Walk Modestly with Your G-d

Haftorat Balak, The Tenth book of Trei-Assar (The Twelve Minor Prophets)
The Book of Michah 5:6-6:8
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This week’s haftorah includes the famous verse regarding walking modestly with Hashem. I would like to call on you, dear reader, to share your perspective on how to apply this principle in our time. I’m also interested in your opinion about co-ed college bathrooms.

The Connection between the Haftorah and the Torah Reading
This week's haftorah reveals Hashem's amazing love for His people. It opens by describing the messianic epoch when there will no longer be any need to turn to other nations for assistance. Prior to the war of Gog and Magog the mighty nations of the world will assemble against Israel. However, Israel will turn into a strong “lion among the beasts of the forest,” no longer relying on the other nations, but finally triumphing over all of them. At that time, the Jewish people will place their full trust in Hashem and recognize that salvation comes from Him alone. Michah continues describing the purification process during the Messianic era, leading to complete belief in the one true G-d by all the people in the world. Hashem will remove all the weapons of war from Israel, because they will no longer be needed. In the same vein, Hashem will destroy all forms of idolatry including sorcery, fortunetellers, and the Asherah trees. Michah recalls some of the ways in which Hashem protected Israel during our 40 year journey in the wilderness. He mentions the incident of Balak the king of Moav hiring the sorcerer Bilam to curse the Jewish people – the main topic of this week's Torah reading. He describes how Hashem delivered Israel from Egypt and replaced the curses that Bilam, son of Beor, tried to utter against them with blessings. Thus, this is an appropriate haftorah for parashat Balak. Michah concludes the haftorah with advice regarding the main thing Hashem requests of us, namely to: perform justice, love kindness and walk modestly with Hashem.

Miriam – Inspirational Teacher of Women
Among the many great things Hashem did for us, that we need to properly appreciate was providing us with excellent leadership: "For I brought you up out of the land of Mitzrayim, and redeemed you out of the house of slavery, and I sent before you Moshe, Aharon and Miriam" (Michah 6:4). Reading about this great team of Jewish leaders at the present time can also be seen as a tribute to Aharon the Kohen and Miriam, the prophetess, who passed away in last week’s parashah, Parashat Chukat. Targum Yonatan adds in his translation of this verse: “Miriam to teach the women,” just like Moshe Rabbeinu was the first "Rosh Yeshiva," Miriam was the first Torah teacher of the Jewish women. Rav Aviner explains how humanity is created in the image of G-d, both male and female. Our physical and spiritual differences, make it impossible to teach men and women in the same manner. Each gender has its own way of learning and requires its own separate guidance.

If Miriam is the role-model for all female Torah educators of women, why is it not mentioned directly in the Torah that Miriam was the teacher of women? I believe this is to teach us a vital difference between the teaching method of men and women. Since, men are more rigid and scientific; they need formal teaching such as lectures. However, women learn from many different modalities of education. In a formal lesson, only the intellect is speaking. In real life, the entire personality relates. Since women sometimes learn more from behavior in real life than from a formal shiur (lecture), Miriam did not necessarily apply the formal way of teaching. In the national bestseller, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, Deborah Tannen explains that men report while women “rapport.” Whereas, men seek information, women care most about “gaining closeness through more intimate self-revelation.” For this reason, Miriam is not described directly in the Torah as “the teacher of women,” because she was not a formal teacher. When she went among the women with her tambourine and danced, they were motivated to get up and join her exhilarating praise of Hashem. It didn't state that Miriam told the women to go out with drums and dances, only that “Miriam the prophetess…took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances” (Shemot 15:20). It was her charismatic personality and righteousness, which inspired the Jewish women to follow her lead. Miriam, the prophetess, taught all the daughters of Israel by way of her righteous deeds. From Miriam, the entire nation of women learned how to improve their behavior and connect with Hashem.

“Walk Modestly With Your G d."
The conclusion of our haftorah describes how in the messianic era, the Jewish people ask for guidance how to serve G-d. The prophet reminds us, that all we need to do is contained within the Torah and the mitzvoth, which he sums up as follows: "He has told you, O man, what is good, and what G d requires of you: only to do justice, love kindness, and walk modestly with your G-d" (Michah 6:8). The Hebrew term for “modestly” used in this verse derives from the root of the word tzniut. This teaches us about the vital importance of tzniut for men, as well as women, especially in the messianic age. The three most important character-traits we need to cultivate are justice, chesed (kindness) and tzniut. It is easy to understand the centrality of kindness and justice in the Torah. Hashem created the entire world for the sake of chesed (Tehillim 89:3), and the Torah is permeated with stories of the chesed of our patriarchs and matriarchs. Without justice, the world cannot continue to exist. Therefore, establishing a court of justice is even among the seven mitzvoth for B’nei Noach (gentiles). However, what is so important about tzniut, that it is included in the three main attributes Hashem requires of us?

It is interesting to note that only tzniut is described as walking with Hashem. Although some mistranslations may read “before your G-d,” the Hebrew word im does not mean “before,” but rather “with” (Maharzav, Bemidbar Rabah 1). Through developing the mida of tzniut, we emulate the ways of Hashem as the following midrash demonstrates:

"'Hashem spoke to Moshe in the ohel moed (the private tent of meeting)' (Bamidbar 1:1). Hashem had spoken to Moshe earlier from the burning bush, in Mitzrayim and in Sinai. Once the ohel moed stood, Hashem said: tzniut (modesty) is beautiful, as it says, '. . . to walk modestly with your G-d' (Michah 6:8). So said David, 'Every honorable bat melech (princess) dwells within' (Tehillim 45:14). Bat Melech refers to Moshe . . . Hashem said, 'Such is My honor, that I will speak from within the ohel moed"' (Bemidbar Rabah 1:3).

Rabbi Mordechai Willig learns from this midrash, that our pasuk from Michah refers not only to man’s tzniut before G-d, but also to Hashem’s own modest behavior. Hashem acts with utmost tzniut by speaking from the interior covered space of the ohel moed. We acquire closeness to Hashem by emulating Him through tzniut behavior. Therefore, we must be tzanua with Hashem, who modeled tzniut to the point of being invisible.

Co-ed Bathrooms and the Honor of the King’s Daughter
In contrast, I was made aware by some of my Shabbat guests, that the female students in certain very well respected colleges, like Yale, have no option but to share bathrooms with their fellow male students. “What exactly is wrong with co-ed bathrooms?” asked my guest. “There is nothing specific in the Torah against that.” I’m not even going to attempt answering the question, as the issue seems to me so basic that it doesn’t need any particular command. I am saddened about how decadent our Western society has become, that we have lost all sense of decency and modesty. Even the Moabite women were permitted to convert to Judaism precisely because of the notion of modesty. While the Moabite men are forbidden to convert, “because they met you not with bread and with water in the way, when you came out of Miztrayim” (Devarim 23:4-5), this did not apply to the Moabite women, since it is not the way of a woman to go out towards wayfarers, to bring them bread and water (Babylonian Talmud, Yevamot 77a). Now tell me, is it the way of a woman and “the honor of a king’s daughter” to go out to the co-ed bathroom, brushing her teeth next to a man shaving, even if she is perfectly covered by her bathrobe?

“Tzniut is Beautiful”
Although tzniut applies to men and women alike, women have the potential to express this attribute to an even greater extent. Perhaps, this capability is related to the inherent beauty of women. The phrase “tzniut is beautiful” is a recurring theme in the Oral Torah. In our midrash from Bemidbar Rabah, Hashem calls tzniut beautiful. Prior to the giving of the second luchot (tablets), Hashem told Moshe, “No man shall ascend with you [up the mountain]” (Shemot 34:3). Rashi explains, “…there is nothing more beautiful than modesty.” The Torah giant and landowner Boaz, noticed Ruth because of her exceptional tzniut (Rashi, Ruth 2:5).The midrash commenting on this verse, explains, that since he [Boaz] saw her beautiful deeds, he asked about her (Ruth Rabah 4:6). Through her beautiful deeds, Ruth merited to become the mother of royalty, the ancestress of King David, and ultimately, the Mashiach. Likewise, if we, Jewish women learn to excel in tzniut and model exemplary modest behavior, in spite of the immodest spirit prevailing in our current Western society, we will G-d willing walk with Hashem on the path of our final redemption.

