Parashat Balak: Are Entitlement Expectations in Relationships a Trait Inherited from Bilam?

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Parashat Balak

Are Entitlement Expectations in Relationships a Trait Inherited from Bilam?

How Does Letting Go of Expectations Help Keep Us Content?
Our unrealistic expectations cause frustration and disappointment. We make our lives miserable with any expectations we have of people, situations, and what we feel entitled to receive. With this kind of attitude, we can G-d forbid easily become addicted to material goods and expressions of appreciation. If I expect a sweet thank you phone call in return for spending time selecting a special birthday gift for my granddaughter, I could get upset if she only writes me a short thank you message. So, I have learned, that to keep myself happy I must stop expecting anything. If I didn’t expect any expression of gratitude, I would be so grateful for a short thank you message even without any emoji. Over the years in my interactions with my students, I have noticed the difference between those who make demands and those who make humble requests, whether for getting their doorknob fixed, receiving more respect from fellow students, changing their tutor or study partner, or for a change in B’erot lunch menu. Beneath the demands are the disappointed expectations of a self-important person who feels entitled to be treated like a princess. Yet the exact same wants can be expressed completely differently when they derive from the humility of accepting that it may not work out to fill all their needs at a given time. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” isn’t limited to its superficial meaning that you can win people to your side more easily by gentle persuasion than by hostile confrontation. In my experience, I’m naturally much more prone to extend myself to do everything in my power to fulfill a humble request rather than an entitled demand. Whereas I’m repelled when people relate to me as a servant created to fulfill their needs, I will even anticipate, serve, and accommodate the unexpressed needs of others. Being the director of a midrasha with students from the four corners of the world, I have learned to appreciate the differences between some of those who emerge from the Western culture influenced by the greedy Esav always wanting more, and students from the East especially from India, who come from a very humble and respectful culture. Yet we Jews returning to Israel – to our ancestors’ spiritual heritage – are learning to return to the character traits of a good eye, humility, and modest desires that Avraham our Father possessed. 

What is the Difference between Spirituality and Holiness?
I often speak about the difference between spirituality and holiness. Whereas a person can be very spiritual but rotten to the core, holiness is G-dliness, and can only emerge from the light of a person with a refined character. Although Bilam was known as a uniquely spiritual person highly attuned to G-d’s will, his spirituality was drawn from the depths of tumah (impurity). In contrast, the spiritual greatness of Moshe and Avraham was enveloped in the highest realms of kedusha – sanctity. Holiness is ohr – the pure refraction of Hashem’s light that requires a suitable vessel – a receptacle of sterling character traits that match the light it needs to contain. Spirituality is at great risk of falling to a place of tumah and darkness without such a vessel to hold the light. Bilam is the perfect example of a spiritual person lacking holiness. Whereas Avraham was generous, humble, and modest, Bilam was self-centered, arrogant, and driven by money and all it could buy.

פרקי אבות פרק ה פסוק יט כָּל מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּיָדוֹ שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים הַלָּלוּ, מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ. וּשְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים אֲחֵרִים, מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל בִּלְעָם הָרָשָׁע. עַיִן טוֹבָה, וְרוּחַ נְמוּכָה, וְנֶפֶשׁ שְׁפָלָה, מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ. עַיִן רָעָה, וְרוּחַ גְּבוֹהָה, וְנֶפֶשׁ רְחָבָה, מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל בִּלְעָם הָרָשָׁע:

Whoever possesses these three things, he is of the disciples of Avraham, our father; and [whoever possesses] three other things, he is of the disciples of Bilam, the wicked. A good eye, a humble spirit, and modest desires are the traits of the disciples of Avraham, our father. An evil eye, a haughty spirit, and unbridled desires are the traits of the disciples of the wicked Bilam (Pirkei Avot 5:19).

