How Will the Process of Circumcising our Hearts Unblock our Childhood Wounds?

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Parashat Nitavim, Vayelech

How Will the Process of Circumcising our Hearts  Unblock our Childhood Wounds?

It is only the Blocks that Conceal the Essential Goodness of the Jewish Soul

The main work of EmunaHealing is to identify the blocks that make us stuck and impede us from moving forward in life and remove them through directed prayer. This is based on the central belief that whenever a person is unable to heal a certain area of her life or reach her goals, it is due to spiritual, emotional, or physical blocks, most commonly, emotional blocks. These blocks are caused by childhood wounds, traumas, or misguided stories that we have been telling ourselves and which have become self-fulfilling prophecies. The more we succeed in removing these blocks and rewriting our stories through guided imagery and positive affirmations, the better a person we will become. In this way EmunaHealing facilitates teshuva – return to our true selves, which have been hiding behind the various blocks that block us from being who we really are. Behind the belief that it is only the exterior blocks that prevent our light from shining forth, is the faith in the essential good of every single Jew. We are all an extension of the Divine. Once we uncover the external husks that conceal our inner soul, then the light of our divine spark is revealed in all its radiance. “Do not gaze upon me, because I am swarthy, for the sun has scorched me…” (Song of Songs 1:6). Rashi explains that the swarthy ugliness that a person may exude is not inherent, but only external, caused by the tanning of the sun. My darkness can easily be lifted so I will become white and pure again.

This principle of EmunaHealing is based on Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaCohen Kook’s optimistic perspective on the nature of a Jew: “The essence of the desire to be good to all, without any limitation at all in the world, whether in terms of the quantity of those benefiting nor the quality of the good bestowed – this is the inner core of the essence of the soul of Knesset Yisrael (Community of Israel)” (Orot, p. 139). This is its inheritance and the legacy from its ancestors, and this is the secret of the nation’s longing for redemption which gives it strength to live and exist, to the wonderment of every thinking person” (Rav Kook, Orot Yisra'el, 1:4).

Shedding the External Layers and Returning to the Essence of Who and What We Are

Teshuva – is not so much about what we are returning from – but more about what we are returning to. During the month of Elul, my students and I sing the famous Carlebach tune, “Return Again” with the help of The B’erot Bat Ayin Songbook with Guitar Chords & Torah Tidbits. The words, “Return to who you are, return to what you are!” reverberate over and over in my head. As I lead my students with my guitar, I pray to unblock all the negative character traits and return to my essential beautiful self. I yearn to return to my naked soul without the exterior blocks that conceal its light. As Rav Kook puts it: “In order to remove every partition that separates between the general Divine good and the soul who thirst for it, we need to separate from every ethical blemish, which impedes the refinement of all our character traits… To also remove that which inhibits and prevents our garments of divine good, we must remove everything that prevents and inhibits the Jewish soul. This is the vital feature for complete teshuva in all its details from every kind of sin according to the written and the oral Torah, which completely reflects the divine soul linked to every Jew (Rav Kook, Orot Hateshuva 13:2). Now during Elul is the time for soul reflection, meditating and systematically removing the partitions and blocks that prevent us to return to who we really are behind all the negative character-traits and actions caused by the accumulated pain and trauma we have experienced throughout our lives.

Circumcising our Hearts – Healing Emotional and Spiritual Wounds During Elul

Parashat Nitzavim brings the comfort of Hashem’s promise that He will circumcise our hearts. This circumcision does not refer to an open-heart surgery but rather to removing the heart walls of resentments, hurt feelings, grudges, and any block that prevents us from accessing our soul. Even the circumcision of the male organ is not to create or build something new but rather to uncover the blocking skin to reveal the crown. These blocks are also what impedes us from being in a loving relationship with Hashem, with others, and with ourselves.