The Pilegesh in Our Times

Haftorah Parashat Chukat

Shoftim 11:1-33

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The Connection between the Haftorah and the Torah Reading

This week’s haftorah describes how the people of Israel were attacked by the nation of Ammon, whereupon the elders of Israel called upon Yiftach to battle with Ammon. Yiftach attempted to negotiate a peaceful resolution by sending a delegation to reason with the king of Ammon, but the latter remained inflexible. Yiftach then successfully led his countrymen in battle. They were victorious and eliminated the Ammonite threat, and Yiftach became the leader of Israel. The haftorah is connected to Parashat Chukat by teaching us the importance of absolute support for our acknowledged Torah leadership. Yiftach was the recognized leader and a prophet, although logically, he wasn’t the most suitable candidate for leadership. His maternal lineage was questionable, and he was not the greatest scholar. Nevertheless, he was accorded the absolute support of the halacha and the people, as the Talmud teaches: “Yiftach in his generation was like Samuel in his generation” (Babylonian Talmud, Rosh HaShana 25b). Likewise, the statute of the Parah Aduma (Red Heifer), described in Parashat Chukat, teaches us the importance of accepting the laws of the Torah, even when we are unable to understand their rationale. Thus, both the parashah and the haftorah teach us not to rely on our own sense of logic, but rather to have faith in the halachic authority as brought down by the Rabbis in each generation. This is the foundation of our legal system and the eternal transmission of Torah.

Son of a Harlot

“Now Yiftach the Gileadite was a mighty man of valor, and he was the son of a harlot, and Gilead begot Yiftach” (Shoftim 11:1). It was necessary for Scripture to emphasize that Gilead was the father of Yiftach, since it is usually difficult to identify the father of the children of harlots. Although Yiftach is called the son of a harlot (zona), Yiftach’s mother was not a regular harlot. Many commentators, including Radak and Malbim, hold that Gilead’s first wife was a concubine, rather than a prostitute. A concubine (pilegesh) is not necessarily a second wife, but a woman with whom a man has a physical relationship without a chupah (canopy) and marriage contract. Radak explains that she is called a harlot because she lives with her man without a ketubah (marriage contract) and without the holiness of being properly married (kedushin). For this reason, she is considered in the category of being a harlot, even if she is dedicated to one man alone. Gilead had a relationship with Yiftach’s mother without being properly married to her, because she was from a different tribe. At that time, there was a tradition in Israel not to marry outside of the tribe, so that the tribal land portions wouldn't be transferred from one tribe to another (Radak, The Book of Shoftim 11:1).

The Pilegesh Outburst in our Times

I was quite shocked when I learned that, nowadays, there are people engaged in pre-marital or extramarital sex, among those who consider themselves modern orthodox. They justify their actions as halachically valid under the category of pilegesh. It is easy to understand why a pilegesh relationship would be ideal for certain noncommittal men, concerned about their personal pleasure. As one man seeking a pilegesh explained, “It is less stressful than an affair, and longer lived than a fling or that elusive one-night stand. It’s still a casual relationship without a ketubah, no need to feed her, house her, heal her, bury her, etc. You could also do a week with her and then end the relationship if you like.” It is quite disturbing to read that the fastest growing Jewish relationship sites on the web are promoting Jewish Polygamy and the pilegesh relationship. One such site has recently passed the ten thousand visits mark, which is close to three thousand visitors a month on average. Sites such as these “help” not only “religious” men but even couples finding a Jewish pilegesh. Surprisingly, more than ten percent of the members of such sites are women seeking to be a pilegesh. Why would a woman choose to lower herself to a status that was always considered degrading compared to having the rights of a full-fledged wife? In a letter called “Confession” written October 9^th, 2007, an anonymous woman explains: “I’ve been a pilegesh for three years with two different men (not at the same time obviously). I keep all the rules. If you saw me in the street, I’d look the same as the other girls. The desperate, naive shidduch daters. I’m frum. I went to a religious high school. Once I turned eighteen, it seemed I would have to get married to be able to act on the feelings I’d been having for a few years. I didn’t like the idea of having to settle down, but it didn’t seem like I had a choice. Then I met a girl who changed my life. She was a few years older than me and introduced me to the idea. Not long after, I met my first boyfriend… What I’m doing is not acceptable in the frum community. I understand why it can’t be. If everyone did this, chaos would ensue... I’m glad that I don’t have to get married to have this kind of relationship. I believe what I’m doing is halachically valid, even if it’s not accepted. Sure, it can be difficult, but on the whole I feel it’s liberating.”

Halachic Justification?

This anonymous woman, who faithfully keeps the laws of mikvah and waits three months between relationships, is convinced, like most others who allow themselves to become a pilegesh or to have one or more, that this institution is halachically permitted. This misconception is backed up by certain “Rabbis” who “halachically” justify the institution. One of the pilegesh websites even claims to be under ultra orthodox Rabbinic supervision. Yet, most, if not all, of the “Rabbis” promoting sexuality without marriage are far from orthodox. Jewish renewal Rabbi, Arthur Waskow, ordained by Rabbi Laura Geller and Dr. Judith Plaskow, questions whether it is desirable to forbid all sexual relationships between unmarried people, and thereby insist on celibacy for an enormous proportion of Jews in their 20s and 30s, and for divorced Jews. He writes, “From biblical tradition on, there has been a category for legitimate non-marital sexual relationships that could be initiated and ended by either party without elaborate legalities. It was called pilegesh, usually translated “concubine,” though it meant something more open, free, and egalitarian than “concubine” connotes in English. Those who prefer the pilagshut relationship may certainly do so… For, perhaps either party is unprepared for the burdensome responsibilities of marital obligations…” In conclusion, Waskow suggests drawing on the pilegesh relationship to “establish a sacred grounding for sexual relationships that are not marriages, and create patterns of honesty, health, contraception, intimacy, and holiness for such relationships.” (Rabbi Arthur Waskow, Sexuality & Spirituality, A Prophetic Voice in Jewish Multi-religious & American Life).

Halacha: The Concept of Pilegesh

Let us examine more closely these attempts to popularize pilegesh relationships as forms of premarital, non-marital, and extramarital relationships permitted by halacha. What is the true contemporary halachic status of pilegesh? The Ra’avad explains that the word pilegesh is comprised of the words “Pi Shagal,” which indicates a woman who is used in both domestic and “intimate” ways (Hasagat HaRa’avad on Rambam, Hilchot Ishut 1:4). Alternatively, the word pilegesh is related to the Hebrew/Aramaic palga isha, “half a wife,” and the Greek pallax/pallakis, “mistress” or “lover-girl.” In contemporary Israeli Hebrew, the word pilegesh is often used as the equivalent of the English “mistress” – i.e., the female partner in extramarital relations, even when these relations have no legal recognition. In the Talmud, a pilegesh is defined by Rav Yehudah in the name of Rav as a woman married without kidushin and without a ketubah (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 21). However, Rambam (Hilchot Ishut 1:4) defines a pilegesh as a woman without a ketubah but with kidushin. Kidushin, which means sanctified, is part of the marriage ceremony and reflects the holiness of Jewish marriage. During the ritual of kidushin, the man sanctifies his woman and designates her for himself and no other. According to Rambam, after the Torah was given, one who has relations with a woman without kidushin is punished with lashes by Torah law. A pilegesh without kidushin is an institution exclusively reserved for Jewish kings. No ordinary person may take a pilegesh, or engage in any type of relations outside of marriage (Rambam, Hilchot Melachim 4:4). The Shulchan Aruch explains that if a man lived with a woman the way of znut, not for the sake of kidushin, she is not considered married. This is the case even if he designated her for himself and lived with her for the sake of intimate relations exclusively between the two of them. In this case, [the Rabbis] compel him to take her out of his home (Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 26:1).