How Do the Rabbis Learn of Bilam’s Trifold Negative Character Traits?
Firstly, Bilam’s mission – for which he was hired – was to curse the Jewish people, by casting an evil eye upon them. He was suitable for this job since he was an expert at bringing attention to the negative points of others. Being a master of the evil eye, his magic was to highlight the dark points of others, thus claiming that they didn’t deserve their blessings. Bilam also displayed his money greed – to which he felt entitled – by demanding a greater salary for his shady job:

ספר במדבר פרק כב פסוק יח וַיַּעַן בִּלְעָם וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל עַבְדֵי בָלָק אִם יִתֶּן לִי בָלָק מְלֹא בֵיתוֹ כֶּסֶף וְזָהָב לֹא אוּכַל לַעֲבֹר אֶת פִּי הָשֵׁם אֱלֹהָי לַעֲשׂוֹת קְטַנָּה אוֹ גְדוֹלָה:

“Bilam answered and said to Balak’s servants, ‘Even if Balak gives me a house full of silver and gold, I cannot do anything small or great that would transgress the word of Hashem, my G-d’” (Bamidbar 22:18).

Rashi explains that by mentioning A HOUSE FULL OF SILVER AND GOLD - Bilam exposed how he was greedy and coveted other people’s money. He said, “He ought to give me all his silver and gold, since he has to hire many armies, and even then, it is questionable whether he will be victorious or not, whereas I will certainly succeed.” [Midrash Tanchuma Balak; Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah 20:10]; (Rashi, Bamidbar 22:18). Moreover, Bilam wasn’t embarrassed to display his arrogance and honor-seeking when he twisted the reason why Hashem told him not to go with Balak’s entourage to curse Israel:

ספר במדבר פרק כב פסוק יב וַיֹּאמֶר אֱלֹהִים אֶל בִּלְעָם לֹא תֵלֵךְ עִמָּהֶם לֹא תָאר אֶת הָעָם כִּי בָרוּךְ הוּא: (יג) וַיָּקָם בִּלְעָם בַּבֹּקֶר וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל שָׂרֵי בָלָק לְכוּ אֶל אַרְצְכֶם כִּי מֵאֵן הָשֵׁם לְתִתִּי לַהֲלֹךְ עִמָּכֶם:

“G-d said to Bilam, ‘You shall not go with them! You shall not curse the people because they are blessed.’ When Bilam arose in the morning, he said to Balak’s nobles, ‘Return to your country, for Hashem has refused to let me go with you’” (Bamidbar 22:12-13).

Although Hashem very clearly tells him not to go with the Moabite officers to curse the Jews because the Jewish nation is blessed, Bilam reports this to the Moabite officers: “Hashem has refused to let me go with you.” Inferring that he will only be permitted to go with greater nobles. This shows us that he was conceited and unwilling to reveal that he was under the control of the Omnipresent except in an arrogant manner. Therefore, Balak had to sent… again…” (verse 15) - [Mid. Tanchuma Balak 6, Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah 20:10], (Rashi, Bamidbar 22:13). Entitlement is always toxic. It comes with arrogance, pride, and selfishness. Entitlement is operating under the delusion that you deserve something you have not yet earned.

All the Lonely People Where Do They All Come From?
I sometimes come across people who twist what others tell them in a way that sadly hurts themselves. My heart goes out to “all the lonely people…” although I may have a cue to answer, “…Where do they all come from?” They come from a place of misery that makes them feel entitled to their neediness. In their demand to belong, they feel abandoned, excluded, and ousted. I know such a lonely woman with a heart of gold, whose intense desire to belong causes her the most painful rejections. Since she is going through such horrific hardships without adequate support, when someone reaches out to her and offers her a little loving companionship, she will hang on to it for dear life. This attitude of entitlement to belong sets a vicious circle in motion where the one who initially reached out must set proper boundaries so that the relationship will not become imbalanced by the intensity of her need to belong, which greatly exceeds the ability of others to include her. The feeling of entitlement causes the lonely person to view the one who sets boundaries as mean, insensitive, and hurtful. Yes, I have been blamed for such traits, and even worse, when I invited a certain lonely woman to join my midrasha for a Shabbatton. When she insisted on coming again the following Shabbat and possibly every Shabbat, to hang out with the students, I had to set clear boundaries to ensure she wouldn’t overstay her welcome. I offered her to stay once a month in the company of the B’erot community where she feels she belongs. Had she only accepted my very best offer to be a monthly, beloved guest, she could have gained the companionship she so much craves. But no, due to her complicated family situation and her need for others to take on that role, she insisted that by limiting the times when she could join my midrasha, I was betraying her, sinning against her, hurting and breaking her. Sadly, she now shoots herself in the foot, refusing to wear any label and outfit upon which is written ‘monthly guest!’” which according to her “I think she should wear!” So my heart is crying for that lonely soul who can be so kind and loving at times, but who causes herself to remain in her loneliness through her grand expectations of others, which prevents her from receiving the finger as long as she cannot get the whole hand. I will continue to pray for this lonely unsupported woman who is going through so much hardship, what else can I do?

