glow.

9. Allow the radiating flame to etch itself into your heart, burning away the indifferent, lazy, and complacent barrier surrounding your vibrant, beating heart. Take your time to very slowly burn away each part of the blockage, as your imaginary flame touches the circumference of your heart.

10. Visualize the Hebrew letters that spell the word אֵש – aish – fire, as you unearth and get in touch with your inner flame. Allow this flame to fill your entire being with bright, exhilarating, and warming light. As the flame dances within you, imagine yourself dancing with delight, while your entire being is engaged in a particular mitzvah of your choice.

11. Take several deep breaths and notice if you feel more in tune with the elements of your emotions.

Notes
The root אמר appears three times in the opening verse of Parashat Emor: “Hashem said (וַיֹּאמֶר) to Moshe, ‘Say (אֱמֹר) to the Kohanim, the sons of Aharon, and say (וְאָמַרְתָּ) to them…’ [12]

This verse is written in a different style of language than the rest of the Torah. Throughout the Torah and even in the continuation of Parashat Emor, the beginning of every command is written in the following style: “Hashem spoke (וַיְדַבֵּר) – vayedaber – to Moshe saying, (לֵּאמֹר) – l’emor, –“speak”  (דַבֵּר) – daber unto…”[13] Here the root דבר – diber is mentioned twice while the root אמר – amar is mentioned only once. The triple repetition of the word אמר in the opening verse of Parashat Emor may possibly allude to the three elements (fire, water, and air) that we need to elevate through sanctification of life and speech. Both life and speech characterize this week’s parasha, beginning by prohibiting the Kohanim from contact with the dead, and concluding in the defilement of speech by the son of Shelomit bat Dibri. It is also interesting to note that specifically the root אמר is used in the Ten Utterances with which Hashem created the world.[14] Originally, light and life came into being by Hashem’s word אמר. Likewise we have the ability to emulate Hashem and create life with our words. אַבְרָא כְּאַדַבְּרָה – “Abra k’adabra” –“I will create as I speak!”

[1] Bereishit 2:7.
[2] Both Targum Onkelos and Targum Yonatan on Bereishit 2:7.
[3] Vayikra 21:1.
[4] Vayikra 21:7.
[5] Vayikra 20:27.
[6] Vayikra 24:10-16.
[7] See for example, the Rama of Pa’no, Article about the Soul, Part 4, Chapter 4.
[8] Igeret HaRamban, written to his elder son, Nachman, with the instruction to read it weekly.
[9] Tehillim 116:10.
[10] Babylonian Talmud, Ta’anit 21a.
[11] Rav Tzvi Elimelech Shapiro*, Agra d’Kala, page 300/51 and many other Kabbalistic and Chassidic writings. The element of עפר – afar – “earth” consists of a fusion of the main three elements.
[12] Vayikra 21:1.
[13] Vayikra 21:17, I found this style written in the Torah written 41 times.
[14] See chapter one of Bereishit where Hashem created the world in six days through His speech, described by the Hebrew root אמר.

“Love your Fellow as Yourself” by Reconnecting with the Soul of Souls

We have passed the border (מחסום) that separates between exile and redemption. The way is still long, but we are on the other side of the barricade. The period of exile is behind us, and we are stepping on the way to redemption. Even if we are quite far from the peak, still, with the grace of G*d, the main obstacles of the last two thousand years have been removed. 

Now we need to infuse the physical independence in our Land with true love for our people. In order to attain our goal of establishing a Jewish country that reflects the Divine ideal for Israel, we need to learn to truly love one another. 

This meditative practice helps us engender and integrate true love for all the people in our lives!

With Blessings of the Torah and the Land
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

Read Rebbetzin's commentary to Haftorat Acharei Mot/Kedushim: "Connecting through Working the Land"

Parasha Meditation Kedoshim
Vayikra 19:1-20:27

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Introduction:
In Parashat Kedoshim – the parasha that teaches us how to become holy – we learn about the prerequisite to love others, as we love ourselves. True holiness is not just about what we do outwardly, but it is even more about how we feel inwardly. A real holy person has learned to control his feelings, to think only holy thoughts about others, and to feel love and compassion for every creature. To be holy, is to let go of all the big and even small resentments that we may carry with us. Only then will we be able to truly love each other with a full heart as the Torah teaches:

  :לֹא תִקֹּם וְלֹא תִטֹּר אֶת בְּנֵי עַמֶּךָ וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ אֲנִי הָשֵם

“Do not revenge, and do not bear a grudge against the children of your people. Love your fellow as yourself, I am Hashem.”[1]

Learning to Forgive Ourselves
The Torah verse requires us to love our fellow, as we love ourselves. In order to give and receive love, we need to begin by learning to love ourselves. If we don’t have love for ourselves, all our relationships may suffer. It is impossible to fulfill this mitzvah from the Torah, and free ourselves from holding on to grudges, without deep inner spiritual healing work. Many of the women who come to me for EmunaHealing (Spiritual Healing) have difficulty loving themselves. They may be filled with guilt and shame and have a hard time learning to forgive themselves. In order to forgive ourselves we need to go into a meditative state, to get in touch with our guilt and its underlying causes, before we can remove it. The next step is then to work on forgiving others truly with all our hearts, and sending them love. This too, requires the meditative work of spiritual healing.

The Oneness of Love
The gematria (numerical value) of the Hebrew word for “love” – אַהֲבָה – ahava is thirteen. This is the same gematria as the Hebrew word for “one” – אֶחָד – echad. The number thirteen also alludes to the thirteen attributes of mercy.[2] Only when we become one with someone, can we really love that person. This is why the greatest love is between a mother and her baby, as they were one in her womb. To feel love, we need to reveal the aspect with which we unify with our friend.

Receiving Hashem’s Love – the Soul of Our Soul
The body is a vessel for the soul; the soul is a vessel for the Divine. Every Jew has a Divine spark of light and love emanating directly from Hashem. This is the source and power of our love – G*d’s love, which is beyond our reality. Hashem surprises us with endless love, if we only open for Him, even a small opening, to receive.

פתחי לי פתח כחודה של מחט ואני אפתח לכם פתח שיהיו עגלות נכנסים

“Open for Me like the opening of a needle, and I will open for you an opening for wagons to enter.”[3]

Meditation:
Sit comfortably in your chair, close your eyes and take deep breaths several times. Notice anything you may be holding onto, and let go... Connect with the light of Hashem, which always comes down from Above. Our body is continually filled with Hashem’s light and love even when we don’t see it or feel it; we know that we are filled with Hashem’s light.

1. Imagine Hashem’s light filling your head and spreading down your shoulders to the rest of your body. Picture your entire body as a light bulb filled with light.

2. Now try to get in touch with old feelings of guilt and resentment. Did someone ever embarrass or reject you? Did you ever feel a lack of love and consideration from a family member or a close friend? Did you yourself mistreat someone who needed you? Or do you feel guilty about something you’ve done? Tune into any images, words or feelings that come up for you.

Allow yourself to get in touch with any painful feelings that you may have repressed and swept under the rug.

3. Visualize these feelings as dark clouds within you. Try to locate these dark clouds in your body. Are there any in your head, in your throat or perhaps in your heart region?

4. Send Hashem’s light and love to each of the dark clouds within you. Keep breathing into them, one by one, until you feel them evaporate or burst.

5. Think about a person that you feel badly about for whatever reason. Visualize your bad feelings/resentments/grudges as dark clouds within you, within the other person, or on an imaginary string connecting the two of you.

6. Take Hashem’s light and send it to all of these dark clouds, one by one, until each of them evaporates or bursts. You can repeat this spiritual healing exercise with as many people as you can focus on at any given time. If necessary, you can continue at a different time.

7. Now send Hashem’s light and love to the person towards whom you had resentment. By sending light to someone that you have difficulty with, you have the ability to rectify your relationship with that person.

8. You may also send light to any person close to you. It could be a person you love very much, and who is in need of light and healing. See if you can feel where the person most needs this light from you, and direct your light to that place.

9. Keep sending light as long as you are able, and then wiggle your toes and fingers before opening your eyes. It is wonderful to repeat this meditation daily, opening yourself to receive Hashem’s light and sending it to different people in your life.