The Rema (Rabbi Moshe Isserless, ibid.) quotes the Ra’avad, who maintains that a pilegesh is a woman who is designated to one man, and this is permitted as long as she goes to the mikvah at the appropriate times. It is important to note that even the Rabbis, who do not consider pilagshut to be an infringement on a Torah commandment, may still hold that pilagshut violates the positive commandment of the Torah that a man must marry by way of kidushin. The mitzvah for a man to marry is derived from Devarim 24:1. See Yad, Ishut 1:2; R. Shelomo Luria, Yam Shel Shelomo, Yevamot 2:11; Resp. Tzitz Eliezer 1:27, part 18. The Rema concludes his comment by quoting the Rambam, Rosh, and Tur, who rule that the practice of pilegesh is prohibited and liable for the punishment of lashes for transgressing the Torah prohibition of “There shall be no prostitutes of the daughters of Israel” (Devarim 23:18).

Likewise, the great Torah sage, Rabbi Yonah of Gerona writes: Our rabbis taught that the verse, “Do not prostitute your daughter to cause her to be a harlot, lest the land fall to harlotry, and the land become full of lechery,” comes to warn that a man should not give over his unmarried daughter for intercourse except in marriage... and a pilegesh without, ketubah and kidushin was only permitted to the king. (Gates of Repentance, part 3:94) The halachic position in case of a safek d’Oraita (the possibility of transgressing a Torah command) is to always be strict. Therefore, the accepted practice is to follow the ruling of the Rambam and to prohibit the practice of pilegesh. Rav Yakov Emden concludes that he would not permit the practice of pilegesh unless two other halachic authorities signed with him to permit it, and thus it has remained the practice not to allow it. (See Resp. Igerot Moshe, Eben HaEzer 1:55, where the prohibition of pilagshut is simply assumed).

Contemporary Halachic Responsa Regarding Pilegesh

Beyond the pilegesh, a 1979 teshuvah of the Central Conference of American Rabbis Responsa Committee provides textual references detailing rabbinic responsa intended to prevent “casual” sexual relationships between consenting adults and unmarried partners who have made a long-term commitment to each other. There can, after all, be no greater long-term commitment than that made between a properly married couple. There are several halachic responsa aimed at ensuring that no sexual contact takes place even between a man and his betrothed bride before their wedding. For this reason, kidushin (betrothal) and nisuin (marriage) became fused into the single ceremony that still remains in place. One of the important motivations behind this enactment was the desire to prevent sexual contact prior to marriage, even for those who had formally committed themselves to each other through kidushin. It plainly follows that the contemplation of a sexual relationship for those who, no matter the depth or the longevity of their feelings, had made no formal commitment to each other would have been absolutely out of the question. Unmarried Jews must not live together, and certainly not engage in sexual relationships, even if their personal commitment to each other is profound. The accepted standard is evidenced by the passage in the betrothal blessing (birkat erusin), “He has prohibited to us our betrothed spouses.” R. David Ibn Zimra stated the prohibition most clearly when he declared, “At the present time, a woman is permitted to no man except through chuppah, sheva berachot and ketubah” (Resp. Radbaz 4:225; 7:33).

Rabbi Yaacov Ariel, Chief Rabbi of Ramat Gan, commenting on the issue of pilegesh, explains that the rabbinical authorities who permitted the institution of pilegesh were not talking about the kind of temporary relationships found among young people today, but rather, lifelong commitments. Regarding this important distinction, he emphasizes that all halachic authorities agree that passing sexual relationships between unmarried people are forbidden, as a form of whoredom, even if the woman goes to the mikvah. Rabbi Ariel cites that, according to Rashi and the Gaon of Vilna, the ancient practice of pilegesh was, in fact, accompanied by a kosher marriage ceremony, or kidushin, so that the daughters of Israel should not fall into harlotry.

On the modern orthodox Nishmat Women’s Health and Halacha website, a woman asks whether intimacy before marriage is permitted by the Torah through the status of “pilegesh.” The answer given is that pilegesh is forbidden by the Torah, as the Rambam understands the Torah prohibition of kedeshah (prostitution) to prohibit any sexual relations outside of the context of marriage. Therefore, there is no room for a woman to acquire the status of pilegesh nowadays. As challenging as it may be to refrain from physical relations before marriage, restraint is demanded by halacha. Halacha has a positive view of physical intimacy and its potential for joy and holiness exclusively within the halachic framework and commitment of marriage.

In the same vein, Rav Peretz Moncharsh answers a sha’alah regarding a divorced woman who is engaging in intimate relations with a man she is not married to. Would the institution of pilegesh be a legitimate halachic option for such a couple? The Rabbi answers that a pilegesh is not an option, because the majority opinion of the poskim is that it only applies to a king or to a marriage without a ketubah, but not to an extra-marital relationship. While she may consider her “friend” a princely fellow, halachah certainly does not accord him royal status.

Rabbi Zev Leff, being asked a similar question, answers on an audio recording that living together without kedushin is a Torah prohibition. A pilegesh relationship involving a man and a woman who live together without being married is actual znut (harlotry). Therefore, in order not to promote znut, the Rabbis prohibited single women from immersing in the mikvah. Although living with a niddah is a much more serious prohibition than living with a single woman after her mikvah, the Rabbis still considered it so important to minimize premarital/extramarital relations that it took precedence over minimizing the transgression of sexually active unmarried couples. Rabbi Leff concludes that there is no heter (permission) for unmarried couples to live together, as we say at the marriage canopy: “Who forbade us those betrothed to us, but permitted us those married to us by means of chupah and kidushin.”

The Pilegesh Trend – Pursuit of Instant Gratification

The real problem facing us today is that the sanctity of marriage has broken down, even among the religious. The Kabbalist Rabbi Eliahu Leon Levi said that “One does not have to offer Kabbalistic explanations to understand that to renew the practice of pilegesh today would destroy the institution of Jewish marriage. A pilegesh was something exclusive to the times of the Bible.” Rabbi Yaacov Ariel, concurs: “Our duty as rabbis is to encourage the holy institution of marriage, not to ape the licentiousness of the Western world, which places egotistical satisfaction before everything else.” Unfortunately, those “spiritual leaders” who promote pilegeshut have seemingly forgotten that the main reason of our life is to perform mitzvot and thereby elevate our lower inclinations in the service of Hashem. It seems to me that the main motivation for the attempt to halachically legitimize the institution of pilegesh is to cater to the yetzer hara (selfish inclination) of religious people, who have become greatly influenced by the pleasure-seeking of Western Society, and its pursuit of instant gratification. The problem is that many of those practicing what they call a pilegesh relationship validate their individual yetzer harah, believing that their actions are totally halachically justified. This reminds me of the Jewish gay movement. Before that movement became popular, a man, born with an abnormal sexual disposition, was aware that acting upon his tendencies would violate the Jewish practice. However, today, some people do not see a contradiction between being gay and Jewishly observant. Nowadays, you can find gay “Rabbis,” gay minyans (prayer quorums), and even gay “married couples.” In a similar manner, certain “Rabbis” and “spiritual leaders” wearing the orthodox garb with long beard and peyot, promote the social institution of pilegesh. They may quote and misquote all kinds of halachic sources to legalize their position, most often because of their personal desire to take a pilegesh for themselves. It is alarming that these “Rabbis” have no shortage of followers who welcome the opportunity for instant corporal gratification through minimum effort, without having to make any commitment. We may have compassion for a single man who is unable to control himself and live in long-term celibacy. When such a man gives in to his inclination, he is fully aware that his behavior is far from ideal, but that, unfortunately, he can’t help himself. However, it is much more alarming when pleasure-seeking and lust turn into a trend, disguised by the so-called pilegesh relationship, without the slightest feeling of shame.

Spiritually Disadvantaged Women’s Lack of  Self-Respect

I believe that the underlying reason for the growing number of Jewish women willing to become pilagshot is an estrangement of women from their innate feminine nurturing strengths. A spiritually healthy Jewish woman yearns, by her very nature, for the long-lasting, committed relationship of marriage and raising a family. For this reason, the Torah didn’t have to command women to get married and become fruitful. Nowadays, unfortunately, influenced by Western society’s competitive career-race, pleasure-seeking, and the nonchalant, noncommittal attitude, certain Jewish women have lost their sense of true Jewish femininity. Being detached from their spiritual feminine essence causes these spiritually disadvantaged Jewish women to lose their sense of dignity and self-respect. They are unaware how they degrade their Divine Image by allowing their bodies to be available for men, who are unwilling to make a lifelong commitment to them, and unite with them fully through both body and soul. I call on all believing Jewish women to start believing in themselves and start to consider themselves fully deserving of their true soulmate’s total love and commitment. May Hashem bless all single Jewish women to find committed Jewish marriage partners worthy of them!