ספר דברים פרק ל פסוק ו 

וּמָל הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֶת לְבָבְךָ וְאֶת לְבַב זַרְעֶךָ לְאַהֲבָה אֶת הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל נַפְשְׁךָ לְמַעַן חַיֶּיךָ:

“Then Hashem, your G-d, will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, [so that you may] love Hashem your G-d with all your heart and with all your soul, for the sake of your life” (Devarim 30:6).

As we are moving closer to the final redemption when Hashem will circumcise our hearts, our desire for emotional health is growing, as we reckon from the popularity of numerous self-help books and courses. To bring the geulah, which we all await we need to first do our work of removing negative emotions, so we will be ready for Hashem to complete our efforts. This is why we are first told to circumcise our hearts by ourselves:

ספר דברים פרק י פסוק טז וּמַלְתֶּם אֵת עָרְלַת לְבַבְכֶם וְעָרְפְּכֶם לֹא תַקְשׁוּ עוֹד:

“You must circumcise the orlah [foreskin] of your hearts, and be no longer stiff-necked” (Devarim 10:16).

Since no one can accomplish anything without Hashem’s help, when we have tried our best to unblock our hearts, Hashem gives His promise to circumcise our hearts and open our hearts to learn to truly love. The optimal time for unblocking our hearts is during the month of Elul as the acronym of our Torah verse alludes:

וּמָל הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֶת לְבָבְךָ וְאֶת לְבַב...Elul

Through Unblocking Our Own Hearts, We Can Influence Our Children to do Teshuva

When our children grow up, we may lose some of the connection we had when they were young, and certainly our ability to teach and influence them. There comes a time when they yearn to be completely independent of us, and no matter how good advice we give them, they don’t want to hear it from us. If their friend tells them the exact same thing that we have said numerous times, they may excitedly follow his words as if they heard it for the very first time. Yet, through teshuva and unblocking of our hearts, we can retain the soul connection with our children and the ability to influence them for good. Rebbe Nachman asks, why does our pasuk mention that G-d will circumcise not only our heart but also the heart of our offspring? He explains that when we truly do the work of unblocking our hearts this will affect our descendants. As long as our heart is uncircumcised and sealed, it is impossible for us to truly feel. (We become numb). Yet when our hearts are unblocked, we are overcome by emotions so strong that they will spill over and affect our descendants and cause their repentance. This is the meaning of “Hashem your G-d will circumcise your heart and the heart of your seed.” When G-d circumcises our hearts, the hearts of our offspring will become circumcised as well. Then our children will also experience thoughts of repentance love of Hashem due to the circumcision of their parent’s heart (Likutei Moharan, Mahadura Kama 141). Through the various pains and traumas, we have experienced, we have learned to numb ourselves to protect ourselves from feeling distress and discomfort. However, when we close our hearts to avoid pain, we automatically also close our hearts to feel anything at all. So, we numb ourselves from feeling the love of G-d and from feeling the pleasures He bestows upon our lives. Being able to feel love is vital for truly being alive! Therefore, we await when Hashem will complete the process of circumcising our hearts “for the sake of our lives”!

EmunaHealing Exercise for Unblocking Your Life and Opening Your Heart
1. It’s the end of Elul – the time for you to take time for meditation and inner reflection. Close your eyes, turn your attention inward, and become aware of your breath. Allow your breath to be what it wants without trying to control it.

2. How are you feeling right now? Rather than quickly answering the habitual “fine,” or “Baruch Hashem!” Breathe into this question and let yourself feel what you are feeling. We all struggle with pain and discomfort. Besides physical pain, there are emotional hurts. People often don’t respond to you the way you expect. Perhaps you feel ignored and not included, or you may feel judged and disrespected by others. Whatever you feel, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.

3. You may also harbor negative feelings about yourself. We all struggle with various versions of, “I’m not good enough.” Allow yourself to feel where you fall short. Breathe into this feeling without judgment. You are not alone in feeling this way. Tune into the spark of goodness within your feeling of inadequacy. Your spark of wanting to improve and rectify your flaws is a sign of your inherent goodness. Breathe into your goodness of always yearning to become better.