Gratitude Focus for the Week of Parashat Balak –

Some Tips for Letting Go of Expectations

It may be natural to expect our loved ones to support us during tough times. Unfortunately, in life, our expectations are constantly disappointed. Inevitably, our friends let us down, and when our expectations are not met, we are left feeling disappointed, hurt, angry, and resentful. Even though I empathize with the pain of being disappointed, I also reflect how often we end up just hurting ourselves, when we put high expectations on others. I have realized that lowering your expectations is the key to healthy and happy relationships. Often expectations can turn into entitlement. We feel entitled to be treated in certain ways, and when we aren’t, it can be confronting and disappointing. A common ‘entitlement’ expectation is in the way people communicate. For example, people who are reliable communicators will often become frustrated with others who are unclear, unreliable communicators. We may assume expectations of friends based on our values, not theirs. I was assuming that my friend also believed that you don’t ignore the messages of someone you care about. Thus, resenting her for ‘ignoring’ me was actually coming from a place of entitlement.

•        Prioritize Appreciation Over Expectations – Learn to trade expectations for appreciation, and your entire relationship – and life – will change. Instead of focusing on the negative, make a point to value what others can offer you. This will take you much further in your relationship. If you pay attention, there’s always something to appreciate. Appreciate your invitations to monthly dinner parties even if you would have preferred to be invited to weekly feasts. Appreciation can help put an end to your unhealthy expectations in a relationship.

•     Demonstrate Consideration – Healthy relationships hinge on consideration for others, their interests, and their relationship expectations. To show consideration, you must make a point to value your relationship over your relationship expectations. This is a real challenge since it’s easy to view your expectations or ‘rules’ as the basis of your relationship. When you value your partner over your rules, this paves the way for fulfilling both people’s expectations.

  ·       Be Grateful for the Good Points – Gratitude is our major defense against the wrath of entitlement that screams at others, and all they do, “It is simply NOT ENOUGH!” Yet, gratitude will help fill you with hope and belief in your friend, sister, daughter, or spouse.

  ·   Avoid Repetition – If you are in an argumentative pattern in your relationship, change your approach. If you don’t, you risk creating a circular loop where neither party is heard, leaving both feeling defeated. Take the high road and bow out of an argument. Take a break to regroup and consider what you’re really arguing about. When you make this a habit, you set a high standard for what to expect in a relationship.

  ·      Never Question the Nature of Your Relationship – When it comes to learning how to manage expectations in a relationship, one of the worst missteps you can make is questioning the intent of others. When you question the very nature of your relationship, it breaks down trust, which takes a toll on even the strongest connection. Just because you’re having issues doesn’t mean the relationship itself is a problem.

  ·     Never Threaten Your Relationship – One of the primary expectations in a relationship is that there will be give and take and mutual dialogue. Threatening your relationship with ultimatums doesn’t accomplish anything, since it shuts down communication. If you’re at the point of threatening the other person, it’s time to take a break and rethink the conversation.

What can we Learn from Korach’s Example About Uprooting Jealousy?

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What Can we Learn from Korach’s Example About Uprooting Jealousy? 

Jealousy Removes a Person from the Inner World

I was told that as a toddler, I was very jealous of my younger sister, and would often hit her. I observed the same phenomenon in my two oldest granddaughters when they were little. Now as teenagers, they have become each other’s best friends. Unfortunately, not everyone grows out of the negative emotion of jealousy, which often rips families apart. One reason childhood sibling rivalry may turn into jealousy in adulthood is that families sometimes promote unhealthy competition between children, which can cause sibling jealousy to linger into adulthood. For example, a parent may lavish attention on a child who is more academic, athletic, musical, etc. than another. The underlying motive of jealousy is often feelings of inadequacy. If you are struggling with jealousy keep in mind that it likely stems from your own insecurities and has nothing to do with the other person. Don’t let these feelings ruin what could otherwise be a great relationship! And don’t let them build up either – so you won’t start resenting a family member and causing the relationship to deteriorate. “Jealousy, lust, and [desire for] honor remove a person from the world” (Pirkei Avot 4:22). These traits may cause whoever is immersed in them to exit the real world and live inside a bubble detached from reality. According to Da’at Zekenim becoming removed from the world indicates becoming removed from the inner spiritual world to the external physical world. A person could become so enmeshed in the external physical world, to the extent that he is so divested of the spiritual, that he completely “removes himself’ from the inner world. The entire existence of the jealous person is that he sees something precious his friend has which he lacks. He imagines that if only he could attain that thing, his suffering would be over, and he would live happily ever after. But his jealousy makes him forget the fundamental principle that if this were good for you, G-d would have given it to you too. And if He did not give you this, then it is certainly not beneficial for you.