Birth, Renewal and Redemption

Haftorat Parashat Korach
Shabbat Rosh Chodesh
Yeshayahu  66:1-24

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When Shabbat falls on Rosh Chodesh, a special haftarah is recited instead of the one usually related to that week’s parashah. This haftorah is all about redemption, making me think about the specialness of Shabbat Rosh Chodesh – I believe it is a sign of the forthcoming geula! Chodesh Tov!

The Connection Between the Haftorah and Shabbat Rosh Chodesh

I believe that this haftorah was chosen for Shabbat Rosh Chodesh because it connects Shabbat with Rosh Chodesh and describes the renewal of redemption, which the New Moon heralds. “It shall come to pass on every new moon after new moon, and Shabat after Shabat, that all people shall come to bow down to Me, said Hashem”  (Yeshayahu 66:23). By comparing Rosh Chodesh to Shabbat, the prophet gives it great significance. Since the newborn moon of Rosh Chodesh gives us hope for redemption, the entire haftorah describes the forthcoming redemption. At that time the holiday of Rosh Chodesh will become renewed to receive the status of a full-fledged holiday on par with Pesach, Sukot and Shavuot (Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer 44). Rosh Chodesh has always endowed us with a fresh start and an opportunity for introspection regarding what we went through during the past month, and the new opportunities and challenges facing us in the upcoming month. The Tur, (Orach Chaim 417) explains that the three pilgrim festivals correspond to Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’acov, whereas, Rosh Chodesh corresponded to the twelve tribes. When the tribes sinned by making the Golden Calf, Rosh Chodesh was taken away from them and given to their wives. Therefore, each Rosh Chodesh uniquely reveals the qualities of one of Israel’s tribes. During exile, however, the light of Rosh Chodesh is withheld to a certain degree. Yet, we are already experiencing the beginning of the era of Mashiach when Rosh Chodesh is returning to its intended capacity. This parallels the unfolding of the feminine light in the world. In the last generation, women, especially have begun celebrating and tuning into the message of Rosh Chodesh. This is a prelude to the days of Mashiach, when the entire Jewish people will experience the Divine Feminine Indwelling Presence at the Beit Hamikdash (Temple) every Rosh Chodesh. When our hearts will be purified from the yetzer hara (negative impulse), Rosh Chodesh will become an uplifting experience filled with opportunity for spiritual elevation. (P’sikta Rabbati 1:3). Already now, we increasingly celebrate each month’s particular quality and energy, through our exuberant Rosh Chodesh festivities.

Constant Renewal

The rebirth of the moon constantly calls us to become reborn from the nights of routine and corruption. It ensures eternal freshness, to the extent that Israel is forever immune to the spiritual and ethical corruption. This Divine clock, given to Israel at the verge of redemption is internalized through the experience of womanhood. By means of our monthly cycles, women embody the renewal of the moon. “From my flesh I will see G-d” (Iyov 19:26). Through the experience of the changes in our own body, we are able to feel how nothing in life is static. We internalize the realization that life does not run its course automatically like a windup clock. When pregnant or nursing we do not need the monthly cycle to remind us that G-d continues to renew the world. Nothing makes G-d’s miraculous renewal of the world clearer than the sensation of a new being growing within us. Moreover, the rapid unfolding of our nursing infant teaches us to keep renewing ourselves as well. By the time of menopause, we will hopefully have integrated the message of the moon into the very fiber of our being. (Excerpt from Rebbetzin Chana Bracha’s book Women at the Crossroad. To order, visit www.berotbatayin.org/WomenattheCrossroads.htm.)

Birth, Renewal, and Redemption
The forthcoming redemption described in our haftorah, in fact employs the metaphor of labor and birth: “Before she labored, she was delivered. Before her pangs came, she bore a son. Whoever heard of such a thing?...Can a land pass through labor in a single day? Or shall a nation be born all at once? ...Shall I, who bring about labor, not bring about birth? ...Shall I, who cause birth, shut the womb?” (Yeshayahu 66:7-10). According to Metzudat David, “Before she was in labor she gave birth” refers to Tzion, because when all of her children will gather inside of her, it is considered as if she gave birth to them, without labor or contractions. Radak explains this metaphor to refer to the sudden redemption which will come upon Israel. Yerushalayim is compared to the mother, and the Jewish people, her children. Before all the children of Israel have gathered completely, the redemption will come unexpectedly to Israel, just like a woman giving birth prior to having contractions. Since the difficulties of pregnancy and childbirth were the consequence of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, at the time of redemption, when the Tree of Knowledge becomes transformed into the Tree of Life, labor pangs are lessened and the process of birth will be less painful. In our time, we are already experiencing the beginning of this change. I know many women who gave birth before they reached the birthing clinic. This almost happened to myself. I just made it, and gave birth both times, less than twenty minutes after I had arrived. Our haftorah is overflowing with lush promise and hope, maternal love, and divine protection. “I will extend peace to her like a stream...Then you shall suckle, and be carried upon her sides and be dandled upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you and you shall be comforted in Yerushalayim” ( Yeshayahu 66:12-12). Radak reveals that the metaphor of a woman is employed because women puts more effort into things than men. Just like a mother comforts her children from any difficult experiences they may have gone through, so will the Divine Mother comfort her children, Israel, from the suffering of exile. The prophet relates the place of comfort to Jerusalem, for in this place Hashem will reveal His glory to us. Metzudat David expands this concept and explains that we will be comforted in Yerushalayim, because specifically in Jerusalem will Israel receive much goodness, as a comfort for all the suffering we endured. During redemption, Hashem will give birth to a renewed reality. Spiritually, the world becomes reborn, with a heightened consciousness and capacity for prophecy. This is reflected in Rosh Chodesh, when, on a small scale, we renew our awareness of Hashem. Rabbi Shimshon Refael Hirsch explains, that each time the moon finds the sun again, receiving its rays of light afresh; Hashem wants His people to find Him again, and to be illuminated with His fresh rays of Light. By seeing the renewal of the moon, we access our potential for personal renewal. The more we allow this renewal to enter our lives, the closer we get to the ultimate renewal and the final redemption, as described in our haftorah.

The Month of Tamuz Rectifying the Sense of Seeing

Vision is the sense of the month of Tamuz, and its tribe is Reuven, which means “see a son.” At his birth, Leah named him Reuven because she said, “Surely Hashem has looked upon my affliction” (Bereishit 29:32). The crystal of the tribe of Reuven is the ruby, related to the word Reuben. Due to its brilliant red color, this stone is called odem (from the language of adom/red) in Hebrew, and is the most sensually visible of all the stones. The midrash teaches us that the Jewish people were tempted to make the golden calf on the 17^th of Tammuz as a replacement for Moshe, because Satan showed them a vision of Moshe floating dead between heaven and earth (Shemot Rabah 41:7). Perhaps television today can be compared to the vision of the Satan who made the Jewish people lose hope. The screen shows a vision, which is seemingly objective. However, often it is a product of a certain agenda, to destroy the Jewish people and our mission in the world. It may show a vision of Jews murdered and tortured, making Israel loose hope and scared to live here. It may also portray a false image of the Jews as perpetrators reacting excessively aggressive. This is destructive for the Divine Image of Israel, and can alienate people spiritually from her. During this month we have to really work on purifying our vision, and seeing beyond the mask of external physical reality, by connecting with the Divine light behind the mask. What you see is not what you get. You can visit Israel and just see a lot of old rocks. You can walk on the Judean hills, and see nothing but trees and houses. If you look with G-d-colored glasses, you may see beyond the surface to get a sense of David Hamelech who walked these very hills with his flock as he composed the lyrics and tunes of the Tehillim.

