Parashat Bamidbar: How Does the Wilderness Prepare Us to Inherit the Land of Israel?

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Parashat Bamidbar
How Does the Wilderness Prepare Us to Inherit the Land of Israel?

What made Me Embrace the Torah in The Old City of Jerusalem on Shavuot?
This Shavuot, I celebrate 45 years of Torah! I can hardly believe how the years have flowed by, like foamy waves softening and refining our hearts, as hardships etched their traces into the furrows of our faces. I look back with nostalgia to that first Shavuot – the beginning of my teshuva – when everything was new. I found myself among a circle of women, sitting on cool stones under the starry sky in the Old City of Jerusalem. It was the first time I learned about Ruth – who left behind the comfort of her regal home, her country, and all that was familiar, to follow her aged mother-in-law Naomi toward an unknown destiny.
I, too, had recently left my own country, my childhood home, and the prospect of a prestigious university degree to follow my heart and fulfill an undefined calling. Was Ruth also a truth seeker, who found the pomp of prosperity superficial while looking for a deeper meaning and mission in life? I pondered.
Since my teenage years, I had been searching for truth. I had rejected the Marxism I was taught in high school, which focused solely on dismantling economic classes without addressing the values that would define the envisioned society of financial equality. Dancing in the inner city with born-again Xtians whose theology conflicted with everything I would later come to value felt exciting at the time, but their answers rang hollow and rehearsed. Though I was a flower-power girl immersed in the hippy counterculture, I was never drawn enough to the East to join my friends traveling to India and Nepal in search of spirituality and inner vision. Yoga helped me strengthen my body, but it in no way touched my soul.
I had never considered seeking truth within my own Jewish heritage. The Jewish experiences of my youth had led me to believe Judaism was nothing more than a culinary creed wrapped in outdated rules, lacking any spiritual essence.
Yet here I was, in the holy city of Jerusalem, at the Women’s Division of the Diaspora Yeshiva – where I had surprisingly found my spiritual home. I still remember hearing Rabbi Goldstein proclaim: “Now that you’ve received the Torah, can you give it back? No, you can’t. You have to keep it!” At that moment, I knew I was hooked for life.

Why is the Torah Given in the Desert?

Parashat Bamidbar opens with the Israelites still in the wilderness, poised to begin their journey toward the Land of Israel.

ספר במדבר פרק א פסוק א וַיְדַבֵּר הַשֵׁם אֶל משֶׁה בְּמִדְבַּר סִינַי...

“Hashem spoke to Moshe in the Wilderness of Sinai…” (Bamidbar 1:1).

Chazal ask: why was the Torah given in the מִדְּבַר/midbar – ‘desert’ a place of emptiness and desolation?

To enter the covenant of Torah and inherit Eretz Yisrael, we must let go of personal pride and entitlement. The desert has no owner. It is vast, barren, and silent. In that space of inner surrender, we become worthy of receiving Hashem’s word.

Just as the desert prepared us to receive Torah, it also prepared us to receive the Land. Before entering the land flowing with milk and honey, we had to be emptied of Egypt – of its mentality, attachments, and enslaved self-image. The desert strips away ego so we can enter the land as humble vessels for Hashem’s presence. This reflects my experience of accepting the Torah, on my first Shavuot. I made myself like the wilderness, emptying myself of my past to start over on a clean new page in the story of my life.

The Midrash teaches: the Torah was given with fire, water, and in the wilderness – all elements that are free and accessible to all. So too, Torah is free for anyone who thirsts for it (Yeshaya’hu 55:1). Another teaching: Only one who makes himself like a wilderness, can truly acquire Torah. “Whoever does not make himself ownerless and accessible to all, cannot acquire the wisdom of the Torah” (Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah 1:7).