4. Recall Rav Kook’s heartening words: “The essence of the desire to be good– this is the inner core of the essence of the soul of the community of Israel.” Deep down you are really good and deserving of Hashem’s love. It is only the external blocks that prevent you from accessing this Divine goodness within you. Even if you cannot feel it yet, connect with the notion that despite your many flaws, you are essentially good and beloved.

5. There may be many layers of blocks concealing the goodness of your heart. Heartwalls may numb you and block you from feeling the love of Hashem, others, and yourself. Envision the Heartwalls as piles of rocks surrounding the most beautiful red rose. To get to the rose you need to shed layers of Heartwalls and penetrate the piles of rocks.

6. Envision breaking the rockpiles with your bare arms. If you need you can imagine wearing gloves as you disintegrate the rockpiles by removing the rocks one by one. Some are small and easy to remove, but others are big and heavy. It takes all your strength to remove them.

7. Each rock represents a hardship in life that has made you close your heart. As you imagine working through rock by rock, pay attention to which hardship each rock represents and what its message is for you. You have worked through many difficulties in life, and you have emerged to become a better person through your struggles. Although you are opening your heart the very best you can, there are still more rocks blocking it from opening completely. Do everything possible and Hashem will do the impossible!

8. Envision how the Divine hand works with you to remove the rest of the rocks that are too heavy for you to carry off by yourself. Hashem is completing your work of circumcising and opening your heart to once again truly feel what you are feeling. Notice all the love streaming through your heart now! Allow yourself to feel your deepest love for Hashem, your Creator, Who bestows all this kindness on you. You can now open your heart and let it fill with love and gratitude for all the blessings in your life. Now you can truly love Hashem, others, and yourself!

Why Would Performing the Mitzvah of Bikkurim (First Fruit Offering) Enable us to Merit the Land?

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Parashat Ki Tavo

Why Would Performing the Mitzvah of Bikkurim (First Fruit Offering) Enable Us to Merit the Land?

In the Land of Israel, the Physical and the Spiritual Realms are Intertwined

Since my last international speaking tour just prior to COVID-19, it seems that so many of our friends and supporters have made Aliyah, and even more are working on making Aliyah. In fact, some 70,000 new immigrants from 95 countries made aliyah in 2022. It was the largest number of olim to arrive in 23 years and a dramatic increase over the previous year when only 28,600 new immigrants were welcomed. COVID-19 generated a paradigm shift that made us face our mortality, contemplate the purpose of life, and our role in the world. Many Torah-observant Jews realized that the true place for a Jew is to live in the Promised Land. Here in Israel, even the mundane and earthly realm is imbued with spirituality as it states, “A Land in which you do not eat bread in measure, you will not be lacking anything in it” (Devarim 8:9). This teaches us that when the Jewish people live in the Land of Israel, we may merit to be on such a level, that acquisition of wealth even luxuries won’t damage our true spiritual perfection. Rather, our wealth will help us increase strength and spiritual perfection in Hashem’s straight path. Through physical abundance, our spiritual level will rise (Rav Kook, Ein Aya, Berachot 6:15). There has been a gap and disunity between body and soul, holy and mundane, ever since the magnificent physical building of our holy Temple exuding the highest spiritual light was destroyed. Throughout our exiles, the spiritual realm has been disengaged from the physical to the extent that teachings such as the Talmudic statement that a Talmid Chacham (Torah scholar) may not walk in public with a stain on his clothing (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 114a) were given little weight. Since the founding of the State of Israel, we began the process of integrating the physical within the spiritual realm. It’s hard to describe how this principle plays out in our daily day life in Israel. All I can say is that when living in Israel you really experience that every tree, flower, and fruit is holy. As I look out of my window behind my computer I see my neighbor’s holy grape-wines winding themselves along our laundry line on the backdrop of the most brilliant, bluest sky. Yes, in Land of Israel heaven and earth are truly one!

Why Would Performing the Mitzvah of Bikkurim Enable Us to Merit the Land?