Reincarnation of Kayin – the First One in the World to be Jealous

Parashat Korach teaches us the underpinning of jealousy and its consequences. Korach’s ego could not bear to see Moshe as the king, Aharon as the Kohen Gadol (High Priest), while he was just another Levite. Arizal explains that Korach and Moshe were reincarnations of Kayin and Hevel (Abel) (Sha’ar HaGilgulim, Ch. 29 and 32). After Kayin had murdered Hevel it states, “…You are cursed even more than the ground, which opened its mouth to take your brother’s blood from your hand” (Bereishit 4:11). In the reincarnation of Korach, Kayin’s soul returned to rise against Hevel’s soul (reincarnated in Moshe). To complete the spiritual rectification, measure for measure, it was now the soul of Hevel that buried the soul of Kayin in the earth, as it states, “The earth beneath them opened its mouth and swallowed them…” (Bamidbar 16:32). Nevertheless, Moshe and Aharon prayed to prevent this tragedy as it states:

ספר במדבר פרק טז פסוק כב וַיִּפְּלוּ עַל פְּנֵיהֶם וַיֹּאמְרוּ אֵל אֱלֹהֵי הָרוּחֹת לְכָל בָּשָׂר הָאִישׁ אֶחָד יֶחֱטָא וְעַל כָּל הָעֵדָה תִּקְצֹף:

“They fell on their faces and said, ‘O G-d, the G-d of the spirits of all flesh, if one man sins, shall You be angry with the whole congregation?” (Bamidbar 16:22).

The reason they addressed Hashem as “the G-d of the הָרוּחֹת/ruchot – ‘spirits’ rather than ‘the G-d of the נְשָׁמוֹת/neshamot – ‘souls’ is because jealousy is manifested specifically through the רוּחַ/ruach – ‘spirit.’ Korach’s ruach was the jealous spirit of Kayin. He was envious of Moshe who was a reincarnation of Hevel (HaRamaz on Zohar Bamidbar, p. 461). Korach’s sin is rooted in Kayin’s jealousy of Hevel whose offering found favor in G-d’s eyes. Hevel was the prototype of the Kohen Gadol, who offers the temple sacrifice. Kayin wanted to be chosen for this role – so he killed Hevel. In the same way, Korach was envious of Aharon’s eternal role as the Kohen Gadol of G-d’s Temple, so he tried to destroy him (Rabbi Avraham Greenbaum, Universal Torah Lessons for Humanity from the Weekly Parsha).

Icy Versus Watery Character Traits
The Zohar describes the birth of Kayin as due to the spiritual pollution that the serpent had injected into Chava (Zohar Chadash p. 63b). Korach’s spirit retained the spiritual pollution of the primordial serpent that originally was absorbed by Kayin. Just as the serpent was motivated by its jealousy of Adam, so was Korach jealous of the Elitzafan being appointed to be the leader of the Kehatites (Rashi, Bamidbar 16:10). Moshe and Korach represent two types of people, indicated by their names. The name ‘Moshe,’ means min hamayim meshitihu, “For I drew him out of the water” (Shemot 2:10), whereas the name ‘Korach,’ has the exact same Hebrew spelling as kerach – ice. Moshe represents water; Korach represents ice. Ice is cold, hard, and unyielding, expanding ever larger as it freezes, symbolic of an inflating ego. Water is fluid, life-giving, and always flows to the lowest possible point, symbolic of humility. Our lesson is to emulate the watery traits of Moshe, rather than the frozen qualities of Korach. (Efraim Palvano https://www.mayimachronim.com/moses-and-korach-abel-and-Kayin-water-and-ice/).