What Does it Take to Make our Torah Transformative and Enduring?
The Imrei Emet explains that the Torah was given to rectify the three core flaws of humanity – jealousy, lust, and pride – reflected in the sins of early generations: Kayin, the generation of the Flood, and the Tower of Babel. The mitzvot at Matan Torah correspond to these: the boundary around Mount Sinai addressed jealousy – giving each person their designated space; the command to abstain from marital intimacy represented restraint – countering lust; and standing humbly at the foot of the mountain symbolized submission – opposing pride. This is why the Torah was given with fire, water, and wilderness – representing passion, humility, and self-nullification. Every day, we are challenged by jealousy, lust, and pride – and only through the power of Torah can we overcome them. Moreover, to truly acquire Torah, we must make ourselves like a wilderness – open, humble, and ownerless (Imrei Emet, Bamidbar, 5667). This concept hits home when I reminisce about those early days of embracing Torah, most of the students in Diaspora Yeshiva from affluent American families, made great sacrifices to leave flourishing careers and promising prosperous futures behind, to dedicate ourselves to Torah learning in the Land of Israel. As the Imrei Emet teaches, as long as we make ourselves like a desert completely given over and devoted to Torah and Mitzvot (mesirut nefesh), through this inner work of surrendering our selves, our Torah becomes transformative and enduring. Now, 45 years later this concept has proven true through the descendants of the students of the ‘hippy yeshiva’ raising families deeply rooted in Torah and mitzvot.  

How Does the Counting of Israel Connect to the Land?

It is significant that the journey through the wilderness begins with counting:

ספר במדבר פרק א פסוק ב שְׂאוּ אֶת רֹאשׁ כָּל עֲדַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָם לְבֵית אֲבֹתָם בְּמִסְפַּר שֵׁמוֹת כָּל זָכָר לְגֻלְגְּלֹתָם:

“Take the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, by families following their fathers' houses; a head count of every male according to the number of their names” (Bamidbar 1:2).

What is the purpose of counting the Israelites specifically at the outset of the nation’s journey through the wilderness? The Netziv explains that the census in Parashat Bamidbar isn’t just about numbers – it’s about identity and a spiritual confirmation of each individual’s destined inheritance in the Land of Israel (HaEmek Davar, Bamidbar 1:2). Each person was counted “by name” and “by their father’s house,” emphasizing identity, lineage, and their destined portion in the Land of Israel. The configuration of the Israelite camp mirrored this destiny. Each family and tribe camped in a Divinely designated place, forming a sacred map that anticipated their eventual settlement in Eretz Yisrael – not only geographically, but spiritually.

According to the teachings of the Arizal, this encampment was patterned after the supernal structure of the sefirot. The twelve tribes corresponded to distinct spiritual channels, grouped into four דְּגָלִים/degalim – ‘banners’ – each containing three tribes. This mystical arrangement reflected a deeper cosmic order, where each tribe’s location in the wilderness corresponded to its spiritual root above (Etz Chaim, Sha’ar 31, Chapter 3). The Midrash supports this idea, stating that the formation of the tribes mirrored the arrangement of the heavenly hosts (Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah 2:8).
Thus, the desert became a place of alignment – each soul drawn to its specific inheritance, in sync with its Divine source. This is hinted in the verse: וְאִישׁ עַל־דִּגְלוֹ בְאֹתֹת לְבֵית אֲבֹתָם יַחֲנוּ “Each man by his banner, according to the signs of their father’s house shall they camp” (Bamidbar 2:2). The אֹתֹת/otot – “signs” – may be understood as spiritual markers, revealing each tribe’s unique role within the collective mission of Am Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael.

How is the Wilderness Experience Still Relevant for Life in the Land Today?

The journey from the wilderness to Eretz Yisrael is not only historical – it is psychological and spiritual. Many of us today live in the Land yet still carry traces of ‘Egypt’ in our hearts. The midbar remains a necessary stage to enter the Land inwardly.

The holiness of Eretz Yisrael cannot be fully appreciated until we empty ourselves of the spiritual clutter of exile. Only then can the light of the Land penetrate our souls. I’m continually inspired by how many of my students go through this process – shedding layers of exile, undergoing both physical and spiritual reboot, and gradually rooting and resettling themselves in the Holy Land.

