How Does Unified Leadership Help Us Overcome the Test of Fear?
Torah wisdom from Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum
Author, EmunaHealer, Founder and Director of Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin
Wednesday, June 25, 2025
Parashat Korach: What is the Connection Between Korach’s Revolt and Eretz Yisrael?
How Does Unified Leadership Help Us Overcome the Test of Fear?
Wednesday, July 3, 2024
Parashat Korach: What is the Small Adjustment of Attitude that Could Have Prevented Korach’s Rebellion?
Parashat Korach
What is the Small Adjustment of Attitude that Could Have Prevented Korach’s Rebellion?
Why Would we want to Believe that “I’m Getting More Than I Deserve?” Looking for an inspiring YouTube while making challot, Hashem guided me to a short recording by Rabbi Manis Friedman, which connected to gratitude. The basic message was, “Don’t pursue happiness, allow it to happen while being enthusiastic about the things you are doing, or do the things you are enthusiastic about.” The recipe for happiness that the Rabbi shared is, cultivating an attitude of “I’m getting more than I deserve.” Although my husband disputed this concept, saying that working hard to deserve things in life makes people feel happy, I perceive truth on both sides. My husband is relating to the issue from the perspective of our actions, and I certainly agree that it’s commendable to work hard and then allow ourselves a well-deserved vacation. Yet from the perspective of receiving blessings and goodness in life, if we believe that we are getting less than we deserve, we will be constantly unhappy, thinking that life is unfair and that we have drawn the shortest straw. This mindset often leads people to become envious and compare themselves with others, thinking: “How come my neighbor is more successful, has a better job, and is more respected, although I’m working just as hard, and am at least as talented?” Feeling that we deserve all our gifts of life stems from an attitude of – as we say in Hebrew – מַגִּיעַ לִי/magia li – literally, “I have it coming to me!” Why should I be happy or grateful when things are going well? Don’t I deserve it? Why should I be thankful if I have earned the goodness I gained? These attitudes can lead to arrogance. Whenever I’m upset with my husband who doesn’t always understand me, or I experience minor marriage problems such as being criticized and accused of being critical, I must remind myself that I’m still getting more than I deserve. Baruch Hashem my husband isn’t abusive, he is faithful and never looks at other women, and what’s more, he usually dotes on me! Only when we realize that no one can ever deserve any of the gifts of life with which Hashem blesses us, can we truly feel grateful and happy. When we lower our expectations of what we deserve, we will welcome each surprising blessing with overflowing gratitude.
Every Blessing is Bestowed According to Precise Divine Supervision In certain situations, it’s easy to forget that Hashem is in charge of EVERYTHING and that what we receive for good or bad is according to precise Divine Supervision. Sometimes we may feel slighted, when others are remiss in giving us the gifts, or the applause we think we deserve. This reminds me of a story I heard from a recording by Sara Cohen on Torah Anytime. A certain respected Rabbi was invited to a wedding. Since he was a very good friend of both the family of the Chatan (groom) and the Kallah (bride), he surely expected to receive the honor of reciting one of the sheva brachot (blessings) under the Chuppah (wedding canopy). He was waiting patiently, but the brachot were given to others one by one. Finally, they got up to the final sheva bracha, but someone else was called up to recite it. When he was absent, they called a second person who had just stepped out due to an urgent phone call, and the third person they called up was somehow delayed. Now, our Rabbi friend of the family could easily fall into the pitfall of thinking “What’s going on here? Do the families not consider me a close friend? Have they forgotten about all I have done for them throughout all the years I have known them? Why don’t they even consider me worthy to be the substitute for the substitute reciting a blessing for the couple?” Finally, when three other rabbis were unavailable, the said Rabbi friend heard his name called, and he went up to the Chuppah to give his blessing to the new couple. As he returned to his place, the person standing next to him whispered into his ear:
תלמוד בבלי מסכת יומא דף לח/א-ב מִכָּאן אָמַר בֶּן עַזַּאי: בְּשִׁמְךָ יִקְרָאוּךְ, וּבִמְקוֹמְךָ יוֹשִׁיבוּךְ, וּמִשֶּׁלְּךָ יִתְּנוּ לְךָ. אֵין אָדָם נוֹגֵעַ בַּמּוּכָן לַחֲבֵירוֹ, וְאֵין מַלְכוּת נוֹגַעַת בַּחֲבֶרְתָּהּ אֲפִילּוּ כִּמְלֹא נִימָא... “ Ben Azzai said: “by your name, they shall call you, and in your place, they shall seat you, and from your own they shall give you. Not one reign overlaps with another and deducts even a hairbreadth from the time allotted” (Babylonian Talmud, Yoma 38a-b).b
In other words, we should not be concerned that others might usurp our livelihood or success, since at the appropriate moment, everyone has a portion designated for him by G-d, and everyone is privileged to receive what is coming to him. The principle is: No person may touch what is prepared for another by G-d. Everyone receives what is designated for him. This implies that the last sheva bracha had the name of the Rabbi-family-friend written on it. If the blessing wasn’t designated for him, one of the others called up would have gotten it. Hashem made it so that each of the others was unavailable for various reasons, just so that this particular Rabbi would be the one reciting the last bracha under the chuppah, as he was meant to do.