Rachav: Woman of Ultimate Renewal

Haftorat Parashat Shelach Lecha

Yehoshua 2:24

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This week’s haftorah about Rachav the convert, teaches us about the ability of a person to completely turn her life around from being on the lowest spiritual rung (Rachav was a harlot) to raise herself up to the highest spiritual level of closeness to Hashem. (Rachav merited becoming the wife of Yehoshua the leader of the Jewish people). It is also interesting that Rachav’s declaration of conversion includes recognizing the right of the Jewish people to conquer the Land of Israel.

Rachav the Harlot

“Yehoshua the son of Nun sent out of Shittim two men to spy secretly, saying go view the land, and Yericho. They went, and came to the house of a woman harlot named Rachav, and lodged there...” (Yehoshua 2:1). Most commentaries agree that Rachav was a harlot, and although the word zonah can also be translated as inn-keeper (from the same root as the word mazon), she was only called thus as clean language – to diminish her disgrace. Possibly the “inn” served as both a place for lodging and meals, where even her body became food for the lodgers. Rachav, the harlot was a “loose” woman. Just as she lacked the boundary of morality, her home, rather than being inside of the boundary of the city, was strategically built into the city-wall. Rachav became well-known in the world, since important officials visited her “inn” and confided in her. The spies of Israel went to Rachav, because top secrets were revealed to her through her important connections.

Rachav: Woman of Ultimate Renewal

Upon meeting the Jewish spies, a spark was ignited in Rachav’s soul. She was inspired to turn her life completely around and perform the highest teshuva possible. She risked her life to save the Jews from the king of Yericho, as she explained the reason for her heroic action: “I know that Hashem has given you the Land, and that dread of you has fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land melt away because of you. For we have heard how Hashem dried up the waters of the Sea of Suf before you, when you came out of Egypt…” (Yehoshua 2: 9-10). The midrash explains how there was no ruler or noble-man who had not come to Rachav, the harlot. She was ten years old when Israel left Egypt, and she was involved in an immoral way of life during all the forty years when Israel was in the wilderness, but in the end of her fiftieth year she converted. (Yalkut Shimoni, Yehoshua 1:9). What motivated Rachav the harlot to do this intense teshuva? It was what she heard about the miracles Hashem performed for Israel that inspired her, as she stated, “For we have heard…” There are many different levels of hearing. The rest of the Canaanites also heard. They became afraid and were trembling, but their hearing did not motivate them to any personal commitment or action. Only Rachav responded to the truth that she heard – about Hashem’s miraculous salvation of the children of Israel, and she processed what she had heard for forty years. Despite all of these years, none of the original excitement of the event had faded in her memory. At the age of fifty, she was finally moved to act upon what had made such an impression upon her as a little girl. Her recognition of Hashem being the Master of the Universe moved her greatly. However, it was only by meeting the righteous Israelites that she received the impetus to change her life around completely. In response to Rachav’s intense teshuvah, the Jewish spies promised her that they would save the lives of her and her family, at the time of the Jewish conquest of the city.

Elevating the Tools of Immorality

The highest form of repentance is through using and elevating the identical tools employed for the previous sin. This kind of teshuva is called teshuvat hamiskal. For example, if someone used to cook milk and meat together daily, for a decadent non-Jewish restaurant, then the highest form of repentance would be elevating his cooking skills by cooking for a holy Jewish event, such as a wedding or sheva bracha. This kind of teshuva transforms the previous sins into merits. Perhaps the reason why Scripture mentions Rachav’s previous occupation, calling her “the harlot” even after her conversion (Yehoshua 6:22), is to emphasize the greatness of her teshuva. Davka (specifically) from the lowest place of being a harlot, a person can seek refuge under the wing of Hashem and be saved from both physical and spiritual death. It was actually the extent of her prior sins that eventually brought her to convert and seek closeness with Hashem. Rachav saved the Jewish spies by “letting them down by the rope through the window” (Yehoshua 2:15) Rashi explains that by means of this same rope and window the adulterers used to come up to her. She said, “Master of the Universe! Through these I sinned, through these please forgive me! Through these I had my escapades so to speak. With these very tools of sin, I'm going to risk my life and let down these two Jewish spies.” Rachav teaches us that human beings can use the exact tools of their failure to anchor themselves closer to the Ribono shel Olam, and merit to be accepted into the elite of Klal Yisrael. Rachav merited to become the wife of Yeshoshua, and have eight prophets and Kohanim descend from her. They were: Yermiahu, Chilkiah, Shariah, Ma’aseha, Baruch ben Niriah, Chanmael and Shalom.... Rabbi Yehudah says even Chuldah the prophetess was descended from Rachav. If someone who came from a people [the Canaanites] about whom it states, “Don't keep any soul alive,” could bring herself so close to Hashem, how much more so concerning the Jews when we keep the Torah. There are several pious female converts: Hagar, Osnat, Tziporah, Shifra, Puah, Bat Pharaoh, Rachav, Ruth and Yael the wife of Chaver the Keni (Yalkut Shimoni Yehoshua 1:9).

The Wall, the Rope and the Window

There are different opinions as to which tools of sin Rachav elevated through her teshuva. According to Yalkut Shimoni they were the wall, rope and window. These three things can be compared to the three main mitzvoth of women: Chalah, Family Purity and Candlelight. The wall protects the home and teaches us proper boundaries, this corresponds to the mitzvah of chalah. Taking a piece of our bread and giving to the Kohen teaches us the proper boundary of holding ourselves back from grabbing everything for ourselves. Like the wall, the gift of chalah protects and blesses the rest of the fruits in our orchard. It is interesting that only after her realization of Hashem’s oneness does Scripture emphasize that Rachav lived in the wall (Yehoshua 2:15). Now she has learned to place the proper wall around her being, which used to be open for all to take. However, she keeps a window open in order to interact with the outside world. She is learning when to open herself to others and how to raise up her vulnerable spot. Instead of being taken advantage of by men, now, with full consciousness, she allows herself be vulnerable, by risking her life for the sake of saving these holy men of Israel. From the window light emanates into the home. This corresponds to the mitzvah of candlelight, which enlightens the home. With the rope you connect. This corresponds to the mitzvah of family purity through which a woman connects herself to her husband. Possibly, the rope can also symbolize how Rachav elevated her past sins and thus connected her past and her future.

The Flax and the Rope

According to the Maharal of Prague, it was the flax, the rope and the window that Rachav used to help the men who came to her for prostitution. She would hide them with the flax, to save their reputation. By means of these same three things, she merited to rescue the spies. The Maharal explains that someone who commits illicit relations, sins first with his eyes. This can be compared to the window as we know the eyes are the windows of the soul. Afterwards he begins to sin with lustful thoughts, and finally, G-d forbid, through the deed itself. Just as flax is used to produce the rope, so is the thought (hirhur) the beginning of actual sin. The lustful thought is still present during the sin, in the same way as flax continues to be part of the rope. The rope is compared to the act itself, as the rope can be used to connect two people together for bad or for good (Chidushei Agadot, Part Four, Page 74, Mesechet Eduyot).

Becoming White as Snow

“She bound the scarlet cord in the window” (Yehoshua 2:21). The red thread of our haftorah ties together with the blue thread of this week’s parasha reading, where we read about the mitzvah of the techelet string in the tzitzit. Why was Rachav instructed specifically to hang a red thread of scarlet from her window as a sign to Yehoshua’s men that her family was to be saved? The color scarlet, in Hebrew is usually referred to as tola’at shani. The word “tola’at” means “worm” and “shani” refers to the dye (or the dyed material) obtained from the eggs of the insects which attach themselves to the kermes oak. The red color carries associations to Rachav’s previous occupation, such as the “red light” district. However, just as the red color of fire turns in to white ashes, the red string is a vivid symbol of no matter how immoral and wormy anyone has become, there is always hope of returning. Actually, the Hebrew word used for cord in our verse, is the very unusual “tikva,” which means hope, like in Israel’s anthem “Hatikva.” The exquisite Torah verse that we read in Shabbat hachazon eternally reminds us that “Although your sins be like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be like [white] wool” (Yeshauyahu 1:18). Even if our sins are as striking as a red dye, through teshuvah we can rise above them, like Rachav, the harlot, who became the wife of the leader of Israel.