Although Bat Ayin isn’t a desert, compared to the grand cities many of our students left behind, this rural village in the Judean Hills serves as a kind of midbar – a humble, quiet space where we can learn to hear the whisper of the Divine voice. The word מִדְבַּר/midbar – ‘desert’ – is etymologically related to דִּבּוּר/dibur – ‘speech.’ Like the desert, Bat Ayin is free of distractions – a place where we can learn to listen to the still, small voice and truly dwell in the sanctity of Eretz Yisrael.
May we each walk our personal midbar with courage and faith – shedding old identities, listening to the voice of Hashem, and preparing our hearts to receive our portion in the Holy Land. And may we soon see the full inheritance of Am Yisrael revealed – each tribe, each soul, restored to its rightful place in the Land.   

How Does Gratitude Help Us Grow in the Process of Self-refinement?

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Parashat Emor

 How Does Gratitude Help Us Grow in the Process of Self-refinement? 

Counting in Anticipation of Marrying the King’s Daughter 

Counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot teaches us how much we look forward to receiving the Torah and how much we appreciate it. As a child, I recall counting the days the led up to my birthday and Chanukah in anticipation of receiving presents. Some children may also count the days until vacation, but I never did because I liked attending school. As an adult, I appreciate even more the opportunity to learn Torah, and go to school and teach Torah to students eager to learn. I together with my students look forward with gratitude to celebrating Receiving the Torah on Shavuot, in our all-night learning program. The following parable describes the mitzvah of counting the Omer in anticipation of receiving the Torah:  A messenger of the king’s servants told an imprisoned man: “On such and such day the king will release you from prison, and fifty days after your departure, he will give you his daughter.” The prisoner replied: “When the king’s words are fulfilled to bring me out of prison, I will believe that his second promise to give me his daughter will also come true. After he was released, he began to count, and the king gave him his daughter on the fiftieth day. This is an allegory for Hashem’s words to Moshe: “Go... and bring my people (the children of Israel) out of Egypt. When you bring the people out of Egypt, you will worship G-d on this mountain, and I will give them the Torah” (Shemot 3:12 with Rashi). Moshe went and told Israel, but they did not listen to him, because of hard work (Shemot 6:9). They said: “We can’t believe that He will bring us out of Egypt from slavery, let alone that He will give us the Torah.” When they were brought out, Israel began to count the days until they would receive the Torah. It was given to them at the end of fifty days from the Exodus. G-d commanded that they count every year for the sake of their endearment of the Torah, for the Torah that He gave them is the most desirable vessel through which the world was created (Rav Yosef, Bechor Shor, on Vayikra 23:16). There are no bounds to how blessed we are to have the freedom to learn Torah. At times we may forget how the Jews were executed for Torah learning during the Roman Exile, and more recently in the Soviet Union, Jews were sent to cruel labor camps for learning and living according to the Torah. The counting of the Omer reminds us and ingrains within us the gratitude for the Torah.  Especially women, who traditionally didn’t learn Torah inside the text until the last four or five decades, how can we not be ecstatically grateful for the ability to learn Torah in depth? 

Facilitating Our Eternal Journey from Physical to Spiritual Freedom

Parashat Emor lists all the holidays of the Jewish calendar including the mitzvah to count the Omer for 49 days from the day following the first day of Pesach until Shavuot the 50th day. It is fitting that we read about the mitzvah of counting the Omer during the period of counting the Omer:

ספר ויקרא פרק כג פסוק טו וּסְפַרְתֶּם לָכֶם מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת מִיּוֹם הֲבִיאֲכֶם אֶת עֹמֶר הַתְּנוּפָה שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת תְּמִימֹת תִּהְיֶינָה: (טז) עַד מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת הַשְּׁבִיעִת תִּסְפְּרוּ חֲמִשִּׁים יוֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶּם מִנְחָה חֲדָשָׁה לַהָשֵׁם:

“You shall count for yourselves, from the morrow of the rest day from the day you bring the Omer as a wave offering seven weeks; they shall be complete. You shall count until the day after the seventh week, [namely,] the fiftieth day, [on which] you shall bring a new meal offering to Hashem (Vayikra 23:15-16). 