My Student’s First Spelt Challah Gift is Surely More Than I Deserve This Talmudic teaching has helped bring me back on track when – at times – I may have felt jealous of others who seemingly were chosen over me as teachers, mentors, or healers, or when the younger brothers of my son’s friends got married one by one while he remained single. (B”H he is now married to a wonderful young woman who was worth the wait!). The other day, when we had the thank you luncheon for the host families in Bat Ayin who graciously open their homes and hearts to welcome our students for Shabbat meals, was a testing moment. The students had made beautifully decorated goody bags for each host family with handwritten thank-you notes. What a beautiful gesture! Had it not been for recalling the above mentioned Talmudic teaching from Yoma, I may have felt left out, thinking, “Why didn’t I get a decorated bag with a handwritten thank-you-note? After all, my husband and I open our home to the students, no less than the other host families.” But I believe I passed the test, focusing on how nice it was that my students expressed genuine gratitude to the families in Bat Ayin who keep hosting them. I’m considered more like the mom that you are always welcome to eat by. Having a welcoming home for students is part of the Rebbetzin role. It’s expected and not anything exceptional that warrants special recognition. I remained happy because even without a special decorated bag, I recognized that I was getting more than I deserved thank G-d. as I write these lines, I’m interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by an SMS “Are you home? I’m outside the door, I wanna give you something!” It’s one of my dear students holding an immense whole-spelt sourdough aromatic challah giving off the delicious scent of Shabbat. “It’s my first challah and I wanted to give it to you! Enjoy! With all my love🤍Thank you for everything!” she says with a hug. Here I got my confirmation! Hashem knows what He is doing. He ensures that everyone gets what’s due to them, as it states, “…and from your own they shall give you…” (Yoma 38). Nevertheless, I am overwhelmed with a grateful feeling that I surely am getting more than I deserve!
Rashi asked, Now, what made Korach decide to quarrel with Moshe? He envied the chieftainship of Elizaphan the son of Uziel whom Moshe appointed as president over the sons of Kahat by the [Divine] word. Korach claimed, “My father and his brothers were four.” …Amram was the first, and his two sons received greatness, Moshe became the king, and Aharon Kohen Gadol. Who is entitled to receive the second position? Is it not I, who am the son of Yitzhar, the second brother to Amram? And yet, Moshe appointed the son of his youngest brother to become the president of the tribe of Levy! I oppose him and will invalidate his word (Midrash Tanchuma Korach 1, Midrash Rabbah 18:2).
Korach is an example of someone who feels he is getting less than he deserves. He was a great Torah scholar, seemingly more suitable for the position as president of the tribe of Levi than his youngest cousin. Therefore, it didn’t make sense to him that he wasn’t chosen. Here is where emunah comes in! No matter whether it makes sense or not, we must recall the Talmudic teaching that everyone receives the precise portion metered out by Divine decree. By refusing to accept that each person gets exactly what Hashem ordains, Korach caused himself and his cohorts tremendous aggravation, in his unbridled honor-seeking, he brought everyone to meet their untimely death and to be taken out of the world as it states:
Since envy, lust, and honor-seeking stem from a feeling of lack – of getting less than we deserve – this attitude interferes with the ability to function in this world, as well as making a person lose entrance into the world-to-come. The world cannot suffer the existence of such a person. Although G-d is not so quick to “remove sinners from the world,” those who are driven by these negative character traits of envy, lust, and honor-seeking cannot remain in the world because they are so self-destructive that they actively remove themselves from the world. Had Korach cultivated an attitude of, “I am getting more than I deserve,” he could have saved his own life and that of all his 252 followers. Perhaps when reading this, even my husband will agree that this dictum is the secret to living meaningful, happy, long lives in this world and the next!