Transforming the Fire of Lust into Passion for Holiness

While the color scarlet contrasted with white usually is a negative color symbolizing sin, The Eishet Chail uses the color of scarlet in the reverse way, to protect her household against the cold of snow. “She does not fear the snow for all of her household are clothed with scarlet” (Mishlei 31:21).The color of scarlet – deep red – is the color of fire. Perhaps we can say that the Eishet Chail has her own and her family’s fire in control. She protects her family by channeling the very same fire which usually causes people to sin, into fire and passion for Hashem’s mitzvoth. One of the problems of our time is that even when a person is able to overcome his passion for sin; he sometimes forgets to remain hot for holiness. This makes him susceptible to Amalek’s influence, which cooled down Israel’s desire and yearning for holiness. Pursuit of holiness such as Torah learning, tefilah, yearning for the Temple and for Mashiach requires deed, initiative and warmth. The scarlet string may symbolize how Rachav transformed her fire for immorality into the greatest passion for holiness. This also fits in with the name Rachav which means broad.

As Rav Tzadok of Lublin explains, the advantage of the ba’al tshuva over the tzaddik is that when a crocked line is made into a straight line, the line becomes broader (Sefer Chesbonot Charutz, Chapter 6). I’d like to call on the readers to give examples of the broadness of the ba’al teshuva/convert.

 

The Joy of the Daughter of Zion

Haftorat Beha’alotcha
Zechariah 2:14-4:7

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This week’s haftorah from the last of the twelve Minor Prophets, Zechariah, is one of my favorites. It is so beautifully poetic and overflowing with hope, in its description of Hashem’s returning Israel with the Shechina to our Holy Land. I was so inspired by its opening verses, “Roni v'simchi bat Zion,” “Shout for Joy, O Daughter of Zion…,” that I composed a melody for them. If you are a woman you can hear my song accompanied by my guitar below. It is very unprofessionally recorded, and so is my singing and playing, but I hope, nevertheless, that you will enjoy the tune.

The Connection between the Haftorah and the Torah reading
The vision of the golden Menorah (Candelabra) in this week’s haftorah links the haftorah to Parashat Beha’alotcha, which opens with instructing Aharon to kindle the Menorah daily. Nechama Leibowitz explains that the lighting of the Menorah symbolizes the purpose of the entire service in the Mishkan – the elevation of the soul towards the Divine light by keeping the mitzvot of the Torah. The light emanating from the golden seven-branched Menorah represent the spiritual light of the Shechina, the Divine Indwelling Presence of G-d. Moshe was unable to picture or comprehend the design of the Menorah, until Hashem showed him in a vision. In the haftarah, Zechariah is likewise shown a vision of a “Golden Menorah with a bowl upon the top of it, and seven lamps to it, and seven pipes to the seven lamps, attached to its head. Two olive trees by the Menorah, one upon the right side of the bowl and the other by the left” (Zechariah 4:2-3). It seems to me that the vessel for spiritual light must be shown through a Divine vision, since it cannot be comprehended through human logic. It is evidently by Divine Providence that the secular State of Israel has chosen as its emblem, the image of the Menorah as described in this week’s haftorah. This emblem clearly symbolizes how Israel is a vessel for the Indwelling Presence of the Shechina. The red thread that ties this week’s parashah to its haftorah is that they both describe the dwelling of the Shechina within Israel. In the parashah, the description of kindling the Menorah is followed by the purification of the Levites for the service in the Mishkan, and the cloud of Hashem’s Shechina, which covered the Mishkan. Even the story about Miriam and Aharon’s critique of Moshe, teaches us about how Moshe had to always be ready for the Shechina, which dwelled perpetually upon him. The haftorah describes not only the reconstruction of the Second Temple, but moreover, it alludes to the final geulah when Hashem’s Shechina will return permanently to Israel. The Mashiach will be able to build the Temple and cause the Shechina to dwell within it as effortlessly as lighting the Menorah, “…not by physical might or power, but by my spirit, says Hashem of Hosts” (Zechariah 4:6).

Messianic Prophesy
The haftorah opens in high spirits describing the exuberant happiness that we will experience when the Shechina returns to Yerushalayim: “Shout for joy, O daughter of Tzion, for, behold! I will come and dwell in your midst, says Hashem” (Zechariah 2:14). The Prophet announces the forthcoming greatest joy, when Hashem will return to dwell openly within the Jewish People after the longest period of concealment. Though the haftorah definitely refers to the historical period in which Zechariah lived, towards the end of the Babylonian Exile, the underlying message addresses the Diaspora two and a half Millennia later, prophesying the rebuilding of the Third Temple, by the Mashiach. Rabbi Yechezkiel, the Noda b’Yehuda explains that the verse, “And many nations will attach themselves to Hashem…” (Zechariah 2:15), clearly refers to the time of Mashiach, for only in the Future to Come will the nations leave their idols and return to Hashem. This principle is reflected in our prayer on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, “For My House will be called a House of Prayer for all nations!” (Yesha’yahu 56:7). In addition, Hashem promises in the haftorah “…I will dwell in your midst” (Ibid. 14), yet the dwelling of Hashem’s Shechina was one of the five things missing in the Second Temple (Babylonian Talmud, Yoma 21b).  Therefore, the optimistic prophecy in our haftorah primarily refers to the final redemption.

Daughter of Tzion –Under the Shelter of Hashem’s Shechina
Who is the “Daughter of Tzion” mentioned in the haftorah? According to Rabbi Nachman of Breslau, Bat Tzion is the root of the Neshama of Israel, which is the essence of happiness. We need to protect this holy Neshama from the impure shells of sorrow and moaning with extra holiness (Likutei Halachot, Hilchot Peria v’Revia v”ishut 3).  It seems that in our generation sadness, depression, fear and worry easily creep in to our psyche and debilitate us. It takes great soul work to transform and eradicate these negative emotions from our consciousness. The first step is to recognize them, as we often block away feeling anything at all out of fear. By strengthening our bitachon (trust in Hashem) and realizing that EVERYTHING is for the good, with Hashem’s help we have the ability to overcome negativity and reach a constant level of happiness. B’er Mayim Chaim explains that there is the protecting wall of Bat Tzion (See Eicha 2:8), which surrounds Israel like a wall, and seals us to be under the shelter of the wings of the Shechina (Parshat Shoftim 17). In my practice of spiritual healing I often use a guided imagery, visualizing this protective wall of Hashem’s light surrounding us, to develop immunization to disapproval and criticism from others.

The Return of the Shechina to Tzion for the Sake of Bat Tzion – The Congregation of Israel
The Noda b’Yehuda reveals that Tzion always refers to the dwelling place of the Shechina as Tzion means the innermost point. Bat Tzion refers to the congregation of Israel, because the Shechina dwells not only in a particular place but specifically for the sake of the Jewish people. Also in the time of exile, wherever Israel was exiled, the Shechina was exiled with us (Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 29a). In the future with the ingathering of the exiles the Shechina will return with us. This is the intention of the prophet, “Shout for Joy O Bat Tzion,” specifically “Bat” and not just “Tzion,” because the main Simcha is for the sake of Bat Tzion (Israel) when Hashem “will dwell in our midst.” After learning this, I was still wondering why Israel is particularly called a “daughter.” In Lurianic Kabbalah the lowest sephira of Malchut (Kingdom) is the archetype of “daughter.” Malchut is the pure channel and manifestation of the upper sephirot. It is Israel’s task to manifest Hashem’s light into the world. Fulfilling this task is only possible when the unified Malchut returns to Israel, when we b”H will crown Mashiach as our righteous king. The Jewish soul is moreover a “daughter” of Hashem as it emanates from His holiness. Just like we related to Hashem as a loving father, Hashem calls us “daughter of Tzion” when his Shechina returns to dwell within us in the Land of Israel. The Noda b’Yehuda continues to explain that since it is not an honor for Hashem to be outside of His holy Temple, therefore, Hashem’s Shechina is concealed during the exile. Sometimes it is manifested through judgment and the suffering of exile. However the judgment is always joined with (rachamim) mercy, for the purpose of the exile of the Shechina is to cover us secretly with the wings of the Shechina “For I am Adoshem Elokeichem (your G-d)”(Shemot 29:46) Even in the time of judgment (Elokim) I am still Hashem of Kindness. This concept is reflected in the end of the first verse of our haftorah.