It has been just over a month since we celebrated Pesach.  Around our tables, we relived the journey from slavery to freedom. We worked on liberating ourselves from our compulsive thoughts and reactions, and unconscious habitual repetitive patterns in our own lives. The more we bring our unconscious automatic reactions to our awareness, the more we can be free to make our own conscious choices in life. Just being aware that we do have a choice in every situation is an indicator of freedom. All Jewish holidays related to the calendar cycle, have both a physical, agricultural, land perspective and a corresponding spiritual message. Just as the journey of the Israelites from Egypt to Mount Sinai is reflected by counting the days between the first barley harvest at Pesach time and the first wheat harvest at Shavuot, so does this period denote our eternal journey from physical to spiritual freedom. I believe that attaining true spiritual freedom is to align our personal will with Hashem’s will, as Rabbi Gamliel used to say, “Make His will like your will so that He will make your will like His will…” (Pirkey Avot 2:4). When you toil in Torah which is the will of Heaven, do so with zeal and joy, without having your thoughts scattered on other things, just like you focus all your thoughts singly on your occupation (Tiferet Yisrael). I believe that true spiritual freedom is to master our thoughts and desires and devote them all to Hashem’s Torah. The spiritual practice of counting the Omer is to facilitate this mastery and devotion. It is not by chance that the practice of counting the Omer pertains to the entire month of Iyar in which the sense of thought reigns (Sefer Yetzirah 5:7).

Physical and Spiritual Renewal Reflected by Barley and Wheat Respectively 

True freedom is expressed when releasing physical, emotional, and spiritual blocks that block us from constant renewal. The coarse, hard barley that ripens in spring during nature’s rising energy of spurting forward reflects our physical renewal.  The soft, sweet wheat that comes to fruition when most flowering fruit trees have begun to yield their loving mulberries, cherries, and early figs reflects our spiritual renewal. Just as Hashem created the body to be a vessel for the soul, so does physical renewal convey the potential for spiritual renewal. Thus, the spring flowers during the barley harvest symbolize potential, whereas the first fruits during the wheat harvest embody actualization which is the ultimate spiritual purpose of creation. At that time of year, we stood at Mount Sinai and chose to accept the Torah declaring – na’aseh v’nishmah – “We will do, and we will listen.” So too do we possess an ongoing potential for renewal and refinement at this time between Pesach and Shavuot, when we are helped from heaven to become aware of our potential for growth and change. Each day during this period we have the opportunity to meditate on, tune into, and cultivate the Sefirot combination that requires rectification then. The beauty of the Omer practice acknowledges that all growth is a process that cannot be accomplished in one day. We all go through a process, traveling a spiral path round and round, but never in quite the same place each year. Thus, each spring, after the elaborate Pesach Seder that made us more deeply aware of the pursuit of freedom within ourselves and the world, we embark upon the journey through the wilderness of our lives.

A Healthy Soul in a Healthy Body

The culture of our Western society emphasizes physical beauty. It focuses on improving our physical health, and physical body. Yoga, pilates, special diets, detoxing kits, and supplements are advertised everywhere. In the Torah, care of our body is also vital but only to benefit our soul. As Rambam teaches, “Maintaining a healthy and sound body is among the ways of G-d, since it is impossible to understand or know the Creator when one is ill. Therefore, one must avoid anything that harms the body, and cultivate healthy habits that strengthen the body (Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 4:1). The final purpose of maintaining physical health is to refine our inner lives and bring more holiness into the world, through character improvement. Moving from physical to spiritual freedom during the Omer count between Pesach and Shavuot can be depicted as a ladder, counting up, not down, toward the possibility of revelation. As we commit ourselves to becoming and entering into a process of refining our hearts and opening our eyes, we can come more into contact with our Divine nature and become conduits for revealing holiness in the world (Based on Kaya Stern-Kaufman, Gratitude is a choice). 