The Rectified Jealousy of the Sons of Korach
Despite the devastating effect of jealousy, it is possible to use this trait to enact repair on the deepest level. Looking at the inner dimension of jealousy it becomes clear that through it we receive the ability to rectify the world, which includes rectifying the destructive character trait of jealousy. We learn this from the repentance of Korach’s sons, who were saved from punishment. In a moment of truth, they succeeded in uprooting the natural jealousy buried in their souls. Thereby they taught all future generations that it’s possible to rectify sin. This is “a descent for the sake of ascent!” in the deepest sense! (Rav Yugav Kohen, The Primordial Serpent, Kayin, and Korach). Thus, through tears of heartfelt teshuva, the sons of Korach were able to melt their hereditary ice of arrogance and transform it into streams of fluid waters, always flowing towards the lowest humblest point!

EmunaHealing Exercise to Overcome Jealousy and Feel Happy with Your Portion
It is recommended to do this EmunaHealing exercise near a natural body of water, whether on the beach, at a lake, river, or a spring.
1. Rest in your place of comfort and focus on your even breath. Breathe slowly through your nostrils as you allow your mind to focus on the special gifts of your life.
2. What do you have to be grateful for? Perhaps you can think about some special G-d-given talents that you possess. Then let your mind wander to counting your blessings. If you have children how wonderful! if you have a supportive husband, what a blessing! We also mustn’t take physical health for granted. If you can get out of bed in the mornings, walk around and use your hands to do simple chores you are privileged! If you can see the beautiful flowers, hear the birds sing, taste delicacies, and smell the roses, how fortunate you are!
3. Shift your consciousness to your accomplishments in life! In which skills do you excel? Perhaps you are a great communicator, listener, homemaker, baker, cleaner, hostess, daughter, healer, singer, musician, writer, teacher, or artist. Perhaps you have other talents that you employ to help people and better your environment. How blessed you are to have honed these skills to shine upon the world. Breathe into your accomplishments and let the feeling of gratitude fill your heart, spilling over into every limb of your body.
4. Yet, despite your gifts and accomplishments perhaps there may still be a tinge of jealousy somewhere in your conscious or unconscious mind. It may be loud and strong or weak and hidden in the recesses of your heart. We need to bring our feelings of jealousy up to the surface in order to uproot them. 
5. Now, acknowledge your jealousy: Is there anyone in your life that seems to be more successful, and accomplished than you?  Do you sometimes wish that you had what she has?  Perhaps you are harboring other jealous feelings? Just recognizing that you’re having these feelings opens the door to letting them go.
6. Perhaps your jealous feelings can help you learn more about yourself, about your insecurities and needs. Ask yourself the following question: “What am I most afraid of in this situation?” Breathe into this question and open yourself to receive an answer. Let the answer penetrate every fiber of your being and continue asking: Are those learned beliefs/feelings really relevant to my current circumstances? Am I willing to identify the old fears and let them pass?” Now, open yourself to finding new ways to let go of learned beliefs/ feelings and alleviate your fears. Breathe into these feelings and fears and envision them melting away.
7. Often the underlying cause of jealousy is the feeling that there isn’t enough of whatever it is you desire. If others have what you want, you may fear that there isn’t enough for you to also receive your proper share. Ask yourself: “How did I learn to believe there is not enough (love, approval, etc.) to go around? And listen for the answer.
8. Breathe into the Talmudic statement: “No person may touch that which is prepared for another by G-d; everyone receives what is designated for him. One reign does not overlap with another and deduct from the time allotted it even a hairbreadth” (Yoma 38b).
9. Acknowledge that if it were good for you to have any of the things you envy in others, G-d would have also given you this. So, if He did not give it to you, then it is certainly not beneficial for you. Acknowledge that you truly have everything you need right now!!!!!!  Breathe into this feeling of gratitude and proclaim: “I have everything I need right now!” Then open your eyes to a brighter world belonging to you!

Prayer for Shedding Our Undesirable Traits and Opening Ourselves to Hashem’s Calling

Parashat Vayikra

Prayer for Shedding Our Undesirable Traits

and Opening Ourselves to Hashem’s Calling
 
Hashem, help me my selfish husk to expel,
all the meanness which is part of my shell!
 
Each and every lustful urge,
I desire once and for all to purge.
 
Like the serpent exchanging its skin,
help me strip away every single sin!
 
Every outgrown character trait I gladly shed,
dressing up in compassion and kindness instead.
 
Like a bloody sacrifice of meat,
I cast my shell beneath Your feet!
 