We usually read Parashat Ki Tavo at the beginning of the fig harvest, the fruit which is especially singled out for the first fruit offering as it states, A person goes down into his field and sees a fig that has ripened. He winds a reed around it for a sign and declares: “This is the בִּכּוּרִים/bikkurim – “first fruit” (Mishnah Bikkurim 3:1; Rashi, Devarim 26:2). We’re excitedly awaiting the time to be able to perform this mitzvah from the Torah with the shiny fruits of our labor:

ספר דברים פרק כו פסוק א 

וְהָיָה כִּי תָבוֹא אֶל הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ נֹתֵן לְךָ נַחֲלָה וִירִשְׁתָּהּ וְיָשַׁבְתָּ בָּהּ: (ב) וְלָקַחְתָּ מֵרֵאשִׁית כָּל פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר תָּבִיא מֵאַרְצְךָ אֲשֶׁר הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ נֹתֵן לָךְ וְשַׂמְתָּ בַטֶּנֶא וְהָלַכְתָּ אֶל הַמָּקוֹם אֲשֶׁר יִבְחַר הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ לְשַׁכֵּן שְׁמוֹ שָׁם:

“It shall be, when you come into the land which Hashem, your G-d, gives you for an inheritance, and you possess it and settle in it, that you shall take of the first of all the fruit of the earth, which you will bring from your land, which Hashem, your G-d, is giving you. Then you shall put [them] into a basket and go to the place which Hashem, your G-d, will choose to have His Name dwell there” (Devarim 26:1-2).

The authoritative halachic midrash, Sifrei, teaches that through performing the mitzvah of bikkurim we will merit of entering the land [of Israel]” (Sifrei, Devarim, Parashat Ki Tavo 1).

Why would performing the mitzvah of bikkurim (first fruit) enable us to merit the land? Moreover, since this mitzvah could only be performed after the lengthy process of conquering and dividing the land, which lasted 14 years, how could it bring about entering the land that happened several years prior?

Acquiring the Two Foundations of a Jew: Kedusha (Holiness) and Emunah (Faith)

Netivot Shalom explains that to merit the Land of Israel we need to acquire two main foundations of serving Hashem: Emunah (faith) and Kedusha (holiness). Emunah implies believing that only Hashem runs the world, and none of our own efforts, strengths, or the might of our hands bring about anything without Hashem willing it. Kedusha is to subjugate our cravings and hand over our enjoyment and lusts to Hashem. When the Temple will be rebuilt B”H, I will infuse myself with holiness, as I go down to my orchard and tie a red string around one of the most succulent figs. I will be subjugating my base desire to gobble it up myself, while I proclaim that it is bikkurim. Offering the first and the best to Hashem will ingrain my emunah that absolutely nothing can exist or grow without Hashem bringing it into creation. During our wandering in the wilderness, we by default acquired the two foundations of kedusha and emunah by quenching our thirst through the holy, miraculous well of Miriam and receiving bread directly from heaven. Whereas regular food arouses lust, eating the manna directly from Hashem’s hand imbued us with the highest holiness. The wilderness wandering experience moreover strengthened our emunah by imprinting within our consciousness how no one but Hashem led us through individual providence.

Through the mitzvah of Bikkurim we Can Enter the Physical Realm of the Land while Maintaining our levels of Emunah and Kedusha

When we were on the verge of entering the Land of Israel, we were afraid of losing our high levels of kedusha and emunah of the wilderness, as we would have to work within the physical realm to sustain ourselves. When doing all the work necessary to grow the fruits of the land, it would be much harder to maintain the clear belief that everything emanates from Hashem, rather than from the power of our own hands. Therefore, Hashem gave us the mitzvah of bikkurim to enable us to enter the Land of Israel and be occupied in earthly pursuits while maintaining our levels of emunah and kedusha. Although we work so hard plowing, sowing, weeding, composting, etc. for the fruit of our labor, the mitzvah of bikkurim – offering the first fruits to Hashem – ensures our emunah that “it is Hashem our G-d, who gives us strength to make wealth…” Rather than being enticed by the erroneous belief that “My strength and the might of my hand has accumulated this wealth for me.” (Devarim 8:17-18). Moreover, our willingness to hand over to Hashem our cravings to grab the first fruit for ourselves – which naturally is the object of our greatest desire – elevates us to the level of holiness. Thus, by offering our earthly goods to Hashem through the mitzvah of bikkurim we can strengthen our clarity of emunah and sanctify ourselves in kedusha while being involved in earthly pursuits. Therefore, this mitzvah enables us to merit to enter the land of Israel.