Notes:
It is important to send love to everyone, especially to a person with whom we have difficulty relating. A friend of mine once had difficulty relating to one of her neighbors. They had had a dispute over trivialities. She decided to work on this by continually sending her neighbor love and light. One day, her neighbor sent her two challot for Shabbat (Shabbat bread), without there being any special occasion. Isn’t it amazing to experience the power of sending love to someone? It is so great that it can materialize into two Shabbat challot! This proves that sending love and light can overcome tension and difficulties that we may have with another person. This is what King Shlomo alluded to in his Proverbs:

 (ספר משלי פרק כז:יט) “כַּמַּיִם הַפָּנִים לַפָּנִים כֵּן לֵב הָאָדָם לָאָדָם”

“As in water, face answers to face, so the heart of man to man.”[4]

[1] Vayikra 19:18.
[2] The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy or Shelosh-Esreh Midot, enumerated in Shemot 34:6-7, are the attributes with which G*d governs the world.
[3] Yalkut Shimoni, Shir Hashirim, Chapter 5, Allusion 989.
[4] Mishlei 27:19.

Time-out for Self-reflection and Meditation

Parasha Meditation Tazria/Metzorah
Vayikra 12:1-15:33

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Introduction:

Time out at the cliffs in the lower part of Bat Ayin

In Parashat Tazria we learn that a person must spend time in physical seclusion, truly alone during specific periods of his or her life. When we get out of sync, we need this aloneness in order to return physically and spiritually to a balanced state of being, before being ready to return to the community. Parashat Tazria opens with eight verses describing the seclusion and purification period that women were required to go through after giving birth. Although a new mother needs support from her family and community, she also needs time alone to integrate her life-changing experience, and re-emerge into the family and community as a new person.

The Ritual Impurity of Spiritual Disorder and Confusion
The remainder of the parasha describes the period of isolation of the person afflicted with tzara’at – a disease usually translated as leprosy, yet is more accurately translated as psoriasis.[2] This skin disease was only the outward physical symptom of a spiritual disorder or confusion. Rather than going to the doctor, people with symptoms of tzara’at had to turn to the Kohen – the spiritual healer. Only he was able to make the diagnosis of tzara’at, for which the prescribed treatment was immediate isolation. “All the days, during which the plague shall be in him, he shall be טָמֵא – tamé – ritually impure, he is טָמֵא – tamé. He shall dwell alone; outside the camp shall his habitation be.”[3]   

A Time for Silence
Today, even if we don’t experience the physical symptoms of tzara’at, we certainly don’t lack spiritual disorder and confusion. In our day-to-day, social media-infused lives, we interact continually, and often, in auto-pilot mode. When we feel confused, conflicted or in a state of imbalance, then seclusion, silence and time alone can provide an essential part of healing ourselves and our neshamah (soul). It may be helpful to turn to friends and family when we need support; yet, at some point, it will be time to turn inwards for answers. We need to take the time to sit again, to do the inner work that only we can do for ourselves.

Realigning Ourselves with Ourselves In the Torah, those afflicted with physical tzara’at were required to be physically secluded, in order to heal themselves; today, those affected with spiritual tzara’at – confusion, worry and lack of emunah – may benefit from the spiritual seclusion of meditation. Keep in mind that spiritual negativity is contagious. Whenever possible, we would do our community well by taking time out rather than burdening them with our complaints. When we are about to meditate, or during a meditation session, we may reflect over why we have chosen the silence and internal seclusion of meditation at that moment. How does meditation heal and rebalance you?

Meditation:
Meditation takes time. It can be hard to take this time out from all of our responsibilities. Yet, this time can be an offering for inner healing, and can bring more balance to our daily interactions with others, with whom our life is intertwined. Let us take some moments to rebalance ourselves with ourselves, return to our breath and see what arises.

1. Sit comfortably on a chair or cushion, and allow your breath to raise and lower your chest rhythmically. Notice how you are feeling at this moment, paying close attention to the places within you which could be more comfortable.

2. Breathe into your places of pain or discomfort and feel how the tension dissolves. Imagine your breath like a flashlight illuminating the dark parts of your soul. Breathe light into your confused, darkened spirit and experience how the darkness gradually flickers and turns into light.

3. Imagine walking alone through a dark tunnel, grabbing hold of the slippery walls and reaching the light at the end. A tall mountain meets your eye as you emerge from the tunnel. You start climbing the mountain. At first the earth is soft and sandy, and then gradually it turns more rocky and stony. You pass rows of trees with lush green leaves and exquisite spring flowers blooming close to the ground. Notice all their various colors and shapes.