Tuesday, June 13, 2023
What can we Learn from Korach’s Example About Uprooting Jealousy?
Reincarnation of Kayin – the First One in the World to be Jealous
The reason they addressed Hashem as “the G-d of the הָרוּחֹת/ruchot – ‘spirits’ rather than ‘the G-d of the נְשָׁמוֹת/neshamot – ‘souls’ is because jealousy is manifested specifically through the רוּחַ/ruach – ‘spirit.’ Korach’s ruach was the jealous spirit of Kayin. He was envious of Moshe who was a reincarnation of Hevel (HaRamaz on Zohar Bamidbar, p. 461). Korach’s sin is rooted in Kayin’s jealousy of Hevel whose offering found favor in G-d’s eyes. Hevel was the prototype of the Kohen Gadol, who offers the temple sacrifice. Kayin wanted to be chosen for this role – so he killed Hevel. In the same way, Korach was envious of Aharon’s eternal role as the Kohen Gadol of G-d’s Temple, so he tried to destroy him (Rabbi Avraham Greenbaum, Universal Torah Lessons for Humanity from the Weekly Parsha).
Icy Versus Watery Character Traits
The Zohar describes the birth of Kayin as due to the
spiritual pollution that the serpent had injected into Chava (Zohar Chadash
p. 63b). Korach’s spirit retained the spiritual pollution of the primordial
serpent that originally was absorbed by Kayin. Just as the serpent was
motivated by its jealousy of Adam, so was Korach jealous of the Elitzafan being
appointed to be the leader of the Kehatites (Rashi, Bamidbar 16:10).
Moshe and Korach represent two types of people, indicated by their names. The
name ‘Moshe,’ means min hamayim meshitihu, “For I drew him out of
the water” (Shemot 2:10), whereas the name ‘Korach,’ has the exact same
Hebrew spelling as kerach – ice. Moshe represents water; Korach
represents ice. Ice is cold, hard, and unyielding, expanding ever larger as it
freezes, symbolic of an inflating ego. Water is fluid, life-giving, and always
flows to the lowest possible point, symbolic of humility. Our lesson is to
emulate the watery traits of Moshe, rather than the frozen qualities of Korach.
(Efraim Palvano
https://www.mayimachronim.com/moses-and-korach-abel-and-Kayin-water-and-ice/).
The Rectified Jealousy of the Sons of Korach
Despite the devastating effect of jealousy, it is possible to use
this trait to enact repair on the deepest level. Looking at the inner dimension
of jealousy it becomes clear that through it we receive the ability to rectify
the world, which includes rectifying the destructive character trait of
jealousy. We learn this from the repentance of Korach’s sons, who were saved
from punishment. In a moment of truth, they succeeded in uprooting the natural
jealousy buried in their souls. Thereby they taught all future generations that
it’s possible to rectify sin. This is “a descent for the sake of ascent!” in
the deepest sense! (Rav Yugav Kohen, The Primordial Serpent, Kayin, and
Korach). Thus, through tears of heartfelt teshuva, the sons of Korach were
able to melt their hereditary ice of arrogance and transform it into streams of
fluid waters, always flowing towards the lowest humblest point!
EmunaHealing Exercise to Overcome Jealousy and Feel Happy with
Your Portion
It is recommended to do this EmunaHealing exercise near a natural
body of water, whether on the beach, at a lake, river, or a spring.
1. Rest in your place of comfort and focus on your even breath.
Breathe slowly through your nostrils as you allow your mind to focus on the
special gifts of your life.
2. What do you have to be grateful for? Perhaps you can think
about some special G-d-given talents that you possess. Then let your mind
wander to counting your blessings. If you have children how wonderful! if you
have a supportive husband, what a blessing! We also mustn’t take physical
health for granted. If you can get out of bed in the mornings, walk around and
use your hands to do simple chores you are privileged! If you can see the
beautiful flowers, hear the birds sing, taste delicacies, and smell the roses,
how fortunate you are!