Overcoming the two Worst Husks Opposing our Jewish Essence: Emunah and Kedusha

The declaration that accompanies the mitzvah of bikkurim establishes the two foundations of Judaism: Emunah and kedusha. The declaration opens by mentioning their two opposing forces: “You shall call out and say before Hashem, your G-d, ‘An Aramean [sought to] destroy my forefather, and he went down to Egypt and sojourned there with a small number of people, and there, he became a great, mighty, and numerous nation…’” (Devarim 26:5). The Aramean refers to Lavan, who embodied the husk of כְּפִירָה/kefirah – ‘heresy,’ which is the opposite of emunah. He claimed that everything belonged to himself rather than to Hashem, saying, “The daughters are my daughters, and the sons are my sons, and the animals are my animals, and all that you see is mine” (Bereishit 31:43). Therefore, we proclaim that Lavan is destroyed and lost as the word אֹבֵד/oved can be understood to not only refer to Lavan’s desire to destroy Israel but also to Lavan’s own destruction. Mentioning the Egyptian exile refers to the husk of unholiness, for Egypt is known as the nakedness of the land – the source of unholy lusts. In the bikkurim recital, we distance ourselves from the two worst husks: Lavan and Egypt – who are diametrically opposed to the two main foundations of the Torah, emunah and kedusha. Thus, through the mitzvah of bikkurim, we can maintain our spiritual level while being involved in working the physical land. Only in the Land of Israel does heaven and earth meet. This is alluded to in the first word of Parashat Ki Tavo is וְהָיָה /vehaya – ‘It shall be.’ The letters of this word are the initials of יִשְׂמְחוּ הַשָּׁמַיִם וְתָגֵל הָאָרֶץ(The heavens will rejoice, and the earth will exult). When a Jew elevates all the earthly, it arouses happiness above. This is the work of these days of teshuva, during the month of Elul, through which we Jews must elevate everything we have to Hashem. Thereby, we can establish, “When you enter the land…” – elevating the aspect of entering the land and the earthly to the source of holiness (Based on Netivot Shalom on Devarim pp.160-162).

EmunaHealing Exercise for Integrating Emunah and Kedusha Available in the Land of Israel

1. Close your eyes and settle down on the ground or relax in your chair. Take several deep breaths and center yourself. Allow all thoughts to pass through you, noticing them without judgment.

2. Tap into your ancestral memory or imagine you are wandering in the wilderness together with your fellow Jews. As Hashem takes care of you, leads you through His cloud of glory and pillar of fire, and feeds you the ethereal manna, allow yourself to feel how you are completely enveloped by the emunah that everything is from G-d. Enjoy this carefree feeling of letting go of all control to Hashem. All is G-d and G-d is all, you are part of this ‘allness’ – this oneness as you glide through the desert following Hashem’s lead.

3. Imagine receiving the manna from heaven and ingesting this spiritually nurturing nourishment. You are completely free of any earthly cravings as you enjoy your divine meal. Can you feel how kedusha enters you with every single bite? Revel in the holiness you experience within you, feeling light and illuminated.

4. Soon you will be leaving your safe and holy incubation, and entering an earthly place, where you will fight wars, till the earth, and be sustained by the fruits of your labor.

5. Get in touch with the challenge of remembering that everything is Hashem, even as we employ our own efforts to succeed. How can we maintain the clarity that it is Hashem and only Hashem Who gives us strength to make wealth and succeed in any of our endeavors? Feel the tension and the challenge to recognize that no matter how wise and clever we are to bring about successful abundance, these results are ONLY due to Hashem.