Let Your sacrifices be my broken heart,
desiring to remove my unworthy part!
 
Guide me to give only what is truly my own,
so for all my unworthiness I may atone!
 
Grant me the renewed spirit I yearn to receive,
so, that I may to Your holy Presence cleave!
 
Like you called Moshe from your meeting Tent,
Call me, so my soul too will receive an ascent!
 
Let me remain in holiness without falling,
so, I can open myself to hear Your calling!
 
May I keep dancing to the beat of Your drum,
following You wherever You want me to come!
 
When all life’s superfluous tarnished static fall away,
then the inner light will illuminate both night and day!
 
Show me to reach for the light even during stress,
Then through thick and thin Your Name I will bless!
 
Open my ears and heart to perpetually stay in tune,
sensing Mashiach’s fragrant presence coming soon!

Based on the Book of Vayikra Chapter 1 and 2.

ספר ויקרא פרק א פסוק א וַיִּקְרָא אֶל משֶׁה וַיְדַבֵּר הַשֵּׁם אֵלָיו מֵאֹהֶל מוֹעֵד לֵאמֹר: (ב) דַּבֵּר אֶל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם אָדָם כִּי יַקְרִיב מִכֶּם קָרְבָּן לַהַשֵּׁם מִן הַבְּהֵמָה מִן הַבָּקָר וּמִן הַצֹּאן תַּקְרִיבוּ אֶת קָרְבַּנְכֶם:

“He called to Moshe, and Hashem spoke to him from the Tent of Meeting, saying, ‘Speak to the children of Israel and say to them: When a man from [among] you brings a sacrifice to Hashem; from animals, from cattle or from the flock you shall bring your sacrifice” (Vayikra 1:1-2).

בב

רש"י על ויקרא פרק א פסוק ב 

אדם - למה נאמר מה אדם הראשון לא הקריב מן הגזל שהכל היה שלו אף אתם לא תקריבו מן הגזל:

Heb.אָדָם /Adam - Why is this term used here [as opposed to אִיש/Ish? [It alludes to Adam, the first man on earth, and teaches us:] Just as Adam, the first man, never offered sacrifices from stolen property, since everything was his, so too, you must not offer sacrifices from stolen property [Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 2:7]; (Rashi, Vayikra 1:2). 

ספר ויקרא פרק ב פסוק א

וְנֶפֶשׁ כִּי תַקְרִיב קָרְבַּן מִנְחָה לַהַשֵּׁם סֹלֶת יִהְיֶה קָרְבָּנוֹ וְיָצַק עָלֶיהָ שֶׁמֶן וְנָתַן עָלֶיהָ לְבֹנָה:

“And if a person brings a meal offering to Hashem, his offering shall be of fine flour. He shall pour oil over it and place frankincense upon it” (Vayikra 2:2)..          

ספורנו עה"ת ספר ויקרא פרק א פסוק ב                                                                                                                     אדם כי יקריב מכם. כי יקריב מעצמכם בוידוי דברים והכנעה, על דרך ונשלמה פרים שפתינו וכאמרו זבחי אלהים רוח נשברה כי אין חפץ בכסילים המקריבים בלתי הכנעה קודמת,  אמרו ז"ל מכם ולא כולכם, להוציא את המשומד:

When you bring yourselves close to G-d by means of sacrificing your essence through confession by humbling yourselves as it states וּנְשַׁלְּמָה פָרִים שְׂפָתֵינוּ - “…we will pay with bulls after having done so first with our lips” (Hoshea 14:3) King David says זִבְחֵי אֱלֹהִים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה - “The sacrifices of G-d are a broken spirit” (Tehillim 51:19). For G-d is not interested in the fools who offer sacrificial animals if they have not first humbled themselves. Our sages paraphrase this when pointing out that the Torah does not write here כּוּלְכֶם/kulchem – ‘your entire selves,’ but מִכֶּם/mikem – ‘something emanating from you,’ i.e., “by excreting the spiritually unworthy parts of you” (Sforno, Vayikra 1:2).

 

ספר תהילים פרק נא פסוק יט זִבְחֵי אֱלֹהִים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה לֵב נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה אֱלֹהִים לֹא תִבְזֶה:

“The sacrifices of G-d are a broken spirit; O G-d, You will not despise a broken and crushed heart” (Tehillim 51:19)