3. Shift your consciousness to your accomplishments in life! In which
skills do you excel? Perhaps you are a great communicator, listener, homemaker,
baker, cleaner, hostess, daughter, healer, singer, musician, writer, teacher,
or artist. Perhaps you have other talents that you employ to help people and
better your environment. How blessed you are to have honed these skills to
shine upon the world. Breathe into your accomplishments and let the feeling of
gratitude fill your heart, spilling over into every limb of your body.
4. Yet, despite your gifts and accomplishments perhaps there may
still be a tinge of jealousy somewhere in your conscious or unconscious mind.
It may be loud and strong or weak and hidden in the recesses of your heart. We
need to bring our feelings of jealousy up to the surface in order to uproot
them.
5. Now, acknowledge your jealousy: Is there anyone in your life that seems to be more successful, and accomplished than you? Do you
sometimes wish that you had what she has? Perhaps you are harboring other
jealous feelings? Just recognizing that you’re having these feelings opens the
door to letting them go.
6. Perhaps your jealous feelings can help you learn more about
yourself, about your insecurities and needs. Ask yourself the following
question: “What am I most afraid of in this situation?” Breathe into this
question and open yourself to receive an answer. Let the answer penetrate every
fiber of your being and continue asking: Are those learned beliefs/feelings
really relevant to my current circumstances? Am I willing to identify the old
fears and let them pass?” Now, open yourself to finding new ways to let go of
learned beliefs/ feelings and alleviate your fears. Breathe into these feelings and fears and envision them melting
away.
7. Often the underlying cause of jealousy is the feeling that
there isn’t enough of whatever it is you desire. If others have what you want,
you may fear that there isn’t enough for you to also receive your proper share.
Ask yourself: “How did I learn to believe there is not enough (love, approval,
etc.) to go around? And listen for the answer.
8. Breathe into the Talmudic statement: “No person may touch that
which is prepared for another by G-d; everyone receives what is designated for
him. One reign does not overlap with another and deduct from the time allotted
it even a hairbreadth” (Yoma 38b).
9. Acknowledge that if it were good for you to have any of the
things you envy in others, G-d would have also given you this. So, if He did
not give it to you, then it is certainly not beneficial for you. Acknowledge
that you truly have everything you need right now!!!!!! Breathe into this feeling of gratitude and
proclaim: “I have everything I need right now!” Then open your eyes to a
brighter world belonging to you!
Monday, June 20, 2022
Prayer for Overcoming the Tendencies of Jealousy, Competition, and Honor-Seeking
Prayer for Overcoming the Tendencies
of Jealousy, Competition, and Honor-Seeking
ספר במדבר פרק טז פסוק א וַיִּקַּח קֹרַח בֶּן יִצְהָר בֶּן קְהָת בֶּן לֵוִי וְדָתָן וַאֲבִירָם בְּנֵי אֱלִיאָב וְאוֹן בֶּן פֶּלֶת בְּנֵי רְאוּבֵן:
“Korach the son of Yitzhar, the son of Kahat, the son of Levi took [himself to one side] along with Datan and Aviram, the sons of Eliav, and On the son of Pelet, descendants of Reuven. They confronted Moshe together with two hundred and fifty men from the children of Israel, chieftains of the congregation, representatives of the assembly, men of repute. They assembled against Moshe and Aharon, and said to them, ‘You take too much upon yourselves, for the entire congregation are all holy, and Hashem is in their midst. So why do you raise yourselves above Hashem’s assembly?’” (Bamidbar 16:1-3).
KORACH… TOOK - He took himself to one side to dissociate himself from the congregation, to contest the [appointment of Aaron to the] kehuna. This is what Onkelos means when he renders it וְאִתְפְּלֵג/ve’itpeleg, “and he separated himself.” He separated himself from the congregation to persist in a dispute… Now what made Korach decide to quarrel with Moshe? He envied the chieftainship of Elitzaphan the son of Uziel whom Moshe appointed as chieftain over the sons of Kahat by the [Divine] word. Korach claimed, “My father and his brothers were four [in number]” as it says, “The sons of Kahat were…” (Shemot 6:18). Amram was the first, and his two sons received greatness-one a king and one a kohen gadol. Who is entitled to receive the second [position]? Is it not I, who am the son of Yitzhar, who is the second brother to Amram? And yet, he [Moshe] appointed to the chieftainship the son of his youngest brother! I hereby oppose him and will invalidate his word (Midrash Tanchuma Korach 1; Bamidbar Rabbah 18:2, quoted by Rashi, Bamidbar 16:1).