Celebrating the Half-Steps and Mid-Journey-Moments

Barley in the Torah is considered animal fodder, whereas the more refined wheat is the main Torah staple for humans. The suspected adulteress brings a barley offering “But not wheat; [since] she conducted herself like an animal, therefore, her offering is [composed of] animal feed” - (Rashi, Bamidbar 5:15 based on BT, Sotah 15b, Sifrei Naso 1:48).  The Ba’al Shem Tov, would never say lachayim! on beer because it is made from barley. Although barley is relegated to be considered animal feed, we still offered it to Hashem as the omer offering before we sacrificed two loaves of whole wheat bread on Shavuot. The Omer is actually a biblical-era measurement (equivalent to 43.2 oz. or 57.6 grams). On the 16th of Nissan, in addition to the regular holiday offering, a lamb was offered together with an Omer of barley taken from the first harvest of the land of Israel (Rambam, Hilchot Temidin uMusafin 7:3-5). It was forbidden to eat or even reap any newly grown grains before the Omer Offering (Ibid. 7:13). If we wanted to celebrate the crops, would it not suffice to celebrate more refined wheat?  Farmers in biblical and Talmudic times grew their grains – the central crops and main source of income from Pesach to Shavuot. Before the ripening of the wheat, they only had barley, and for that, they would need to be thankful already. We often do not celebrate the half-steps, the beginning of a journey, or appreciate the not-yet-perfect life. But life is full of “not-there-yets,” work-in-progress, and mid-journey moments, for which we must show appreciation and gratitude. Embracing the half-measures can help us feel just that much more complete (Based on Rabbi Shua Brick, Emor: Gratitude for the Half Measures).

            Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Emor –

Some Tips for How to Strengthen Gratitude for Self-Improvement 

Recent research shows that gratitude can lead to a growth mindset and facilitate you to persevere when faced with challenges. A growth mindset entails believing that our abilities are not fixed, rather they can be developed through practice, skill-building, help from others, and reflection. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, who coined the term growth mindset, says that having a growth mindset is having a passion for stretching ourselves and sticking with something even when it is not easy or going well. With that in mind, an easily navigable path leads from gratitude to a growth mindset. By expressing gratitude regularly and appreciating what we have, we are pointing out to ourselves how our efforts have led to improved skills or new abilities. 

• Consider an evening practice of recalling and writing down five things that occurred that day for which you are grateful – Try to increase the number over time. See how your attention may change during the day if you know you must report your blessings each evening. Perhaps you would seek out moments for gratitude otherwise unseen? These do not need to be historic happenings. They can and are simple moments; when someone offers you a smile, the sun shines on your face, or a favorite song comes on the radio. Whatever it is, notice it and write it down in the evening. We all have countless moments to be grateful for when looking through the lens of blessings rather than being too absorbed in worldly things. 

• Tune Into Blessings that Occurred to You Reflecting the Sefirot Connection of Each Day – Your Sefirot Soul Accounting can be finetuned by relating to the sefirah of the week with its combination of the sefirah of the day. For example, on the day of Chesed of Netzach, tune into good deeds of extending yourself through tenacity that you accomplished. Another example may be to count your victories, even small ones, such as overcoming an urge to binge, during the week of Netzach associated with tenacity and victory. 

• Count Your “Not-Yet-Perfect” Blessings – Acknowledge the baby steps you take on your journey toward tikun and self-improvement. It is the process rather than the project that matters or the effort rather than the end result that counts in Hashem’s eyes. If you began to speak lashon hara (evil speech) but caught yourself and instead of speaking 100 words only spoke 20 that too is a partial victory for which to be grateful. Keep recognizing and acknowledging your efforts towards becoming a better person more aligned with Hashem’s will.