6. Allow yourself to experience the feeling of your earthly desires like when munching on juicy grapes or a crisp steak, or any other favorite food of yours. Imagine the feeling of wanting more and the challenge of eating slowly and chewing every bite.

7. Recall that through the power of the most uplifted holiness of the land of Israel, a Jew can elevate all earthly matters to Hashem. Envision yourself being in the holy land of Israel right now. Visualize the rolling hills, the intensity of the blueness of the sky, and the beauty of the fruits of the land. Breathe in all of this beauty through which the physical and the spiritual realms unite.

8. The physical land of Israel is imbued with holiness. In Israel every rock and pebble, every grain of sand every drop of dew is holy. Breathe into the notion that in the land of Israel, you can elevate the physical realm to be included in the spiritual.

9. Recite the first word of Parashat Ki Tavo is וְהָיָה /vehaya – “It shall be” softly, barely audibly. Repeat it as many times as you like, breathe into this word וְהָיָה /vehaya וְהָיָה /vehaya וְהָיָה /vehaya. This word is the initials of יִשְׂמְחוּ הַשָּׁמַיִם וְתָגֵל הָאָרֶץ/yismechu hashamayim vetagel ha’aretz (The heavens will rejoice, and the earth will exult). Tap into the unity between heaven and earth that can be experienced in the Land of Israel. Breathe into it and get in touch with your desire to truly live a life of holiness and faith in the Land of Israel. You may open your eyes when you are ready to return to your reality wherever you are right now.

Prayer for Teshuva and Trusting in Hashem

 

Parashat Devarim

Prayer for Teshuva and Trusting in Hashem
 
Hashem, please forgive me for my lack of trust in You!
Please help me to start over and begin my life anew!
 
Your commandments I desire to adhere.
Help me let go of all the worry and fear!
 
In Your almighty power I want to believe!
Only to Your Divine will I desire to cleave!
`
When Your Divine Supervision I perceive,
Your Presence in my heart will never leave!  
 
I no longer intend to be broken or afraid!
For excessive fear the price I have already paid.
 
I no longer want to feel helpless and dismayed!
Let me return to the path from which I’ve strayed!
 
When I experience how You carry me on Your back,
why should I be afraid of any enemy attack?
 
Guide me to shake off the old musky dust,
so even my guts will in You completely trust!
 
Listening to Your command is an absolute must.
for transforming the world to become perfectly just!
 
Hashem, help me to my new conditions adjust,
letting go of old memories laced by rust!
 
Guide me to leave the past on a forgotten shelf!
Let me follow Your lead and overcome myself!
 
Hashem, may I no longer rebel, and sin,
So, I can overcome my enemies within!
 
Help me let go and let G-d fight all my wars,
letting You navigate while I only work the oars!
 
Let me trust that You lead me to secure shores,
showing me fresh vistas and opening new doors!

Based on Devarim Chapter 1 verse 28-33, 41-45

ספר דברים פרק א פסוק כח אָנָה אֲנַחְנוּ עֹלִים אַחֵינוּ הֵמַסּוּ אֶת לְבָבֵנוּ לֵאמֹר עַם גָּדוֹל וָרָם מִמֶּנּוּ עָרִים גְּדֹלֹת וּבְצוּרֹת בַּשָּׁמָיִם וְגַם בְּנֵי עֲנָקִים רָאִינוּ שָׁם: )כט) וָאֹמַר אֲלֵכֶם לֹא תַעַרְצוּן וְלֹא תִירְאוּן מֵהֶם:

(ל) הָשַׁם אֱלֹהֵיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ לִפְנֵיכֶם הוּא יִלָּחֵם לָכֶם כְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה אִתְּכֶם בְּמִצְרַיִם לְעֵינֵיכֶם:

(לא) וּבַמִּדְבָּר אֲשֶׁר רָאִיתָ אֲשֶׁר נְשָׂאֲךָ הָשַׁם אֱלֹהֶיךָ כַּאֲשֶׁר יִשָּׂא אִישׁ אֶת בְּנוֹ בְּכָל הַדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר הֲלַכְתֶּם עַד בֹּאֲכֶם עַד הַמָּקוֹם הַזֶּה :(לב) וּבַדָּבָר הַזֶּה אֵינְכֶם מַאֲמִינִם בַּיהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם:

(לג) הַהֹלֵךְ לִפְנֵיכֶם בַּדֶּרֶךְ לָתוּר לָכֶם מָקוֹם לַחֲנֹתְכֶם בָּאֵשׁ לַיְלָה לַרְאֹתְכֶם בַּדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר תֵּלְכוּ בָהּ וּבֶעָנָן יוֹמָם:

“Where shall we go up? Our brothers have discouraged us, saying, ‘A people greater and taller than we; cities great and fortified up to the heavens, and we have even seen the sons of Anakim there.’ And I said to you, ‘Do not be broken or afraid of them. Hashem, your G-d, Who goes before you He will fight for you, just as He did for you in Egypt before your very eyes, and in the desert, where you have seen how Hashem, your G-d, has carried you as a man carries his son, all the way that you have gone, until you have come to this place. But regarding this matter, you do not believe Hashem, your G-d, Who goes before you on the way, to search out a place for you, in which to encamp, in fire at night, to enable you to see on the way you should go, and in a cloud by day…’” (Devarim 1:38-33). 

ספר דברים פרק א פסוק מא וַתַּעֲנוּ וַתֹּאמְרוּ אֵלַי חָטָאנוּ לַיהֹוָה אֲנַחְנוּ נַעֲלֶה וְנִלְחַמְנוּ כְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר צִוָּנוּ הָשַׁם אֱלֹהֵינוּ וַתַּחְגְּרוּ אִישׁ אֶת כְּלֵי מִלְחַמְתּוֹ וַתָּהִינוּ לַעֲלֹת הָהָרָה: (מב) וַיֹּאמֶר הָשַׁם אֵלַי אֱמֹר לָהֶם לֹא תַעֲלוּ וְלֹא תִלָּחֲמוּ כִּי אֵינֶנִּי בְּקִרְבְּכֶם וְלֹא תִּנָּגְפוּ לִפְנֵי אֹיְבֵיכֶם: (מג) וָאֲדַבֵּר אֲלֵיכֶם וְלֹא שְׁמַעְתֶּם וַתַּמְרוּ אֶת פִּי הָשַׁם וַתָּזִדוּ וַתַּעֲלוּ הָהָרָה:

(מד) וַיֵּצֵא הָאֱמֹרִי הַיּשֵׁב בָּהָר הַהוּא לִקְרַאתְכֶם וַיִּרְדְּפוּ אֶתְכֶם כַּאֲשֶׁר תַּעֲשֶׂינָה הַדְּבֹרִים וַיַּכְּתוּ אֶתְכֶם בְּשֵׂעִיר עַד חָרְמָה:

(מה) וַתָּשֻׁבוּ וַתִּבְכּוּ לִפְנֵי הָשַׁם וְלֹא שָׁמַע הָשַׁם בְּקֹלְכֶם וְלֹא הֶאֱזִין אֲלֵיכֶם:

“Then you answered and said to me, ‘We have sinned against Hashem; we will go up and fight, according to all that Hashem, our G-d, has commanded us.’ So every one of you girded his weapons, and you prepared yourselves to go up to the mountain. Then Hashem said to me, ‘Say to them, neither go up nor fight, for I am not among you, lest you be struck down before your enemies.’ So, I spoke to you, but you did not listen, and you rebelled against the command of Hashem, and you acted wickedly and went up to the mountain. And the Amorites, dwelling in that mountain, came out towards you and pursued you as bees do, and beat you down in Seir, as far as Chormah. So, you returned and wept before Hashem, but Hashem would not hear your voice, nor would He listen to you (Devarim 1:41-45).