4. Keep climbing up the mountain, while breathing rhythmically. Feel your heart beating as you continue climbing.

5. It seems like you have reached the peak, but each time you think you have reached the top of the mountain, there’s more distance to go. Finally, you see the rocky end of the trail. You reach the top and turn slowly to take in the entire, incredible view.

6. You are alone – בָּדָד – badad and at one with G*d’s creation. Being alone...being alive...feeling the greatest joys.

7. Inhale while visualizing going inward to the sound of בָּ – ba, exhale while visualizing the letters and the sound of דָד – dad. Repeat nine more times, and sit for a minute in silence, experiencing the Oneness of Hashem. Then walk down the mountain and return to yourself.

Notes:
The Hebrew word for alone – בָּדָד – badad, from our Torah verse הוּא בָּדָד יֵשֵׁב – “…He shall dwell alone…”[4] has the numerical value of ten. Ten is the number that indicates the oneness within the multiplicity. Hashem Who is One manifests himself through the Ten Sefirot. Everything within this three-dimensional world has a beginning, an end and a middle. By its widths everything is also divided into three: right, left and middle. Similarly in its depth, it consists of inner, outer and middle. Together the lengths, widths and depth each have three dimensions which makes nine. The tenth dimension gives a space for these nine manifestations to exist.[5] Thus by sitting alone – בָּדָד – badad, we can experience our aloneness as part of the manifestation of Hashem’s oneness expressed through the ten dimensions of בָּדָד – badad.

[1] From the day following the Seder we count the Omer that reflected the barley offering during Temple times. During each of the seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot, when we count the Omer, one of the seven emotional manifestations of Hashem is revealed. The first week during the holiday of Pesach corresponds to Chesed, the second week Gevurah, the third to Tiferet etc.
[2] Cheyne and Black, Encyclopedia Biblica, Shai A, Vardy D, Zvulunov A (2002). [Psoriasis, biblical afflictions and patients' dignity] (in Hebrew). Harefuah 141 (5): 479–82, 496. PMID 12073533.
[3] Vayikra 13:46.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Rabbi Moshe Shatz, Ma’ayan Moshe, page 22.

A Vessel for the Fire of Love and Excitement

Proud Mother!

Pesach is such a beautiful season of power and intensity. I have literally watched how the dry looking tree branches have woken up, opening new lush green leaves in just a couple of days. During Pesach, our love and passion awaken together with the unfolding of nature. This is why it is a minhag (custom) to read Shir HaShirim – Song of Songs on Pesach, as it describes the love between Hashem and His people. 

During this time of so much amazing light unfolding in nature, and in the world, we count the “Omer” – a particular measure of barley.[1] The period of counting the Omer became a time of semi-mourning because our vessels don’t quite measure up. The light of the time period between Pesach and Shavuot – the most glorious anticipation of Divine revelation – the month of Ziv – “radiance,”[2] has been darkened by the mourning for the students of Rabbi Akiva. They and we lack the proper vessels to contain all of the light and love.[3] Sefirat HaOmer (counting the Omer) teaches us how to encase our love and desire within the proper outer measure. This is also the lesson to learn from the “strange fire” that Aharon’s sons, Nadav and Avihu, sacrificed out of love and passion in this week’s parasha, which we read right after Pesach. Their light breaks through the boundary, missing proper vessels, in their lack of respect for their elders. 

I have designed this week’s meditation to help connect our holy intention – “light” with the proper outer Halachic boundary – “vessel.”

With Blessings of the Torah and the Land
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

Don't miss Rebbetzin's haftorah commentary: The Dance of David: Haftorat Parashat Shemini

Parasha Meditation Shemini
Vayikra 9:1-11:47

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Introduction:
“The sons of Aharon, Nadav and Avihu, each took his fire pan, placed within it fire and put incense upon it. And they [thus] offered a strange fire before Hashem, one that He did not command of them. And a fire came forth from before Hashem and devoured them and they died before Hashem.”[4]

Their Fire of Love and Excitement
What was so terribly wrong with the act of Aharon’s sons that they had to pay for it with their lives? After all, they were holy men, and very close to Hashem.[5] They didn’t have in mind to sin at all. On the contrary, when they saw the new fire which descended from heaven to consume the burnt offering, they desired to add their own fire out of the excitement of their love for the holy.[6] This is learned from the word וַיִּקְחוּ – vayikru – “They took,” which denotes happiness.[7]