For the Sake of the Joy of the Daughter of Tzion – The Jewish Woman
During our exile, although the Shechina is exiled with us, it does not dwell within our midst. However during the redemption, “Behold I come, and I will dwell within your midst, and many nations shall join themselves to Hashem in that day, and shall be My people, and I will dwell in your midst” (Zechariah 2:14-15). I feel very fortunate to witness the beginning of this process, as Hashem’s Shechina returns to Israel. In the serene mountains of Bat Ayin, its echo can be sensed through the rush of the wind in the trees, the reflections of the colors of the sunset, the sweetness of the fruits grown on the Land, and the enlightened star-filled sky. While dancing with the Kalah (bride) at weddings in Yerushalayim and its outskirts, the glow of the Shechina reverberates and fills the air. Through the singing and rejoicing of the “daughter of Tzion” – the Jewish women, we will bring about Hashem’s response “For here I come, and I will dwell in your midst, Says Hashem!”

The Mother of Shimshon

Haftorat Naso

Shoftim 13:2-25

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This week's haftorah describes one of the most hidden women in Tanach: Hatzlelponi from whom we can glean so many hidden lessons.

The Connection between the Haftorah and the Torah reading

This week's haftorah describes the birth of Shimshon, a lifetime Nazir (Nazarite). This is an appropriate haftorah for this week's Torah reading, which discusses the laws of the Nazir, who may not drink wine, partake from anything made from grapes; cut the hair of his head, nor come in contact with the dead. In Parashat Naso, the laws of the Nazir follow the unfortunate story of the sota (the woman suspected of adultery) to teach us that "anyone who sees the sota in her disgrace will vow to abstain from wine [as does the Nazir]"(Sota 2a). In contrast, our haftorah prophesies the birth of Shimshon, who was supposed to be a Nazir from the womb, not as a result of a moral flaw of any woman, but rather, it was the merit of his mother – Manoach's wife – which brought about the birth of Shimshon.

The Merit of Manoach's Wife
An angel of Hashem appeared to the woman, and said to her, Behold now, you are barren, and have never given birth; you shall conceive and bear a son. Consequently, beware now, and do not drink wine or strong drink, and do not eat any unclean thing. Because you shall conceive, and bear a son; and a razor shall not come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazir to G-d from the womb; and he will begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines. And the woman came and said to her husband, saying, A man of God came to me, and his appearance was like the appearance of an angel of God, very awesome; but I did not ask him from where he was and his name he did not tell me. But he said to me, Behold, you shall conceive, and bear a son; and now drink no wine or strong drink, neither eat any unclean thing: for the child shall be a Nazir to G-d from the womb to the day of his death (Shoftim 13:3-7).

Why did the angel appear to Manoach's wife and not to Manoach? Perhaps it was because the angel appeared without prayer or preparation and these kinds of spontaneous prophetic experiences happen more to women. Malbim explains that the reason why the angel didn't appear to Manoach but rather to his wife is because she was more ready than him for the appearance of the angel. In the end of the haftorah we see how Manoach's wife excels in emuna (faith), and through the high level of her faith she is able to reassure her husband who was afraid that "We shall surely die, for we have seen a G-dly angel" (Shoftim 13:22). Manoach's wife reassured him, "Had Hashem wanted to put us to death, He would not have accepted from our hand an elevation-offering and a meal-offering, nor would He have shown us all this, nor would He let us hear such tidings at this time" (ibid. 23). If Hashem wished for us to die He would not have sent us an angel to inform us that a son would be born to us who will fight the Plishtim.

Learning Emuna from Manoach's Wife
Even though Manoach's wife had witnessed far less miracles than Am Yisrael in the desert, she would have much to teach the Jewish people in the wilderness. Had only the Jewish people in the desert used Manoach's wife's principle of thinking, many complaints and fears could have been avoided. Using her logic, Rabbi Nebenzahl explains how they should have realized that had Hashem wished to let the Jewish people die of thirst in the wilderness, He would not have accepted their Korban Pesach only a few days earlier. He would not have shown them all the great miracles in Egypt and by the sea, and He would not have promised them entry into Eretz Yisrael. When we succumb to irrational fears, it is our yetzer hara (negative inclination) that makes us think like Manoach rather than his wife. If we only realize all the endless miracles that Hashem showers upon us every single day, there would be no room for pessimistic thoughts. When things don't go our way, rather than being afraid that Hashem is punishing us, we can learn from Manoach's wife to recognize Hashem's great love for us and that it is all a test to bring us closer to Him. 

"Hatzlelponi": Woman of Shadows
Who was Manoach's wife, the mother of Shimshon? Although her name is not directly given in Tanach, according to the midrash, her name was צללפוני  Tzelalfoni(t) orהַצְלֶלְפּוֹנִי  Hatzlelponi (Baba Bathra 91a). This name appears in 1 Divrei haYamim 4:3, being the name of a woman from the tribe of Yehudah. As a rule, it is mainly the males who are mentioned in genealogies, as the heads of families, Hatzlelponi stands out, and there must, therefore, be a special reason for mentioning her. Radak concludes that she was an important woman. The midrash explains, that Manoach's wife was righteous, for she merited to speak with the angel. Since she saw an angel her name is called Tzelalfoni. The "Poni" part of her name refers to "Ponah beMalach," – she saw (or turned to) an angel. The "Tzelal" part of her name refers to being in the shadow of the angel. "Tzel" is a term used in the Torah when Lot sees an angel (Bereishit 19:8), and Manoach's wife sees an angel twice, therefore she is called "Hatzlel" (with a double lamed), rather than just "Hatzel." (Bemidbar Rabah 10:5). This is congruent with Malbim's explanation of Song of Songs 2:17 "Hatzellalim" – "The shadows" referring to prophetic visions.

Going After His Wife 
Rabbi Nachman said: Manoach was an ignorant man, as is written, "And Manoach rose and went after his wife" (Shoftim 13:11). But Rabbi Nachman bar Yitzchak disagreed, asking: Does this mean that Elkana was ignorant, from the verse "And Elkana went after his wife" (Tosafot note that they were not able to find such a verse), or Elisha, as is written, "He rose and went after her" (2 Melachim 4:30)? In these cases the verse simply means that the man followed the advice of the woman. The same is true of Manoach, who followed his wife's advice. Rabbi Ashi said, in view of Rabbi Nachman's words, claiming that Manoach was ignorant; it would seem that he did not even study the Torah. For it is written, "Rivka and her maids arose, and they rode the camels, and they went after the man" (Bereishit 24:41). They did not go before the man (Berachot 61a).

This Chazal teaches us that a man should not walk behind a woman even his own wife. The reason is that for a man seeing the behind of a woman, may cause him improper thoughts. Even in regards to his own wife, it seems to me, that he should not regard her rear, in order not to think of her in a lowly immodest way. Rather her face should be foremost in his mind. Rabbi Nachman in the gemara defends the great men (Elkana and Elisha) who are described as walking after a woman, by explaining that they did not necessarily walk after (behind) a woman in the physical sense, but rather, they followed the advice of the woman, which is totally legitimate. The gemara implies that women have what to say even to the greatest prophets. (According to the midrash, Elkana was also a prophet.) Rabbi Ashi still insists that although Elkana and Elisha followed the advice of women, in the case of Manoach, he was ignorant and was not only under his wife's influence, but he did, in fact, walk behind her. This had to be so, since the angel appeared to her and not to him, "She alone knew the place where [the angel] appeared" (Metzudat David, Shoftim 13:11). However, according to Rashi ibid., Manoach went after his wife's advice. We can, therefore conclude that Manoch followed his wife both in the physical and spiritual sense. A possible reason why it is only acceptable for a man to follow a woman in the spiritual but not in the physical sense, is that on the exterior level it is important that the husband comes before the wife. He needs to feel important in this way in order for him to be ready to follow the internal advice of his wife, for on the innermost level, "The woman of valor is the crown of her husband" (Mishlei 12:4).