Acting upon Spontaneous Feeling without Consulting the Lawgivers
The problem was that they did something they were not commanded to do, as it states in the Torah verse quoted above: “They offered a strange fire before Hashem, one that He did not command of them…” They took the initiative on their own, to do what they thought was right, without first checking with the established authority of their father and uncle, Aharon and Moshe. While some might interpret this as a good thing, it is evident that G*d did not! This way of acting is considered taking Divine service lightly.[8]

Halacha – the Vessel for our Love
Today, in our generation of “love” rather than “fear,” we all too often experience the desire to act spontaneously, expressing our personal love and excitement, without first making sure that our actions are in accordance with accepted halacha (Jewish law). Yes, it is important not to become halachic robots, discussing hairsplitting differences of exactly how many grams of matzah we need to eat at the Seder night within a particular amount of minutes, without any feeling of love and excitement for the mitzvah of eating matzah. On the other hand, we cannot just follow our heart by lighting the Shabbat candles overflowing with deep intentional devotion five minutes after sunset. While we must strive to emulate the passion of Aharon’s sons, we mustn’t forget that the lives of Aharon’s sons were taken in order to teach the importance of balancing inner personal intention with correct outer action. The measurements of halacha are the vessels to contain our light of love and excitement. Without the proper vessels, this light becomes a strange fire!

Meditation:
Sit down in a relaxed, comfortable position and close your eyes.

1. Raise your right hand in front of your face and take a complete inhalation and exhalation. Close your left nostril with your middle and ring fingers, and inhale slowly through your right nostril. Now, closing your right nostril with your thumb, exhale through your left nostril.

2. Now, while closing your left nostril again with your middle and ring fingers, breathe in all the air you can through your right nostril on a count of 4.

3. Close your right nostril with your thumb, placing your index finger on the ridge of your nose. Hold your breath for a count of 2, then slowly open your left nostril by removing your middle and ring fingers, and breathe out slowly to a count of 8.

4. Now breathe into your left nostril to a count of 4. This time, close the left nostril with your middle and ring fingers, with the index finger on the ridge of your nose, and hold your breath for a count of 2. Then breathe out from your right nostril to a count of 8. Repeat this cycle up to five times. You may pause this recording while you do this.

5. Put your hand down now and breathe naturally. Allow your mind to scan your consciousness for a mitzvah you particularly connect with. It could be a special part of a Jewish holiday service, or a mitzvah between people such as guarding our tongue or visiting the sick.

6. Dwell in your mind’s eye on one mitzvah you personally feel a great passion for – a mitzvah you really enjoy.

7. Now imagine doing this mitzvah not only with your ultimate love and excitement, but also with precision and attention to detail. Note the correct timing and amounts of the action, in addition to the particular words needed to be pronounced correctly.

8. Resolve to study up on the details of your favorite mitzvah and/or consult a rabbinic authority for fine-tuning your chosen mitzvah.

Notes:
Rashi teaches us that the death of Aharon’s sons took place by two threads of fire entering into their nostrils and extracting their souls from their bodies.[9] The nostrils connect our body with our soul. Actually, soul in Hebrew – neshamah – shares the same root with the Hebrew word for “breathing” – neshimah. This is because when Hashem originally imbued the first human being with a soul, “He breathed a living soul into his nostrils.”[10] By slowing our breath and breathing in a measured way, we can fine-tune our connection between body and soul – between action and intention.

[1] Barley in Hebrew is שעורה from the Hebrew root שעור that means measure.
[2] I Melachim 6:1.
[3] The main building of vessels take place by showing proper respect, which was what the students of Rabbi Akiva lacked.
[4] Vayikra 10:1-2.
[5] “I will be sanctified through those who are close to me” (Ibid. 3).
[6] Yalkut Shimoni, Vayikra, 10, Allusion 525.
[7] Note the same word is also used to mean “marriage,” the epitome of love and excitement.
[8] Rabbi Moshe David Valle, top student of the Ramchal, commentary to Vayikra (Avodat HaKodesh).
[9] Rashi, Vayikra 10:5.
[10] Bereishit 2:7.