Her Reincarnations
Hatzlalponit, the mother of Shimson, is one of the seven barren women in the world corresponding to the seven days of creation. She corresponds to the sixth day of creation – the day Adam and Chava were created. (Sefer Kehilat Ya'acov 95). The Rama of Pano reveals that Tzelalfonit was the reincarnation of Lamech's wife Tzila, which also means shadow. She had two shadows (as the word tzelal indicates) and was later reincarnated in Chana who sat in the shadow of Hashem. Both of these women, who gave birth to special men after being barren, rectified the original Tzila who drank a potion in order to prevent becoming pregnant, that her husband Lamech could enjoy basking in her undivided shadow. (Sefer Gilgulei Neshamot 30).The Rama of Pano, furthermore brings that Tzelalponit was the reincarnation of the wife of On ben Pelet, whom she saved (hitzila) from the wicked congregation of Korach. The first part of the name "Tzelal"( (צללshares the same root as the word for saving (צלה). Since she saved him, she saw the angel first. (Ibid. 90).

The last reincarnation of Tzelalponit and Manoach was during the time of the Talmud. Abba Chelkiah, the grandson of Choni HaMa'agal (who was famous for causing the rain to fall) was Manoach the ignorant man who went after his wife. The gemara recounts that people would come to Abba Chilkiya to ask him to pray for rain. He went after his wife and placed himself between the sages and his wife, because he didn't trust the sages not to look at his wife. Moreover, the clouds of rain came up first from where his wife was standing rather than from where he was standing. The reason is that the wife has more merit since she is in the house and she gives bread to the poor. In this way, she benefits them more than her husband who just gives them money. Another reason why the rain would fall for the wife of Rabbi Chilkiya is that their neighborhood was full of ruffians. Abba Chilkia prayed (מצלי) that they would die; whereas, his wife prayed that they would repent, and so it happened (Ta'anit 23b). The Rama of Pano adds that Abba Chilkiya went after his wife to show that what he did in the reincarnation of Manoach was well intended and for the good, for his wife was very pious. Just like the rainclouds came to her first, so did the angel come to her first in her previous reincarnation of Manoach's wife – the Tzelalponit (Gilgulei Neshamot 1).

Divine Matrimony

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Haftorat Bemidbar
Hoshea 2:1-22

The Connection between the Haftorah and the Torah reading

We always read Parashat Bemidbar with its haftorah from Hoshea the Shabbat preceding Shavuot. In order to prepare us for receiving the Torah, Hashem led us through the desolate wilderness to wipe our slate clean from any residue of the impurity absorbed during the Egyptian exile. Only extended living in the wilderness enables the deep spiritual transformation in the heart of the children of Israel. The correct English translation of Bemidbar is “in the desert.” This word is moreover related to the word for speech “dibur.” From this we learn that the desert speaks (hamidbar medaber). I once experienced the silent voice of the wilderness when I joined Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin’s annual moonlit desert hike. It was a total transformative experience to be away from all the glitter of establishment. No stores, no houses, no buildings, not even a tree – just sand and endless mountains are all you see. When sitting and meditating alone in the desert, you can feel how all the exterior layers of your identity evaporate, as you get in touch with the core – the spark of G-d – infused within your soul. Just as the desert cleansed Israel of any foreign influence in preparation for receiving the Torah, so does our haftorah describe how Hashem brought us to the desert to help us do teshuva (repent) from the negative influence absorbed during exile. The haftorah compares the Jewish people to a married woman who went astray after foreign men. Hashem (her husband) promises to bring her to the desert, in order to renew his relationship with her. “I will visit upon her the days of the ba’alim, to whom she burnt incense, and she adorned herself with her earrings and her jewelry, and went after her lovers, and she forgot Me, says Hashem. Therefore, behold I will allure her and lead her into the desert, and I will speak comfortingly to her heart” (Hoshea 2:15-16). Specifically in the desert, will Hashem speak to our heart. For in the desert, we can peal off our exterior layers of attachments to the material – the “earrings, jewelry, lovers etc.” Then we can open ourselves to hear the comforting voice of Hashem, whispering through the silent wilderness, to return to Him with a complete heart.

Complete Equality between Husband and Wife Reflects the Ultimate Rectified Relationship with Hashem

The Hebrew word for husband ba’al literally means “master.” This reflects the subservient role of women throughout the times, when they were dependent on their husbands for their very existence. I truly do advocate the importance for the wife to respect and look up to her husband. Yet, on the other hand, if the husband is her master, something in the relationship between them is missing. Through the relationship of servant/master, husband and wife are unable to relate to each other in the very highest way, as a servant cannot fully unite with her master. When he is above her and she doesn’t reach the crown of his head, their relationship is not completely matching. For example, if only the husband learns Torah, but the wife never learns, because she is completely overwhelmed by her domestic duties, then it may be difficult for them to conduct a conversation that will be equally meaningful for both. It is not only the woman who feels the lack, but the husband, as well, will find greater marital satisfaction with a wife who has become his complete equal, with whom he can share his deepest inner Torah thoughts. In this week’s haftorah, there is an allusion to the changing relationship between husband and wife, from that of servant and master to that of two equal partners. This reflects the evolving relationship between the Jewish people and Hashem, as the husband and wife relationship is a metaphor for the relationship between Hashem and the Jewish people. Only when the light of the woman completely matches that of her husband, will the Shechinah – the Divine feminine indwelling presence – permeate Israel completely without any partition. At that time Israel will no longer call Hashem ba’al, as Hoshea prophesies, “It shall come to pass on that day, says Hashem, you shall call Me Ishi, [my man] and you shall no longer call Me Ba’ali. And I will remove the names of the ba’alim (idols) from her mouth, and they shall no longer be mentioned by their name” (Hoshea 2:18-19). The word ba’al was also the name of the idol whose service was widespread in Israel. Therefore, relating to Hashem as the ba’al, carries the association of idol-worship, as we see in the abovementioned verse: Refraining from calling Hashem Ba’al is followed by removing “the names of the idols”. There are many levels of Divine service and relating to Hashem as the master is far from the highest. It is worship out of fear rather than from pure love. Hoshea prophesies about the future time, when we will rise to the highest level of serving Hashem with a complete purified heart. At that time, we will no longer call Hashem our master, because we have merged to become one with Him, in the same way that the wife will no longer call her husband her master as they will become unified as one. At the time of geulah, we will become purified from base desires to become a complete vessel filled with Hashem’s essence. There will no longer be any place within us that separates between us and Hashem. We will become the glove for Hashem’s hand to perfectly fit. 

The Connection between the Haftorah and Shavuot – Matrimony between Hashem and Israel

Shavuot commemorates the highest transcending moment of Jewish history– the wedding between the Jewish people and Hashem. The Tablets of the Torah were the Ketubah, and the mountain on top of their head was the chupah (marriage canopy). This is alluded to in the verse that describes the giving of the Torah: “He gave unto Moshe, when he finished (kekaloto) speaking with him upon Mount Sinai, two tablets of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of G-d” (Shemot 31:18). Rashi notes the connection between the word “kekaloto” and the Hebrew word for bride, “kalah.” “The word “kekaloto” is written without the vav [so it could be read “kekalato” – as his bride] to intimate that the Torah was handed over to Moshe as a gift just as a bride is handed over to the bridegroom” (Rashi ibid. See also Rashi, Shemot 34:1 where he compares the Tablets of the Torah to a marriage contract, and Babylonian Talmud, Ta’anit 26b). Just as on a king's wedding day, he distributes gifts to whoever asks, on Shavuot, we, too, can come to the King, Almighty, and request from Him the blessing of Shavuot. I have heard that especially as the sun rises on Shavuot, the sky is completely open for any request, especially if related to Torah. Just as the bride and the groom make a commitment to one another on their wedding day, so, too, on Shavuot do the Jewish people and Hashem commit to one another through an oath, as expressed in the concluding verse of our haftorah: “I will betroth you to Me forever, and I will betroth you to Me with righteousness and with justice and with loving-kindness and with mercy. And I will betroth you to Me with faith, and you shall know Hashem” (Hoshea 2:22).